Thoughts on the feelings of your next of kin

[Stockingstopgirl]

Being kind to everyone on this site who I have seen we all are genourously over 21. Especially for those that are married and there wife doesn't know or even those that are single and there relations don't know of there CD love. Do you have any fears or thoughts to how they will think of you when they are sorting your estate out on your death.

I myself dread it although I will be dead and gone. I think there will be feelings of shame and being let down.

[jazmine]

Yeah. ALWAYS thought about this!!!! For along time, I use to attach a note to my area or closet or whatever,,,, explaining to "whomever"......Hey, this is what I did, ...it's no big deal........I had fun......GET OVER IT!
or whatever I use to write. I use to update it often when I thought of something good or better to say.
But when I got married(she knows),,,,,,I stopped this practice. I should probably do it again, just incase we both die at the same time or whatever...

[VERONICARH]

Never thought about it, but I will be dead and they will have to deal with it. Hopefully I will know when my time is coming and be able to get rid of all my fem items, so they don't have to deal with that aspect of my life. This probably is wishful thinking.

[tonya2]

Think about it all the time. My son is a macho Marine and couldn't handle it, and my daughter, will I don't know how she would take it. Not very close to either one them, not by my chosing. Thought about making a video with an explaination as to why, etc, etc. Not sure of that yet. I also thought of
the note in the closet. Seems something has to be said somewhere either before or after. I am pretty much a loner so there is no one else that could explain the situation of my cd'g. Its funny, I was going to post this same
subject this weekend when I had more time. I guess I could leave a note telling them if they want more information to visit this site and let them make
up there own mind after doing some research here, but would they!
To be continued at a later date. Got to go.

Tonya

[TommiTN]

I'm of two minds about this (go figure!). Part of me says, hey CDing was part of my life and I got over any of the false shame about it so just deal with it. I won't be around to worry what others may think anyway. But there's only my Mom who knew I dressed when I was younger and may suspect I still do and hasn't said anything other than the occasional hint. She will probably pre-decease me anyway unless something catastrophic happens. I have a younger sister with whom I was never close until the last few years. She and her hubby don't know anything about Tommi. Knowing my sister (she's very uptight) she would be shocked and ashamed. My BIL pretty much goes along with her. I still can't decide what to do.

[Teri Jean]

I have given it a lot of thought and decided to write a "journal" toexplain the wheres, whys and so on. I also tried to inform my daughters that even though I love doing this I have the most respect and admiration for them and their womanhood. After that they will have to accept or not based on their own comfort zone. Now if they do finally get a look at Keli they will have to make that assessment sooner and knowing them for over thirty years I'm sure they will be okay with it. Keli

[sandra-leigh]

This is, in a sense, another facet of the long standing question, "who do you tell? who do you allow to find out?"

I haven't thought much about how my relatives are going to deal with post-mortum revelations of my cross-dressing. I'm fairly sure my sister will be understanding and accepting when-ever she finds out (I'll probably tell her myself when her own life calms down a bit). My mother... I don't know if she would ever "understand", but I believe she would come to accept it. (My father died about 35 years ago.)

I have, though, from time to time thought in general terms about what might be said about me at my funeral service, and about what people are likely to say about me when they find out I'm gone. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that (whoever) is likely to bollux it up, in the sense that people are probably not going to talk about the things that are important to me. How could they? I've made a little bit of a mark on the lives of perhaps 10,000 people (through my electronic postings), but very few people "know me".

These thoughts have led me to muse over the idea, from time to time, of leaving some kind of open letter to those left after me, a letter describing some of the events in my life and talking about the principles that are important to me... I guess my gender struggles would be mentioned there. But I've never done anything about the idea. I haven't even done anything about my thought of putting together a list of people I'd like to have notified about my (eventual) death.

[TGMarla]

I dunno...my wife would probably be the one picking through my stuff. She knows I like to dress up, but she doesn't talk about it. I leave it alone. She can do as she wishes with all of it, and my relative would probably never know.

And I'll be dead, so I doubt I'll care. Perhaps it will serve to bring some enlightenment to some people who otherwise would seem to have no tolerance for the transgendered. For now, I'll leave it at that.

[Karren H]

Nope... not really... I figure all the money I leave will more than makeup for any embarasement!!! hahaha

[Susan.]

I worry about it a little bit. Probably no one will find out unless my wife dies at the same time as I do. But even after death I plan to deny.

[beenherelongtime]

this has been addressed in another thread. one member of my family knows and i rely on him to purge what few items i have left.

[BaliGirl]

Do you have any fears or thoughts to how they will think of you when they are sorting your estate out on your death.


I think about this often. I live alone and no one else knows about my cross-dressing. I tell myself that I'll get a chance to purge everything before I kick the bucket. I don't like to think about the shock and disappointment of the relative(s) who would discover my secret. I would really like to spare them finding out, but how do you do that if no one else knows?

B.G.

[Stockingstopgirl]

a thought that on your immediate death you could put a letter in a prominent position." To be opened on my death prior to anything being touched" Placed in a prominent position in the house so it's always there.

Or if you don't like a male in your family and like to cause trouble put in " Thanks for the loan of the female clothes etc. But they were not my style" then there name included in the letter.:tongueout

[Jess_cd32]

Good thread and something to think about, I think a note for closet cd's is especially a good idea.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I have thought about it - if my Spouse outlives me - then no problem - but if I outlive her or should we die at the same time, then what ? At that time, I guess I really don't care what anyone else thinks because I won't be there to hear it)
JoAnne Wheeler

[Lesley Ann]

I never gave it a thought until a few months ago when I had a bad chest infection (I am unable to spell the medical term) and it looked like I would be admitted to the hospital, my SO started to put various items of clothes in plastic bags, when I asked her what she was doing, she said "Well if anything should happen to you I wouldn't want your girls to find out" At the time I was not aware of how ill I was! So yes I have thought about it, and I know my Daughters would not understand (I remember the fuss they made when I had my ears pierced) so my SO would tidy everything up as we live in the same apartment block, and of course she has all my keys and everything. What would I do if I was alone? I will have to think about that...........:doh:
Lesley Ann.