BF on Craigslist's CE

[tgirlinva]

Don't know if I'm posting in the right section or not. I wrote a thread before about my BF's porn viewing... and after I talked to him, he said that it was a "man" thing, which was confirmed by other men. I've made my peace that men watch porn. But what am I to make of his perusing on Craigslist's casual encounters section? Is it another form of porn? or do you think he's looking to cheat? I'm contending to post a fake ad and see if he'd answer. What do you think? I believe in the whole trust thing and came to his place to surprise him and while checking my email, I saw he went on Craigslist.... that was next to his porn surfing, so i'm thinking that it's part of it... would it be a breach of trust? what would you do?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

wow you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend????

[tgirlinva]

wow you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend????

Focus! :) I have a bf and an EX-gf. I'm a huge advocate of monogamy. Besides I hardly have time to handle one significant other, much less two.

[StaceyJane]

If you don't like his porn viewing then let him know. The "it's a man thing" is a lame excuse. The Craigslist thing should tell you all you need to know about him. The fact is while most men have seen some porn most men don't watch it regularly.
My ex son-in-law once ran up 500 dollars in cable charges watching pay-per-view porn. Notice the word "ex".

[tgirlinva]

If you don't like his porn viewing then let him know. The "it's a man thing" is a lame excuse. The Craigslist thing should tell you all you need to know about him. The fact is while most men have seen some porn most men don't watch it regularly.
My ex son-in-law once ran up 500 dollars in cable charges watching pay-per-view porn. Notice the word "ex".

I am not worried about the actual porn. Believe me, it's a man thing. Men are visual and I've made my peace with it. After all, what are the chances of him leaving me for one of those porn stars? I'm more worried about the craigslist thing. though He only looked at ads with pictures.... hmmm.

[StaceyJane]

I guess I'm stuck with a girl brain. :) I really don't get turned on by porn as much as reading sexy stories.
Anyway if your BF is looking for a CE then that does sound like trouble. Although I suppose it could turn out like the Pina Colada song.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

ahhhh....then ignore my post on EX in other thread ...you need to move on:doh:

[Kimberley]

Most people I know (male and female) dont watch porn. Maybe a baby blue once in a while but hard core... nope. As far as casual encounters. Put him in the same mailbox with your ex GF. Buh bye.... move on hon.

He obviously isnt showing you any respect so show him the door.

[Holly]

Good grief, girl... get some self respect!

[Alana65]

Throw him to the curb, hun........he doesn't deserve you :2c:

[gagirl1]

Good grief, girl... get some self respect!

seconded

[sandra-leigh]

Most people I know (male and female) dont watch porn. Maybe a baby blue once in a while but hard core... nope.

That's not what the sales figures say.

Though, most people do not admit to watching porn.

By the way, from the figures I have seen (in respectable newspapers) and from talking to some people who sell sex toys, apparently quite a few women do buy porn and/or sex toys. The figure that springs to mind is that the current industry estimate is 40% purchased by females.


Around 200 or so people work in my building. Of those, I can only think of one that I am sure wouldn't be offended or evasive if I were to ask them if they watch porn; and there is one other that I think would probably answer me honestly without harm to our relationship, but first I would have to explain why I was asking. The others... the response to such a question would range from "None of your business" to a serious complaint on my personnel file. It isn't something you can usually discuss in "polite society" (though you might be able to discuss it at some bars perhaps.)

[terri1984]

Hun,

The porn possiably i could live with, But craigs list is a bad sign, If he were mine id be done with him. Thats what id do. I surely hope things get better no matter what you do. Your sis terri

[GypsyKaren]

From what I've heard about your bf, I would have booted his ass out a long time ago.

Karen :star:

[Stephanie Stephens]

Tgirl, I wouldn't do anything rash and I wouldn't "through the person out" just because you read it here. I am sure there is a lot more to the story and other things to consider. Good luck Hun

[AmandaM]

Is he looking at the pix to get his jollies? Or is he emailing them? Hmmmm...

[tgirlinva]

Is he looking at the pix to get his jollies? Or is he emailing them? Hmmmm...

he is only looking at pix.

[AmandaM]

You have to ask yourself, if he doesn't change, do you want to be with someone like that in 5 years.

[Cheryl T]

Let's see...with you, but has naked pics of his ex-TS gf and a porno of them together...mmm

DUMP HIM....let him be with Mary Thumb and her 4 sisters...:heehee:

[Kittykitty]

Here's an interesting link to an article on male/female/gay/lesbian sexual stimulous effects.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?_r=4&pagewanted=all
This is a more in depth article than one i saw last week, and it shows males to be much more sexual specific (thus the "breast man, "booty guy" etc) and females to be, well, into pretty much everything.
What i found interesting is that the subject's minds and genitalia did not always tell the same story.

Edit: Oh, and i go on CC all the time, but only to talk to the other people of similar mindset (if you will.) I've met some very nice people. However, I doubt he's intentions are as innocent as my own.

[Ashlyee Paige]

There are other sites to just look at pix, CE is more of a hit home and way too easy to hook up with someone if you want to look at pics there are many other sites with porn, sounds like looking for more than images. :2c:

[Emily Anderson]

Porn is ok. Looking on "casual encounters", umm, not so good.

Best way to find out is to confront.

[Emily Anderson]

Most people I know (male and female) dont watch porn.

Actually, I watch a lot of porn... and I find it quite offensive that you would dismiss a person based on that fact alone.

[Raquel June]

If you don't like his porn viewing then let him know. The "it's a man thing" is a lame excuse.
...
The fact is while most men have seen some porn most men don't watch it regularly.


Most people I know (male and female) dont watch porn.

I don't believe that. Most men have internet connections therefore most men look at porn. The ones that don't have religious/guilt baggage or a testosterone deficiency. The same goes for masturbating. Even if they don't look at porn, 95% of men under 50 are going to find time to masturbate now and then, even if they're getting sex a couple times a week.




he is only looking at pix.

Looking at porn doesn't mean anything except that he has a sex drive. Tons of guys look at porn, and I guarantee less than 0.01% of them ever go have sex with a porn star.

Looking at personal ads is a bad thing, though. This is taking the pure fantasy of porn and extending it to something that could actually become cheating. You can't get into his head, though, to know what he's actually thinking. Maybe you can trust him and he would never entertain actually contacting one of those people (in that capacity it's no worse than watching a soap opera or reality TV with some kind of sexual theme). But maybe you can't trust him and he'll cheat on you. But you can't go through life worrying about someone cheating on you. Either you can trust him or you can't, and I would draw the line at him trying to contact someone.

I've looked at a few personal ads from people I would never be interested in. I mean, sometimes you can't help clicking on that ad from the bi-curous couple with the BBW wife that's looking to smoke some weed and get it on with another couple. Clicking on the m4mm section is a real hoot! There's a certain word that starts with a B and has 3 Ks in it that gets used a lot!

Anyway, if you really don't trust him, you probably already have a better reason to break up with him. You can't just get in an argument about him wandering around the web. He never did anything but click on a few links. I don't like it, but it could be totally innocent -- definitely pushing the bleeding edge of innocent!

You can dump him because you don't like him anymore. You can dump him because you're bored of him. You can dump him because he tried to contact someone through a personal ad. You can dump him because he talking to an ex on a regular basis. You can definitely dump him if he has a sex tape of him and an ex and won't get rid of it for you. Is that true? But you can't just dump him for poking around Craig's List.

[Sejd]

This is not a matter of what "We" would do, the question is: what do you want to do about the matter? Are you OK about your partner surfing the internet for porn or are you not? if you are not, tell him so and don't be a pussy about it. If you know what you want out of your relationship with your partner, be who you are, and confront him with that reality. You deserve it girl. Don't go and ask us what we want because there are over a thousand different opinions about that matter in this forum. Just go with your guts and slug it out girl.
hugs
Sejd

[dianarg]

Most people I know (male and female) dont watch porn. Maybe a baby blue once in a while but hard core... nope. As far as casual encounters. Put him in the same mailbox with your ex GF. Buh bye.... move on hon.

He obviously isnt showing you any respect so show him the door.

I Agree

[Raquel June]

Most guys do watch porn. Most guys actually think other guys are weird if they don't watch porn.

Most studies seem to put the numbers at about:

90% of guys admit to watching porn
60% of guys admit to watching porn at least once a week

70% of women admit to watching porn
5% of women admit to watching porn at least once a week

Now let's factor in religious baggage. 76.5% of Americans say they are Christian. Obviously a lot of people are going to hide the fact that they watch porn.

Now, let's look at the facts about Internet porn:

12% of all websites are porn sites
10% of all Internet searches are for porn (this used to be 20%, but these days most people have figured out where to find porn without having to Google for it).

YouTube uses 10% of the bandwidth of the Internet. Porn uses more bandwidth than YouTube.

It's impossible to get exact numbers for anonymous P2P downloads, but at least 40% of all the traffic on the Internet is P2P clients (pirating porn/movies/music/software). The number of people downloading porn is at least as large as the number of people downloading music.

There are also many YouTube-like free porn sites.