Why does She buy Me clothes??

[Raven Wynter Rayne]

My wife of 18 years has made it very clear that She does not wish to see Me dressed, but buys Me clothes lingerie cometics whatever I wish. Like today We were out shopping in the cosmetics dept. I found some lipstick that I thougt would look good on Her (and it does!!) She asks Me if there is anything I want, on to clothing I pickout a few tops for Her, and again She asks. Thenin the lingerie dept. I pointed out a bra I really liked and She without asking Me picked out My size and put it in the shopping cart!! I guess I am just lucky to have Her as My wife!!

[Shari]

You have so much more than so many here.
Enjoy the ride and don't forget that half a loaf is better than none at all.

[cindyxxx]

I am probably wrong but is sounds as though she is giving you your own personal space and opportunity but can't understand what drives you.
It must be difficult to comprehend a partners love of dressing by those that have never had the urge.
I would enjoy the sharing and let her enjoy the pleasure she j=knows you get.

[Raychel]

I am probably wrong but is sounds as though she is giving you your own personal space and opportunity but can't understand what drives you.
It must be difficult to comprehend a partners love of dressing by those that have never had the urge.
I would enjoy the sharing and let her enjoy the pleasure she j=knows you get.

I was wondering the same thing myself. My wife will go shopping with me at times. Although she never wishes to actually meet Raychel.

I think your post Cindy, pretty much explains my wifes side of it.

[Shelly Preston]

Your wife may be struggling with seeing you dressed

It is clear she understands this need and is buying you things she knows you will enjoy :)

[Maid Barbara]

My late Wife didn't want to see me dressed either. Occationally she would buy me things and one evening every week would go to see family and leave me to get dressed. She would always call to let me know what time she would be home so I had time to get changed. She also didn't mind me underdressing and would do all my laundry.
I guess the reason our wives do this kind of thing is because they love us and want to make us happy even though its not their cup of tea. Be happy with your wifes level of acceptance and remember to show her that you love her to.

Barbara

[Jess_cd32]

You have so much more than so many here.
Enjoy the ride and don't forget that half a loaf is better than none at all.

Yeah and all I get are bread crumbs from my SO:eek:
Like Shari said, enjoy what you have, I'm very happy for ya:thumbsup:

[Amy Hepker]

It's a trap, she will dump you sooner or later. Ok maybe not, ut that is what happened to me. They do this to see if you are still man enough for them, if you fall for the trap and want more female items they know you want to be female and they want a so called Manly Male, not a sissy male. Just something to think about. This has happened to me a few times and I lost them, because I am truely female inside and now I dress the part 24/7. Buty, I have met so many Lady friends since I started dressing 24/7 that it is unbelieveable. Oh and by the way it is a whole different wonderful world being female 24/7.

[Nigella]

My late Wife didn't want to see me dressed either. Occationally she would buy me things and one evening every week would go to see family and leave me to get dressed. She would always call to let me know what time she would be home so I had time to get changed. She also didn't mind me underdressing and would do all my laundry.
I guess the reason our wives do this kind of thing is because they love us and want to make us happy even though its not their cup of tea. Be happy with your wifes level of acceptance and remember to show her that you love her to.

Barbara


It's a trap, she will dump you sooner or later. Ok maybe not, ut that is what happened to me. They do this to see if you are still man enough for them, if you fall for the trap and want more female items they know you want to be female and they want a so called Manly Male, not a sissy male. Just something to think about. This has happened to me a few times and I lost them, because I am truely female inside and now I dress the part 24/7. Buty, I have met so many Lady friends since I started dressing 24/7 that it is unbelieveable. Oh and by the way it is a whole different wonderful world being female 24/7.

Two sides of the same coin. Acceptance can be multi level, from the know but don't speak to the totally accepting allowing 24/7 presentation.

For those who have any form of acceptance, don't try to analyse what is going on, accept yourself. There may be some ulterior motive, but only the SO will know that.

For those who don't have an accepting SO, live with it, there could be any number of reasons why your SO will not accept. That is not to say that at some point they won't become more accepting, only their experiences and social background can help. You pushing for their acceptance will only probably drive it further away.

[deja true]

Just a thought here...but...

her indulgence of your interest may be a subtle form of control. She may accept that you're unable to control your desire to dress, but she still cannot or will not accept the physical reality of it. By feeding your desire at home, within the family, she can keep you're obsession from making you stray to unknown territory.

Even if you have a pet that you like but still think somewhat annoying (that cat that claws the furniture or that dog that whines all the time), you still feed it 'cos it is part of the family and still serves a purpose.

Nigella is right: don't analyze the vagaries too much. Accept what's available to you but still try to be the best damn watchdog or ratcatcher you can, despite your quirks.

:)

[insearchofme]

Did you ever think that she buys you things because she loves you?

[Emily Anderson]

It's a trap, she will dump you sooner or later. Ok maybe not, ut that is what happened to me.

Sounds like somebody has a chip on their shoulder.

I find it quite normal that your partner/spouse doesn't want to know about your extra-curricular activities. After all, she's been brought up to think that males are males, and females are females, each dressing and behaving in their own steroetypical ways.

That's how the world works, and until anyone/everyone breaks the mold and understands that people are individuals, with individual wants and needs, everything will continue as much and the same.

"Until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes, there will be war".

Not my quote, but nonetheless very profound... Read and think!

Emily.

[Shelly Preston]

It's a trap, she will dump you sooner or later. Ok maybe not, ut that is what happened to me. They do this to see if you are still man enough for them, if you fall for the trap and want more female items they know you want to be female and they want a so called Manly Male, not a sissy male. Just something to think about. This has happened to me a few times and I lost them, because I am truely female inside and now I dress the part 24/7. Buty, I have met so many Lady friends since I started dressing 24/7 that it is unbelieveable. Oh and by the way it is a whole different wonderful world being female 24/7.


How can you say it's a trap Amy

At the moment we know very little

We are all different and in unique circumstances What happened to you is sad but it does not mean it will happen here

It could be she will become more accepting over time yes even after 18 years of marriage things can get better

[Sheila]

It's a trap, she will dump you sooner or later. Ok maybe not, ut that is what happened to me. They do this to see if you are still man enough for them, if you fall for the trap and want more female items they know you want to be female and they want a so called Manly Male, not a sissy male. Just something to think about. This has happened to me a few times and I lost them, because I am truely female inside and now I dress the part 24/7. Buty, I have met so many Lady friends since I started dressing 24/7 that it is unbelieveable. Oh and by the way it is a whole different wonderful world being female 24/7.

And you base your statement that Raven's wife will dump her on what ?

FGS not all GG's can accept seeing their partner dressed but love yes LOVE them enought to assist in any way they can.

Now I met Debs on here after my last relationship broke up, I love her to bits, have been shopping with her, we have BOTH already moved soft boundaries that each of us asked for before I met Debs in real life for the first time and we both did that on the very first meeting ....... Does that mean I want to live with Debs 24/7 nope not for me ....... does that mean that I will dump HIM/HER down the line becayse I don't want a 24/7 cder DOES IT HE*L

Perhaps you lost your partners not over your dressing, but over something else entirely I don't know, but it is a very rare occurance that CDing brings about the end of a relatuionship entirely, more oft it is a combination of other things.

I feel that you owe Raven an apology

[Petra Bellejambes]

I believe that your wife is expressing love in a place she cannot fully understand. Its a an act of faith. Very nice. If there is any way you can reciprocate and be generous around one of her habits or behaviors that you do not fully get, I am sure that will go a good long way.

Keep the foundation strong and one happy day, you may be asked to display en femme.

Very good luck and much patience wished your way ...

[Nicki B]

It sounds like love, to me.. :)

[Carol A]

I think the key word here is LOVE :love: as mention before.
I have been married for 45 years, my wife doesn't tell me no as she understands my need. Now the best part is she is always picking something up for Carol that she thinks will look good on me. :hugs:

[Yvettegrl]

This would depend on how 'out' you are in public, but...

If she's concerned about public perception (yours or hers) perhaps she'd rather do that than have anyone else to see you buy them.

Just a thought...

[KandisTX]

Just because she does not want to see you dressed does not mean she does not support or understand your crossdressing. I know there have been many times in the past for many of us where our SO's did not support and subsequently left the relationship, however in many more cases there is support and acceptance because of their love for us. We are the same person that came into the relationship, only when we come out about our dressing, that changes their view of us in two manners. First, it is either a slight change in how they look at us as they can now see that we have a "softer" side to the rough and rugged manly exterior. Second, they can see it as a HUGE issue in that we are NOT the manly man they fell in love with. If that is the case, there are two options, they can educate themselves WITH OUR HELP about what crossdressing is all about. Thusly they help us by buying us clothing and make-up etc. OR, they can give up and leave. This does happen and sadly we as CD's cannot understand why it does, mainly because we are still thinking like males who in general do not understand the way a woman's mind works. I have had three marriages fail in the past, essentially all three were partially do to my crossdressing. Wife #1 couldn't take it anymore and claimed I "did things unbecoming of a husband and father" in the divorce. Wife #2 tried to change me by forcing me to stop dressing and when she realized that TRULY changed me from the man she met and fell in love with she left rather than admit she was wrong. Wife #3 got jealous when we would go out together and Kandis would get more attention than she did. She packed up and took off while I was at work one day. Wife #4 (GlitterGG here on this forum), has known since a couple days after we met and has accepted and supported Kandis all along the relationship as she knows that Kandis is just a part of the total package of who I am.

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Did you ever think that she buys you things because she loves you?

I like that you wrote this because it is exactly why my own S/O buys me girly things every so often. No strings attached, no hidden agendas, just plain wanting me to be my other self AND be comfortable with her.

She invited me to join her group to a steampunk gathering and is helping me to put together the outfit and gear of awesomeness ;)

So, back to the threads original OP, it might be because she does support you in her own way.

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[LA CINDY LOVE]

It's a trap, she will dump you sooner or later. Ok maybe not, ut that is what happened to me. They do this to see if you are still man enough for them, if you fall for the trap and want more female items they know you want to be female and they want a so called Manly Male, not a sissy male. Just something to think about. This has happened to me a few times and I lost them, because I am truely female inside and now I dress the part 24/7. Buty, I have met so many Lady friends since I started dressing 24/7 that it is unbelieveable. Oh and by the way it is a whole different wonderful world being female 24/7.
I do feel that Amy is on to something, my wife told me that she dose not want to see Cindy, but she dose give Cindy her old clothing and every blue moon she buys Cindy something, but when it hit the fan she hates Cindy and that is not good to have in a marriage.

Why is she buying women clothing she may not want you to buy clothing buy your self because she my think someone will see you, of your 18yr marriage how long did she know you were a CD and how long has she been buying you clothing.

LA CINDY LOVE

[Debutante]

My wife of 18 years has made it very clear that She does not wish to see Me dressed, but buys Me clothes lingerie cometics whatever I wish. Like today We were out shopping in the cosmetics dept. I found some lipstick that I thougt would look good on Her (and it does!!) She asks Me if there is anything I want, on to clothing I pickout a few tops for Her, and again She asks. Thenin the lingerie dept. I pointed out a bra I really liked and She without asking Me picked out My size and put it in the shopping cart!! I guess I am just lucky to have Her as My wife!!

She loves you no matter what...! duhhhh!
Lucky you! :)

[CharlotteW]

What a great lady you have. Most women are far more resilient than we give them credit for.

[Di]

Because she is doing what she feels comfortable with to support you.

[Lorileah]

Officer here is what I saw. The OP was at the store with their SO (cops love it when you talk in initials). The OP made several moves to show the SO that they thought certain things would look good on her. She felt loved, pretty and wonderful that she had such a caring spouse and felt that she could reciprocate and make her loved one feel good.

Thats what loved ones do. I could be wrong now but I don't think so

[Laney GG]

I must admit I am one who will occasionally buy something for my SO. I have no desire to see my SO dressed, but I understand this is something he needs to fullfill. It is still somewhat difficult for him to feel comfortable to go buy his own things(for his b-day, for example. I gave him a separate b-day card telling him I did it because the day was about him, not me). I resent that Amy feels that this is a "set up". Just because your relationships crashed and burned doesn't give you the right to accuse all SO's of being that way. :brolleyes:

[Tasha McIntyre]

Yes Raven, you are quite lucky.

Seems to me that your wife understands what a crossdresser needs and as willing to assist you. You have a luxury that makes you the envy of a lot of gurls here. make the most of it :)

Tash

[Lainie]

GGs are often more aware of their own feelings than guys are. She may be able to explain it.:hugs:

[beenherelongtime]

don't push it, be happy with what you have.

[sissystephanie]

Did you ever think that she buys you things because she loves you?

Dana, so very well said! My late wife bought me feminine things quite often and told me on several occasions that it was because she loved me! She also not only wanted to see me dressed, but would fix my wig and do my makeup so we could go out together!! She has been gone for almost 4 years now, but Lord do I miss her!!

[Raven Wynter Rayne]

I have no question that She loves Me!! I know She will not leave Me over this (cross dressing) Before She started buying Me things I bought on line, I had told Her it would be nice to see what I am getting before I buy it, at that point (about a year ago) She said She would go shopping with Me. As for when She found out about My cross dressing I told Her on night in bed (about 11 years ago) that I really feel like a freek, and She asked why so I told Her that I liked to dress, She took it well. It took Me about 6 months to work up the courage to do so. I had wanted to tell Her long before but always thought I was so strange for enjoying womans clothes. One day She had told Me about seeing a cross dresser in our town, and She seemed ok with it, so I was sure She would not freek out much. I know She buys for Me becouse She loves Me, and wishes Me to be happy!! I have told friends, "I know I must really love Her becouse no matter how made I may ever get at Her I just can't stop loveing Her!!!"

[JoAnne Wheeler]

You are fairly lucky - my Spouse will tolerate seeing me dressed, but she would never ever buy JoAnne anything - she resents JoAnne and is jealous of her

JoAnne Wheeler

[Alana65]

Raven, I wouldn't question why..........just enjoy it as much as possible. You've got a great lady :daydreaming:

[sometimes_miss]

I guess I am just lucky to have Her as My wife!
You are luckier than you could possibly imagine. Take what she gives, don't push it. If she ever wants to see you dressed, or interact with you that way, SHE'LL let you know. Don't, don't ever presume it's alright until then. Enjoy having someone who is doing her best to accomodate your needs.

[DonnaT]

Because she loves you and wants you to be happy. To a point she's comfortable with.