Opinions wanted....

[Barbra_in_Tulsa]

Ok, I know it’s been asked probably a hundred times before but I’m going to do it again. In looking back on your life, has being a CD something you attribute to a nature (hard wired, born that way) or nurture (something that developed out of growing up). I ask because I am really not certain for myself, I remember being fascinated with lace and the fun of women’s clothing and femininity in general but I am not sure I can say, “I was born this way.” I like comic books and liked them as a child but I am not sure I was hard wired to like them….so I am hoping for stories or opinions from anyone who wants to share.

Hope everyone has a great and delicious pink fog of a weekend,

Barbra

[Jennifer Cox]

No idea - just started in mid-teens for no apparent reason.

[docrobbysherry]

Started dressing out of the blue after age 50!

And never mind "pink fog"! My planned weekend will consist of VERY HEAVY "PINK SOUP"!:devil:

[Sarah...]

Nature.

[LisaM]

My earliest memories were of wishing I was girl. I remember crawling under a table crying because of something my mother said about being a boy. So I believe it is nature in my case as opposed to nurture.

[DonnaT]

I like comic books and liked them as a child but I am not sure I was hard wired to like them….

There's more to it than "liking it".

There are a number of men who have been known to dress for Halloween, or some fancy dress party. And some do it every year, because they like it.

Yet they don't have that constant urge (nagging) in the back of their mind pushing them to dress every chance they can get.

In other words, they have no problem not dressing enfemme.

For those of us who have found we cannot quit, it can either be an addiction, or something hard wired.

Addictions can be overcome. It may be hard sometimes, but they can be.

Plus, how does one become "addicted" to CDing from the first time dressing? Usually addictions take a while to build up.

Plus, what drove us to try on clothes meant for the opposite gender in the first place, when we usually knew it was taboo?

Note that I take pleasure in writing with my right hand, more so than my left. In fact I hate trying to write with my left. Yet we all know that many of us were hard wired to have a dominant hand.

But nurture does have a hand in it too. If we had never been exposed to those taboo clothes, then we'd have never crossdressed.

As for liking comic books, I believe you were hard wired to like them. There are a number of people who have been exposed to comic books and never taken a liking to them.

And it's a good thing that many of us like to CD, or we'd be like a lot of others who feel guilt and hatred of having the urge to do so.

Which brings us back to addiction. If one hates it, wouldn't it seem they'd have an easier time of stopping, if it were an addiction based on nurture alone?

[JaniceP]

Hello Barbra.

I sure can't speak for anyone else, but as for me, I just started too early for it to be nurturing.

I have 2 older brothers and I'm the youngest

Yes, my Mom had told me that she wished I had been a Girl, but that was already after I was dressing.

I was 4, (I remember the day), my MOM caught me wearing one of her half slips, (it had alot of lace on the hem.),she just giggled and left the room.

BUT, I KNEW at that time I wanted to wear pretty FEMININE clothes.

Lacy, Petticoated party dresses, cut undies, playing with my girlfriends and being a "girlfriend". But I also Played football and baseball with the boys, but I would have prefered to play dress-up and school with the girls,as we would do along with dancing to to the records, 45's.


All my FEMININE love Girls

Janice

[gennee]

I started dressing out of the blue at age fifty-six.

Gennee

[jazmine]

I think it's nature. I can remeber being like this since the begining. For me, it's something that goes beyond the clothes. Aquiring tastes for things like pantyhose,comic books,cars,dresses,arcade machines ect...........are just things that you pick up along the way,, for having a liking for, or not.

[Sweet Cindy]

Sure as hell wasn't nurture. Just had the urge to try panties on at a very young age and it's been with me ever since, despite sometimes wishing it would go away. Sounds like hard wiring to me.

[Rachel B42]

As for myself I began at 9 or 10 and it was a sexual experience at first but soon I found that I felt curiously comfortable and more relaxed when I had something on. In later years I went through the confusion and guilt feelings but then got to a point were I accepted who I was and since that day I have been very happy. I've never been really girlie but do know I have a special place in my heart and soal for the feminie. For me it is absolutely nature.
Rachel

[JoAnne Wheeler]

NATURE primarily and then reinforced by NUTURE
JoAnne Wheeler

[Karren H]

Not a clue... All I do know is I remember my mom telling me that I was supposed to have been a girl.. Telling me a lot!! So did this have an effect on me in the womb? It sure had an effect on me afterwards because I started crossdressing almost exactually when my sister was born!! What a coincidence? Lol

[Rachaelb64]

Haven't got a clue! A bit both probably :D

[jenniferj]

Definitely who I am and always was. I can remember dressing in my sister's clothes (with her encouragement) when I was 4 and "sneaking" off to do so whenever I could pretty much from then onward. I remember that when I was 6 I tried to come up with a model of a man who "tested" women's clothing.

I have recently read that there is an apparent link between trans-gendered men (of my generation) and mothers who were given DES during their pregnancies - I know that my Mom lost two babies between my sister and myself...

On the other hand, I discovered while in my teens that my Dad also liked to wear my Mom's stuff.

Or it could just be that women's clothes are so pretty :daydreaming:

-jj

[Lorileah]

OMG what a kettle of worms this could be (I like mixed metaphors). :)

Being or acting effeminate would be a nature thing. I prefer the Native American Beardache theory. We are two spirited. The clothing would have to be nurture as there is really no real "nature" clothing that is gender specific. The clothing is a man made idea. We all know that men used to wear skirts, wigs and stockings as a matter of course. There is NOTHING in the bible that describes what exactly is male or female clothing yet it forbids anyone from wearing the opposite gender. But we nurture the look and our style.

If there were no clothing to define us as crossdressers, the truely nature people would slip into gender defined actions. The nurtured CD's would have to work on looking feminine. Did that make sense?

Anyway, I am a nature believer. I remember telling my babysitter at the ripe age of 4 that I was really born a girl and that they had "sewed" me up to make me a boy and I was NOT happy about that. Exactly how does a 4 year old even understand the differences is sexes? Let me add I was an only child at the time so it ain't cuz I seed my sisters nekkid.

so I say nature to start then nurtured as we go along

[Kate Simmons]

It's like putting a jigsaw puzzle together my friend. CDing is only a small part of it when to comes to realizing what our purpose is.:)

[CharlotteW]

Nature or nurture, I don't know but I'm leaning towards nurture with regards to myself. The girls with greater aspirations will er on the side of nature, that is to say they should have been girls at birth.
I have been thinking about this recently and I have another reason for my alter ego. Quite simply, I really like women, especially those who are ultra feminine, so much so that I want a little piece of it for myself. I really enjoy when I see a woman actually dressed like a woman and NOT wearing bovver boots and scruffy jeans.

[Jess_cd32]

I have no doubt, I'm hardwired this way from birth.

[Katrina red nails]

I think naure since i can remember stuff from a very early age but ts had a bit of a nurturing explosion of late.:)

[KimberlyS]

For I believe it is nature with nurture influence. As long as I can remember I have been a guy with both masculine and feminine traits, personalities, and physical features. My dad pushed me to do sports and other male things early on. My mom allowed me to help in the house. So I did both growing up and enjoy both to this day. And I seem to be able to smoothly transition from from to the other and back and forth. I struggled a lot personally because I liked girls, but society put the labels of being gay, girly, fag onto me.

I believe I was born this way but society taught me how feminine and masculine looked, dressed, and acted. I am both so I dress both. Some times more masculine some times more feminine and some times more androygenous.

kimberlys - cd
joe in a skirt

[charlie]

Hello Barbara!
As far back as when I was three I have had dreams of wearing woman's clothes. One of my favorite dreams was wearing a skirt and leading a girl army. That led to dressing like the dream ...and so on. Now at age 59 I'm still dressing.

[sami1952]

for me it was something that,s been inside me since i can remember,as a kid i was more comfortable playng with girls then boys,as i grew older i realized that i felt more like a women inside then a man. then i started wearing women's clothing and i felt more relaxed and more like a women then a man and it;s been like that ever since.

[Jenniferpl]

Nature or hard wired. As far back as I can remember I have wanted to a girl. The more feminine I become, the more at ease I am with my self. No one encouraged my to try on my sister's bras at an early age. No one encouraged to be wear my mother's long line bra every chance I could. The urge drives me crazy at times. I just thank my lucky stars my wife is accepting.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I think being a cd and having the desire to dress up and be made up to look like a woman is as genetic as a preference for a favorite color, food, or hobby.

I think people are more prone to or drawn to certain things because of genetic make up combined to what experiences are available to them as they progress through life.

Why does a nerd become a nerd? Why does a football jock become a football jock? What makes an artist pick up a paintbrush? Why do some people prefer strawberry flavored milk over chocolate milk? What makes a man want to dress up and look like a woman?

I think we're all a combination of our genes and our surroundings. Too bad that crossdressing happens to be considered a social taboo instead of the chocolate milk thing though, huh? It would be a lot easier to live with and hide the fact that I prefer chocolate milk rather than have to hide my feminine side.

[Jo-Michelle]

I have to agree with Gabrielle. For me it was nature for sure. I can look back on my entire life and taking the clothes part of it out, I've always thought and felt like a women deep inside. More emotional then most men, love cute furry things, love chick flicks and on and on.

[Shannon]

For me, I think there is an underlying natural wiring that I have nourished and learned to embrace over the years. And clearly, again for me, there was a "self-medicating" addictive component. Now, it is a very special part of me that I don't want to be without.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I'm at a total loss really - just had the urge at about age 11 or 12 (or thereabouts). I have a younger bro and no sisters so I didn't have a lot of girly nurture growing up. Suppose that makes it nature as far as I can fathom!

[Maura_ohio]

as i have dressed & related to *being* a woman since as early as i can remember, i feel it is something that is inside my DNA as-it-were, as opposed to something learned or reaction to external stimulus...... if you are open minded to your life-energies having lived in other bodies in past lives, there is always the possibility that you were a girl/woman in another life, and maybe didn't finish something important, had your girl personality bleed thru to your present life, or ????? It may sound far-fetched, but you never know....

Maura

[swiss_susan]

Like anything it tends not to be one or the other. This is one of those shades of grey. I do what I do because I choose too, I really don't think we learn or are born to these kind of lifestyle choices. I just enjoy who I am :)

Susan

[Darla L]

For me, my earliest memories were of wanting to be a girl. As I grew older, I

became more of "the manly man" type. And I don't mean that negatively.

Just more in to working on cars, hunting, fishing, sports, the usual things we

associate with being a man. But, I always had urges to dress, and often did

when I would go to take my shower. I would try on my mom's things. The

desire to be a woman never really left me. Now, I truly enjoy being a manly

man at times, and very feminine at others. Thank Goddess I have a wife who

enjoys doing the things associated with masculinity as well as being feminine.

We balance each other, and I believe we were made this way for each other.

So....nature (not genetics nor nurturing these genes didn't come from either

of my parents, but the jeans I'm wearing came from my wife's side of the

closet!)

[Tess]

Who knows? I certainly don't but I doubt very seriously it was nature since I was 12 or 13 before I started and never thought about doing it before then. Honestly, I think it had a lot to do with doing something I perceived as being taboo...the forbidden fruit theory. I have the same theory about how I became bisexual...the adrenaline rush was addictive.

[MsSamanthaErica]

It's hard for me to say, deep down. I know my mom wanted a girl and then I came along. She has never let it hide that she 'always wanted a daughter'.

What does that say? Perhaps nothing, but it does give me a little bit of a security blanket. My parents would not understand what I am and what I am becoming. I barely understand it myself. But I embrace it nonetheless! :)

I do tend to get along with GG's better (I have way more GG gf's!), always have and always liked hanging with the girls even at a young age...

Hugs,
~Samantha

[curse within]

For me I think it was hard wired, I say that because as most of you already know, it is something I really never wanted in my life..I've tried in so many ways to accept it and just go with it, like some express so often in here. But that doesn't work . I can relate to those who have accepted it and I feel nothing is wrong with it.. It wasn't nurtured into me I can promise you that.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Nurture imply's that someone guided you into crossdressing and for me no one guided me or taught me to crossdress it was something I need to do, it was my feminine side wanting to express itself. As I grow older those feeling's of being feminine are becoming stronger everyday. Kimberly is me and will always be me. :battingeyelashes:

[Carole Cross]

A|s far as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a girl. If I hadn't been caught at age 16 I would have probably transitioned already. :sad:

[Crystal Alberta]

I can remember having CD desires from an very early age, and I can't think of anything in my upbringing that would have prompted that, so, for myself at least, I'd have to say it was nature.

Crystal

[Danni Kay]

I don't know. I've always had the desire to be, act, and dress feminine. I don't know how much "nurture" there was to it. I was always expected by my family to be a typical masculine boy, and other than being allowed to put some of my mom's old things on for fun at age 4 or 5, my CD'ing wasn't allowed. My family was pretty traditional, but in addition to having me involved in sports, I also took one year of ballet lessons, for which I wore tights and a leotard (I didn't associate these with CD'ing, then nor now).

When I was in kindergarden I asked my mom to buy me jelly shoes (remember those?), she told me no, those are only for girls. I was quite upset. In the summer at the pool or beach, I liked to wrap a towel around my waist and pretend it was a skirt. I also wanted to wear the plastic bangle bracelets that were popular back then, and that wasn't allowed. :Angry3:

I was always more comfortable around girls and got along better with my female friends, and was jealous they got to wear skirts and dresses and could have pretty long hair and barrettes. :sad:

So, since I've had CD (and possibly TS) feelings from a very young age, I'm going to go with nature mostly. :2c:

[Samantha43]

:strugglin

I have no idea......

[Intertwined]

In my case, I attribute my being to 3 things.

1st: Nurture, from age 2, I was raised by my Mom & her friends, my Grandmother and Aunts, I had almost zero male influences in my life.

2nd: Nature, I was recently diagnosed with Klinefelters Syndrome, this means I have 3 sex chromosome XXY.

3rd: Spiritualy, Worn-out garments are shed by the body; Worn-out bodies are shed by the dweller within the body. New bodies are donned by the dweller, like new garments are donned by the body.

[CD Susan]

It is definately something that I was born with. I can remember starting to experiment with my sisters' clothing when I was five years old. The urge to do this has never left me since that early age. I have gone through periods of denial and not accepting of this part of who I am but eventually learned to accept it as a permanent part of who I will always be.

[Paola Lobos]

I have no idea. My first brush with things feminine was definitely sexual -- bra ads in my mother's magazines when I was a kid. But that almost immediately was followed by a desire to wear bras, too. Did a childhood fascination turn into some kind of a fetish? Of was I feeling something feminine from the beginning? I don't know.
Paola

[Celeste]

I feel its a little of both also.

[Sophie_C]

Ok, I know it’s been asked probably a hundred times before but I’m going to do it again. In looking back on your life, has being a CD something you attribute to a nature (hard wired, born that way) or nurture (something that developed out of growing up). I ask because I am really not certain for myself, I remember being fascinated with lace and the fun of women’s clothing and femininity in general but I am not sure I can say, “I was born this way.” I like comic books and liked them as a child but I am not sure I was hard wired to like them….so I am hoping for stories or opinions from anyone who wants to share.

Hope everyone has a great and delicious pink fog of a weekend,

Barbra

I believe people's CDing in the way it is normally done, as a release and reversion, is sort of a psychological response to having to conform to rigid gender roles. People naturally land all over the place, from femme to butch, but if someone is naturally femme and has to act butch as part of social constraints, the femme part of the is eventually going to seep through.

Personally, I have photos of myself behaving with typical 'feminine' stances and body language from when I was young, and remember being corrected for it, so i'm damn certain, I was born, simply leaning toward the femme side of things.

I can't say for everyone, but at least for some of it, it is genetic.

[sometimes_miss]

If you read my bio there is a very strong case for conditioning being the cause. But, it's different for everyone. There's a lot going on that we aren't aware of when we're young, and our personalities are being formed. Basically, it can be nature, nurture, or some random combination of both. You really have to analyze yourself in depth to figure it all out. Or, you can just go with the flow, and how you feel, as long as you can accept yourself for who you are.

[Samantha Kelsey]

I have four brothers and two sisters, all are "normal" and I was the third born. It must be nature as we were all treated the same and all the others are "normal". I do have a gay son though I wonder if that could be linked . I'm dead straight in that department.

[Shari]

I was pre pubescent when i saw my Mom's girdle and stockings lying there, almost talking to me, telling me to put them on. Call it a revelation, whatever you like.
There were no conscious thoughts about dressing prior to this particular moment, but I picked them up and knew I had to try them on. It was up to my room and my first slice of heaven.
I've been hooked since and I don't want to stop.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Like it's been said before the things were just hinging there so I put
them on and there was no turning back I was six years old then
now sixty years later I have twice as many womens clothes and shoes
as my wife has.
N or N ????????
ORCHID

[Lanore]

I really believe I was born more female than male. Looking back, I just felt like a girl. I can remember helping my mother with her Avon parties. She would test a frangrance or powder on me.

[Kelsy]

I believe it can be a combination of both! I think you are born with certain temperments and inclinations toward being feminine. Certain stimulus encountered in your upbring may activate what is already natural.

Kelsy

[tvbeckytv]

Hello Barbra.

I sure can't speak for anyone else, but as for me, I just started too early for it to be nurturing.

I have 2 older brothers and I'm the youngest

Yes, my Mom had told me that she wished I had been a Girl, but that was already after I was dressing.

I was 4, (I remember the day), my MOM caught me wearing one of her half slips, (it had alot of lace on the hem.),she just giggled and left the room.

BUT, I KNEW at that time I wanted to wear pretty FEMININE clothes.

Lacy, Petticoated party dresses, cut undies, playing with my girlfriends and being a "girlfriend". But I also Played football and baseball with the boys, but I would have prefered to play dress-up and school with the girls,as we would do along with dancing to to the records, 45's.


All my FEMININE love Girls

Janice

by the time you understand what are boys and girls clothes, you have already had probably the most influential period of nurturing of your life. dont misunderstand what nurturing is.... it is a very subtle thing that inflences your character development. You can be brought up as a perfectly normal boy, but somewhere something in your development fired a trigger to make you susceptable to having a feminine side. This then becomes part of you make up.
in a way it is natural, as it is a natural development process, but for most of us not likely something from birth....not IMO anyways

[danacd96]

Hi Barbra,

I believe I was born with both male and female characteristics. (androgynous) When I was young I tried to ignore my feminine side due to my own ignorance and insecurity. As I have grown older I have learned to embrace both sides equally. This has lead to greater balance and has made me a better person in many ways.

lv, dana:)