JODINYCTV
01-24-2009, 04:38 PM
I have long considered my femme self to be a fairly liberated girl, a gal who knows what she wants, and controls her needs. And I’ve believed I was in control of my femme self. I’m a TV who has no problem being the other me and is not ashamed of it or uncomfortable with my strong femme side.
But there is a problem with being Jodi that I’ve generally ignored at my own peril. It is how she often demands so much of my time, to the extent that even when I know there are much more important affairs I have to attend to, Jodi’s need to have affairs gets in the way and the result of not doing things I had to has on occasion been near disastrous.
I have long considered my femme self to be a fairly liberated girl, a gal who knows what she wants, and controls her needs. And I’ve believed I was in control of my femme self. I’m a TV who has no problem being the other me and is not ashamed of it or uncomfortable with my strong femme side.
But there is a problem with being Jodi that I’ve generally ignored at my own peril. It is how she often demands so much of my time, to the extent that even when I know there are much more important affairs I have to attend to, Jodi’s need to have affairs gets in the way and the result of not doing things I had to has on occasion been near disastrous.
Oh there are times I've put my femme self on the shelf, and gotten onto more important things (yes girls, quite often there surely are). But that does not last long as my need/compulsion if you wish; to express my girl side is so innate and strong. It usually can be put on hold as required, but sometimes it cannot, it takes over and I lack any desire to not allow that to happen.
The price for 'controlling' my girl time is that once Jodi gets out and about again, my femme side can prove rather insatiable, and I start putting off or ignoring other things I should attend to, to unleash Jodi. I find it hard to control her pull, luxuriating in the grand transformation that is so liberating and essential to me.
Reigning in my femme self, and keeping her from being a sub TV that doms my life is not easy. That bitch within me drives a hard bargain, and she demands to be given her due, often at inappropriate times in my life. Apportioning my femme time is the wise thing to do, yet I prove to be wholly stupid and fail to do so.
For example, faced with taking care of required paperwork, home repairs or other social obligations, more often than not, it is the need to be Jodi that wins out. If she wants out, that petulant child wins! And that is often detrimental to my life, although that downside of being Jodi is usually at least adequately compensated for by the fun I have as Jodi, the satisfaction she brings!
Yes mine is an urge that certainly needs to be controlled. Yet I fail to way too much of the time. Although logic and common sense dictate limiting my quality time as a girl, the overwhelming imperative to be she invariably wins out and other aspects of my life suffer for it.
And that is a failing I have generally been loathe to adequately address and solve, in my 30 plus years of relishing and expressing the 'other' me.
I know the answer, yes I know I must eat the broccoli before the ice cream in life, so to speak, but damnit, the unmitigated joy and release Jodi brings often trumps that logic.
Indeed it makes me question whether in part, I truly do have an addiction... as many have described dressing.
Mine it would seem is an addiction to being Jodi that makes me an addict to a craving I am often barely in control of. My narcotic of choice leaves me to often make the wrong choices, especially the choice of how to spend my time. Important chores are dismissed or procrastination triumphs, just to sate my craving for girl time.
I'm sure I am not alone in this regard and wonder how other gals such as I, who are but part time girls, cope with rationing out their femme time so as to not upset the reality cart that is full of other commitments that must be met, yet often get ignored in favor of girl time.
Yeah, I have much to do this weekend. But doing my nails, getting my body fully smooth, and heading out into the bright lights of the city are likely to consume most of the day.
This week has been otherwise rather stressful, indeed very stressful and Jodi is not just a pleasant, indeed essential diversion that allows my femme self to be free, but it is also my greatest and favorite form of stress relief.
When Jodi calls, my answering machine is definitely off, yes I'm picking up and then heading out (and maybe getting picked up!).
Girl time is safe and fun when used as directed, and not overused. I know this but all too often choose to ignore limiting my Jodi time when it is prudent for me to do so. What to do? Beats the s@#t out of me!
Will power you say? It invariably loses out to Jodi power!
http://profiles.aim.com/JodiNYCTV.
But there is a problem with being Jodi that I’ve generally ignored at my own peril. It is how she often demands so much of my time, to the extent that even when I know there are much more important affairs I have to attend to, Jodi’s need to have affairs gets in the way and the result of not doing things I had to has on occasion been near disastrous.
I have long considered my femme self to be a fairly liberated girl, a gal who knows what she wants, and controls her needs. And I’ve believed I was in control of my femme self. I’m a TV who has no problem being the other me and is not ashamed of it or uncomfortable with my strong femme side.
But there is a problem with being Jodi that I’ve generally ignored at my own peril. It is how she often demands so much of my time, to the extent that even when I know there are much more important affairs I have to attend to, Jodi’s need to have affairs gets in the way and the result of not doing things I had to has on occasion been near disastrous.
Oh there are times I've put my femme self on the shelf, and gotten onto more important things (yes girls, quite often there surely are). But that does not last long as my need/compulsion if you wish; to express my girl side is so innate and strong. It usually can be put on hold as required, but sometimes it cannot, it takes over and I lack any desire to not allow that to happen.
The price for 'controlling' my girl time is that once Jodi gets out and about again, my femme side can prove rather insatiable, and I start putting off or ignoring other things I should attend to, to unleash Jodi. I find it hard to control her pull, luxuriating in the grand transformation that is so liberating and essential to me.
Reigning in my femme self, and keeping her from being a sub TV that doms my life is not easy. That bitch within me drives a hard bargain, and she demands to be given her due, often at inappropriate times in my life. Apportioning my femme time is the wise thing to do, yet I prove to be wholly stupid and fail to do so.
For example, faced with taking care of required paperwork, home repairs or other social obligations, more often than not, it is the need to be Jodi that wins out. If she wants out, that petulant child wins! And that is often detrimental to my life, although that downside of being Jodi is usually at least adequately compensated for by the fun I have as Jodi, the satisfaction she brings!
Yes mine is an urge that certainly needs to be controlled. Yet I fail to way too much of the time. Although logic and common sense dictate limiting my quality time as a girl, the overwhelming imperative to be she invariably wins out and other aspects of my life suffer for it.
And that is a failing I have generally been loathe to adequately address and solve, in my 30 plus years of relishing and expressing the 'other' me.
I know the answer, yes I know I must eat the broccoli before the ice cream in life, so to speak, but damnit, the unmitigated joy and release Jodi brings often trumps that logic.
Indeed it makes me question whether in part, I truly do have an addiction... as many have described dressing.
Mine it would seem is an addiction to being Jodi that makes me an addict to a craving I am often barely in control of. My narcotic of choice leaves me to often make the wrong choices, especially the choice of how to spend my time. Important chores are dismissed or procrastination triumphs, just to sate my craving for girl time.
I'm sure I am not alone in this regard and wonder how other gals such as I, who are but part time girls, cope with rationing out their femme time so as to not upset the reality cart that is full of other commitments that must be met, yet often get ignored in favor of girl time.
Yeah, I have much to do this weekend. But doing my nails, getting my body fully smooth, and heading out into the bright lights of the city are likely to consume most of the day.
This week has been otherwise rather stressful, indeed very stressful and Jodi is not just a pleasant, indeed essential diversion that allows my femme self to be free, but it is also my greatest and favorite form of stress relief.
When Jodi calls, my answering machine is definitely off, yes I'm picking up and then heading out (and maybe getting picked up!).
Girl time is safe and fun when used as directed, and not overused. I know this but all too often choose to ignore limiting my Jodi time when it is prudent for me to do so. What to do? Beats the s@#t out of me!
Will power you say? It invariably loses out to Jodi power!
http://profiles.aim.com/JodiNYCTV.