Are/Were you scared that you'd become homeless/prostitute?

[tgirlinva]

When surfing the net and sites like Craigslist, I am startled by my observation that many transitioned transsexuals have resorted to homelessness and prostitution. I am by no means judging them or looking down on them for I feel they are victims of an imperfect system. However, in considering whether to transition or not, I fear that I may one day be like them. How do I reject/leave a life of financial security to one that is insecure? Did you have the same fears and how did you overcome? I've addressed these issues to my therapist and she said that since I'm educated, etc. I don't have anything to worry about. But I can't help but be pessimistic. No I'm not coming up with excuses not to transition, but it's a concern of mine...

[AllieSF]

I am not considering transitioning and doubt if I ever will. However, I have seen what you have and have the same question. I think that when someone who has a solid career decides to transition they need to do several things over time. They include; planning the complete transition process with timing and milestones that need to be substantially met before moving on to the next step, working with a good therapist to help adjust and cope with expected and unexpected setbacks and mood swings, working with the current employer to transition at work and to legally define your work rights to ensure that you will have a good job during this difficult process and afterwards, and lastly taking it slowly to permit each step to run its course and to allow you to adapt as you transition. Primary for me is to have a good job that will last until you are fully transitioned and that permits you to prepare for a new job, if something happens. Many fall into the prostitution area because they don't have a regluar income that permits them to live with the basics, roof over the head, food, and funds for clothes and other needs.

[Chibi~Cthulhu]

myself this is one of my greatest fears. living off a student income doesn't help much either, it is however teaching me to stretch every possible dollar that i can manage. now if only i could afford therapy this month : /

[patddfan]

myself this is one of my greatest fears. living off a student income doesn't help much either, it is however teaching me to stretch every possible dollar that i can manage. now if only i could afford therapy this month : /
i too am a student. I'm surviving, but just barely!

[Chibi~Cthulhu]

same here. my main goal for now, is to finish my laser treatments for my face and chest. the rest of my body can wait, but at least with those done i can feel better about myself. after that (tomorrow i make my last payment) i can start saving to begin therapy again. after having taken oooo a 6(?) year break for joining the military, 4 years in and 2 year spent reconnecting with myself enough to be comfortable enough to consider transitioning again.

bit of advice for anyone that cares to listen, the military is BAD the brainwashing makes your head sqeeky clean but puts you Real deep in stealth. great way to get cash for school though.

[GypsyKaren]

Okay peeps, allow me to explain to you one of life's lessons, please pay attention and feel free to take notes.

There are two worlds out there: the Real World, and the Internet

I'll start with the Internet...
The Internet exists in the air around us, therefor, a great deal of what's posted is just that, air. Now then, there are several kinds of air, but a great deal of what's on the Internet is known as Hot Air, though there is a leaning by some in the scientific community towards reclassifying this as Bullshit.

Now then, on to the Real World...
Hey, guess what? Transitioning isn't easy! Here's another tip: nothing is easy! Do some lose their jobs? Yep, it can and does happen, did to me. Some of us lose a lot, some lose nothing, but I think all of us who have forged ahead will tell you that despite everything, we've gained a great deal in the end.

I don't claim to know everything, but I do know a lot of TS'ers, probably a lot more than you, and I don't know or have ever heard of anyone ending up living in a cardboard box or being "forced" to be a prostitute. Just speaking for myself here, but, oh, I don't know, I think I can find a damn frigging job somewhere instead of turning tricks in a mini skirt!

To sum up today's lesson: Don't confuse the Real World with the Internet...class dismissed!

Karen :star:

[AmandaM]

When I was young I wanted run away to San Francisco and explore my fem side. But, I didn't have any money, and I didn't want to end up a prostitute just to survive. Sometimes, I am envious of where I would be now if I took the chance, assuming it went well.

[Sharon]

The prospects most of us face when considering transitioning are frightening to say the least. Just look at how many people are in financial straits who aren't even dealing with this gender crap. It's scary out there!

However, saying that, I am completely convinced that my pride and determination will prevent me from having to resort to such extremes. There is always a way as long as we don't give up and lose hope. Transitioning has made things more difficult in some ways, but -- and just speaking for my own self here -- the alternative of continuing to live such an unhappy life in the guise of someone who I wasn't in my heart was a much worse fear.

[melissaK]

I don't know or have ever heard of anyone ending up living in a cardboard box or being "forced" to be a prostitute. Just speaking for myself here, but, oh, I don't know, I think I can find a damn frigging job somewhere instead of turning tricks in a mini skirt!


I too don't mean to be judgmental, but I agree with Karen that the TSs who have it together enough to plan, and pay for, a full SRS and transistion, don't seem to end up in a box turning tricks.

I am a fence sitter though and I do sometimes think about the economic consequences were I to give up my Clark Kent life and reveal my Superpowers. My Clark kent life pays well, and it would most likely pay a whole lot less were I to reveal my superpowers. But like the good book and Karen say, money isn't everything, and I know that if I can't stand being Clark kent - its big country and I'd like to think I could find a job somewhere and make some money somehow. And even if prostitution wasn't against my moral code, in the "real world" my age and looks aren't likely to allow that to be a realistic economic opportunity anyway. :o

hugs,
'lissa

PS And Karen, I am glad to know your avatar location "On the curb in a hefty bag" is just some of that internet hot air. :heehee:

[dreamz]

i thought of running away but after conseling i realized i'm just a crossdresser not a transsexual

[cd_britney_426]

I would say the economy is worrying just about everyone TS or not. Many of us are only a couple of paychecks away from madness. While I wouldn't believe everything you read on the internet, it is true that prostitution and homelessness are issues with TG people but this also exists in all categories as well. I would be willing to bet that most of us who had good upbringing and a history of decent jobs, law abiding behavior, and a good standing in our community are unlikely to slip into prostitution and homelessness. Believe it or not, you would be surprised, however, who can actually fall into these traps.

I am saddened to say that I do know a number of TG people personally who have been or are currently prostituting. I don't think it is a safe or healthy thing to do but I've noticed a pattern of problems. As a general rule, they usually come from very bad homes where their own parents were criminals or drug addicts and they either were kicked out or had to leave their homes at an early age. Without completing high school and no real upbringing on how to make it in the real world these girls found an easy way to make money. Unfortunately, the longer one does something the harder it is to break the cycle. I do believe in personal responsibility and if you truly want to get somewhere in life you will work hard and do the right things to get ahead. Unfortunately, there are a lot of youth out there who were born into a life of drugs, crime, and poverty and 20-30 years later that is still all they know. Britney

[melissaK]

. As a general rule, they usually come from very bad homes where their own parents were criminals or drug addicts and they either were kicked out or had to leave their homes at an early age.

Studies support Britneys observations. Yesterday the WPATH server list forwarded a link to a LGBT teen/young adult study that found:

Major Research Findings:


€ Higher rates of family rejection during adolescence were significantly
associated with poorer health outcomes for LGB young adults.


€ LGB young adults who reported higher levels of family rejection during
adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide,
5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more
likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to report having
engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse, compared with peers from families
that reported no or low levels of family rejection.


€ Latino males reported the highest number of negative family reactions to
their sexual orientation in adolescence.

a link: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/current.shtml (note: it is the last article in a long list, so keep scrolling down to find it)

So, I suppose that those of us who had ok lives through high school and who's gender issues worsened later with adulthood, can be thankful that it spared us the additional risks of family rejection at an earlier age.

hugs,
'lissa

[Suzy Harrison]

I was so frustrated at being a guy I got to the stage where I was prepared to loose my job, my home - everything. You eventually reach a stage where you can't hold back anymore.

I thought the first thing my employer would do is 'organise me out' of the company as a problem they could do without...

But just the opposite. They can't do enough to help and are giving me all the help and guidance they can - so things can work out.

[deja true]

This kind of idea, that there is no place to go but the gutter, has bothered me not all for decades. Secret, hidden, paranoid crossdresser that I was, I knew that my upbringing, my own moral code, my education would alow me to make a living somehow.

But in my early youth, age 10 through 13 or so, I was petrified that my crossdressing was gonna lead me to a path of a really strange and scary life. Who knew about tranny hookers in the 1950's, early 60's? But I did know about female impersonators who worked in those sleazy, smoky, creepy places in downtown Chicago. (I used to ride my bike for miles down there , just to get a quick glimpse of those big black and white pictures in the windows.) And, knowing nothing else, I just knew that if I kept this crazy thing up, that that was where I was gonna end up! Talk about being scared straight! This little altar boy was sure he was going to hell...

It made for a guilt ridden youth, but somehow that just didn't happen, did it?

:)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

karen's point is well taken.....however, i read some stats that indicated about 30% of the homeless teenagers in new york were LGBT....one friend of mine works in a shelter for t folks that is overrun with youngsters....hoods come by all the time to pick fights with the t-kids, and there is no doubt that some of them are turning tricks for cash. knowing somebody who is involved has given me a real appreciation for those less fortunate than me...

i came from a wonderful family...for years and years... i obsessed and worried to the point of thinking about killing myself to avoid "Screwing up" my family and "destroying" our good name....turns out, my wonderful family is wonderful...and they are all accepting what i'm doing (swallowing hard no doubt!!!), and telling me how much they love me and want me to be happy..

this blessing far outweighs the pain and suffereing of being tg and it really just took me to finally accept myself to get moving....

my point is that not everybody has a good family, not everybody has at least some financial security, many folks are abused in physical and emotional ways because they are different....for these folks i think we should all do everythign we can to keep them off the streets...

it's these folks that i'm worried about , and Karen's right.....don't blow your life !!! Make sure you know what you are getting into (as best you can)

I took my time and was VERY patient, and although i would have loved to transition 10 yrs ago and not be stuck as a brand new middle aged lady!!, i just wasnt ready financially or emotionally to do anything....

i know one girl, we had coffee and she went on and on about how she "burned all her male clothes" and about her hatred of men etc etc....she was mid 30's, no job, F the world attitude!!....she felt victimized by her ts nature and came from an alcoholic and broken home...she was utterly alone...i even gave her some money($40) to get some decent shoes (She was wearing clogs from a garbage dump).... i thought about her alot, and i've tried to email her with no response.....thats the kind of person i worry about because being tg is a huge burden for the best of us.....and if she has no family to rely on, i worry about what happened to her...i even asked her electroligist and he hasnt heard from her in 6 months~!!!!

so no, i'm not worried about myself, and i don't think any of us on these forums are at risk, but there are LOTS of us at risk and i especially hope over the years we can get these kids off the streets

[Chibi~Cthulhu]

the key difference is the support i think Michele. the girl you had coffee with didnt have any. and all of us here have some degree of it. each other if nothing else, without someone to vent on, or someone to confide in negative feelings just build up. if things get to bad for me i go for walks and talk to myself (quietly lol). i know talking to yourself is a touch frowned on :tongueout but it helps to organize my thoughts and emotions and sometimes i realize the most interesting thigns while on my walks. just wish it werent so cold these days, those walks are fewer during this kind of weather

[JennyTG24]

hello, im 24 yrs old and i have put myself in a lot of dept, to become what i am inside this shell of a body, i live day by day hating what i am seeing nothing when i look in the mirror. so i got loans, borrowed money of family and even considered prostituton just so i could stop feeling the pain and start living a happier life,

but now that im wiser and i have got my head back within its right place i do regret putting my self in this dept, it is really easy when you feel this way to become homeless and also turn to prostitution because you would do anything to stop the pain,