Having regrets, need help!

[stacee2008]

Hi everyone, I am a newlywed who is now beginning to regret the fact that I decided to get married and throw away my Crossdressing lifestyle and clothing. My wife knows about my past and has seen me dressed to the nines as a hot chick. She used to be extremely jealous of my nice legs and would often say that they looked better than hers(they did). She made my throw-away all of my stuff-everything! My wife is a sweetheart but doesn't dress-up in sexy outfits like I want her to. I have an extreme pantyhose fetish and she knows this. I drop hints to her all of the time that I would like to see her in a pair of pantyhose and the heels that I have bought for her, but I haven't had much success. Since we were married in June of 2008, we both have put on some pounds and I don't feel the same about myself as I did when I dressed. I took better care of my body/legs etc. when I knew that I'd be dreesing-up as a hot pantyhosed diva. I don't know how much longer that I can go on like this. Would appreciate any advice that you ladies can offer!:daydreaming::o, Stacee

[Lorileah]

Ouch

Well lets say that putting on pounds after the wedding is almost a guarantee. We slip into that comfort zone and let's be honest, we don't think we need to work to impress anyone anymore. The good news is this is not set in concrete. Get back in shape.

On the other matter. Most of us went through similar things peri-matrimony. Either we purged ourselves or we did at our partner's request. It does not go away, trust me. If anything it gets stronger.

Probably 10% of the posts here are asking the same question you are asking and there are hundreds of answers. Can we tell you what will work? No. We can offer shoulders to cry on and what may have worked for us.

So here goes. Talk. Do it now. Don't let things simmer and then use them when you finally boil over. Ask why she is against it now. Does she think it will interfere with your being able to provide? Does it make her feel less feminine or less important? Whatever the reason work through it NOW. You will have to decide what works for you both. Do not let this become a fulcrum in your marriage. There are so many other things that are set to destroy your partnership. Things you can and cannot control. But whatever you do do not let this fester. Believe me there will come a time in your lives where this is so much drama under the bridge.

[Heather_Marie]

Wow that is a hard thing to be going through right now. So does she ask you to dress in anything that she likes? Because if she does then it is only fair that she does the same. Is the door shut on you CD'ing forever? I would start by commutation that is always they best way to go then you and her can talk about everything in your heads. I’m always talking to my wife about things like that if she wants to see me in something she likes then she does the same for me. I hope this helps a little.

It looks like the two Colorado gals are on the same wavelength Commutation, Commutation, Commutation.

[Karren H]

That's tough!! Would have been nice to have to come to some sort of agreement before you got married... And unless you can come to one now.. Looks like you will have to choose one over the other.. Personally I'd choose my wife and family any day over crossdressing..

[Heather_Marie]

I would do the same Karren family is way more important. I hope you get things worked out.

[MelissaSue]

Hi, Stacee!

With the exception of the fact that your wife knows about your past dressing, your story sounds a lot like mine...a long time ago. If, indeed, you are on a path that leads to where I am now, I strongly encourage you to clear this up with your wife as soon as possible. Find that comfort zone right away, or at least know up front that it's not possible. It's much harder to do that later in life, and later in your relationship with your wife and others.

-Melissa

[Sandra]

My wife knows about my past and has seen me dressed to the nines as a hot chick. She used to be extremely jealous of my nice legs and would often say that they looked better than hers(they did).

Just maybe she though she was having to compete with you.




My wife is a sweetheart but doesn't dress-up in sexy outfits like I want her to. I have an extreme pantyhose fetish and she knows this. I drop hints to her all of the time that I would like to see her in a pair of pantyhose and the heels that I have bought for her, but I haven't had much success.

Why should she dress in the pantyhose and heels, just because you want her to?
If she's not comfy doing it or just doesn't plain like it the she has every right not to do it.. I'll be honest if it was me ,I would feel with it being a fetish for you, that I was just beng used to accomdate your fetish.



Since we were married in June of 2008, we both have put on some pounds and I don't feel the same about myself as I did when I dressed. I took better care of my body/legs etc. when I knew that I'd be dreesing-up as a hot pantyhosed diva. I don't know how much longer that I can go on like this. Would appreciate any advice that you ladies can offer!:daydreaming::o, Stacee

Try talking to her about how she feels, because from this all I can see is that you are more concerned about being a hot chick/pantyhosed diva.

[Tamara Croft]

Threads like these just make me roll my eyes... :rolleyes: pantyhose and heels is a CD fetish, stop throwing it at your wife :Angry3: Why don't you try buying something 'she' likes and not what you want her to wear eh? And you didn't have to throw away anything, you 'chose' to throw them away, she didn't put a gun to your head and tell you to throw them did she....

[Kate Simmons]

I will only say this my friend. There comes a time in every relationship where one or both parties have to decide what is more important to them. My thinking on it is that the people are the most important part of the relationship. CDing is a thing and not a person and is mostly something created by the CDer. I learned that lesson the hard way. Believe me when I say it wasn't worth it in the end.:straightface:

[Holly]

I also subscribe to the communication method. As newlyweds, you both have a lot to discover both about yourselves and one another. Let me let you in on a little secret... the most important part of talking with your partner is... listening. And yes, that does go both ways. When your wife says something to you, listen with your full attention. Don't be formulating in your mind how you are going to answer while she is still unburdening her heart toward you. Not only is it rude, it keeps you from hearing all that she has to say and you could very well miss something very important for you to hear. Don't hide things. Even if you are successful in keeping your partner in the dark about what is going on inside you, it will eat away at you without relent. The guilt is simply not worth it. And if the truth does eventually come out (as happens more often than not) all you have done is build yet another obstacle to clear out of the way, wasting even more of your precious time and energy.


Yes, some discussions will be hard... on one or the other or both of you. A marriage is not an easy thing to maintain. But having spent the last 40 years with my mate, I can tell you with absolute certainty, that there is no other relationship on earth which can compare to a loving relationship between two people totally in love and attuned to one another. It is worth the effort.

[Sheila]

Hi everyone, I am a newlywed who is now beginning to regret the fact that I decided to get married and throw away my Crossdressing lifestyle and clothing.

She made my throw-away all of my stuff-everything!

I have an extreme pantyhose fetish and she knows this. I drop hints to her all of the time that I would like to see her in a pair of pantyhose and the heels that I have bought for her, but I haven't had much success.

NOW which is it ................. you decided or she made you .. 2 opposite statements in one paragraph

and sorry but if it was a fetish for my partner I would not want to be involved .. and i am a very accepting SO ask ~Debs :D

[Bernadina]

The only advice I can offer is that you put your wife first in all other aspects of your lives and treat her like a Princess. If she is to accept you for who you are then she needs to be accepted and lavishly loved for who she is.

[Daintre]

My opinion may be different.

You cannot live vicariously through your wife, you know she is a casual person, why would she even entertain wearing hose? It is your pasion not hers. I don't think it is an all or nothing scenario here, there must be room for compromize. As for the weight gain, yes couples tend to gain a pound or two after marriage, but are you using food to compensate for not dressing?....just a thought

[Di]

I do not understand why you would care what your wife likes to wear.....I mean you want her to accept what you desire to wear
Why the double standard?

Why did you not speak up and tell her it's a part of you and to work out times you can wear what you desire if she didn't want to see it.........I just do not get this...she knew before being married she has seen you dressed and then everything it tossed out....I am confused did you not make her realize this was something you did? Did you not realize yourself you still wanted to do this and let everything be tossed?

Dropping hints ...... that drives me bonkers ...Why not speak up..how would someone know how much something means to them by dropping hints?:doh:

She knew before you got married So...talk and listen and get on the same page...throwing a marriage away over pantyhose:eek: and not TALKING Please talk and sort this out.

[StacyCD]

Talk, talk, and talk some more. If she's important to you then it's worth the effort. However, I believe that statistics show that even with the best of intentions, crossdressing will come back and leaving it until later to discuss is what I did and was my biggest mistake! (at least one of the biggest).

[Joanne f]

[QUOTE=Sandra;1575367]



Why should she dress in the pantyhose and heels, just because you want her to?
If she's not comfy doing it or just doesn't plain like it the she has every right not to do it..





[QUOTE=Tamara Croft;1575376] pantyhose and heels is a CD fetish, stop throwing it at your wife :Angry3: Why don't you try buying something 'she' likes and not what you want her to wear eh? And you didn't have to throw away

I think that we all can make this mistake some times (especially at Christmas, the underwear thing):lol: how would we like it if we were bought something very manly and told to wear it , you should know by now the type of things she likes to wear and go from there .

[Kerry Owens]

Lawren can back up I am a accepting wife, but if Lawren ever demanded, or constantly hinted I'm supposed to be in pantyhose with 5 inch heel....well, it will not happen! My physical handicaps throughly rule out high heels I'm not willing to deal with a broken hip just because someone has this fetish thing in the skull........sheesh communicate! Talk! Discuss! and Listen to her, quit sticking yer fingers in your ears and singing lalalala.

[ReineD]

What do you regret? Marrying your wife or agreeing to purge?

I agree with the others. Talk to your wife now and determine why she objected to the CDing. I suspect it goes deeper than being jealous of your legs. Does she feel threatened? Does seeing her husband in pantyhose and heels turn her off sexually? Does she feel objectified if you bring your love of hose and heels to the bedroom?

Did she think it was a hobby you could easily do without?

If you cannot let go of the need to dress, I suggest you tell your wife how important it is to you and you can both take it from there. Hopefully you will be able to reach a compromise.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I drop hints to her all of the time that I would like to see her in a pair of pantyhose and the heels that I have bought for her, but I haven't had much success. Since we were married in June of 2008, we both have put on some pounds and I don't feel the same about myself as I did when I dressed. I took better care of my body/legs etc. when I knew that I'd be dreesing-up as a hot pantyhosed diva. I don't know how much longer that I can go on like this. Would appreciate any advice that you ladies can offer!:daydreaming::o, Stacee

I think I get you pretty good. I have a strong need to see my wife dressed sexy as well. I've had problems in relationship in which the girls I dated did not dress sexy much or at all. I admit that it is a selfish request on my part, but just like anything else, it is a very important part of a relationship for me.

What I learned is that it was not possible to talk a girl in to dressing sexier than she would do on her own. It causes problems and ultimately frustration for both. You can't try to change people in that way. It just doesn't work. These relationships never lasted for me because I was not getting as much out of them as I needed (not just the dressing sexy thing).

When I first met my wife, long before we were ever dating, she dressed pretty sexy very often. She did it because she liked the way she looked and felt when dressed like that (kind of like a lot of us). Of course, this was just perfect. She dressed sexy on her own and I loved it. This alone would never have been enough to build a good relationship on, but it sure made one hell of a start!

She doesn't dress sexy as often as she did many years ago, but she'll do it for me from time to time without my ever having to ask for it. She knows I love it and she loves to see the way I look at her when she's like that, so we both get something good out of it. Of course, I'll also dress sexy without ever being asked. :heehee:

If you truly feel like you can't hold out much longer, I'm sorry to say that your marriage may be in serious trouble. I know that is not what you want to hear, but I hope you'll allow my honest and experienced opinion on this. You're not getting something that is vital to you and sound like you won't be happy without it. It also sounds like you were a lot happier with yourself when you were actively crossdressing.

Forgive me for saying this as I'm giving you my honest opinion, but I think I know what the outcome of this will eventually be. Regardless, I wish for you and your wife to find happiness, peace, and love, be it together or apart. Good luck. :)

[curse within]

Stacee,

To start if you have strong desires you should express them to you wife get that out of the way..I would then go from there it doesn't hurt to let her know how you feel ,communication is the key .. Now you said she knew and seen you dressed before I really don't see a problem with talking to her about it..

I didn't see but one negative remark about how she felt about your prior dressing other than she made you throw your stuff away.. Does she accept you from your past dressing or did she think she was going to change who you are?

A great start would be laying it all out on the table now just so she knows it's on your mind if anything ..

This is just a suggestion but I see no harm if she already knew unless there is something else you didn't share with us.

[Billijo49504]

That makes a good reason for living together, before you're married. I hired my wife, after my first wife died, as a baby sitter/ house keeper. She asked my girls who's panties these are, Daddies!!!!!...BJ

[battybattybats]

Threads like these just make me roll my eyes... :rolleyes: pantyhose and heels is a CD fetish, stop throwing it at your wife :Angry3: Why don't you try buying something 'she' likes and not what you want her to wear eh? And you didn't have to throw away anything, you 'chose' to throw them away, she didn't put a gun to your head and tell you to throw them did she....

Good Point!!!
No one should demand their partner wear what they want them to.
It's a good argument in favour of CDing acceptance too. It cuts both ways.

It also again comes down to fundamental human rights. Philosophically but also legally neither partner has the right to control veto or make demands over what the other does with their body. This is enshrined in law with the overturning of the Husbands Perogative (where a husband could ignore the wife saying no to sex without it being legally considered rape. Thankfully that law is history in much of the world).

So both husband and wife are left with making requests of their partners bodies/clothing choices and having to accept that no means no.

Another fundamental right is the right to change ones mind. If you find you cannot stick to an agreement not to dress then you have the right to back out of it, but you will also lose whatever you may have gained for that agreement. This too is also a womens-rights issue, the right to withdraw consent at any time for any reason leading up to and during sex for example as well as the right to divorce.

My advice is to find a way to discuss the difficulty your going through. That you had hoped her dressing would alleviate your desire but that currently things are not working out that way. Your deal may need re-negotiating. Some counselling may help perhaps. It may take time to resolve the dillema. If the process takes time then the longer you take to start it the harder it will be to let it run at a speed you both can deal with.

[carolinoakland]

I agree with the talk crowd, and doing it NOW. Carol

[Samantha Kelsey]

[QUOTE=Sandra;1575367]Why should she dress in the pantyhose and heels, just because you want her to?
If she's not comfy doing it or just doesn't plain like it the she has every right not to do it.. I'll be honest if it was me ,I would feel with it being a fetish for you, that I was just beng used to accomdate your fetish.
QUOTE]

I totally agree with the above. HOWEVER, this works both ways. Why should he dress in drab just becaus she want's him to?

[tammigurl]

Stacee - forget everything else. You have found a woman who married u even though she knew u were a CD. What a blessing!!! As a newly married,this is the optimum time to communicate, communicate, communicate.....build a foundation of understanding and agreement. Talk to your wife and get to the bottom of why she wanted/made/forced u 2 purge....get it all out in the open. Right now is the time to set in place these arrangements so u can enjoy guilt, stressfree CDing in the future. Determine immediately when, where, etc. she will agree 2 u dressing....I assume u love this special lady therefore don't force your CD will on her; love her with everything u have; discover what is her love language - gifts, works etc and build your relationship into something beautiful that u will cherish above all things. Also listen to the wise counsel of your other online gurlfriends

[Sheila]

Batty I am not gonna quote your whole post .............. but human rights are not always toop of the agenda in a relationship for mosy people

I for one believe in truth and honesty as being a major factor in my relationships

You lie to me and I find out then expect some real Sh**Y reactions from me .... you (as in the whover you has lied) can expect some serious hard time over the lies.


stacee ................... I have an extreme pantyhose fetish and she knows this. I drop hints to her all of the time that I would like to see her in a pair of pantyhose and the heels that I have bought for her, but I haven't had much success

Read the bits in red hun TOG ................. YOUR FETISH ..... NOT HERS:brolleyes::brolleyes:

[battybattybats]

Batty I am not gonna quote your whole post .............. but human rights are not always toop of the agenda in a relationship for mosy people

Which is why a great many relationships are abusive.


YOUR FETISH ..... NOT HERS:brolleyes::brolleyes:

And has been mentioned her desire that CDing cease is equally wrong on the same principle! This is a case where someone was not deceiving! That excuse doesn't apply to this just as it didn't apply to me in my own past relationship. Honesty was in fact there!

Stacee and her partner both want their partner to conform to their desired appearance. Stacee in part wanting it so that Stacee can conform to the wives desire!

I think there is a cisgender normative bias assumption at work that is preventing some people from seeing that the two are very much the same principle, the same problem.

[Sandra]

Why should she dress in the pantyhose and heels, just because you want her to?
If she's not comfy doing it or just doesn't plain like it the she has every right not to do it.. I'll be honest if it was me ,I would feel with it being a fetish for you, that I was just beng used to accomdate your fetish.




I totally agree with the above. HOWEVER, this works both ways. Why should he dress in drab just becaus she want's him to?


Yes it should work both ways, but him dressing in drab is not a fetish and I imagine that this is where she's probably coming from, in that she doesn't like the fetish part of all of this.

[battybattybats]

Yes it should work both ways, but him dressing in drab is not a fetish and I imagine that this is where she's probably coming from, in that she doesn't like the fetish part of all of this.

That it may be a fetish is immaterial. Its still the same thing.
Rights and fairness aren't relative values. That christianity is more common than scientology does not stop them being equal under freedom-of-religion for example.

The same principles exist at every level of macrocosm and microcosm.

So just because one's a fetish and nes a 'norm' they are both equal demands on the rights freedoms and somatic sovereignty of each partner. They are the same thing.

And if the fetish is so that her own request of no-cding is fulfilled that logicly makes it more reasonable even when both are equally fair/unfair to begin with!

It's a matter of subjective bias towards the more common thing. That's intellectually invalid and unfair.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Stacey - like you, I made my "GREAT PURGE of 95" in order to satisfy my spouse - hurt like Hell to do it - I was able to keep my URGE under control for 10 years - THEN -> the URGE returned BIGTIME - I do not think that it is possible to resist the URGE - my point in telling you this is that your URGE will return - that is when it is going to hit the fan - you may think that it won't return, but it will - just want you to understand
JoAnne Wheeler

[Sheila]

Batty again ....... people do not live in books .... we live in the real world ...... we live withour emotions, dreams and ideals .... we strive to reach for our stars whatever they may be

when you yourself are stepping out on a daily basis putting you on the line then I feel you can tell us how to go about living our lives . I am sorry hun but we who do this know exactly what is happening out there and why we take the courses we do.

Life is for living and I intend to do that .... sure some of it is tough ......... but whether or not you fell human rights are something to be at the forefront of every relationship I think you are wrong ....... I do not want to battle the world on a daily basis within my relationship ...... and if we have problems I do not need a UN resolution telling me how I should behave in my personal relationship ....... in that we should be working those problems out tog

There is far far too much Political Correctness in this damn world :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

[Hali]

it will be extremely hard to find a GG/SO that is completely accepting of all of "our" CD fetishes and desires but some SOs really try their best. We shouldnt not expect much from our Sos, but we should demand some form of recognition of our CDing part since its part of our nature or part of who we are (that is if a CDer inform his/her spouse before marriage), any relationship where the CD part of a CD will be ignored is not going to last or there is going to be anguish for the CD.

There is no relationship if the parties involved do not recognise and accept each others differences/weaknesses/likes and dislikes , this goes to relationships between nations, pple, religions, workers etc, and most importantly husband and wife.

If you decided to ignor/ stop CDing completely because you are married then you are just kidding yourself. Convince your spouse to give you her consent to dress onces in a while or make it clear that yoour CDing is "here to stay" it will be easier for both of u.

[rickie121x]

She likes to wear "other" things, and you happen to like to wear femme stuff. You have your rights to wear what you like, and so does she. You can try to talk your way around to address this situation but it would appear that some demarcations have already been drawn. Whether the two of you have the sophistication to transcend these is unknown to me, but the probability of counseling to begin peace talks on the critical issues is more likely to be successful.

[Satrana]

HOWEVER, this works both ways. Why should he dress in drab just because she want's him to? That was my thought as well, everyone is quick to jump onto the back of Stacee but automatically ignore the bigger issue that his wife has pressured Stacey to give up crossdressing and live a life in drab.

The default position of many is apparently the promotion of inequality by ignoring the original problem based on the belief a wife has the right to demand her husband present only as masculine. This is the problem which lies at the root of Stacey's dilemma NOT the fact that his wife does not want to dress up for him to encourage sexual intimacy.

Stacee - your marriage is off to a bad start and probably you share in the blame by readily agreeing to purge thinking you could channel your energy by other means. You need to readdress this issue asap. The longer you wait the more difficult it will be to change things. You need to reassert your right to express yourself and you must get your wife to open up and define the issues that cause her concern and angst which you can then offer sensible solutions. Take things slowly and have patience but don't forget that you are an equal partner and your needs are every bit as important as hers. Where are her compromises?

[audreyinalbany]

Your story sounds somewhat familiar. I spent the first few years of our marriage buying my wife sexy things that I would have liked to have seen her in, but she's not really a 'sexy things' kind of gal. What I was actually doing was sublimating my own desires and projecting them onto her. It took literally years for me to come to the realization that the cute stuff I was buying was really for me. Of course I thought the leather skirts and black stockings looked great on her, but I also wanted them for myself.
The bottom line is communication. It took my wife and I almost twenty-five years to even discuss my crossdressing let alone try to deal with it, and it is still an ongoing issue between the two of us. If I were you, I'd try to accelerate the process a bit. It may even take the safety of a counselor (disinterested third party), but, in the long run you are much better off dealing with it now rather than later.

Audrey

[battybattybats]

Batty again ........ people do not live in books .... we live in the real world ...... we live withour emotions, dreams and ideals .... we strive to reach for our stars whatever they may be

To put it blunty, I am aware of that. And I'm also aware that right and wrong require accepting that our feellings do not always lead to right but also to wrong and so a higher understanding is absolutely required.


when you yourself are stepping out on a daily basis putting you on the line then I feel you can tell us how to go about living our lives .

Out as a Goth for much of my life, back when constant fear of assault was not unreasonable. I've taken my wounds and have scars to prove it. Being disabled I'm going slower, more gradually with CDing but nevertheless I've been out in public in my own town fully dressed, have come out to most of my friends and am very androgynous in most of my daily public appearanace anyway doing my shopping in eyeliner and eyshadow with long painted nails. Often with black or purple lipstick too!

So I'm doing that! So I take it I now have your permission to tell you how to go about living your life then :devil:


I am sorry hun but we who do this know exactly what is happening out there and why we take the courses we do.

If all decisions are fully informed then there can be no excuse for injustices. Only through ignorance and naiivity are there excuses for them.


Life is for living and I intend to do that ..... sure some of it is tough .........

Of course it is.


but whether or not you fell human rights are something to be at the forefront of every relationship I think you are wrong ........

What other philosophy determines right and wrong in any relationship? Considering the many abusive relationships, considering how hard women had to fight to have their rights legally recognised in relationships then clearly rights DO apply to relationships, in many ways thats one of the most important areas they apply to! Just a casual look at all the womens rights issues in the last century and a half shows that they very much do belong in relationships and define right and wrong within them!


I do not want to battle the world on a daily basis within my relationship ......

How would or could you?


and if we have problems I do not need a UN resolution telling me how I should behave in my personal relationship

Human Rights don't come from thr UN. They come from the Enlightenment, where the tyranny of Kings was discarded and all people were determined to be equals.


....... in that we should be working those problems out tog

As equals.... with equal rights.... there can be no fairness in a negotiation betwen people who are not recognised as equals, it becomes an abuse of power nothing more.

You can't take the benefits of them like being able to say no to your husband or charge a wife-beater with assault or testify against them or own your own property or any of the hard fought for human rights for women within a relationship without being obligated to those very same rights yourself!

And that you can take those benefits for granted now is no excuse. They were neccessary, women went through rape, were bashed, murdered, arrested and tortured in order to get those rights! And they are either right now or they never were. Would you really like to go back to the days when women had no rights within a relationship?

If not then your obligated to learn and understand and respect them.


There is far far too much Political Correctness in this damn world :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

This is no abritrary and exaggerated 'political correctness', this is about plain simple basic moral and ethical reasoning, its about justice. It's about the suffering of past generations for your benefit. And there is still far too little justice and fairness in this world.

I suggest you may have some history to catch up on. Of the Womens Rights struggles, on the Enlightenment and where those rights come from.

And maybe you need to look at the amount of abusive relationships there sttill is and at the horrors that still go on in countries where women have no rights.

Women raped by husbands, made slaves in their own homes, rape-victims having acid thrown in their faces or stoned to death because of the 'dishonour' to their male relatives, widows forced to burn alive on husbands funeral pyres so children can take the property left behind.

And you complain that the very principles that make those things wrong and protect women in the west from them, that generations of women fought with their very lives for are 'too much political correctness'?

[Sheila]

that you can take those benefits for granted now is no excuse. They were neccessary, women went through rape, were bashed, murdered, arrested and tortured in order to get those rights! And they are either right now or they never were. Would you really like to go back to the days when women had no rights within a relationship?

If not then your obligated to learn and understand and respect them.

I suggest you may have some history to catch up on. Of the Womens Rights struggles, on the Enlightenment and where those rights come from.

And maybe you need to look at the amount of abusive relationships there sttill is and at the horrors that still go on in countries where women have no rights.

And you complain that the very principles that make those things wrong and protect women in the west from them, that generations of women fought with their very lives for are 'too much political correctness'?

Batty from someone who is disabled, from someone who has been in an abusive relationship .... ending in a spell in a womans refuge, from someone who's ex partner was jailed for that abuse, trust me I take absoulutely nothing for granted in any way shape or form.

I have also been active in various roles & in various organisations throughout my life, from personal relationships with friends and neighbours, in the workplace & including political ,to do my small bit to bring about equality and fairness, justice and enlightenment wherever I could ... I may not have the word power or high intelligence level you have, but that does not make me any less qualified than you to atempt, to do my bit for fair play.

from someone who has spoken on abuse allbeit to small groups and has now placed her name on clubs speaker lists to be invited to speak about "living within a transgenderd relationship" I feel I am doing what I (me as a single person) can, to to bring about an awareness of issue that have affected me thus far in my life. I tend to want to personalise the issues to make others realise from a personal point of view, how things like abuse and Transgenderism affect people on a daily basis ... the high fulluting stuff I leave to those better qualified to deal with ....... O may only be making small, but I feel, just as important steps to making the world a fairer place ...... you on the other hand are entirely free to disagree with me ................... now I will leave this thread to it's oiriginal heading "having regrets need help" ....... should you wish to discuss this further with me you can always take it up in my visitor message where others can folow the discussion and join in if they wish to :D

[battybattybats]

Batty from someone who is disabled, from someone who has been in an abusive relationship .... ending in a spell in a womans refuge, from someone who's ex partner was jailed for that abuse, trust me I take absoulutely nothing for granted in any way shape or form.

I have also been active in various roles & in various organisations throughout my life, from personal relationships with friends and neighbours, in the workplace & including political ,to do my small bit to bring about equality and fairness, justice and enlightenment wherever I could ... I may not have the word power or high intelligence level you have, but that does not make me any less qualified than you to atempt, to do my bit for fair play.

from someone who has spoken on abuse allbeit to small groups and has now placed her name on clubs speaker lists to be invited to speak about "living within a transgenderd relationship" I feel I am doing what I (me as a single person) can, to to bring about an awareness of issue that have affected me thus far in my life. I tend to want to personalise the issues to make others realise from a personal point of view, how things like abuse and Transgenderism affect people on a daily basis ... the high fulluting stuff I leave to those better qualified to deal with ....... O may only be making small, but I feel, just as important steps to making the world a fairer place ...... you on the other hand are entirely free to disagree with me ................... now I will leave this thread to it's oiriginal heading "having regrets need help" ....... should you wish to discuss this further with me you can always take it up in my visitor message where others can folow the discussion and join in if they wish to :D

I do agree you are doing good work. It is important though to understand the WHY something is abuse or unfair or not. It's something everyone could and should learn and I'm sure it will very much help you in your work. Knowing the WHY allows you to predict whether something will be wrong or right more accurately in advance and it allows you to see when generally-accepted wrongs are in fact wrong when most people are used to them and so consider them right. (which covers all the civil rights causes right there)

Though I think its very much an important part of this thread, as whether ones request is more valid than the others or both are equal is very very important to the situation, I'd still be happy to discuss any detailed aspects or side-issues not so directly relating to this issue in visitor messages.

[stacee2008]

Well Ladies.....Thank you very much for all of your inputs and suggestions, but I have decided to go-back to being a full-time man and devoted husband! I will miss getting "dolled-up" for awhile, but that will pass as I focus on other, more important things. So there will be no more new photos and dialogue on this forum. I will check-in every now and then to see what's going on, but that's about it. I say "goodbye" to all of you-it has been fun and I wish all of you the very best! Bye bye, Stacee:sad:

[Carly D.]

Don't throw away your marriage over cross dressing, it's not worth it.... Did I just say that??? ok.. I'm not sure it is.. truth is what is the harm in wearing this clothing.. ok.. dress yourself down, tone your self down.. or maybe it's too late to do that.. if you would have looked a little less convincing when your wife first saw you, then maybe as you "get better" at looking fem then she would accept you.. I'm grasping here.. but it's more than likely too late to put the horse back in the barn.. put the genie back in the bottle.. but you know what I mean.. about the only thing left to do now is split up the pantyhose and bras.. how's the lawyer gonna handle that one??

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Well Ladies.....Thank you very much for all of your inputs and suggestions, but I have decided to go-back to being a full-time man and devoted husband! I will miss getting "dolled-up" for awhile, but that will pass as I focus on other, more important things. So there will be no more new photos and dialogue on this forum. I will check-in every now and then to see what's going on, but that's about it. I say "goodbye" to all of you-it has been fun and I wish all of you the very best! Bye bye, Stacee:sad:

Good luck to you. :) Check in with us in a few months to let us know you're happy and doing well as a full-time man. Not every cd can just leave behind that essential part of their life, so it may be inspiring to some members here (who wish to do just that) to hear that you've found happiness in doing so.

I'm very happy as a cd and my wife enjoys Gabrielle very much as well. We had a long chat just earlier today about how good our marriage has been lately and how devoted we are to each other. Cding or not, I hope you find yourself having a similar chat with your wife soon. I enjoy hearing happy endings to marriages that were once suffering from one thing or another. :)

[docrobbysherry]

Statistically, the "honeymoon" period usually lasts for about 3 years! In my marriage, it was about that, too.
So, u can look forward to 2 more blissful years! Like the one you've already experienced!
Before u must go thru, what the pastor that married us called, " The tunnel of Hell!":doh:

Goodbye, have fun! Go enjoy yourself!:D

[Nicole Erin]

So the solution is simple - don't expect her to wear anything sexy for you and you are not allowed to dress sexy either. That is right, just like many other posters said... Who needs a healthy sex life anyways?

Look in seriousness, even if she DOES wear hose for you for sex, she will not enjoy it, yet this is something you need.
Therefore, you are not sexually compatible.

And, she doesn't want you to dress the way you want [in the bedroom or otherwise?]

YOu know what? This marriage is still pretty new, you would do REAL well to escape this marriage now instead of living in misery for how long?

Yeah so you found someone who who loves you even though you were CD, that does NOT mean you two are compatible.

She may be your wife but she is not your daughter, mother or keeper, you are not her keeper, you basically do not owe her a thing. If this marriage is going to make you unhappy, get out of it, People divorce all the time. It is no big deal.

Keep in mind that those who sit here and tell you that your marriage is worth more than CD'ing, well I wonder if they have had to make that choice? I tell ya they would not be giving the "purge CD" advice if it was THEM who had to face that choice.

It is more than CD'ing - do you REALLY want to give up your enjoyment of life to make someone else happy? Your wife has her own life, why let her control yours? THIS is where you need to be a man, not in the clothes you wear, but in deciding to stand up for your right to be happy.