Methods of Disclosure

[Sara Jessica]

I read another thread this morning which made me think of something related to disclosure and sharing when it comes to our SO's meeting our other sides.

Mine has known since before we were married and has seen me before, though not in a very very very long time. And yes, I long for her to meet the newer, improved and more refined "me" someday but I know I cannot push too hard. She is understandibly reluctant. However, one thing we've talked about doing, an idea which might help others out there, is for her to meet me "in progress" rather than giving her the shock of "ta-da, here I am", communicating every step of the way.

Part of my rationale is of course to lessen the shock of seeing me for the first time. But I also want her to see the effort it takes and at the end of the day, though communication and understanding, and perhaps whatever image she has of me when I go out and about will improve, knowing that I can at least halfway pull it off.

This idea won't help those who have already gone through full disclosure but for those of us who may be in "negotiation" for our SO's to share more of this with us, it may help. Thoughts?

[Lora Olivia]

Sounds like a good idea to me

[Jonianne]

.......However, one thing we've talked about doing, an idea which might help others out there, is for her to meet me "in progress" rather than giving her the shock of "ta-da, here I am", communicating every step of the way.......

You could also ask her to help you "in (the) progress". That way she gets to have input and have a part in the finished product.

[Sara Jessica]

You could also ask her to help you "in (the) progress". That way she gets to have input and have a part in the finished product.

I actually have zero desire for her to help. I've been at this long enough I don't really need that from her, other than the fact it would be nice to be able to bring home a new outfit and get her opinion and stuff like that.

But for others, that might be good advice, being careful of course that in doing so, it doesn't weird her out even more. The whole idea here is to soften the potential blow.

[deja true]

...I actually have zero desire for her to help. I've been at this long enough I don't really need that from her, ...

Actually, hun, it makes no difference if you're so accomplished that you really dont need her help. The idea is to ask her to help...so that she might become a little more invested in Sara Jessica.

Remember when you wanted that speedboat and she thought it was a bad idea? So you got it anyway and showed her how to run it and let her take the wheel and...bingo...she really liked it!

Believe me, SJ, you do need her to help. That'll also help allay her fears that maybe you know much more than you should know....and why!

If you want her to be involved in SJ's life, you'd better invite her into it! Not just piss her off by showing how much more accomplished you are at being femme than she is. It ain't all about you! Its about you both!

[Jonianne]

.......I don't really need that from her.......

I meant it for mostly her benifit, not necessarly yours. Some wives might feel more comfortable knowing they can have some input and want to feel like they are needed, especially in an area where they have a lifetime of experience in. But you know your wife better, if you think it would "weird her out".

[beenherelongtime]

good idea

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Try it - share your results with us
JoAnne Wheeler

[Sara Jessica]

Actually, hun, it makes no difference if you're so accomplished that you really dont need her help. The idea is to ask her to help...so that she might become a little more invested in Sara Jessica.

Believe me, SJ, you do need her to help. That'll also help allay her fears that maybe you know much more than you should know....and why!

If you want her to be involved in SJ's life, you'd better invite her into it! Not just piss her off by showing how much more accomplished you are at being femme than she is. It ain't all about you! Its about you both!

Deja, I appreciate the thoughtful comments. And I'll describe below where the misunderstanding is because I may not have expressed myself so well. But I wish to make one thing clear, I never suggested or implied I was more accomplished in being feminine than her. I would never be in competition with any gg so as to claim that I am more or less feminine, especially with my beautfiul & wonderful wife!!! That is a theme you will never see me waver on. I think it is ridiculous for any of us to suggest we are in any way, shape or form more feminine because at the end of the day, THEY ARE GG'S. Also, I will never suggest that any gg is less feminine because of how she dresses (ie-jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops).


I meant it for mostly her benifit, not necessarly yours. Some wives might feel more comfortable knowing they can have some input and want to feel like they are needed, especially in an area where they have a lifetime of experience in. But you know your wife better, if you think it would "weird her out".

I think the lines crossed when I interpreted "help" as in makeup application or something like that. So please allow me to clarify, I will not ask her help to apply makeup, doing my hair, etc. Those are the areas I'm comfortable in to the point where I don't need her help. And you are right, I know her well enough to know that meeting Sara is one thing, saying, "hey hon, can you help me with my eyeliner" is another. That certainly would be a deal breaker. Then again, just meeting me could be as well.