Outed in the worst way possible

[Niya W]

I was reading about this on a yahoo group. A CD went out for two days of fun. Loaded up the car and went on her trip. She gets to were she is going and has a heart attack. She is ok but the wife has no idea that hubby is a CD . Now every one is waiting for the other shoe to drop when the wife picks up the car load with a few wigs , clothes , breast forms and other stuff.

[mykhelee]

I guess the way she reacts will depend on a few things:

What kind of relationship do they have, cold and distant, warm and loving?
Does she suspect without letting him know. Anyone who keeps their stash in the family home should realize that the SO most likely knows and has adopted a "don't ask don't tell" mentality. An SO, male or female, will put up with a lot if they are in an otherwise good working relationship.
He has the sympathy factor working in his favor if the relationship is of the warm and loving variety.
I am out to my daughters and close friends, and my GF, just became to tiring having to worry about repercussions should something happen.

[Sandra]

All the more reason to tell your SO's

This topic was rasied here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98096)

[kristinacd55]

All the more reason to tell your SO's

This topic was rasied here

Amen Sandra

[MJ]

and thats yet another reason to tell your S.O
It"s bad enough that an s.o gets the bad news about a heart attack and dealing with those emotions add to that this person could die add to that the S.O finds out her husband dresses has a woman .. do you think thats fair to her .
i hope all goes well for that sister on all fronts

[Sheila]

and thats yet another reason to tell your S.O
It"s bad enough that an s.o gets the bad news about a heart attack and dealing with those emotions add to that this person could die add to that the S.O finds our her husband dresses has a woman .. do you think thats fair to her .
i hope all goes well for that sister on all fronts

Thanks MJ & kristina :hugs:

[Shari]

One heckuva way to be outed to your wife.
Ouch!

[Samantha43]

All the more reason to tell your SO's

This topic was rasied here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98096)

Exactly. The wife has to deal with her husband having a heart attack, and then find out he's a CD? That might be a little much for one day!

[Emily Anderson]

Sadly, that's the life of a crossdresser and their un-knowing partner.

Still, it's better she knows he's a crossdresser than an axe-murderer, rapist or child molester.

Hmm, that's not a good comparison :)

[rickie121x]

The injustice done to his wife was monsterous! That injustice, done by him, is inexcusable!

I look back at my young life when I had committed the exact same sort of thoughtless actions - god forgive me!

[Lora Olivia]

All the more reason to be honest with an SO. When I worked out the fact that I was gender dysphoric, I came clean with my SO in a very short amount of time. Also since then I have came out to our youngest daughter and a few other relatives I trust. They are the ones that are listed most places as emergency contacts so I know that if even my So and I were to die together, the surprise is off my shoulders

[Kerry Owens]

C'mon wake up! We SO's don't all fall apart at the seams when you're honest and up front! Most of us just need a lot/or a little information to settle our feelings and understanding about CD'ing. Please just be honest. It's all we ask!

[Niya W]

Well from what I know she will be ok.

[gennee]

I told my SO and son because this is the particular situation I wanted to avoid. I had a heart attack four years ago but I wasn't CDing at the time. I wanted to tell them anyway. I didn't want any surprises or anything if something happened to me.

Gennee


:)

[beenherelongtime]

somebody is going to get a suprise. why doesn't this word look right.

[Christina Nicole]

C'mon wake up! We SO's don't all fall apart at the seams when you're honest and up front! Most of us just need a lot/or a little information to settle our feelings and understanding about CD'ing. Please just be honest. It's all we ask!

True, some wives blow up like a hydrogen bomb. My wife is stubborn and closed-minded. She freely admits that she's opinionated and no one, no facts, and no logic can change her mind. I told her. But I never talk about it. Maybe someday she'll find my things.. preferably after I'm dead. I'd rather not deal with yet another bout of her histrionics.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[JoAnne Wheeler]

HONESTY is always the best policy - what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive - I know that it sounds corny, but it is true

JoAnne Wheeler

[cindym5_04]

Sadly, that's the life of a crossdresser and their un-knowing partner.

Still, it's better she knows he's a crossdresser than an axe-murderer, rapist or child molester.

Hmm, that's not a good comparison :)

Not according to MY mom!! To her, crossdressing is the horror of horrors!

...no really..seriously!

[carolinewalker_2000]

Ouch!!!

[CD Susan]

I believe in telling ones wife about being a cd. I hid this from my wife for many years and one day I decided to tell her because I could no longer live with the shame and guilt of hiding this part of me from her any longer. Unfortunately she would not accept this part of me. She was convinced that I must be a pervert of some kind and needed professional help to cure me of this "sickness". She was also convinced that I must be gay to want to do this. We eventually divorced because of this "sickness" of mine as it was not acceptable to her. I never suspected that she had such a closed mind. We both learned something about each other because I decided to reveal my secret to her. I learned that I had a wife that did not love me as much as I thought she did. I think we are both better off without each other. I hope this never happens to anyone else and I strongly urge any cd who is considering marriage to tell her about it before getting married. This is only fair to her and will prevent worse problems in the future. I made the mistake of not doing this and paid dearly for it.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I strongly urge any cd who is considering marriage to tell her about it before getting married. This is only fair to her and will prevent worse problems in the future. I made the mistake of not doing this and paid dearly for it.
Absolutely.

Your wife suggested that you needed counselling. The reality is that you needed counselling as a couple, as would any couple in the same situation.

It really bothers me that people say that they're not going to tell their partner because they've been in a relationship for too long. It's inevitable that something will happen that will out you to your partner. The careless thread has examples of this happening, and this heart attack story is another example.

The longer the deceit continues, the worse the repercussions will be when it does come out. And I don't use the word deceit lightly here. That is how many partners will see it, particularly if you are found out rather than admitting it yourself.

Alice

[Katrina red nails]

C'mon wake up! We SO's don't all fall apart at the seams when you're honest and up front! Most of us just need a lot/or a little information to settle our feelings and understanding about CD'ing. Please just be honest. It's all we ask!

Wish my wife didn't fall apart. I was honest and she's leaving me

[trannie T]

The lessons we can learn from this are:
Before you go out, tell your SO in case you have a heart attack, and
Before you go out wear clean underwear in case you get run over by a bus.

[JamieDP]

I have to agree with many others...a good reason to tell your SO...
My SO and I even have a plan...in the event that a "situation" should occur...she has a list of boxes, locations of clothing, etc. to even clear out the house before my parents may even have to come to where we live...It was sort of like "hon...if something should happen to me, there is a box, a trunk and a suitcase...get those out of the house first and donate them, burn them or take them to the county dump!!"

[sherib]

It's best that you SO finds know whats going on. that way there's no surprises.

[Karren H]

Remind me to pack the explosve device that blows up the car and the clothes if I become unresponsive for any reason!!

[Niya W]

she is OK and heading back to work soon… here is the letter from Sonia (I tightened it up a bit as English is Sonia’s second language) From Sonia:
WAS RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL AND SHE'S IN GOOD HEALTH!
SHE HAS TO RETURN FRIDAY MORNING FOR MORE TEST. I TALKED TO HER OVER THE PHONE AND SHE TOLD ME, THE DOCTORS SAID SHE WILL BE FINE.
THERE IS NO HEART DAMAGE, BUT HER CHOLESTEROL WAS TOO HIGH AND HER BLOOD PRESSURE WAS TOO HIGH…HOWEVER, SHE will BE IN MEDICATION. SHE WILL BE GOING BACK TO WORK ON MONDAY.
ALSO SHE WILL LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR PRAYING FOR HER, AND SHE WILL WRITE TO EVERYBODY TO THANK YOU-- ALL THE MEMBERS OF OUR GROUP (SONIA’S GROUP) AND OTHER GROUPS FOR THE SUPPORT SHE GOT IN A TIME OF NEED . SHE DOESN’T HAVE WORDS TO THANK YOU EVERY BODY, BUT SHE IS VERY PROUD OF OUR GROUPS.
AND WHEN SHE FEEL’S BETTER, SHE WILL TO COME TO THE CLUB (SHINE) BECAUSE THATS HER DREAM.
(REGARDING HER GIRL’S CLOTHES LEFT IN HER CAR)
WHILE AT THE HOSPITAL, SHE PAID A GUY AND TOLD HIM TO GO TO HER CAR AND TRASH ALL THE WOMEN CLOTHES. HE DID AND SO SHE IS STILL “IN THE CLOSET” WITH NO PROBLEMS FROM HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS, WOW, THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL.

[docrobbysherry]

Leave a letter explaining everything with your attorney who wrote your will and will handle your estate!:)

You can explain, " I'm NOT gay. I don't sleep with men. I just dress up to relieve stress and relax!":straightface:

Unless, of course, U WERE gay, and u did sleep with guys. Then your letter should say, " I'm NOT gay, I don't sleep with guys. I just dressed up to relax!":brolleyes:

[tamyracd]

I had a co-worker tell me a story about his brother-in-law who was a bi crossdresser and no one knew about it. I guess he and a friend went out bar hopping dressed and had a little to much to drink and had a wreck killing both.. Such a sad story, of course the man telling me the story had no sympathy towards the cd's to put it nicely. Later on she got a call from a storage co. and that's where he had his wardrobe. I do feel sorry for the wife that's a lot to handle at one time....

[vivianann]

That is one of the many reasons I wont keep a secret like that from a wife if I were married, that way if something were to happen to me I wont have any worries about hurting the wife, and she would take care of the car situation if I could not. Hopefully if I were married I would not be away from my wife anyway should I have aheart attack.
Sandra said it best in her post.

[Michelia]

Sadly, that's the life of a crossdresser and their un-knowing partner.

Still, it's better she knows he's a crossdresser than an axe-murderer, rapist or child molester.

Hmm, that's not a good comparison :)

But it is a good point. I had a lady friend of mine who found out, after her husband of 40 years (whom she worshipped) died, that he had fathered a few kids unbeknownst to her.