Are we scared to meet other CD's

[DeniseNJ]

I would really like to but is there something in the back of our minds that say NO that's wrong. It's not like I an real new here 400 posts BUT is it possible that the fear of the unknown or being considered GAY if you dress and go out with another CD stopping us from meeting. anybody feel like this ???

[Debutante]

Crossdressing is such a vulnerable, tentative and fragile thing often times -- dealing with our inner feminine and erotic that, for most males, can be frightening.
Having started a TG support group in the Boston area (called AXA),
one has to be tolerant, strong, political, and positiv, with a shared vision.
But in just meeting one or several -- yes, find the ways to do this! Being social, sharing, leantring -- takes the loneliness, shame etc out of the solitary experience.
Dealing with homophobia, or transphobia, will be part of the process too...

[Jodi]

Denise, Over the last 10 years of going out, I have met and socialized with literally hundreds of other cd's. I routinely go out to straight venues with other cd's. I have some cd's that I really enjoy their company. There are others that I want nothing to do with. My feelings have nothing to do with how they look when they go out. My feelings are based on who they are as a human being. I like to hang out with good people. I like to stay away from jerks.

If you have trouble going out and meeting other cd's, it is your own inner feelings and fears that are holding you back.

I know there are others on this board that have no problem meeting other cd's. I have socialized with some of them and enjoyed their company.

Jodi

[Brina Halloween]

It might be irrational in some ways but, it has crossed my mind. It will likely influence when, where and how I meet anyone from here.

I have been around a few gay and lesbian people and never felt anything wrong around them. It is not my thing, they never acted in any way wrong. It was fine partying with them. While several have asked to be my friend on here (mostly local people), I suspect initial meetings will be of groups or at events (when I decide to attend one). The only people I would likely be comfortable meeting for dinner, are ones that have posted a lot about themselves that I can have an idea of their values. On the other hand, I probably don't post enough for the reverse to be true.

My answer is "yes"

Brina

[Kate Simmons]

Not really but if I were another CD I might be scared of meeting myself.:)

[Cassia-Marie]

I met with three other ladies from here for lunch last week. I was nervous (I had never met another CD) but I soon relaxed and we had such a great time. I never even questioned their gender throughout the entire meal - they were just 3 great ladies who were loving life and having a blast being who they are. I only wish that I hadn't been coming from work and could have dressed up as well. Next time, for sure! (maybe :heehee:)

[Babette]

Denise,

Nothing you mentioned has ever bothered me. I ask myself, why should someone like me who dresses like a lady be too concerned about what others think at that point? Actually, if I had any concerns, it would be whether I was making a good impression as a nice person.

Pardon the pun, but feel free to let your hair down and just have fun.

Babette

[patddfan]

I'm scared to be anything but a man out in public. if I met a really beautiful TG on the street, then I wouldn't be so afraid to be honest with him/her!

[Alice Torn]

As i get older, i find myself not having as much contact with people in general. I admit, that i am a bit afraid to meet other cders, just as i am afraid to meet any new people. My cats are my closest friends. I have great trouble being close to anyone, but, in a different town, in the right setting, I might consider.

[AllieSF]

Denise,

Each of us has to find our own level of comfort for going out, talking openly with others and meeting with others dressed or in drab. I started a little over 2 years ago (I know, I am a slow learner!). I had fun around the house, but after joining this site, I really had the desire to go out. Of course, my courage level was mixed but I knew if I found a CD friend I would have some good support in my first adventure. I am an extrovert to begin with, so talking with new people is not a big deal for me.

I met Roberta online here on this site. We decided to meet me in drab first. So we did in Nordstroms in San Francisco. Roberta came in drag too because she was babysitting her granddaughter. It was not awkward at all. I was a little anxious, but all that disappeared once we startd talking and taking care of the granddaughter. Since that time I have met others, always at a safe venue where either of us could bail out if the need arised. So based on my experience and your own comfort level, meeting another CD if handled comfortably, will be fun, enlightening and very refreshing as you start another phase of your development. Going out for me is the best. Good luck.

[StephanieT]

Not afraid of meeting others. There is safety in numbers and I think it would be fun to be out with another CD:D

[carhill2mn]

No, I have never felt that way.

[Tamera]

Working as a server at Big Boy(as Tamera) I meet all kinds of people. I meet many people from the LGBT Community and its "GREAT".

Being in 3 area support groups I meet others of the TG community whether they are in FEM or not.

So for me meeting people is what I do, no matter what or who they are.
Hugs,
Tamera

[Tracii G]

Joining a TG support group was a very wise choice for me.I was able to interact in a very positive way in a safe environment with others and have made some friends as well.
Our group has TG,TS,Gay,Lesbian all types.I love all of them.BTW several supportive SO's attend.

[Billijo49504]

I had one bad experiance with another CD, She thought we were going to have sex, but I convinced her, I wasn't interested. She was younger and stronger, I just had a 38 special with hollow points. Seeing as I had 5 friends in a circle, I out numbered her. Now I'm sceptical of meetings, but I usually have a gun in my purse....BJ

[Susan.]

I'm for one am not looking to meet others. I've turned down meetings before. I'm just too shy and conservative.

[Tamera]

Billijo

Us girls can have "Bad Meetings" with anyone. Whether they be TG or GM.
GG's have bad meetings as well. Some are survivors, some become a statistic.
So I say "Everyone on the Forum" Be careful and Love You All:love:

It's nice to see your a "SURVIVOR".
Hugs,:hugs:
Tamera

[Karren H]

Scared... no... cautious... yes...

I have met quite a few local girls... dressed and in drab and some have become good friends... But I don't just jump at the chance to meet some one... takes me a bit of time to get to know someone before I feel comfortable enough to meet.... just the way I am...

[SamanthaT]

Circumstances don't permit me to meet others, but sounds like a great idea!

[rochelle smith]

I would like to meet somebody (as a friend) so I could have somebody to talk to,but I do not know of anybody in the St.Louis Mo. area, especially on the east side.

[docrobbysherry]

Followed by a DEFINITE, " Maybe!":brolleyes:

[AKAMichelle]

Meeting another crossdresser is like a two edged sword.

Side #1: It's great to be out and get to talk with others like yourself. The experience helps you find out who you are and in the process learn a lot about yourself.
Side #2: Fear!
a) Fear of getting read while out. It happens enough anyway so to me why worry about causing 100% of the people out there to know you are a guy in women's clothes.
b) Fear of them outing you. This one is a legitimate fear, but a small one all the same. The person you are meeting is trusting you not to expose them. Therefore, mutual blackmail. Keep you mouth shut. :D
c) Fear of being recognized. This one could happen with or without a crossdresser present.

Therefore, I would say the pros definitely out weigh the cons on this one. So go meet another crossdresser.

[lanell]

I know how you feel I would just love to become friends with at least one that I can share my desire of femininity without being uncomfortable about it
as one may say I am a lesbian cursed in a male body

[Joy Carter]

If you want to avoid problems or miss understandings, tell the person you plan to meet up front what you expect. I have two close friends and I'm open to more. Any one up for the dog park this week end ? LoL

[JOJO44]

I would love to!
But in the four corners area of the US, it might
a) be dangerous:Punch:
b) I sort of stand out like a sore thumb:thumbup:
c) I'm scared!:beatup:
d) help?:o

Love to all, :love:
JOJO

[crusadergirl]

Just not sure if i'm ready to meet others that cd. But it would be great to get the chance to meet others so i could go out more.

[Stockingstopgirl]

About 10 to 15 yrs ago I had found a nice Ladies wear shop were the owner was ver sympathetic. Helped me select Lingerie and outer clothes even if it was for the more mature Lady. The shop was a converted house and I was allowed to try my clothes of choice in what was the kitchen area.

She had told me several times that there was anotherCD who visited the shop and did I wish to meet him as he was interested to meet me.

I arranged to visit his home, not knowing what to expected I too my CD clothes in a brief case which could also cover to make me look that I was visiting him on business. As I pulled up on the street outside the house(in my male clothes)all the neighbours that were out staired at me . When i got inside he was ironing some skirts but all the time I felt that I couldn't trust him. Also when I left I felt the curtains twitching an the people outside looking at me. I hadn't Cd in frony of him and didn't contact him again.:eek:

[Joy Carter]

I would love to!
But in the four corners area of the US, it might
a) be dangerous:Punch:
b) I sort of stand out like a sore thumb:thumbup:
c) I'm scared!:beatup:
d) help?:o

Love to all, :love:
JOJO

JoJo I go out and I surely don't pass. Six foot and I dress to fit in with the crowd.

[Hali]

Crossdressing is such a vulnerable, tentative and fragile thing often times -- dealing with our inner feminine and erotic that, for most males, can be frightening.
Having started a TG support group in the Boston area (called AXA),
one has to be tolerant, strong, political, and positiv, with a shared vision.
But in just meeting one or several -- yes, find the ways to do this! Being social, sharing, leantring -- takes the loneliness, shame etc out of the solitary experience.
Dealing with homophobia, or transphobia, will be part of the process too...

WOW! Debutante u have really defined to a large extent the true nature of crossdressing, when ever i chat with a CD or an admirer my heart will be pounding........am i scared? sort of. I dont have CD/TG pple around me but i dont know how i will behave wen i see one.

[Linda Laman]

I have one friend (Janette) who is a CD. He is gay, I am not. We exchanged emails for some months before meeting. This at least gave me a feel for what he was like and what his attitudes are towards certain issues. I plucked up the courage to invite him home to meet me and my wife and have dinner with us. I have to admit some trepidation at inviting a stranger home, but as we were in Australia and I do not go out in public places dressed there, (the place has its fair share of intolerant bigots), it was really the only option. I had toyed with the idea of meeting dressed as guys first, but really wanted to meet Janette dressed. Any way, J came to my home, my wife cooked a great meal, we drank plenty of wine and we all had a great time. Since then J and I have kept in touch by email and we will continue to socialise when we are back in Australia. For me, it has been a good trip so far. But then you cannot generalise from a sample of 1.

[Joanne f]

There is no issue with me in thinking that it is wrong any any way or form and i have no problem in what people might think of me whether that was Bi,Gay, Straight or anything else as i have been called most things .
My problem is first of all i am very shy and i don't like meeting people, i have spent a life time of staying in the background , secondly i just cannot see why for any reason anyone would want to meet me , i would not want to meet me :D.(copying Arianna):heehee:
Then you have the personal layers to get through, as you are letting someone know on a personal level who you are and what you do and i think that is a major barrier to get through, like all things you can look at it two ways , on one hand that is the luxury of this site i can communicate with others and avoid personal contact , but on the other hand it stops me from crossing that barrier and going out to meet people, but you know what they say "you can`t teach old dogs new tricks" but my advice to you would be ,If you can brake that barrier then do it as the more friends you have in life the happier you may be, at least you are giving you self that chance

[Sheila]

My problem is first of all i am very shy and i don't like meeting people, i have spent a life time of staying in the background , secondly i just cannot see why for any reason anyone would want to meet me , i would not want to meet me :D.(

Well I would like to think that one day Debs and I can get to meet with you joanne :D:D

[sunnybunns]

My fear is that they would only want sex. Then the police would get called and I would have to spend the rest of the day answering questions.

[deja true]

Of course there's a fear in meeting others, especially when such a social taboo is at the center of our mutual interests...

But this is exactly what the local organizations and conferences are all about.

This site is a marvelous way to be able to come out to ourselves. Painful truths and worrisome thoughts can be put out there and examined and tossed around by hundreds of like-minded souls. But we're still hiding behind our avatars and assumed names.

One on one meetings with new people are scary enough as "what's-his-name" even without bringing our femme personas into the mix. Remember the roiling guts and dry mouth worries of those blind dates when you were younger? Will I make a good impression? Am I really as unattractive as I think? Is the other person too good or too pretty for the likes of me?

In a group of a dozen like many of the social groups that are talked about here or in a group of several hundred like at a big conference, there is safety in numbers. And, no matter what your fears are, there will always be somebody in that mass that you can relate to and find common ground with. There will always be somebody to take your hand and help you shed those jitters. There will always be somebody that you can befriend and help because they are even more scared than you. (And seriously girls, the best way to get out of worrying about ourseves all the time is to help somebody else get over their own fears.)

If you're scared of one on one meetings, I don't blame you. If you need to get out, find a group, go to a conference. You're willing to spend money on clothes and makeup for your look, so part with a little to register for a conference for the good of your self-esteem.

We'll see you at Chicago or Atlanta or Providence or Kansas City or Las Vegas or any one of dozens of cities that host events for us.

:)...Just do it!

[DonnaWanna]

I would love to be able to meet other cds. As a matter of fact my gg girlfriend and I were discussing that this past weekend. We would like to meet and/or go out with a local cd. We live in the Memphis area and would love to get to know some of our sisters.

[Joanne f]

Well I would like to think that one day Debs and I can get to meet with you joanne :D:D
That is great news but i can assure you that the fear factor has just set in, you have just scared the hell out of me yet i know it would be great meeting you both ( panic):heehee:

[Tamera]

Seems like some girls are worried about meeting girls because of the wrong intention. Or for fear of being outed.

Well you can always go to a LGBT club in the area, and it would be at night, and a good way to meet other TG's.

Or maybe you'll meet other girls on this site or another, as I have and go and meet that way.

Or maybe get into a Support Group and then you can do things together.

Gettin together with girls, for me is nothin more than a Coffee Clutch. We talk, laugh, and have a good time.

Remember you must first move the little stones before you can move the big ones. If you really want to do this, you WILL find a way. 99% of the people in the world are really nice people. It's just that 1% you have to worry about.
Hugs,
Tamera

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think that there is a lot of truth to that - we have lived in secrecy so long, we are so scared that someone might find out and expose us, that we are afraid of being labeled as being Gay, that we are sick, that we are freaks that it is so traumatic to even come out to other crossdressers - I think I would feel better if I could attend a totally crossdressing function where everyone crossdressed
JoAnne Wheeler

[carolinebrookes]

There are so many aspects to meeting other cd's that each and every one of us have a different view on what works and what doesn't.

I have met a few cd'ers in my time and some I consider good friends.
Some I know from online, and wouldn't hesitate in meeting mainly because I have built up a profile of what they are like.
Some from online I like but wouldn't touch with a bargepole as they obviously have other intentions!

It's horses for courses and I don't think the word "scared" aptly fits some feelings. Apprehensive sometimes fits better but the rule of thumb is always to "Stay safe"

[sometimes_miss]

It's not so much that I'm 'scared', but that because of my past I will always feel suspicious of other men. I always feel like they're trying to take advantage of me in some way, even if that's not the case. I know, I know, maybe it seems stupid. But I haven't been able to get past that feeling for the past 40 years, so it's not surprising I'm still dealing with it.

[audreyinalbany]

I agree that, for those with the inclination to meet other crossdressers, an organized meeting is the way to go. It provides protection and security and allows you to test the waters. After a lot of meetings, it seems that several of the girls elect to go out to a bar or coffee shop together to socialize.
My personal inclination is much more to go with with a couple of GG's to socialize. For some reason, sitting around kibitzing with other crossdressers has never really worked for me. It's nice to communicate with others on the forum, we can toss around problems and complaints and observations with each other, but in real life I don't think I'm looking for this kind of support, I'd just like to spend a few hours as one of the girls.

[CharlotteW]

I know a few CDer's and TG/TS folk and they're great to talk to. Meeting them and speaking to them doesn't make me gay either.

[nikki47]

I don't think i would be scared to meet another cd,but i would probably be far too nervous to admit that i was a cd too,i wish i didn't feel like that but i do,i really am so far in the closet.In my fantasys i would love to go out dressed,especially to a club and just relax and be myself.

Nikki

[AmandaM]

If you want to avoid problems or miss understandings, tell the person you plan to meet up front what you expect.


True, some who you meet are after a roll in the hay. If that's not your bag, you gotta speak out. There are many kinky crossdressers out there. If you're not one, let them know. They may not be kinky either. Either way, there's no tension.

[Lisa Golightly]

Met an awful lot of girls, taken photographs for many of them, never had an issue with anyone.

[CDPAUL]

there is one that comes into my place of business about once every 2-3 weeks. when he is here there are other customers here that dont notice or dont mind i myself am afraid to say anything to him other than the normal business transaction i just have not reached that level yet i dont know why it bothers me though

[Carole Cross]

I have only been out twice, but it has been to a local TG group meeting. So fra I have met about fifteen members and hope to meet a few more. I do not worry about being read on my way there and if anyone recognises me I figure they're going to find out eventually. It's really your choice however, I was very nervous the first time I went out and didn't know what to expect, but so far there have been no problems from anyone. I am defifnitely going out more, the genie is out of the bottle and wants to play. :devil:

[Shari]

To be totally honest, my fear would be sex.
I tend to fantasize more about really being a female when dressed, and although never having crossed over to the other side, I fear that the temptation would be too great to deny or stop should another cd who I found attractive came on to me.
For that reason more than any other, I stay at home, never worrying that I might do something I would regret. Even more, maybe I'd like it, and then where would I be?

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I'd really like to meet other cders - especially ones who have the most in common with my personal interest in cding. I've have the pleasure of finding (and being found by) several cders on flickr who have very similar profiles to mine and I really like that. We all have cding in common here, but there are so many different variations and why we do it.

As much as I'd like to meet another cd, I'm not sure I'm ready. If/when I do, I know I'll be very up front about the terms of meeting and make sure we're both on the same page. That's one of the biggest reasons meeting a cd who's personal interests are similar to mine is a very important thing. That way there shouldn't be any misunderstanding about intent.

I doubt my first time meeting up will be en femme though. Not ready to go out like that and that just adds another potentially dangerous element to the meeting. As a guy, not many people would mess with me on the street. Dressed up, and not quite passable, could be an open invitation for people to want to cause me harm. If I chose to meet another cd in person while in girl-mode, I'd want my wife to be with me. I trust her to watch my back for danger and help scope the general area around us.

I've browsed the "meeting place" forum, but haven't posted there. For the record, I only first started reaching out to my fellow cders online just a few weeks ago. It's great being able to chat with other people who get it, but still a little weird too. I really want to talk about the weirdness in another thread specifically. Very curious about other mind sets on those elements.

[Annaliese]

I have tried to meet many CD over the years and have little success. For the first meeting I just want to meet and talk in guy mode. Set up many meeting and for the most part no show.
I have found if you want to meet some one find a suport group or a social group I prefer the social group, the only one close to me is in Salt Lake City. I have been able to go out with them a few time when I was able to get to Salt Lake. I know of 8 CD here in Cedar City and StGeorge (40 miles a way) and have only meet one here in Cedar City.
I have told them where I work and how to contact me still no shows. Again I just want to be able to talk and get to know them.

I wish I new.

Annaliese

[Patty]

When I was newer to the this site and worring about being seen etc.
At one point I was is the process of meeting another local cd for coffee. I backed out of it. But a week or so ago another cd(from this forum) and myself got together for coffee after work(in drab). We had a good time talking--dressing, work, cars, growing up.
And I would do it again

[kristinacd55]

Are we scared to meet other CD's?
Denise, I bet after the first time it gets a lot easier. I know I'd like to do it, plus I'm a Jersey girl so we're close by. First, I want to take a decent pic, & get it on my avatar! :)

[Nicki B]

I would really like to but is there something in the back of our minds that say NO that's wrong.

Denise, I think you're talking more for what's in your mind? Why should it be wrong to meet people - or do you mean CDing?


I'm for one am not looking to meet others. I've turned down meetings before. I'm just too shy and conservative.

What's conservative got to do with it? :confused:


I have two close friends and I'm open to more. Any one up for the dog park this week end ? LoL

I can introduce you to a very sweet poodle..


Met an awful lot of girls, taken photographs for many of them, never had an issue with anyone.

One day.. :sigh: (And no, you don't need to bring your camera..)


There are other places to meet than Grand Central Station.

I've been doing it wrong, then.. :sad:

[DeniseNJ]

Shari I feel just like you , When I dress I wanna feel like a girl but to me it like tasting a wine it may be too sweet but you will never know till you sip it.. Hey , The first time I went out dressed {and not on Halloween I had fun at a drag show and hooked up with a group of nurses off from a shift to me it was a great night , it would have been better if I went there with another CD for courage!!!

[Leanne2]

Hi Rochelle,
Look up "Saint Louis Gender Foundation" in a search engine. I was a member there years ago. They probably still have monthly meetings where you can come dressed or dress there. Good Luck, Leanne

[Emma Chase]

An interesting question ...


I have been contacted by 2 members here over the time I have joined the forum to meet up. I met 1 and went to a local mall (both in DRAB) he went shopping for female stuff while I watched and look around the stores.

The 2nd time I have not had to time to meet up but hopefully will in male mode to start and go from there...

BUT

I have been approached from other forums/sites from local girls .. all sounds innocent enough, that they want a friend who understands and who they can chat with about crossdressing etc ... everything is fine then over a period of time through the wonders of online chatting the topic changes to when we meet up do you want to @#$%^ ?

I get frustrated as I think its hard to find people that just want to have maybe a small locally based support group to maybe dress in each others homes or do nails together, or just have a coffee and and discuss some of the challenges that CDing can brinf to our lives and know the other person gets this issue.

So if the person is not from this site (as they have been nice and not trying to get into my knickers) I get really on edge about arranging a meet ... cuz they might have a seperate agenda.. one far from my intentions!

[JOJO44]

I am probably wrong, but I think I would be to scared to go to one of those functions. I am able to go for a ride in a car only if I spend a lot of time preparing first, or I am in the country (no signal lights). Besides in a small town. . .
JO

[rochelle smith]

leanne2 thanks for the info, I'll check into that, also if their are any other ladies who would like to meet sometime please let me know

thanks rochelle

[JennyBaby]

I'd love to meet any CD's in the Minnesota area!

[ColleenShivas]

I am not really "afraid" to meet other male CDs, but since I am a heterosexual CD, I prefer to socialize with women. Although I did not understand it at the time, this has been true ever since I was a teenager. All my closest friends have been women.

I do appreciate the opinions and discussions that appear on this forum. They help us deal with the ambiguity between our bodies and our minds. However, my own inclinations direct me towards female rather than male social companions.

This may be what is meant by "a lesbian in a male body."

[Vieja]

I have only once been fortunate enough to meet and dress with another CD. We went to her house to dress and his wife was there. There were even pictures taken which showed me that if I ever try to pass I will need a lot of work. Unfortunately she moved away and I have made no contact with any other CD. It was a wonderful experience but it is unlikely that I will have another chance as El Paso does not seem to be a place with any support groups that I have been able to find. Tri ess is supposed to have a chapter forming but my E mail got no response.

Vieja

[kristinacd55]

I have been approached from other forums/sites from local girls .. all sounds innocent enough, that they want a friend who understands and who they can chat with about crossdressing etc ... everything is fine then over a period of time through the wonders of online chatting the topic changes to when we meet up do you want to @#$%^ ?
Emma, good point there. I suppose it would be better if it was a group setting or a couple "girls" to meet & shop with

[Sarasometimes]

I have thought about doing this and have not for the same reason someone else here mentioned. Fear of meeting someone I know that decide to out me. I can't lie to save my life so if this were to occur I would have a tough time being convincing that he is full of it. Now the if you tell on me i will tell on you doesn't work if he can deny it well enough. I don't think that meetings of this kind have any gay undertones. Two hetero CD's meeting is just that. When I look at the photos of others here and see them a beautiful women that isn't a gay act. It is recognizing their great job of looking the part. I strive hard to blend/pass but not to attract the male eye. i do it for the opposite reason. To avoid that untrained male eye and skip the awkward moments.

[JenniferR771]

I am shy, quiet and nerdy most of the time. But i have met a few other cds at support groups and from making local contacts from this forum.

[billie earls]

Sometimes just to meet others who share a special something would be a godsend. I don't want to travel all over the state, I just want to find someone close so that we could talk, I'm not talking about meeting all dressed up, just in drab and to talk. I'm not looking for anything, Iowa is at times cold towards those outside the norm(whatever that is) and the need for companionship is helpful if even in a small way.

[tricia_uktv]

Absolutely no. I go out with plenty of other CD's and we do get comments. But it makes life so much easier. A problem shared is a problem halved.

[Raya]

Not this one. I'd love the opportunity to get to know some of the local girls! My problem is that I live in the middle of a large rural area, so I might have to stretch my definition of "local" to the limit. :)

I've actually started reaching out to a few girls near me to chat, but things aren't looking too good. I really don't want to, but it looks I'm going to need to make an awful lot of three-hour drives to St. Louis, if Raya's going to have any social life at all. :sad:

[beenherelongtime]

i would be wary of meeting someone one on one, unless i had had a lot of corrospendence with her, and i would make it in a public place, of course i couldn't go dressed because as i stated before, i'm not very passable.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I had my first ever meeting with another CDer a couple of months ago, both of us were in male mode (I'll never leave the closet). It was a little wierd for me as I have never told anyone except my wife. 6 months ago I would have thought "no way", but since finding this site I have learned a lot and thought why not meet like minded people.

The chat over coffee at a shopping centre went well, and I hope to do it again with others soon.

[Vivian Chen]

I would like to meet many of you and take pictures with you at events. Unfortunately, I'm busy more often than not and I have limited amounts of the green stuff.

[Suzy Harrison]

I've met many from this site and I have to say each and every of of them were really nice people and fun to be with.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

I say, the more nice cd's I meet the merrier. I love meeting new people that are on my wavelength, and all I want to do is dress, plain and simple. I 'm involved with a social group in Brisbane. I went for the first meet-up last week, and it went ok, there were 9 tv's/cd's there and they all were wonderful and freindly. I'm going places. I'm tired of being lonely, and dressing by myself all the time.

[heidi99]

An interesting question ...


I have been contacted by 2 members here over the time I have joined the forum to meet up. I met 1 and went to a local mall (both in DRAB) he went shopping for female stuff while I watched and look around the stores.

The 2nd time I have not had to time to meet up but hopefully will in male mode to start and go from there...

BUT

I have been approached from other forums/sites from local girls .. all sounds innocent enough, that they want a friend who understands and who they can chat with about crossdressing etc ... everything is fine then over a period of time through the wonders of online chatting the topic changes to when we meet up do you want to @#$%^ ?

I get frustrated as I think its hard to find people that just want to have maybe a small locally based support group to maybe dress in each others homes or do nails together, or just have a coffee and and discuss some of the challenges that CDing can brinf to our lives and know the other person gets this issue.

So if the person is not from this site (as they have been nice and not trying to get into my knickers) I get really on edge about arranging a meet ... cuz they might have a seperate agenda.. one far from my intentions!

Just a movie and enjoy our common past time, right, Emma?

I, too, have thought about this topic. It's funny that the woman I married (and divorced) acted as a wellspring of courage for my first and only outing thus far. Perhaps it's not necessarily a courage thing, but I agree with the posts about being in a group that fewer bad things are likely to happen. I still think I am getting my routine down a little more before I'm ready for prime time, though. Eventually it will happen.

Good, sage advice here! Thanks everyone for posting!

[denns61]

It took me years(maybe a decade) of false starts before I met another girl like myself. Yes, I dressed at one time and looked OK. Since then I've met a couple of other girls(me not dressed). All the girls I've met were wonderful, decent people wanting to socialize with someone that stood a chance of understanding them.

Don't be afraid to meet others. If it won't destroy your marriage or damage your life in some way by all means find a way to socialize with other girls. I bet it brings great joy to your life.

[susan fuller]

I was afraid to meet other CD'ers but I joined the Tri-Ess group here in Houston and have had a blast ever since. I have met some wonderful CD'ers and love going on trips and to meetings enfemme. We exchange a lot of information and they give a lot of support. I dress more now and am feeling really good about yself with all the help they give.

[renee k]

Denise, Over the last 10 years of going out, I have met and socialized with literally hundreds of other cd's. I routinely go out to straight venues with other cd's. I have some cd's that I really enjoy their company. There are others that I want nothing to do with. My feelings have nothing to do with how they look when they go out. My feelings are based on who they are as a human being. I like to hang out with good people. I like to stay away from jerks.

If you have trouble going out and meeting other cd's, it is your own inner feelings and fears that are holding you back.

I know there are others on this board that have no problem meeting other cd's. I have socialized with some of them and enjoyed their company.

Jodi:iagree:

I totally agree with Jodi, and have done many of the same things she has with other cd's. If they're good people, and we get along. That's all the better. I try and stay away from the jerks. I generally like to meet them in drab first, I think that takes some of apprehension out of meeting someone. I have met many girls from this forum and other venues. So far they've all been really nice people and I enjoyed their company.

Huggs, Renee

[Tomara]

Hi , Good Topic

I would like to meet and be friends with other cross dressers in my area , the problem for me is that I am not passable at all and my impression is that most of the people who go out want to do so as a passable female .
It would be great to just be friends and not have to worry about looks and passing.

Tomara

[Cathytg]

I find myself reluctant to meet other CDers also. I wonder why that is. Maybe I am not as comfortable with myself as I think I am.

[PretzelGirl]

I had recently "met" someone on this board through PMs and we thought it would be great to meet. I hadn't told my wife that I was reading this board and it was high on my list as I don't hold anything back from her.

So first things first. I then broached the subject of what if I could meet anyone from the board? I do travel so it would also be possible for any of the locations that I go to. Unfortunately, she was not keen on the idea and it became one of her boundaries. She is very supportive and lets me run amock, so I accept all her boundaries.

So for now, there will be no meeting anyone outside of the board. Things may change later as sometimes time makes us more comfortable with things.

[MsJanessa]

I've met literally dozens of CDs, usually from the internet, in real life face to face meetings---most of them have been fine and some have led to lasting friendships--I also understand the reluctance of some of the girls not to meet other TGs--either too shy, scared etc or don't feel the need---

BUT the thing that really upsets Me and is extremely annoying are those people TG and otherwise who call and e-mail Me, saying over and over again how much they would like to meet Me, after talking, emailing and reviewing My profiles, both here and elsewhere, then never show up after they have made a date and I have gone to considerable trouble and effort to set things up---many don't even bother to contact Me to cancel and those that do have some halfbaked excuse for calling it off at the last minute(a classic one was "My great aunt is quite ill and she might die so I might have to go to the funeral"---

I understand that what a lot of you girls do out there is fantasy but PLEASE don't make a commitment to meet unless you really intend and DO follow through on it.-- The behavior of those of you who make dates and then are no-shows is unexcusable--it make Me think you are just a wannebe sitting in front a screen playing with yourself. There My rant is over:dom:

[MsJanessa]

True, some who you meet are after a roll in the hay. If that's not your bag, you gotta speak out. There are many kinky crossdressers out there. If you're not one, let them know. They may not be kinky either. Either way, there's no tension.

ditto

[slamddoger]

in small towen i dont think that there would be anthone out there

[TxKimberly]

Nope, I've pretty much made it a hobby to meet others when I travel. I've met probably around a dozen from this forum alone. :)

[bonniebma]

I enjoy meeting other CD's. It's always nice to know that you are not alone!

[barbara f.]

:)i would like to meet other cd's but i have no idea of going about it. i would like to ask a question of some of you cd's that have met other cd's. when you do meet do you act and talk like women? thanks, barbara

[TxKimberly]

:)i would like to meet other cd's but i have no idea of going about it. i would like to ask a question of some of you cd's that have met other cd's. when you do meet do you act and talk like women? thanks, barbara

When I am out and dressed, I always try to act like a lady - doesn't matter who I am meeting or what I am doing. As for the TG's I have met, it depends upon them - I've met some who were at both extremes.

[Rayne1]

I think it would be nice to share things with other cds, but I would want this to be as friends and nothing more. As a new member I would like to occasionaly meet with others to talk about our lives and any concerns.

[Emily Anderson]

I would really like to but is there something in the back of our minds that say NO that's wrong. It's not like I an real new here 400 posts BUT is it possible that the fear of the unknown or being considered GAY if you dress and go out with another CD stopping us from meeting. anybody feel like this ???

Denise,

I can only speak for myself in this regard, and I can only say this: I'm predominantly attracted to the female species, and all that is feminine. However, I'm also attracted to CD/TV/TG/TS folks, but only if they act like normal human beings. What do I mean by normal? Well, people that can function in society, enjoy life, and get on with being themselves...

[msginaadoll]

I am a new member from Michigan. I do love meeting other cds like myself. Usually I meet at places like Gigis or Rainbow Room, which are gay/lesbian/bi clubs. These seem like a safe place where we are in a secure environment. Only recently have I been meeting others through Groups like Crossroads and Affirmations. Its been a big step for me going out to local restaurants and to other houses for meetings. I would so love to go out with another cds for shopping or even coffee. It is not important that the other people look passible just that they try to be as apropriate for the situation we are in. If that makes any sense. When I go out I try to present myself as a female or at least feminine and would expect that of the other ladies. Gina

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I replied to this thread a couple weeks ago (post #50). Since, I've had a good discussion with my wife about this subject.

I have a very strong desire to meet someone like myself - a cd who's personal interest in it is very close to my own interest. It's been very liberating to be able to chat with everyone online, but I really want to meet someone like me. I've been alone in this my whole life - even though my wife knows, is supportive and loves me just as I am.

In chatting with my wife, I realized that as much as I want to meet another cd in person, I'm really not ready to.

In my previous post, I indicated that I would only meet in drab, at least at first. Mainly because I'm not comfortable going out en femme because I don't pass and that could be dangerous for me.

But, going out in my male form, puts me at risk of being outed. Pass or not, when I'm Gabrielle, I don't look a damn thing like my man-self. Not even close. So my true identity can remain somewhat hidden. But to expose myself in my male form is something I'm not ready to do yet.

I can't help but wonder what might be going through the other person's head. As much as I like to believe that they're as caring and considerate a person as I am, what if they're not? What if meeting goes sour? What if our friendship goes south long after meeting, and my man-face is now known and maybe even caught with a camera phone?

I honestly believe the chances for things to go wrong in meeting a fellow cd (with whom I have spoken to in great detail before ever meeting up with) are very minimal. But I have to consider the unlikely, but devastating outcome of a meeting gone wrong. I could loose my job, my home, perhaps even my life. I don't exactly live in a cd-friendly area.

I imagine the day will come when I am more comfortable meeting up with a cd in person. Perhaps when I can get Gabrielle a little closer to passable, and feel a little more comfortable with the potential for being outed.

I beat this drum all the time, but I truly blame society for my own fears in meeting someone like myself. If most of society didn't have crossdressers pegged as perverted deviants, there would be very, very little to fear in a meeting. So long as both parties know exactly why they are meeting, not as much can go wrong without the potential for being outed in the pool of possibilities.

Does anyone else feel similar and agree with this?

[Jo-Michelle]

I read this post and given a lot of thought to the subject.
First, I'd love to meet another CD'er such as myself. I love being with other people I share a common interest in and with. How to go about meeting others seems to be the biggest issue. I'm not into clubing. Forums such as this one are a possibility, but I think it takes a long time to getting around meeting others off forums.
I've only been in public a couple times and it was somewhat nerve racking. I want to be able to pass as a decent looking female. My facial features make that very difficult. Its something I can work on now that my wife knows and is willing to helpme with. Until that time I stay very low key.
I have to ask the question, if you were to meet another CD'er, would it really matter if you were dressed in fem or as a man? I almost think it may be more comfortable to meet as men to get to know each other, then meet in dress at a later date.
just my:2c:

[Nicki B]

I find it so sad to read of so much fear in many posts. :sad:

The strongest, deepest friendships you can make will be other transfolk, both M2F & F2M. - trust me on this?

[michellebesweet]

Not sure who to trust out there. I really have no CD freinds to go out with or meet with. I would hope that a lot of the groups that have formed in different areas are safe and have proven to be a great place to go and meet other CDers, but I have not been to any groups. I am just concerned, not scared.

[MsJanessa]

Not sure who to trust out there. I really have no CD freinds to go out with or meet with. I would hope that a lot of the groups that have formed in different areas are safe and have proven to be a great place to go and meet other CDers, but I have not been to any groups. I am just concerned, not scared.

Darling you live in New Orleans, the drag capitol of the South--I would love to live there== the folks are used to girls like Us and acceptance is way higher than other places. Now go out and meet some of the girls-- relax and have fun.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

As to the sex thing, one has to be careful what signals they are sending as well as receiving. Be careful and sure of the impression you are making. Also be reasonably certain of what the other seems to want and, if you don't want that too, divert the course or drop out altogether. It helps to have friends of course. <grin>

[Rosaliy Lynne]

hear hear! Going out as a public girl was a huge step for me but one that turned out very well indeed. Actually I probably broke all the rules - or most of them. First I went out alone and to a 'gay bar'. Well I had been there the night before in drab to check the place out and the cd/tg bartender made me feel safe and relaxed. I only went the first time because I was supposed to meet another cd but she had out of town company drop in unexpectedly. The night was Sept 15, 2005. It was also the first time I introduced myself as Rosaliy. You don't forget something that good.

[goofus]

In my experience, yes, many CD's are scared to meet other CD's (including ones on this forum, you know who you are :) )

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Don't be scared. Since my first 'coming out' I have been going out, cautiously at first, shopping, buying gas, etc. Each step out was successful and each success makes the next foray easier to attempt. Going out in femme is now second nature to me. Along the way I got involved with a Tri Ess group. This added a social element to my life and has made a great difference in my life. It also helps to be supportive as well as to recieve support.

By the way, Michelle, you are quite lovely. That attractiveness should help you making friends. And just as an aside here - friends increase your net worth in the only coin that really matters.

[allisonrn06]

While I would like very much to meet other cd's, I worry about it for reasons other than you mentioned - mainly the possibility of meeting someone who will out me deliberately or other wise.

[Anne G]

I would like to, just have to get up the nerve.

[Cary]

I was untill I met with PeggySue this weekend for lunch. It was very nice and informative. I hope it is the first of many meetings. She is a nice person and we learned alot for each other.

[MJ]

Please don't be scared to meet others. i have met many both f to m and m to f , and i have to say we are an amazing lot. we may make a strange herd but we do care and understand where were at...you will never find an amazing wonderful fun-loving group of people anywhere on the planet..

[Shelly Preston]

Meeting others can be a wonderful experience

The only thing you really need to do is follow a few golden rules first

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93981

[ronnie1951]

I live in the San Francisco bay area, well sort of, a bit out in the central valley. But I sit around the house just wishing I could go out. Or meet someone else to be friends with. There are a few places I have found that look great for meeting, but I just cant bring myself to do it. My wife has been visiting family for 2 weeks now, with just over a week to go. And some sort of fear has me a bit paralyzed to venture out......frustrating, I know I will regret it since my wife will be back soon.

[Pamella]

I enjoy the company of another CD,but it wasnt always this way. You have to get comfortable with yourself first and that takes time. dressing up at home and being able to do it a lot helps to get yourself ready to be ok with yourself.That first meeting with someone is so hard ,for me I invited her to my home where I felt comfortable. It takes time to get over the fear but the only way to get over it is to just do it. Its not as bad as it seems. Today I am willing to meet any CD and go to CD meetings to feel more comfortable.I am still not going out in public to a bar or nightclub all dressed up but am looking forward to that first time and do want to do that with someone else,not alone.
All I can say is enjoy yourself,its a fun and natural thing to just be who we are .
Huggs and Kisses To All
Pamella Green

[Stefanie_Adams]

Wow this is right on topic for where I am right Now! I want to share with someone in person who is like me' and I have made contact through a support group just North of me In De. one of the members emailed me at my request and we are trying to set a lunch date (In drab of course) and I am so scared to death.

I don't think it is anything other than just being scared. But I would hope that the person was more like me closer to the TS side of the specturm ( and I don't mean any disrespect to anyone :))

Having been in the closet for so many years and living my female life in cyber space for me anyway is alot easier than getting out the door which is something that I need to do. I don't know.
Hugs All
Stefanie