Writing a book

[Emily Anderson]

I've often thought about writing a book on the topic of crossdressing, and aside from the obvious difficulties of finding a publisher, having to divulge one's true identity, managing the criticisms (positive or negative), and so forth and so forth...

What would be the ONE topic you would consider the most important when conveying the phenomena of crossdressing to the unwashed masses? :)

[cindyxxx]

Great question.
I suspect it is different for everyone.
For me the hardest area is how one coped with the sneakiness!
That may sound strange to those lucky enough to be open but I remember vividly thinking I was odd. Why would I feel right with panties on. Why did a bra feel perfect? So I did what I imagine most people have done which is do it all behind closed doors.
Left me in emotional turmoil for years.
If you do venture into writing Iwould love to see howe you are progressing.

Good luck and I am sure everyone who reads your message wishes you success vecause ultimately it may well help us all.

[renee k]

Hi Emily,

Just my two cents here. But I think the one thing that most people don't understand is what motivates one to dress as the opposite sex. And that in it self has several reasons. I know from my experience, first question is WHY do you do it. My answer is I like the choice of clothes one has as opposed to male clothes. And being able to play with hair and makeup. And the feeling that's (female) who I am deep down inside.

Huggs, Renee

[Annie D]

Have you ever thought of taking the best replies to original threads? Some of the threads are a chapter onto themselves and the replies would shed some light on the public's perception about us. Some of the chapters would be serious of course and some of the chapters could be humorous. I oftentimes want to share some of my sister's comments and ideas, as they are quite intelligent and funny. Everything that we put here is really public. As long as everyone could keep our identities secret, what is here is great reading!

What is under the skirt and between the ears; the complicated world of a crossdresser.

[Emily Anderson]

Annie,

Yes, I've thought about it a lot. What is the one topic that you would like to see, other than whether I've done my research?

Emily.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

There are so many issues - devote a chapter to each

JoAnne Wheeler

[Emily Anderson]

There are so many issues - devote a chapter to each

JoAnne Wheeler

What are the issues? Tell me ONE issue that intrigues you the most.

[KareeAnn]

Emily this is a great question. I think doing research for those to network. The hardest part for me is convincing my wife that there are normal people out there that do this. If she could just see on her own, who, that they are normal and that it isnt something we can just turn off.
Since Ive come to this site, Ive come more comfortable with myself but it is just the internet. If I lived in a big town like Chicago or SF it would be great no problems there are plenty of resources, but how about those smaller cities that do have things, that I cannot find! That would be great.

[Emily Anderson]

The hardest part for me is convincing my wife that there are normal people out there that do this. If she could just see on her own, who, that they are normal and that it isnt something we can just turn off.
Since Ive come to this site, Ive come more comfortable with myself but it is just the internet.

KareeAnn,

I think this is one of the hardest burdens to bear for any crossdresser: To know that that are plenty of others in the world who feel just like you, and yet feel like you have to deal with all the problems on your own, including trying to convince your wife/spouse/partner that you are not unique in this respect.

This is exactly why I want to write a book on the topic of crossdressing: To educate the world that there are many many people who feel just like you.

[superpike]

There's been stories told about the proud and the few, why can't one of those stories envolve you? No one asks after the day is done, why why that story making that person feel privilaged to anyone? It's just a fACT, a story told about you will hold more water than what is due.

[danam]

I wrote a book about this once. An 80-100 page story that incorporated all my personal crossdressing fantasies. The writing is horrible, so I never bothered publishing it. But it was a rewarding experience to deeply ponder all my thoughts and then commit them to paper. Very challenging, too.

I did some research on publishing--the newest big thing is to self-publish. There are services out there devoted specifically to the self-publishing model, in which you pay for all start up costs and you do most of the work. But you get in print and you get on Amazon.com. The traditional author-publisher model is pretty much dead, I think, except for those in the most elite inner circles of the publishing world. So I wouldn't bother trying to find an agent or publisher or anything.

As for the topic to discuss most...well, the low hanging fruit would be the dilemma a being a straight male CDer who feels ashamed for dressing, and keeping it secret, yet does it anyway because of the thrill. While that is relevant topic, it is not a FUN topic.

I wrote a story about a straight male who tricked himself into getting a sex change, then had several adventures as he tried to reconcile the male persona with the feminine appearance...it was tons of fun to dream up situations. Like when the protagonist started to grow breasts...one memorable incident is riding on the back of a motorcycle, breasts pushed firmly into the driver's back, and knowing that the driver was slamming on the brakes on purpose...oh what fun to write!

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my opinion of your project idea. After much thought on the matter during my own research into the same idea, I came to the conclusion that there is just not enough interesting material to justify a single book, or a single character, centered on crossdressing. I think it could work, and will work, when part of a larger story.

For example, for fiction, the crossdresser can be a major character in the plot, but not the main character. CDing would have to be combined with another plot line in order to make it interesting.

And for non-fiction, the topic of crossdressing should be part of a larger, more universal topic. Like documenting the crazy things that happen in suburbia, or the concept of keeping secrets in today's world, or a broad exploration of any one of the multitude of emotions or habits that come out when crossdressing--emotions or habits that also come out in other ways, too.

Once again, for purposes of selling books, I think CDing can be very interesting as one element of a larger issue, but not necessarily that interesting when taken by itself.

Edit #3:
Oh, and one more thing--if your goal is to educate the masses about crossdressing, realize that only the "choir" will purchase a book with the word "crossdresser" anywhere on the cover. To sell copies, you'll have to appeal to a wider audience, and thus include other topics beyond just crossdressing, as I discussed above. I would call this a "stealth" approach to educating the world--use a broader, more general interest topic or story to draw in readers, then slip in the crossdressing material.

[Annie D]

I just spent an enjoyable hour or so going through the boy vs. girl pictures that have been posted; over 900 replies.....WOW!

Chapter topics might include fear of being out in public; when I first started dressing; my most embarrassing moment when dressed; feminine things I do as a man; remarks from the SO (not putdowns) about my dressing; almost caught; things I have said that only women should know. You get thei idea. Go back through the pages upon pages of threads and see which ones merit publication.

I don't have any one particular topic that I think needs to be publicized but rather the entire picture of average men who are quite human no matter how they are dressed.

[Emily Anderson]

I just spent an enjoyable hour or so going through the boy vs. girl pictures that have been posted; over 900 replies.....WOW!

Chapter topics might include fear of being out in public; when I first started dressing; my most embarrassing moment when dressed; feminine things I do as a man; remarks from the SO (not putdowns) about my dressing; almost caught; things I have said that only women should know. You get thei idea. Go back through the pages upon pages of threads and see which ones merit publication.

I don't have any one particular topic that I think needs to be publicized but rather the entire picture of average men who are quite human no matter how they are dressed.

Annie,

That all sounds very one-sided, from the point of the CD! I was rather thinking of how this relates to a two-way relationship?

[Alice B]

The question that every reader will have is - why do we cross dress? Making that answer interesting and on topic would make the book a big seller.

[danam]

But there may be merit in a humorous collection of stories of getting caught. Or a humorous how-to book describing the various ways to hide your stash and getting away with dressing in secret. I think those books would be fun to read!

[Emily Anderson]

But there may be merit in a humorous collection of stories of getting caught. Or a humorous how-to book describing the various ways to hide your stash and getting away with dressing in secret. I think those books would be fun to read!

I don't do humour. I was thinking more along the lines of how to help cross-dressers and their spouses/potential spouses overcome the difficulties of CD'ing, in general.

[boardpuppy]

When writing your book, you have to include a chapter or section whatever on the "pink fog". The first time not knowing what is happening to you, in a story this could be humerous but it has to be covered. The second and maybe the third time.....don't forget fedishes ie bra's, panties, shoes, and makeup....the list is endless. Take the first day a girl discoveres herself and proceed from there. The other ladies are right, the serious has to be covered but you have to show the humerous (that isn't quite the right word)side of being A CDer. I hope this made sense, my thoughs are still jumbled up aabout all this.
Alice

[Emily Anderson]

The hardest part for me is convincing my wife that there are normal people out there that do this.

This would indeed be the main focus, although I somewhat dispute the term 'normal' inasmuch as most men do not want to/feel the need to crossdress. But, I get what you are saying, and it is certainly something that the general public needs to understand.


There's been stories told about the proud and the few, why can't one of those stories envolve you?

The story will involve me, my thoughts, my experience, but only to a certain degree. Again, the main focus is to help the general public understand the phenomena of crossdressing, and especially the fact that it is not a limited quirk of a few marginal individuals, but a far-reaching want/need of many people... which leads me to my next post.

[Bev06 GG]

KareeAnn,

I think this is one of the hardest burdens to bear for any crossdresser: To know that that are plenty of others in the world who feel just like you, and yet feel like you have to deal with all the problems on your own, including trying to convince your wife/spouse/partner that you are not unique in this respect.

This is exactly why I want to write a book on the topic of crossdressing: To educate the world that there are many many people who feel just like you.

Well Emily to be honest with you Sweetlegs, I dont think the worlds that interested. Unless you had a CD in the family you just wouldn't go and buy a book on it would you. It would probably sell ove a million copies but it would mostly be to other CDs and wouldn't have the desired effect of educating the world. And to be honest I think its such a complex subject I dont think you would ever come up with any answers because all CDs are individuals and do it for different reasons.
Any way best of luck if you do decide to write one.
Bev

[Emily Anderson]

Well Emily to be honest with you Sweetlegs, I dont think the worlds that interested. Unless you had a CD in the family you just wouldn't go and buy a book on it would you. It would probably sell ove a million copies but it would mostly be to other CDs and wouldn't have the desired effect of educating the world. And to be honest I think its such a complex subject I dont think you would ever come up with any answers because all CDs are individuals and do it for different reasons.
Any way best of luck if you do decide to write one.
Bev

Very true Bev, and therein lies the challenge. A book about trains will only attract train enthusiasts, and a book about planes will only be read by plane enthusiasts, so there has to be more about it than that.

I'm fully aware of the challenge, as much as one can be fully aware when preparing to write something that appeals to the general public, as opposed to a minority group. In this respect, I want to focus only on certain aspects of the crossdressing 'phenomena' in such a way as to capture as broad an audience as possible.

Just to be clear to everyone, I couldn't care less about making money, because I'm not a materialist (far from it, in fact). My only goal would be to help everyone know that crossdressing exists, and is as real as waking up in the morning.

[danam]

Just to be clear to everyone, I couldn't care less about making money, because I'm not a materialist (far from it, in fact). My only goal would be to help everyone know that crossdressing exists, and is as real as waking up in the morning.

Good that its not about money! :Peace: In my experience, when you add up the money made by selling a book, and then divide it by the time invested, you're at about the same income as the clerks at the bookstore. And that is for a successful title! Writing and materialism don't match up very well.

The Internet has just devastated the book business. But it has created all sorts of other avenues for getting your message across.

[Cissy Chiana]

writing is fun, just try to avoid a mary sue

[docrobbysherry]

( You'll notice I'm not including myself in there).:brolleyes:

Emily, why do u think u'd have to tell everyone who u r, if u write a book? :eek:Nom de plume's have been around for 100's of years!:)

Think; Mark Twain!

[Emily Anderson]

writing is fun, just try to avoid a mary sue

Sorry China, I don't know what a Mary Sue is. Please could you explain?

[cindyxxx]

This is a massive undertaking.
It seems we all want to have our own input.
This is your book Emily and taking the best ideas from all these suggestions is going to be tough. However I know you will enjoy it and please keep us all posted if there is anything I / we can do to help

My bit -
Have Fun with it though. If the book is totally serious I don't think the unconverted will give it the time this subject needs

[Cissy Chiana]

Sorry China, I don't know what a Mary Sue is. Please could you explain?

Mary Sue, sometimes shortened simply to Sue, is a pejorative term used to describe a fictional character who plays a major role in the plot and is particularly characterized by overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as wish-fulfillment fantasies for their authors or readers. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

I've found myself doing this sometimes in a couple of short stories without realising it on a concious level...