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View Full Version : I want a sex change really bad....



herricksux
06-14-2005, 01:06 PM
welll im young and 19 yrs old...i really want a sex change...i always feel that my body is disgusting.....i met with the doctors and i may do it....i will do it to the maximuim..hormones, rhinoplasty, hair, voice, breast, skin etc.....would u reccommend me to do it...if so what doctor is the best, and have any of you thought about it?

Rachel_740
06-14-2005, 01:53 PM
welll im young and 19 yrs old...i really want a sex change...i always feel that my body is disgusting.....i met with the doctors and i may do it....i will do it to the maximuim..hormones, rhinoplasty, hair, voice, breast, skin etc.....would u reccommend me to do it...if so what doctor is the best, and have any of you thought about it?

Hi Herricksux,

I see your new here so welcome to the forum and I hope you have a great time here.

This is not something to undertake on a whim!

I would strongly reccomend that you sit back and take a long hard look at yourself, your feelings (both for and against being both male and female), and your financial situation - what you have listed here is going to cost you an absolute fortune. You MUST be prepared to loose EVERYTHING if you do decide to transition, friends, family, SO (if you have one), job, car, home - EVERYTHING!

You don't say if you dress, how long you have been dressing (if you do), if you go out in the big wide world, if you live with your parents or have you got your own place, have you come out to anyone, what country you're in - if you're in the States, it's not good people giving you details of Drs here in the UK etc.

Can you give us some more details of yourself and your situation.

There are a lot of threads in the forum giving advice on this sort of thing. Just have a look around and you will find loads of advice.

Looking forward to seeing some more information,

Anne

Julie
06-14-2005, 02:09 PM
There's lots of information on the internet about transsexual issues. Anne Lawrence (http://www.annelawrence.com) has a great site. Transgendercare (http://www.transgendercare.com/) is pretty informative. Transsexuality (http://transsexual.org/) is good also and is the site with the COGIATI Test (http://transsexual.org/TEST0.html), a test that supposedly determines your inclinations toward gender identity.

You can do what I did and Google it and you'll have more than you can read in a lifetime.

Here's some more:

Transsexual Transition (http://www.transsexualtransition.com/index.html)
Transsexual Road Map (http://www.tsroadmap.com/)
In Broad Daylight (http://www.inbroaddaylight.net/home.htm)
International Foundation for Gender Education (http://www.transgender.org/tg/ifge/index.html)
Feminine Facial Surgery (http://www.laurence.vlaamsegenderkring.be/ffs.htm)
From these you can find more links to other sites and get all the information you are looking for.

Just remember, none of these sources will tell you if you are truly transsexual and no person should be telling you that either. You need to become as educated on the subject as you possibly can. You will also need to enter into therapy as required by The Standards of Care (http://www.tc.umn.edu/~colem001/hbigda/hstndrd.htm). Read it! Any legitimate doctor follows this. It will outline exactly what you should expect to experience if you want to fully transition.

Also, read the book "True Selves" by Mildred Brown. This will help you immensely in determining where you fall on the spectrum. You have to be the one who tells yourself you need to do this and this book can help with that.

Since you're only 19 you are at a great age to transition and live a pretty much normal female life. The later in life you transition, the less effect the hormones will have on you and the more procedures you'll need to have done to feminize your body.

Just so you know, this isn't cheap! Hormones are the cheapest of all the avenues you will take. After that you will be looking at hair removal, FFS (feminine facial surgery) and GRS (gender reassignment surgery). Depending on what you need to have done it could run you $100,000 or more. Since you're young you may not require all the procedures but FFS is now seen by most transsexuals as a necessity if you want to pass and that could be the most expensive of all, not to mention the most painful!

Good luck! Do your homework! Read, read and read some more! You'll be glad you did. I hope this helps.

herricksux
06-14-2005, 04:03 PM
Hi Herricksux,

I see your new here so welcome to the forum and I hope you have a great time here.

This is not something to undertake on a whim!

I would strongly reccomend that you sit back and take a long hard look at yourself, your feelings (both for and against being both male and female), and your financial situation - what you have listed here is going to cost you an absolute fortune. You MUST be prepared to loose EVERYTHING if you do decide to transition, friends, family, SO (if you have one), job, car, home - EVERYTHING!

You don't say if you dress, how long you have been dressing (if you do), if you go out in the big wide world, if you live with your parents or have you got your own place, have you come out to anyone, what country you're in - if you're in the States, it's not good people giving you details of Drs here in the UK etc.

Can you give us some more details of yourself and your situation.

There are a lot of threads in the forum giving advice on this sort of thing. Just have a look around and you will find loads of advice.

Looking forward to seeing some more information,

Anne

well im still in college and i live i the us....my families income is average, thankfully. though i know that it will cost a fortune im still very motivated. i had these feelings since i was little and couldn't control them no matter what. i loved dressing since 5 yrs old and still do in private. though im attracted to woman i still want to be a woman...what's interesting is that my mom went to some spirtual place when she was pregnant and wished for a boy even though the doctor did the test results and claimed it to be a woman....when i was born the doctor was shocked and so was the family when the doctor said it tested to be female...he relooked at the blood and DNA samples and it tested female again....

herricksux
06-14-2005, 05:15 PM
my results....

The
COMBINED GENDER IDENTITY AND TRANSSEXUALITY INVENTORY
( COGIATI )

RESULTS

Your COGIATI result value is: 130 Which means that you fall within the following category:

COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSSEXUAL
What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially feminine, but with some masculine or androgynous traits. It is very possible that you are a candidate for a diagnosis of transsexualism. You show a strong degree of gender dysphoria. At the very least, further investigation should be undertaken. Your COGIATI score places you among the majority of those diagnosed as transsexuals, the 'late onset' tanssexual.

SUGGESTIONS FOR ACTION:
Your situation is potentially serious and indicative of a probable inborn gender conflict. It is definitely recommended that you pursue further action.
The suggestions for your circumstance are several.
1. It is recommended that you seek help from a sympathetic counselor or professional about your gender issues. It is very possible that over time they will become increasingly difficult to cope with. Early determination of what you really need and want is vital. You need to determine if you truly are transsexual. Keep in mind, thought, that many alternatives exist other than complete sexual transformation. Partial transformation and many other way of existing are available. While you are very possibly a transsexual, COGIATI has determined that this is not absolutely certain. While time is an issue, being certain is more important. Proceed with investigation of your possible transsexuality or transgenderism, but with caution.
2. Some actions may help you to define your needs more clearly. Experimenting with living full time as a woman, taking hormones for a short time under supervision, or taking testosterone suppressers to observe how you feel are all viable options. Keep in mind that while it is very likely that you might be a transsexual, it is not certain. Do not take severe or permanent actions without long thought and the help of counselors and professionals.
3. Your gender issues are real, and should not be ignored. Neither should you rush into acting on them, however powerful they may feel. You do not fit the full criterion for the rarest classification, classic transsexuality, and so should be cautious, and open to possibilities. You may yet end up undergoing transition, and the path of the transsexual may well be your salvation. Be very careful, but do not ignore your issues.
4. If you have not already, consider joining any of the thousands of groups devoted to gender expression of various kinds. There is literally a world of friends to discover who share your interests. There are also publications, vacations, and activities that would expand your gender expression.



Thank you for using the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory.

orchard
06-15-2005, 12:04 AM
sweetie,
firstly, lots of love.
if you can , talk with your folks, if you have not already.
be calm, you have time to figure things out, and some prof. help is your only window into transition, so you may as well seek it out.

love
orchard

Julie
06-15-2005, 01:46 AM
Herrick,

The first time I took the test I scored in the mid 300's. When I saw the results I cried. I think partly because I knew what it meant, I needed to do something that would be more painful than all the surgeries combined, tell my family and friends. I did nothing for over a year. Then I went to a TG convention and knew I could no longer supress my desire to dress. My wife flipped out, my son found out and freaked and before I knew it everyone knew a secret I kept hidden for over 50 years. I was devastated.

I didn't know what I wanted to do with all the roads I could take. I knew if someone had a magic pill that would turn me into a woman and it wouldn't change any of my relationships, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I've always felt that way. But to have to go the only route available to us was pure hell to me.

I just took the test again tonight and scored 435. And I was totally honest. The difference I figured is that I'm no longer apprehensive about being affectionate with men. I don't mean in a sexual or romantic way, I mean sort of like giving your brother a hug or your dad a hug and kiss on the cheek. It's just a sign of caring. That's what changed the most for me. It doesn't bother me anymore. I attribute that to meeting so many gay men who know I'm straight but love me just the same (again not sexually or romantically). They taught me how to open up and I appreciate that.

So what am I going to do with that score? Nothing! No online test can tell you that you're a TS, TG or CD. Only you can say that. No therapist, no friends, no parents no professionals can say that for you. You are the only one. Keep that in mind the next time someone is trying to sway you one way or the other. This is your life and it's up to you to take control.

I will most likely live out the rest of my life as male. There are times I get so down thinking that but I keep hearing my daughter saying, "If you become a woman, who will walk me down the aisle?" I'm so close to her I could never let her down. She's been the only one who hasn't fled my life. She's my baby and I will be there for her. That's what keeps me going.

I know you don't have these issues. So you are in a better place. Take advantage of that and find all you can to help you learn about the whys and hows and whats of what makes you you. I can't stress enough the importance of educating yourself. Feel fortunate you have the resources that weren't available when I was your age. Take advantage of that.

herricksux
06-15-2005, 12:01 PM
Herrick,

The first time I took the test I scored in the mid 300's. When I saw the results I cried. I think partly because I knew what it meant, I needed to do something that would be more painful than all the surgeries combined, tell my family and friends. I did nothing for over a year. Then I went to a TG convention and knew I could no longer supress my desire to dress. My wife flipped out, my son found out and freaked and before I knew it everyone knew a secret I kept hidden for over 50 years. I was devastated.

I didn't know what I wanted to do with all the roads I could take. I knew if someone had a magic pill that would turn me into a woman and it wouldn't change any of my relationships, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I've always felt that way. But to have to go the only route available to us was pure hell to me.

I just took the test again tonight and scored 435. And I was totally honest. The difference I figured is that I'm no longer apprehensive about being affectionate with men. I don't mean in a sexual or romantic way, I mean sort of like giving your brother a hug or your dad a hug and kiss on the cheek. It's just a sign of caring. That's what changed the most for me. It doesn't bother me anymore. I attribute that to meeting so many gay men who know I'm straight but love me just the same (again not sexually or romantically). They taught me how to open up and I appreciate that.

So what am I going to do with that score? Nothing! No online test can tell you that you're a TS, TG or CD. Only you can say that. No therapist, no friends, no parents no professionals can say that for you. You are the only one. Keep that in mind the next time someone is trying to sway you one way or the other. This is your life and it's up to you to take control.

I will most likely live out the rest of my life as male. There are times I get so down thinking that but I keep hearing my daughter saying, "If you become a woman, who will walk me down the aisle?" I'm so close to her I could never let her down. She's been the only one who hasn't fled my life. She's my baby and I will be there for her. That's what keeps me going.

I know you don't have these issues. So you are in a better place. Take advantage of that and find all you can to help you learn about the whys and hows and whats of what makes you you. I can't stress enough the importance of educating yourself. Feel fortunate you have the resources that weren't available when I was your age. Take advantage of that.

thanks a lot for the advice..it really helped...

DonnaT
06-15-2005, 06:50 PM
You should be able to find a therapist, if you haven't already, at http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html

emmicd
06-24-2005, 12:07 AM
Thanks for suggesting the COGIATI test. I just took it and scored a 20. This is what I suspected. I am transgendered to a small degree not as serious as a transsexual. I am comfortable as a male but I love dressing up in beautiful feminine clothes and integrating this cross dressing into my life. I do enjoy expressing my femme side and do love to cross dress. I wish I could do it more often. The suggestions of the test results is that I join a group that will be supportive of cross dresser needs and allow the freedom of feminine expression.

I am also very happy I found this website. All you girls are tremendous and truly sincere.

Thanks

Emmi

emmicd
07-09-2005, 12:47 AM
Herrick,

This is an issue that is very difficult to grapple with! You need to start in counseling and discuss you feelings truthfully with an expert who deals with people with gender dysphoria. It is not something you jump into. It is a process that requires a lot of serious introspection and being truthful to yourself.

You should speak to someone you trust and have a mature discussion about it!

There are others who feel as you do so maybe you should also try to find a support group for transgendered individuals so you can open up and talk with others who are in similar situation. You're young so you have time on your side and you need to experience your life and let things happen naturally. You're probabaly deciding on your career and important issues in addition to your education.

I wish you well and hope you make the right choices!

Emmi