Lisa's Debut - Part 1 and Part 2

[JennSC]

Hello My Sisters!
This past weekend I made my DEBUT! Yes, it was my coming out and I choose to call it a debut, so by god, it is going to be a Debut!
I am a member of a online group called the Georgia Tgirls, and had expressed my desire to make my debut with them. I was immediately embraced, and plans were made. I made the trip to Atlanta from South Carolina (4 hour drive), checked into my hotel and made my transformation. I was picked up by an escort from the group and we went to an alternative bar in Decatur, called “Paris.” There were about 15-18 girls from the group there already and I was embraced and welcomed like a long lost sister! We talked and danced and partied until about 3 a.m. It was WONDERFUL! Lisa Jenn was finally able to be herself, in public, with others! WOW!
Well, the weekend was not over. On Saturday night we all went to gay/TG bar in Marietta, they had a drag show which was fun, and again, just like the previous evening, so much encouragement and compliments from all the girls. The night ended about 3 again, but way too soon for me.
Regrets, only that it ended so soon, and was over so short a period of time. I need a week, no, a MONTH!!!
Someone had written me that once I went out it would be like a drug that I would crave more and more. If the way I feel now is any indication, I feel like a crackhead looking for a pipe!
This is Lisa’s Debut Part 1. The next message will be Part 2, and contains the text of an email I wrote to the group on Monday night. Hopefully you will feel the mixed emotions it was written with.
HUGGS……..

[JennSC]

Hello My Sisters!

This is Lisa’s Debut Part 2, and contains the text of an email I wrote to the group on Monday night. Hopefully you will feel the mixed emotions with which it was written.
If you have not done so, read Part 1 post first!

Hello Girlfriends,

For all of you that participated and provided encouragement, thank you all again. It was without a doubt one of the five most significant times of my life. I never do anything without a lot of thought and intentionality. My step this weekend was one long wrestled with, and I am so very happy to say, that in retrospect, there is NO regret, only anticipation for the next time.

As I fell back into my reality today there were several things that were very apparent to me:
I will never be the same.
I have crossed over into a place that is both frightening and fulfilling.
I am not alone.
Candi was right, I am in need of a dress fix right now as much as a junkie needs a crack pipe!

Of those four things, the first three are so very wonderful, but the latter I am finding somewhat unpleasant and disconcerting as I see myself in drab, LJ's alterego.

As I did my best to concentrate on work that needed to be done today, images burst forth in my mind that brought a smile to my face. I hold each of them dear, just as I hold you, my sisters dear. There were some very special moments, some gave me hope for something that most likely will never be realized, but the fleeting thought was good for the moment. For the blink of an eye, I finally felt as much like a woman as I will ever feel inside my heart.

You may be able to tell that I am somewhat of a thoughtful, spiritual person (NOT religious!), and my spiritual quest has always been to find myself. If there is a God, I believe she smiled down on me this weekend. You, my sisters were Her hands reaching out and embracing me. You, were her voice with words of kindness, praise, and encouragement. Our communion was Grey Goose or beer or some strange looking yellow and red concoction or a glass of wine. Our worship was a dance of bodies touching in embrace, and souls colliding. Call me crazy or a heretic or sacrilegious, but by all means, call me the next time there's a party!

My apologies for being so serious, but for those of you that read this through, it is something that I wanted to express to you. Today was not easy for many reasons, thoughts of you, and you, and yes, YOU filled my head! As Tom Petty wrote, the waiting is the hardest part... but I will wait. As the Byrds sang so beautifully those words from ancient writings, for everything there is a season....

Take good care my sisters. Hoist a glass for me this weekend. I look forward to our next season together.

With fondness for you all,
Lisa Jennifer

[Persephone]

Sounds like you had a great time, Jenn! Wonderful!

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Lisa Jennifer, I really enjoy reading posts such as yours. we can sometimes get all caught up in the drama that surrounds all of us in our daily lives. In doing so we forget tostop and smell the roses sometimes. Be it our next big adventure out there... or someone else's beginnings... like yours.

So very happy for you,

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Alana65]

:cry:..I need a tissue :)

[JoAnne Wheeler]

What is your marital situation ? What is your work/financial situation ? What is your family situation ? Do you have the FREEDOM ??? to live out this new found life ? Are you caught up in the PINK FOG ?

What you have written sounds like a CDers dream. For the majority of us it is ONLY a DREAM.

If you truly have the FREEDOM, them go with your heart ! If you don't,
then reconsider.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Jacquilynne]

I'm so happy to hear of your wonderful weekend, hun :D I've gone out on adventures here in Greenville, SC and I too feel that I've changed . . . wish I could go out more . But I need to be cautious as well :o

I might try to see if I can do something this weekend . . . . ooh, shopping :D

Jacie