Progressing and breaking the barrier(s)....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Hi All,

I just wanted to share some thoughts here...

A year ago I decided I wanted to try CDing....and I talked to my wife first and yes, she freaked out for a few days and then slowly said OK if that's what you want...

So we started and I say we, because she's been involved in this from the get go to various degrees....

I came here and was a "newbie"...lot's of questons and a lot of learning...just like new girls that come in here asking about this and that, so did I. Simple things that now are common for me...sizing, quality of "this or that", make up, foundation, shoe sizes, where to buy and all those other questions that are critical to the newbies in getting strated and "old hat" to the more experience girls out there...

I started with being with the wife and having her buy me my panties...not like some of you far more experienced ladies who think nothing of shopping in drab or being all dressed up...and me thinking I could only wish to do that and would marval at how out you are..I could only dream!!!!

I have progressed (or transformed) from being a clumsy guy tying to look feminine to where I think I am getting it all down and done right....and with this has come a great sense of pleasure and satisfation in what I have evolved as a female....as Stephanie who is my female side of self....

In doing this transformation has come a sense of confidence... and with that has come a "normalcy" in going in and buying female things for me...like yesterday, I needed some panties, so I went to Target and selelcted a three pack of lace thongs (seems like that's all I wear...) took it up to the cashier to pay for it and thought nothing about it. Nor was I embarressed...today I am going to go out and buy a skirt and some tops and more than likely will try them on before I leave (like many of you have said your better off to try this stuff on before you buy it to make sure it's right...) that will be another first for me, but I feel I need to go out and take this next step....but that's what I have evolved in over the past year....or should I say that's the evolutionary process that comes along with CDing....


Soon I will feel that I've got everything down right and the need will be to wake up some Saturday morning...get my make up on and get all dressed up as Stephanie and grab my purse and head out the door and go do whatever Stephanie feels she needs to do that day....get her nails done, shop for a wig or buy some clothes and experience truly being "out" and with that will come freedom to be my female side...and with that will come the exhilirating experience of being a lady....then I'll post about my day shopping or going to the mall or whatever it is that I want to post about...jsut like many of you do already...

I expect that once I do this I will break that "barrier" that holds a lot of us CDers back (in the closet so to speak) from being that total woman....but when it happens and I break that imaginary "barrier" that exists for each and everyone of us who come into the world of CDing, then I can truly say that Stephanie has finally arrived and then look out because once she steps out there will be no stepping back....then I can look back some day and grin when I read about a new sister having trepidation about stepping and think yes, been there and done that but girl, the day will come when it's time for you to step "out" and I'll be there to encourage her just like all of you have encouraged me this past year....

So with that said I guess it goes like this..."It's the journey that counts and not the final destination"...

Thanks to all of you for holding my hand this past year....it's been great....

Love ya....

Steph

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Wonderful post - I can't believe that you only have been CDing for only a year - you've come a long way Girl

You have a very tolerant and understanding Spouse - that means a whole lot

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Thanks Joanne....

I've come a fair distance but have a long way to go and it will never reach a final destination..it will always be a "work in progress"....

The wife has been great so far, but it's not something that she would have ever put down on her I (she) "must get him to transform into" list....LOL....I've found that I have to go at this at her pace and not mine....but I'd rather do that and have her along wiht me than anything else...

[deja true]

Aw! Sherry, that's a great message...

I guess I've had about the same experience, but even more important for me was the presence here of a couple of what i would call "mentors". Their patience with the exasperating and repetitious questions and blather from us newbies, and their deep phlosophical postings on their "internal" landscapes, rather than just the stuff about sizes and colors, are what really brought me to find myself as deja.

Gee! and as I write this, it occurs to me that today, the 31st, is exactly the one year anniversary of my signing on here!

I'm with you all way in thanking the ladies and gents that helped me get over my fears and guilt about dressing and got me to think about the great range of human compassion and joy.

Thanks y'all! here's a big lump of

respect & love,

deja

:<3:

[Kate Simmons]

Yep, getting there is half the fun. Nothing is ever predictable out there in the "field" though and this is what really tests our mettle.:)

[Angie G]

I'm glad you have come so far in a year and wish you luck in your continuing jouney Steph. And I hope each step Is a good one hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Nicki B]

Gee! and as I write this, it occurs to me that today, the 31st, is exactly the one year anniversary of my signing on here!


Surely it's longer than that? :whistling:

;) xx

[CDPAUL]

WOW all of that in one year. I've been dealing with this for many years and am still dont know which way i am going.

we must have just missed eachother in Target yesterday

[docrobbysherry]

Like u, I thank those here, like Deja, who have helped me deal with my, "guilt from dressing", issues!:sad:

Unlike u, after 10 years of CDing, I'm STILL just a "clumsy guy trying to look fem"!:doh:

[suchacutie]

Because my wife and I have also traveled the road together on this from the beginning, I found a lot of what you said to be so familiar and a part of what my wife and I do. But then you talked about the future of getting dressed and heading out....alone.

I'm curious about your choice of doing that alone vs. having the support and presence of a caring wife. Is this something she would rather have you do alone? The dynamics of the process are not only interesting to me, but very much a part of my life as well.

all my best,
tina

[vivianann]

congrats Sherry, it will get easier as time goes on, and eventually you will get to the point where you will be able go enfemme and buy feminine clothes as if you were buying a pair of pants in guy mode.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Alone??? simply because I'll need to do that at some time to be truly free and open...as in can't use the wife all the time for a crutch....like honey go buy my panties....but we'll till do all the other stuff together and get out together as well...

[Patricia Johnson]

Great story, loved reading it and looking forward to reading more posts about your journey and the lessons learned along the way.

[BeckiB]

Great story and similar to my own. I came home from a deployment a few years back and realized that life can be very short. I had some things in my "Bucket List" that I needed to do. I had thought about CDing for years, so I talked to my wife (who knew of my thoughts since before we were married) and off we went to get makeovers together. That was June and when we got home we signed up to go to Southern Comfort in Sept. That was my biggest leap. The first day there was also my first time out in public. We went out to dinner and WOW was I ever nervous. It was so much fun.

If I can make a suggestion to someone it would be to go to one of the conventions like Southern Comfort or Be-All and take your SO. It is fun and educational. You will learn just how not alone you are. You will meet new people and make friends. Your SO will find that she is not the only one also. Did I mention FUN??

Good luck and have fun

[cindyxxx]

Your story is inspirational.
Whather I ever get as courageous as you I do not know but you must have a fantastic partner to help, understand and support.
Maybe one day for me but for now I still feel so self concious and would be mortified if anyone else saw me.
So I am gloriously pleased for you and hope to folow in your high heeled footsteps one day.

[Katie_]

Hi Steph

Very nice post, thanks for sharing that with all of us. As you probably know most people that cd started at a much younger age. I am very curious as to what made you start? Its cool! Did you ever try anything in crossdressing before your recent start?

glad your wife is supportive, that makes it alot easier for sure.

Best of luck!