Need a little help

[DaJe]

I guess first off, to know a little more about me, here's my introduction thread http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98365



Here's what I'm trying to do. I'm young, and I'm trying to figure myself out. I don't see myself as a crossdresser, but rather I just want to regularly wear the clothes that fit the real me. I've been trying to make my appearence more feminine and girly. But with a whole 19 years of life of being treated like a boy, I don't know how to even start.


You can argue that I want the same thing as you, I just see it differently, but it doesn't matter. I'm only saying that because I was worried that this place wouldn't suit me. I am looking for the help of the people here though.


Okay, so I've been wanting to (and trying somewhat) to make myself girly for a while now. I have no idea how to create the right appearance though. My hair has been growing out for a bit, and I think I've got that mostly settled for now. There's quite a bit I'm trying to do though, but I'll have to just take it all slowly. I want to start wearing a little bit of makeup, paint my nails, grow my hair longer, and start wearing the right clothes. My nails, I think I can get down easy enough. Makeup however, I don't know how to do. I'll get to that later though.


First off, the clothes. Like, I sort of know the whole style I want to go for, but can't really picture it well enough. I jsut don't even know where to begin. I guess I can pick out jeans and whatnot well enough, but that's probably about it.

Anyone want to step in and help with some direction?

[martha mars]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: you well do all right makeup take time the more you do it the better it well get the color or colors match your skin cloths that is what ever you like you well make it happen (good luck):hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Kathi Lake]

I'm glad in your post that you mentioned that you wanted to take it slow, because that's just the advice I was going to offer anyway.

Remember, "real" girls of 19 have had 19 years of learning to act like a girl. I'm not suggesting that it will take you that long as well, just know that it will indeed take time.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! I am on a two-week trip. I took my makeup kit with me and have been practicing about every night. Tonight I concentrated on my eyes and I was very happy with the results. You will get there as well.

Now for the other aspect. It sounds to me like you are wondering about just where you fin into the spectrum here - and I assure you it is a spectrum! We have members that like those who dress up. We have members who like to dress up - from a little to a lot. We have members who have modified their bodies to more closely match their minds. We have genetic girls (lovingly nicknamed GGs) who are either significant others of members here, or just interested in people like us.

Basically, we have all kinds of wonderful people here - some who have stories just like you. We're a great bunch. We're more than happy to help you. As Radio Shack used to say, "You've got questions, we've got answers." Our answers, however, come with love.

Kathi

[Tamara Croft]

Daje, welcome to the forum :) As a 18-25 aged member, you might be interested in joining a section here that is private and full of many girls/guys the same age as you. Just go to your usercp, click group memberships and apply. If you're still stuck how to join, just drop me a PM and I will help you out :)

[DaJe]

I actually JUST applied for it after your post reminded me of it :)

[Tamara Croft]

And I've just approved it, so go say hi in there :D

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Crossdressing covers a very wide spectrum - we are all different and yet we are all the same - we have different levels to satisfy us - we have different needs - yet we are all crossdressers.
JoAnne Wheeler

[tricia_uktv]

Hi DaJe.

What's at the end of the rainbow? I think you need to know to that before you start. It may take a while but good luck and have fun. There is no point in worrying about it.

[cindym5_04]

Tricia, you're not going to break out into singing "The Rainbow Connection" like Kermit the Frog are you (because that's exactly what popped into my head just now after your post!)?


DaJe- First, welcome to the club. Take your time and figure out what you want. Don't rush things, because there is a lot to find on this path to discovery. With make-up, practice practice practice!! Remember even gg's don't always get it right! (trust me...this one woman I was with this time...oh that's a whole other story...hahaha)...

For clothes, if there is a certain look that you like, go for it! Print stuff out from the internet, or clip stuff from magazines and take them with you when you go shopping. It might help.

For nails, there's always growing out your own and doing your nails on your own, or going and getting them done. My wife has had great experiences with the gel overlays. If I was trying to be more girly or be out-and-about more, I'd go get my nails done. Get a pedicure while you're there, too...those are amazing and so relaxing!

For hair, although you've started growing it out, look around and find a hairstylist and tell her what you're thinking of doing. I'm sure she'll be able to work a great style for you.

Oh yeah.... do you still live at home or are you on your own?

[DaJe]

For the hair, I've seen a stylist twice now, who has a general idea of what I want, and seems to get it better each time. While it's growing out, I've been having it fixed up occasionally. She's been razoring it, to give it textures and layers.


For clothes, I just don't have much money or time to go shopping. I mean, I need to do that, because it's so much easier to see the clothing in person. But I still kind of want to get an idea of what I want to be looking for first as well.


I still live with my parents (may change by the end of the middle of this year), and my mom understands what I want to do, and accepts it all, but just wants me to go slow. Partly for her too. Even though she just wants me to be happy, she still has to get a little adjusted to it. She's becoming more understanding that I sort of feel like a girl, and want to slowly make myself that.


I reeeally need to go sleep for a bit now. Been too many days of no sleep at all >_>

[DaJe]

Crossdressing covers a very wide spectrum - we are all different and yet we are all the same - we have different levels to satisfy us - we have different needs - yet we are all crossdressers.
JoAnne Wheeler

I know. But what I see is a lot of like, middle-aged men wearing too much makeup, and just the friliest girliest things occasionally, just because it's a female thing, and they sometimes do it for pleasure. Not to be mean, but that's just the image I keep seeing of a lot of people.


For me, I just want to be a regular girl like I feel I am.


And blah blah we all feel like being whatever. I don't even know why I got into it. I don't feel like talking about it anymore.


It's just that like, I don't know how ot word how I feel, and I just have my own image of everything, and I guess my own definitions.

[Danni Kay]

First of all, you're very lucky to have an accepting mom! Your best bet is probably to enlist the help of an understanding female in your life. Do any female friends of yours know about your girly self yet? They could be a big asset to you, for emotional support, and also to help you buy the things you'll need for your new look; clothes, make-up, accessories, etc.

OK, so you want to be more girly? That's not too hard. If money is limited, go to thrift stores at first for your clothes. You can often find some good buys and can find out your sizes. You could have a female friend (GG) help you out with buying and applying your make-up. Or you could go to the make-up counter at a department story and have one of the SA's help you out (they'll expect you to buy something for this). I know that BeautyFirst salons will do a one hour makeup lesson with you (in private) for $50.

You could start gradually, paint your nails with clear polish and then move into lighter colors before trying something bolder. Since it's winter, why not paint your toenails a nice pink or red color all the time? You could do the same with lipstick, get used to wearing lip gloss first before moving on to a color. I wore just foundation, powder, and eyeliner for a long time before I felt brave enough to wear lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara, and more noticeable makeup.

If you haven't already, you could get your ears pierced and get some women's-style earrings. Put some highlights in your hair. Pluck, or wax back your eyebrows a bit next time you get a hair cut. You could also get a purse (try a thrift store again) and practice carrying it with you all the time.

I thing I do to see what type of fashions I want to wear is to observe the women around me at work, the mall, etc. See what they are wearing and how they do their make-up. I look at the way they walk and move, and try to emulate it. I also listen to the way women speak when they talk, to try to emulate it and sound more feminine.

Just try a few new things each week, and by next New Year's you'll be on the way to having the new look you desire!

[Saika]

I'm new here and am finding that by reading more and more posts I am getting some really usefull tips and ideas. I'm taking things slowly for myself as i consume information :)

I agree with Danni Kay, some really good solid advise there ;)

[jillleanne]

Daje, there are some subtle things you can do that will remind you of who you are, if you will. Your finger nails is a good place to start. Shape them and let they grow a bit. You can work on cuticles regularly and redefining the nailss daily. Another thing you can do is shape and pluck your eyebrows. Everytime you look in a mirror you will see the true you in your well shaped eyebrows Your nails will be in front of you constantly. Don't forget the toenails also, they are just as important. I wear a toe ring and no one has ever commented on it. My ears are pierced and I wear studs as well and no negative comments there either. Hugs, Jill