What is the next step?

[gwen cd]

Hi All.
I am Just a begginer at this.
I only dress in Basic underware when I am at home. My wife, bless her, she bought me my first outfit (a nice tight fitting Lingerie outfit with a A cup.) that I wear at night.
She also bought me basic makup, being a hair designer and make up artist would think she could teach me quite a lot.
I also have a halterneck short dress that I am fond of.

I have not yet put makeup on or gone to full dress mode as I have heard - A Bit scared to for now.
The lingerie and the dress are fine but i feel ready to go to the next step as I do feel there is somthing missing.

Could you lady's please sugest the next steps to take to being completly fully dressed as I would like to Introduce my wife to Gwen slowly as I am worried she might totaly freek if I go to fast. She is a little to helpfull and understanding which is out of her charcter (still thing she is busy processing the Idea that her husband that she knows for the last 8 years and is married to for the last 3 wants to dress and look like a woman. I am worried that I go to quick and she panics. I can see she is still a bit rattled about the Idea.

The next step is it: Makup, boobs, wig, shoes, more outfits....... I am so confused!

[Kathleen Grace]

Hi Gwen,

Definitely makeup is the easiest next step. Go to http://www.taaz.com/ and upload a photo of yourself. It's a fun and easy way to find out what makeup works best for you. Since your wife seems supportive invite her to do a makeover with you if you think it wouldn't upset her.

When you're done and if your willing, post them in the beauty club section. We will all be happy to give our makeup advice! ;) The clothing section is the place to go for tips on breast forms and all sorts of good advice.

Have fun! :)

:hugs:

Kathleen

[Alana65]

Hun,

It's normal to feel confused.......we all get those feelings now and again. Now to your question on what to do.........

By posting your message, you obviously care about your wife's feelings on this.....
IMHO, if you have reservations on how far/quickly you can comfortably progress with your dressing (around your wife)........just talk to her about what she is willing to accept, and keep the communication going. As others on here will tell you, communication is key. Good luck. :hugs:

[erickka]

The best advice that I can give you is to go with your gut. It will never lie to you. Only you know your circumstances, your wife, etc., so proceed with care and enjoy the ride.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

My Spouse and I looked at my Closet last night - she says: "Its full" Where are you going to wear all those clothes - Why do you need all those clothes"
Well I told her "I am a Crossdresser" - we girls can never have too many clothes - she didn't say anything after that
JoAnne Wheeler

[Kieron Andrew]

The next step is up to you, there is no rules, question should be what you want to do next?

[Wendy me]

oh my lol there is no rule book on what to do next .... look don't feel you need to do more than you want to ..... for some one thing dose it and some go to SRS.... you do what makes you comfy and pleases you....

[Kelly DeWinter]

Heels girl ! , the next step is in Heels !

[nikki47]

Hi Gwen,
You seem to have a wife that does understand you,after all she bought you your first outfit and a makeup kit.The next step is up to you there really are no rules.If you feel ready to go a little further,maybe when your alone,dress and use makeup and see how you feel about it,then further down the line after talking to your wife,if she agrees,introduce her to Gwen.

:hugs: Nikki

[ubokvt]

I highly recomend you discuss this in depth with your wife. It sounds like you have a great SO. Keep her involved, go at a pace that is good for you both. Both of you share your feelings about what works and what doesn't. If she will work with you and you can be open, she will help you more with your confusion and keep you grounded when the pink fog hits. It will give you some one to share the growth, feelings and experiences to come. Having some one to share it with, to be accepted as yourself, is better than passing. Think of it as taking up a hobby that will be part of the relationship.

[MsPriscilla]

I agree with Kelly, try some heels. If you're lucky and are the same size as your wife, well..........

If not, then off to Payless or whichever local shop can supply you with your size. And do enjoy trying them on in the shop; there is not much worse than ill fitting shoes. Start with a small heel, no more than 2" say,, then see how you get on with that. Soon you'll want 3" or more.

Good luck, and please keep us informed how things go.

[queenie]

It's just me, but I say ask your wife how she would like to take this moving forward. If your ultimate goal is to be fully dressed then let her know that. Let her make some suggestions on what to do next. If the limiting factor is her then shouldn't she be involved?

The big bonus is that since she's in the beauty industry, you'll probably look better than most when you finally do your first full appearance.

[StacyCD]

Since she bought you makeup and she is a makeup artist, I think the next step if for her to do your makeup!

[Petra Bellejambes]

I highly recomend you discuss this in depth with your wife. It sounds like you have a great SO. Keep her involved, go at a pace that is good for you both. Both of you share your feelings about what works and what doesn't. If she will work with you and you can be open, she will help you more with your confusion and keep you grounded when the pink fog hits. It will give you some one to share the growth, feelings and experiences to come. Having some one to share it with, to be accepted as yourself, is better than passing. Think of it as taking up a hobby that will be part of the relationship.

I just could not aggree with UBOKVT more. Body shaping, makeup, wardrobe, mannerisms, outings everything will come from how both of you share this. Talk first, long and hard. If (and only if) she knows how you feel and drives your desires will you be able to explore them fully, happily and honestly. IN fact, you still may not, but you have a much better chance.

Have you a local support group you can join? If so, I suspect it will help both of you....

Very good luck with this precious chance...

[Kimmie]

You are lucky that you have a so that is understanding of this. Pay close attention to her mood when discussing this and non verbal cues. Like a boat, take this as "steady as she goes."

[Carole Cross]

Hi Gwen, the first thing I did before going out was to get a professional makover and some photos. It is quite expensive but it will give you an idea of what you will look like when dressed and you could show the pictures to your wife, maybe. It may also give you the confidence to go out. I went out the next day as it was new years eve but it may take you a littlle longer, depending on how confident you feel or if you have the opportunity. Good luck. :love:

[Jenniferpl]

You have received some great advice from a bunch of great. The only thing I can add would be go slow and find your wife's comfort level. Her non-verbal responses will probably tell you more about what is going on than what she verbally telling you. Learn to read her body signals. Her actions will tell you a lot.

If all else fails, heels, heels and more high heels.

[tricia_uktv]

Yes, keep an open dialogue with your wife or you may lose her. Careful, it might run away with you Gwen. Have fun whatever

[kristinacd55]

My Spouse and I looked at my Closet last night - she says: "Its full" Where are you going to wear all those clothes - Why do you need all those clothes"
Well I told her "I am a Crossdresser" - we girls can never have too many clothes - she didn't say anything after that
JoAnne Wheeler

My wife said "you're getting quite a wardrobe" too. You'll see that it grows on you, and you'll develop in your own way. It's great your wife is supportive, that's a good first step

[gwen cd]

I bought HEELS yesterday Yay.
2 inch.
I went to the store and was lookin at the racks.
The S.A. asked if I needed help? so I thought well what the heck.
I told her what I was looking for!!!!
She took 2 steps back and with this shock look in her face said are they for you.
I replied and said Of corse why else would I be in a shoe shop looking at heels.
She smiled with the biggest smile I have ever seen, took me by the hand and the next 2 hours were magical trying on a mountain of everything you can think of and more.
A hug to say goodby and a see you soon was mutual.
I Think I have A new GG Friend.


Wow What a difference.
My wife even said I have great taste in clothes and that would it be ok if she borrowed them sometime.
Life in both worlds is just flippin great.

Any one like G - Strings?

[RachelDenise]

Gwen, I think it is important for you to carefully think about where you want all this to lead. And be very honest with yourself and especially your wife. She needs to be involved with all this otherwise there can be trouble ahead. Enjoy your life but know what it can mean.

[jillleanne]

You're confused? Hon, I have enough clothes, etc. to open a Macys and it still takess me an hour to decide on what to wear!! Best bet though is to lay out the articles you want to wear and start at the bottom and work your way up:

Shoes
nylons/pantyhose
Garterbelt/corsette/body suit/panties
bra/breastforms
hair
Makeup, perfume, jewelry/accesssories. Do your makeup before dressing or you may end up with powder all over the georgous white halter top.
skirt/top/dress,etc.
put those rings on LAST or you may just tear a hole in those $ 100.00 hose you just bought. Been there, done that.

Go get 'em!!

[Want to be Lisa]

Kathleen,

That TAAZ site is a lot of fun. I'll have to play with it some more and post my finished product here when I get it just right. Thanks.

[Kate Simmons]

The next "step" (if there is one) is totally up to you my friend. To be a unique individual, you need to go at your own pace and not concern yourself with what others do.:)

[eugeniahall41]

girl take what you have and run with sounds like you are off to a good start

[beenherelongtime]

you sort of have to find your own next step, myself, i would add lingerie, bra, panties, slip and see how she reacts to that.

[Laura Evans]

Wow What a difference.
My wife even said I have great taste in clothes and that would it be ok if she borrowed them sometime.
Life in both worlds is just flippin great.

Looking at your last statement it appears your wife may be more accecpting than you think. I agree with the comments made already about no rules for the next step and open discussions with the wife.:hugs:

[DonnaT]

Like a few others, I suggest talking it over with your wife. Seems to me, after she bought you a few things, she'd want to see how you look, but you'd have to ask her to be sure.

And since she's good with makeup, ask her to teach you, when she's ready.

[gwen cd]

I got dressed up from head to toe.
My wife dressed me and done my makeup.
She would not let me see until the end result.
I tell you I was blown the hell right off my heels.
I could not believe that I could look so good.
I had a rough inpression of what I would look like but nothimg prepared me for this.
She took a lot of photo's of me in the process and I would love to share them all with you.
I have not yet the courage to place them on the site, hopefuly soon.

Thank you all for the great advice and the tip's.

XXX Gwen.

[sarahNZ]

this may sound a bit off side with the rest of the thoughts, but have you given any thought as to ask your wife?

You could just ask in passing "honey how would you feel" (please note the key words HOW YOU FEEL) "about giving me some pointers with makeup"? Just make sure you listen to her responce (not just the words but also the body responce)

It has already been said to keep her involved but I honestly think that you should allow yourself to work at her pace. There is an old GG saying "it is so much easier to get him to do it when he thinks it is his idea". The GG plants a seed of an idea and we naturally think it was our idea all along, is it possable to do the same to a GG? Don't nag or order, just a seed of an idea that she can nurture untill she realises that it was her idea to teach you!

[Ralph]

Because I'm saddened to hear and read so many people saying "I'm going to have to..." or else "I feel inevitably drawn towards..."

As soon as I read Gwen's question, I had to respond and say "there is no next step"... but Katie took the wind out of my sails... I mean my skirts... by saying it all for me, and much better than I could have.

I can't emphasize enough, all CDs have different needs. Just because your next door neighbor goes the whole nine yards with the wigs and the forms and the makeup and singing "I'm a lumberjack" doesn't mean that's right for you; wearing a summer frock while you mow the back yard may be plenty to feed your urges. If taking a particular step makes you uncomfortable, then for the love of Coco Chanel don't go in that direction or feel obligated to do so.

That said, from your followup post it sounds like you had a great time taking it further and (far more important) so did your wife, so good on ya!