Did Coming out bring you closer?

[LeotardMan]

We all have different way’s of how we came out or got busted. However, did coming out or getting caught by your Mom, Wife, or GF bring you closer? Were you able to share outfits? Trade beauty tips? Exec?

I’m single so my Mom is the only ne in my family that knows. When I got busted the third and she asked me if I was a CD and I came clean. She didn’t treat me any different but it was never discussed for a few month’s. When she officially accepted it was like everything changed and for the better. We went shopping together, She gave me some of her old outfits, and when I would exercise with her I could dress just like her and not hide it.

Geoff

[Karren H]

Hell No!! Geting forced out/discovered almost ruined my marriage and my life!! Took years to gain back the trust lost on the fall morning!!! And were still not back to where we were over 3 years ago.. Definately something that brougth us closer ....... Closer to the edge not closer together...

[Saika]

Coming out to my partner has brought us closer together, i feel lucky. We have plans to share experiences together i.e makeup and dressing up.

Karren sorry to hear that...

[Ballerina]

I think coming out to my GF has brought us a little closer. It definitely opened up more room to appreciate her even more :)

Hmm.. can't share outfits 1) She's possesive of her stuff 2) She's quite a few sizes smaller than me, lol (4'10" vs 5'6"). We haven't shared beauty tips because she's not much into make-up, but we have poked around shopping online and she wants to go out shopping together.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

We all have different way’s of how we came out or got busted. However, did coming out or getting caught by your Mom, Wife, or GF bring you closer? Were you able to share outfits? Trade beauty tips? Exec?
I came out to my mother before I was married. As a result, she got to borrow my waist length black wig, a dress, eye-liner, eye-shadow and brow pencil when she went out for Halloween that year. :happy: When that happened, I was standing in her room instructing on her on makeup application as she went. My father came in and I just stopped talking. He didn't twig that the stuff that she had borrowed "from a friend of mine" was actually mine, and he didn't find out that I'm a CD until about 10 years later! I later gave my mother that wig after I bought others that were better quality. Now, I still get on fine with my mother but she won't even talk about my CDing.

I had a girlfriend who abused me quite badly when I admitted that I was a CD. She wanted a butch bloke and I wasn't it. The relationship was doomed anyway, but it made me more determined to be open about it as early as possible in a relationship. I figured that if a partner couldn't handle it, I'd rather walk away and look for someone else than go through a painful relationship again.

When I met my wife, I outed myself to her within the first month or so, and she was relieved that I was "only" a CD. She could sense that there was something and thought that I might have been bi. :tongueout: We've been married for over 9 years and she has varied between actively supportive and neutral. I don't think that she has ever actually been negative about it.

We share some clothing, although in Australian sizes she's a 12 (medium) and I'm a 14 (large), so there tend to be limits on what can share. We give each other feedback on outfits, what colours will work, etc. She almost always looks me over just before I walk out the door and gives her (virtually always positive) opinion.

It's hard to know whether it has brought us closer together because we weren't living together before she knew to have something to compare to.

Alice

[Jenniferpl]

It has brought use closer together. It is really fun looking at clothes and makeup together. Sometimes I will hold up a couple of bras and let her pick which color I wear. It's a great way to judge her level acceptance that day. If I had known it was going to be this good, I would have done it sooner.

[LACD]

Surprisingly my coming out did bring my Dear Wife and I closer together. She helps me shop and advises me on what kind of clothes to wear and buy. She has even started wearing make-up and we help each other with it. We were married over thirty years before I came out fully to her. She had suspicions, but still was shocked. We had lots and lots of talks and now things are definitly better.

[Tasha McIntyre]

No, definately did not bring us closer together, but at the same time didn't do any great damage either. My wife always had a bit of an inkling that I had a liking for girly things (she later told me) so it wasn't a great shock for her.

[Michelle 51]

My wife knew i liked to wear her lingerie but when i started to dress up in skirts or a dress with breast forms, wig and heels etc at 50 years old she was very nervous that her husband of 30 + years was having a nervous breakdown.That was several years ago and i assure her that i'm the same guy she married and always had these feelings even if i didn't act on them.Sometimes she will tease me and say i bet you wish you could wear this as she dresses up and we'll laugh but other times when i put a nightie on etc to wear to bed she roll her eyes and say you don't need to wear that stuff to bed or our daughter goes out she'll say you don't need to dress up just because we're alone.I guess the best way to put it is she tolerates it but if it went away she wouldn't shed any tears

justabit

[Nigella]

I'm not too sure whether it brought us closer together or not. It certainly didn't harm our relationship until much later. The one low point was when after "apparently" accepting my CDing she finally said "I F***ing hate it, I almost walked out on her there and then. Not because of what she said, more because she had decieved/lied to me (see the irony).

It was not the CDing that almost split us. After we got this "ironed" out and set a few ground rules, it strengthend our relationship, not because of the CDing but the need to be honest with each other.

[Melissa Anne]

I think (and I think my wife would agree) that it has brought us closer together. She has told me that if I had not told her and she had found out some other way it would definately have had the opposite affect. I'm glad I told her when I did.

[unwritten2108]

Coming out to my g/f was a bit of a huge moment for us. I built the coutage to tell her early on in our relationship b/c I couldn't put up with the consequences of having her find out on her own. I think it did bring us closer together b/c it established that honesty between us and it showed her that I was fully comfortable talking to her about anything.

Of course I had some explaning to do on the issue so she could understand it better. That took a good bit of time and part of me thinks she's a little scared that I might come to her one day and say I want to go full time, but overall it's something that we can talk about occassionally and even joke about too. She even wants one day to meet Cyndi herself since she knows how important that part of my life is to me. So it's definitely been a plus in my relationship.

[mollytyler]

Out to my sister at 15 and DEFINITELY brought us even closer...Mom took a bit longer to be "educated" on my issues but has long since been accepting and supportive of her other daughter. Got to share many a closet full of things with my sister until my own wardrobe was built up....now she will borrow MY things when she is in town of I go home for a visit

[geri-tg.]

I came out to my wife many years ago. We are much closer and we do share many of our outfits and make up.I feel very blessed having a understanding wife and best friend to share my dressing with.:hugs:

[Emily Anderson]

It depends on how many relationships you're talking about. First wife didn't know, second wife freaked out, some girlfriends have been fine with it, others less so. In all, I would say that I've never had a real bad experience due to crossdressing.

It's all about the way you handle it as to how others perceive it... If it's your "dirty little secret", then you should expect to be treated like a freak. On the other hand, if it's an integral part of your lifestyle and you're up front about it, the problems you encounter are likely to be way less.

[Samantha43]

My wife has known since well before we were married. We definately have a unique relationship. She really loves it when I give her a makeover. I like it too.....I get to see her just the way I like her to look.....

I think my crossdressing has benefited both of us. She has a partner for shopping and other girly things and I can express my femininity whenever I want.

It's really fun when we both get all dolled up and spend an evening together.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Coming out to my wife is probably one of the best things that ever happened in our marriage! :)

We had a good marriage already (which took a lot of work to get to that point), but when I came out and found my wife to be very accepting of my cding, it made us BOTH happier than we've ever been, ever.

I just came out last year. I still talk frequently to her about how much better our marriage has been since Gabrielle became a part of it. My wife shares my taste in women's clothes and brings me pretty things to wear - both her old clothes, and new clothes when she goes shopping. There are times when we share each others clothes too. She does my makeup - I'm not very good at it yet and she really enjoys getting me all made up. I enjoy the whole transformation process with her very much.

I wish I hadn't waited so long to come out to my wife - we could have been experiencing this absolutely beautiful thing we share a long time ago if I only had more courage sooner. But for anyone who hasn't come out to their SO yet - you know how scary it is - the thought of rejection and/or complications.

I'm only out to my wife so far. It will be some time before I let anyone else in my (offline) life know about Gabrielle.

[Tip or Ozma]

It has definitely enriched our relationship. I even more comfortable sharing things beyond clothing and intimate matters.

[Babette]

I guess I did it backwards. After the child raising years, our relationship deepened and we became much closer. It was then we shared our inner most desires with each other and found acceptance. We have since remained close.

Babette

[beenherelongtime]

nice that you can share with your mother. also swap clothes. my girl knew on about the third date and for a while we could share some things, but alas, she lost some weight and i gained some, so neer the "sizes" could meet. oh well.

[gennee]

My SO accepts this part of my life. Why, we been shopping together a few times. We're still the same couple we were before.


Gennee

:)

[kristinacd55]

We all have different way’s of how we came out or got busted. However, did coming out or getting caught by your Mom, Wife, or GF bring you closer? Were you able to share outfits? Trade beauty tips? Exec?

I’m single so my Mom is the only ne in my family that knows. When I got busted the third and she asked me if I was a CD and I came clean. She didn’t treat me any different but it was never discussed for a few month’s. When she officially accepted it was like everything changed and for the better. We went shopping together, She gave me some of her old outfits, and when I would exercise with her I could dress just like her and not hide it.

Geoff
Further apart & closer together. I should have told her 34 yrs ago (although I gave some bad hints), but I'm taking it slowly & hopefully things will only get better now.

[BethanyC]

My misses and i are much closer now that she knows,
we have been together for nearly 8 years and we have always been close.
but towards the second half of the year she could tell something was up.
I’m glad she knows, unfortunately we shouldn’t keep secrets from those that we love most,
But I was so worried about losing her if she found out. All that worry for nothing… but from the stories from others it could of easily gone the other way.

Beth.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Well I did not get come out........I just got caught and she wanted a answer!
but I did ask myself if I did not caught would I have have come out..........NO.

I did feel relive that it was out....I was bound to get caught and I know it,
it answers a lot of my wifes questing, but I do not feel that it brought us closer...............but it did set us back some.

LA CINDY LOVE

[SusanMarie]

Closer...most definately closer!

[suchacutie]

I didn't "come out" to my wife in that sense. She and I discovered Tina together. Since then Tina has been a joint project and has been the center of many discussions about how women are raised, what is expected of them, how they think, how they act, how they talk, and their emotional well-being.

This has brought us so much closer in every way. We clearly talk to each other about topics that just would never have come up before.

Then there are the little things that develop from this. About 5 months ago, my wife wanted a new purse, and described exactly what she wanted using terms that Tina could clearly understand. It wasn't easy to find such a purse as she had some very specific needs and desires. Every time I was near a store I stopped in and headed for the purses. You can be sure that I saw very few men shopping for purses, but I never batted an eyelash. Last weekend I saw the perfect purse and my wife is just delighted. Ok, it wasn't a bra, but I'm sure that if she asked me to look for that (I do look online) in a store I would think twice before heading on in!

She also talks to Tina about things that don't interest me that much. It's really opened a new avenue in our relationship and I don't think there's a chance of going back!

him and tina!

[JoAnne Wheeler]

NO - my Spouse knows about JoAnne and feels threatened by JoAnne and is jealous of JoAnne

JoAnne Wheeler

[Joanne f]

When i came out to my wife it was almost the end of things , my wife had never heard of such a thing as a man wanting to wear women's clothes so like most would do she asked some close friends and her mother and you can geuss what they said " i would not put up with that from my husband you should tell him where to go ".
But to cut a long story short (as i don`t like typing) she thought , hey this is my husband and you don`t know him like i do, there is no way i am leaving him just because he likes to wear women's clothes.
And in the end yes it has brought us closer together because we can do so many more things together.