Unconditional Love

[Teri Jean]

Recently a sister of ours told me about her wife and how she is dieing of cancer. Having lost my wife to an accident a little over a year ago I know what she's dealing with, to a point. This is not about me or her but about those who have wives that may not approve of you life style. We hear about the witch that doesn't approve or condems our dressing but there is something more to think about.

They might not understand the need to dress or like it but what would you do or how would you feel if that person wasn't there tomorrow? How would they feel if you didn't come home from work? I know from my experiances that even though my marriage was not always the best and we had our problems I would give everything to have her back. Hindsight is 20-20 and sometimes we get into a pink fog with our dressing but when the fog clears we need to be able to see the woman or man we married or chose to live with.

No condemnations but a little insight. My challenge to everyone is; in the near future set a date with your SO just as you did when you first dated. Pick her up at a predetermined time, if there are children you make all the arrangements so she can get ready without distractions. Then take her out to the place she always wanted to go but you have not been to. Treat her like this date is not about you but about her and make her feel special. Please no fast food places either. When the evening is over and you arrive home let her know how much she means to you. take care of the sitter if you have kids at home and then retire for the night.

I did not do this (enough) and wish I could regardless of support of my dressing. Betty I still love you and will forever.
:hugs::love:Keli

[Sara Jessica]

My heart goes out to anyone who suffers loss such as what you describe, particularly when it is so untimely. It makes your advice that much more thoughtful and sweet. It shouldn't take a reminder for any of us with SO's to do so but I just might have to set up a date night next weekend.

[Teri Jean]

Thank you Sara, we should not need a reminder but sadly we do, me included. Huggs Keli
PS: Have fun on your date.

[onowic]

My SO was sick yesterday morning, so I got up with both kids (3 and 1), cleaned the house, did the dishes, the laundry, fed and entertained the kids and made her soup for lunch. She was finally able to get out of bed and feeling better around 2pm. Then I called my mother, got her to take both kids for the evening, and we went out to a nice dinner and a movie which we haven't done in a long time.

It was all spur of the moment and spontaneous but well worth it.

[docrobbysherry]

It seems to be human nature to look back and have regrets! I don't believe any other living things do that.
I believe u r rite, Keli. We should ALL appreciate what, and who, we have rite now. If we did, the world would be a MUCH more pleasant place to live!

UNFORTUNATELY, THAT doesn't seem to be human nature!:sad:

I can remember just ONE instance of "unconditional love", in my life. I got it from the puppy I had growing up! I don't think many humans r capable of it! I know I'm not!

[Lorileah]

Keli :hugs:

(just a brief break from my self imposed posting hiatus)

[Mitzi]

Keli, your post touched me.

No, I haven't lost my wife. In fact we're still together after over 50 often dysfunctional years, but just the thought of losing her makes me tear up... Luckily, she's very heathy and most likely will outlive me...

Mitzi

[Debutante]

No condemnations but a little insight. My challenge to everyone is; in the near future set a date with your SO just as you did when you first dated. Pick her up at a predetermined time, if there are children you make all the arrangements so she can get ready without distractions. Then take her out to the place she always wanted to go but you have not been to. Treat her like this date is not about you but about her and make her feel special. Please no fast food places either. When the evening is over and you arrive home let her know how much she means to you. take care of the sitter if you have kids at home and then retire for the night.

I did not do this (enough) and wish I could regardless of support of my dressing. Betty I still love you and will forever.
:hugs::love:Keli

How wonderful Keli!
I look to my wife that way: I see the Goddess in her, and must remind myself how wonderful she is as a woman, how loving and supportive to me and our household... I at least give her sweet kisses several times a day... but I know I must do more...

[sissystephanie]

Keli,

While mere words will never fully express the right thing, I am so sorry for your loss!:hugs: Having lost my beloved, and totally supportive, wife to cancer just under 4 years ago, I know full well what you and our unnamed sister are going thru. I still miss her, and always will!!:sad:

I absolutely support your idea of always showing your love. Even if the wife is not supportive! She married you as a man, and that is what you should always be to her, unless she does know and supports your CD activities. I had told my wife before were married, and we had 49+ wonderful years together. She was fully supportive, to the point of fixing my wig and makeup so we could out together as two girls.

[Angie G]

First I'm sorry for your loss. And you post is 100% on target Keli Pay mind to the little things they mean a lot. :hugs:
Angie

[Alice B]

My wife and I are both on the other side of mid 60"s and have been together for almost 20 years after previous failed marriages. We have been through the cancer bit and survived. We have a date night every week and look forward to it. It does not have to be overboard, just time together to do what we enjoy together. Valuable time that every marriage should make time for.:):):)

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Keli - my heart goes out to you - my Spouse knows about JoAnne - if something happened to me JoAnne's things would not be a shoke - this is another reason to tell your Spouse

If you need us, write

JoAnne Wheeler

[donnasweetheart]

You are so right, even if you can't go out you can do other little things. Sometimes the little things mean more than the big things. Like meeting her at the door and being glad to see her after a hard night at work. Bringing her a single rose just because you were thinking about her. As you stop for gas buy her her favorite candy bar because you were thinking about her. Let her know that you love her and think about her even in the everyday humdrum of life. Do sometime unselfish just for her. You may be surprised how good it feels and you will get it back in 10 folds.