I know who I am, but what is/are the correct term(s)?

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

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Please skip to my follow-up post (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1595126&postcount=17) if you're reading this thread for the first time. Thanks.



I'm a crossdresser and have long wanted to interact with other crossdressers, and so I finally allowed myself to do just that on the first of this year.

Am I just a "crossdresser" though? I learned of terms that are new to me since taking the digital plunge, like "tgirl" and "transgendered" among others.

The bottom line is what's in a name? Labels don't really matter much, but I am curious as to where I fall.

I did some research on terms and figured out that I do fall into the transgendered category as well. Ok, there's another applicable term for me.

I can't seem to find a meaning to "tgirl" in which I fully understand if I do or do not fall into that category myself. My personal interest in crossdressing is not just to wear women's clothes, but to come as close as possible to looking like a woman, but I don't want to have a sex change. Am I considered a tgirl? Is that more a state of mind than a term which describes personal traits? When I'm dressed up, my wife and I both refer to me in feminine terms (as in girl).

I'm a straight guy, only romantically interested in gg's, period. I work and live as a man and crossdress when opportunity allows - usually just the clothes because time and circumstance doesn't allow for nails and makeup often. If I had some more freedom in my life, I'd do full makeup and nails each and every time and crossdress a lot more frequently than I do now.

Again, straight, married (wife knows and is supportive), live as a man, desire to appear as female as possible when dressing up, but have no desire to get a sex change. I enjoy being a man sometimes and don't think I'd want to be a woman 100% of my time if I ever found myself with the freedom do anything I wanted.

Is this enough personal data to fill in the rest of the blanks for me?

No confusion whatsoever as to how I feel or who I am. I just don't know all the terms that apply to me and I'd kind of like some input on that.

For those who respond - what do you consider yourself, in terms of all the labels you feel are applicable to you?

Thanks. :)

[Karren H]

I'm so tired of being labeled that the only label I really need to use is "Karren"...

Ohhh and cute.. Yeah!! Two labels.. I'm starting to sound like the Spanish Inqusition!! Lol

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

:laughing:

Thanks, Karren and Katie!

Your posts cracked me up for some reason (not in a bad way).

I'm not confused about who/what I am, and I'm usually the first one to say labels don't mean squat. I kind of mentioned that in my post... or thought I did.

I'm mostly just curious.

If someone told me I'm a ____ and _____ with a touch of ____ but also show signs of _____, it wouldn't change who/what I am in the slightest. Again, just curious and having a little trouble figuring it out for myself so I wanted to ask some of the girls who are a little more educated on the topic than I. :)

[Jacquilynne]

Gabrielle,

Wow, hun. Thats exactly how I see myself. . . exactly! I too was wondering about the label even though I too hate labels.

Just curious.

Jacie

[Lorileah]

well this is as clear as mud.

I know that I was chastized my first post for saying that Drag made fun of or over did female characteristics. I was told that drag queens didn't over dramatize. So I really don't know the answer. Then I find definitions from a person who works with transgender persons and here is what they say "Drag involves wearing highly exaggerated and outrageous costumes or imitating movie and music stars of the opposite sex. It is a form of performing art practiced by drag queens and drag kings. "

So anyway, here is the article if anyone cares. I know there will be several who disagree just because they can.

http://web4health.info/en/answers/sex-gender-what.htm#Cross-dressing


What I was told

Crossdresser=person who wears and presents in the clothing of the opposite gender (now someone please explain why certain articles of clothing are gender specific. Even some males can benefit from a bra)

Transvestite=person who dresses for sexual purposes. A fetishist

Transexual= Person who feels they were born into the wrong body. May or may not have SRS.

Drag= the wearing of opposite gender clothing for the purpose of exaggerating traits ofthe opposite sex. Usually done as entertainment and as camp.

Intersexed= having parts of both sexes. Can cover hermaphrodites and pseudohermaphrodites.

In as such, I identify as a crossdresser. For what that is worth.

[GaleWarning]

I am free to be me, because everyone else is taken. :)

Actually, you and I are a lot alike. :D

Let's not sweat the small stuff. :thumbsup:

[sterling12]

Well, in the first place your not JUST a crossdresser. I think I have heard some people use that particular label too many times.

You get to choose where you want to be, if your life is happiest as a
CD, then be happy with it. But your never JUST a CD, no matter what some other person says.

And if you choose, you can have a second title. Common usage at this time is to include everyone from CD to Post-Op TS in the "Transgendered Section" of The LGBT Community. Voila! Your instant transgendered too. Doesn't that feel good!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Carin]

The dilemma of label is not so much to help use define our Self to ourselves, but to enable us to communicate with others who have a genuine and sometimes very relevant interest. Many know me but do not know of my complex gender. It is bad enough that word of mouth distorts the facts, but when the facts are so difficult to articulate to begin with, much confusion abounds.

I use the term Transgender. I dress in feminine form most of the time, yet I too have no desire to become a woman. I have seen and used terms like Bi-gendered, composite-gendered etc. If there is time for serious discussion I will also use the Native American term Two-Spirit.

Unfortunately, most of the world thinks in the binary - male or female, and that includes the Psychiatric profession. The term Crossdresser seems to be well accepted to mean one who occasionally cross-dresses, and is otherwise comfortable being 'all male' or 'all female'. For most the only other understandable transgendered state it that of Transsexual (pre-, Post-, or non-OP) meaning female in a male body, or vice versa. I have found very little understanding of the concept of an integrated male and female gender. Yet there is ample evidence of this state (actually it is a scale rather than a state) on this forum. I have been told on more that one occasion that I am "more than a Crossdresser". And still I feel that being a "Woman" would be as much of a misfit for me as being a "Man". Lacking a more definitive term, I use the term Transgendered, which I understand to represent the full spectrum in general usage, but to also be more narrowly used as a descriptive for that integrated male and female gender which is neither all one nor the other.

So there you have it - clear as mud.

[tvbeckytv]

crossdressers are forever trying to feel better about themselves and therefore try to erect narrow definitions of what they are, who they are, why they are.
you see messages on here where one sort talks of how another sort gives them a bad name.
Some cant stand the thought that they may have a fetish, so they are a crossdresser, which is morally superior compared to the transvestite....thats the transvestite of their definition (which of course is incorrect)
thats why they change the meanings of words to suit...and it becomes quite regional where different "tribes" have different definitions of all these words.
essentially, nothing you call yourself will be understood by everybody the way you would like

[RachelDenise]

Too many labels and words. Create a little space for yourself and be very honest about your interests, wants and desires. If there is a label to match, viola! If not, you get to chose a new name/label!

[ReineD]

And then there are different definitions depending on which continent you live. Also, the labels take on different meanings over time as more research is published and more groups become vocal.

These are my current personal definitions of the larger divisions (as they relate to M2Fs). They do not include fetishists or entertainers. These definitions apply to all TGs, regardless of the amount of time dressed, since for many the choice is not self-determined. Rather, it is determined by a progressive timeline dictated by the degree of difficulty overcoming unfavorable environments during formative years, current life circumstances, and other personal/financial resources:

Transsexuals: Want to be women. Are unhappy about only occasionally expressing their female selves and hate reverting to guy mode. This includes anyone who wants to alter their bodies (one or more of hormones, breast augmentation, FFS). Or, they are free to live full time and are non, pre, or post-op, whether or not they have any other body modifications. Are either hetero, bi, or homosexual.

Crossdressers: Want to act like women. Are happy occasionally expressing their female selves and welcome reverting to guy mode. Are either hetero, bi, or homosexual.

Transpersons: Accept themselves as being non-binary. May live part or full time femme, or androgynously. Are either hetero, bi, or homosexual.

:2c:

[Jan Michell Collins]

I am me !!!!!!!!!

[Angie G]

I feel I'm just a cross dresser If Transvestite fits that's OK I don't really care what one wishes to call it I like wearing girl things.:hugs:
Angie

[JoAnne Wheeler]

LABELS just plain HURT

JoAnne Wheeler

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Thanks, ladies. :)

I really appreciate the input on the whole "what am I called" angle. Unfortunately, no one hit on the tgirl thing, which is the one I was most curious about, but no big deal. I should be doing my own research anyway.

To those I offended or upset by posing this question, please accept my apology. I honestly didn't realize that this kind of question might be upsetting to some people. In hind sight, it makes perfect sense. I know that we, as crossdressers, have already become labeled in a very poor light by much of society. I really didn't meant to rub anyone the wrong way. I hope you won't think badly of me for being curious about terms that might apply to me.

I do want to restate that I'm not confused at all about who/what I am. I love who I am and I love being a crossdresser. A lot of the terminology in the transgendered area is still somewhat foggy to me and I was trying to clear it up a little. Maybe it's foggy because every source I find reads a little differently on the subject. Maybe there are no established, agreed upon answers to my questions.

And I know I'm much more than just a crossdresser - I've got a lot to my life. I intended the question in the context of the whole transgendered topic, not as in the bigger picture of my life as a whole. I appreciate the show of support though. :)

Kind of wish I could close this thread now, but if there's a way, I'm not quite smart enough to figure it out.

Again - didn't mean to rub anyone the wrong way. :)

[curse within]

Gabriella,

If you really want to know than the best thing to do is be real with yourself. I feel to get a better understanding of ones self ,leads to a better understand in the spectrum you hold claim to.

If you havn't already done so, I'd suggest looking into the different patterns into which you find fits your EGO best..Now this isn't a pie throwing contest and I have no gain into suggesting such a task. I truely believe that once one finds the "label" in which suits you best, a better understand and a wealth of knowledge can be contained....

In being totally honest with your search and accepting what ever answers you may find , can result into a range of mis understanding from past experiances to becomeing more complete, like lifting a ton of weight from ones shoulders.

You may find some answers into "why do I do this over that"? or " why do I perfer things different than other CDers"? I don't know but it's helped me a lot to finnaly accept , the first step then adjust to where I fall into the spectrum..

If this is what you are looking for I wish you the best and hope it helps you as it did me.

C.W.

[Nicki B]

Unfortunately, no one hit on the tgirl thing, which is the one I was most curious about, but no big deal.

Commonly tgirl, Tgirl, T-girl (or similarly T boy) or just T* are common variations from trans or transgendered, i.e. intended as a catch-all term...

Another one is 'tranny' which is widely used as an abbreviation for TG or trans, but offends some as they see it as equating specifically to transvestite?


But the one thing you can guarantee is that no one uses all these words in the same way, that's one reason why they cause so much argument. :sad:

[jillleanne]

You will grow old trying to attach a 'label' to yourself and after you do, no one else will know what it is anyway so you will spend the other half of your life explaining to them what you think it is.
Do yourself a favor and keep it simple.; all 'labels' fall into one category. You can call it one of two things, your choice: "transgendered", or "gender enhanced". That's it. Now you can step out into Main Street and proudly announce who you are.

[Jess_cd32]

.............Kind of wish I could close this thread now, but if there's a way, I'm not quite smart enough to figure it out.

Again - didn't mean to rub anyone the wrong way. :)

I see nothing offensive in what you are asking at all, or any reason for anyone to be rubbed the wrong way over it. Labels will always exist and aren't nessesarily always a bad thing. If we didn't have labels what would we call that ignorant 'redneck'?:heehee:
Thought provoking posts and different opinions are nice to read.

[ReineD]

Yeah, don't worry Gabrielle, you've offended nobody. It's just words.

Words are pretty clever inventions really, if you think about it. They all started when a caveman realised that he didn't have to carry a rock around with him, every time he wanted to talk about rocks. He could just use the word instead, which saved a lot of energy.

Unfortunately, the rocks started to resent being labelled...

:heehee: ^ Good one!

[victoriamwilliams1]

To be honest when I am dressed I feel as if I am a Woman, I think since society needs labels to define what you are if I had to be labeled I prefer Transgendered. Now personally when I am dressed I am the woman known as Victoria.

[Yvettegrl]

I have some understanding of the terminology, though each person's interpretation seems to be a little different. Still have no notion of where I fit. Different days, different.

I'm glad there's no test on this stuff!

Yvette
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...

[sissystephanie]

As Jan Michel Collins said so aptly, "I am me!" I am a Crossdresser if you want to label me. But frankly I don't care what you call me! I like to wear feminine clothing, and that is my business and mine only!

Yvette, I believe the test is scheduled for Feb 28th!!

[Susan Dee]

I suppose it's only human nature to try to categorize people, and also maybe to give ourselves an idea of who we are.

Trouble is, labelling people can sometimes depersonalize them (there's a difference between older people and "the elderly", young people and "the young").

Then maybe we are trying to using categories based on medical terminology, or what essentially is the same thing (as Katie said transvestite is Latin for CD) having two meanings. There is a difference between the USA and UK with CD more common in the US and Transvestite meaning the same thing in England. Tranny over here is usually a relaxed abbreviation.

Personally I prefer Crossdresser, as I think that Transvestite sounds too clinical and can have a lot of negative connotations. But I'm happy to call myself a Tranny (and I've got my Licence too! Courtesy of Becky's Web www.beckysweb.co.uk/tranny-licence.asp).

On balance we are each far more complex than a simple yes/no label, and they should only really be regarded as shorthand. And that's before we start adding the other labels of occupation, religion, hobby, football team, State, music fan, University or whatever. Perhaps there's something too about who is applying the label. If it's something we give ourselves that's ok - but if it means different things to other people then we are back to where we were.

So how am I labelled for this exercise? I guess it's - straight, MTF, Crossdresser (formal), Tranny (informal).

Complex label - Me.

[msginaadoll]

I'm a sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania! (no offense thats from the Rocky Horror Picture Show) I guess sometimes we try to label ourselves to make things easier as if we could put people in a box. I guess I am a mass of contradictions myself. I usually use the turn crossdresser cause thats the one people understand. Course sometimes u get like on Jerry Springer then. My answer Hunny im much more of a classier dame than that, and a heck of a lot purtier. Gina

[JODINYCTV]

I believe the term ‘transvestite’ has gotten a bad rap over time, becoming associated with some wacky, cartoonish variation on feminity.

However I have long found the term preferred here ‘Crossdresser’ to be inadequate. That is because I know many crossdressers who do just that. The wear some female garments or affect partial creations of a femme self, yet do not indulge in the whole transformation process.

They don’t shave in the usual places, or apply makeup, or don wigs, they just crossdress, usually for the sexual satisfaction it encourages and brings. And I encourage them to do so without the shame and guilt that leads many of us to depression or guilt that leads to silly purges and the like. Enjoy the feeling crossdressing brings!

To me, a crossdresser is different and separate from those of us who try to appear as femme as possible, indeed try to ‘pass’ as genetic girls, something few of us are fortunate to have the capacity to do.

Now some may call me a drag queen. I for one, am not a ‘drag queen’, as such gals usually do overdo their femme thing. That is not a knock or a critique, just a fact. They amp up the gal thing and go over the top just to, well, just to go over the top! And that can be outrageous fun. And I love a good drag queen. They too are our sisters, although I have noticed a reticence on the part of many in our little den of deviation to accept them, as if they somehow shame the rest of us by appearing to look so outrageous.

As for being Transgendered, I believe that descriptive should be applied only to those gals who are living full or part time as gals, those of us in this multi layered community that are on hormones or have been surgically altered in whole or in certain parts, to best appear to be a woman.

Any gal like us who has had surgery or otherwise lives 24/7 as a gal, I consider to be no different in how I see and respond to them than a GG. They are truly Transgendered. They have earned that respect to be seen as and treated as a lady and I give it to them. If only all people would!

That said, most of us here, surely do not fit that description.

So I consider myself a TV or Transvestite, or if those terms are a problem for any of my ‘fellow’ gals, just call me a ‘Trans’ person or Trans Gal. That would describe Jodi quite nicely.

So, call me a T Girl or whatever, ultimately such a label is meaningless. And my dear, you have certainly not offended me with your question regarding what terminology we may apply to define ourselves. It was a good valid question, and the fine gals here have done the legwork (and in high heels no doubt) in helping define who they are. You all make me think out loud, and that is always a good thing!

Gabrielle, all we can do is express the inner woman by bringing her out as best we can. And I do that as a Trans Gal, happily, fully, and without restraint!


Jodi on further display at: http://profiles.aim.com/JodiNYCTV

[tricia_uktv]

I spend a lot of time with other crossdressers and you can notice certain traits. We sometimes discuss it and tend to come up with:

Transsexual - started dressing before puberty - wants to pass as woman - may go the whole way

Transvestite - started dressing at puberty - primarily does it for sexual reasons - very unlikely to transition

Crossdresser - started dressing after puberty - Does it to relieve stress - not worried too much about passing.

But there are others, like me, who don't fit into these categories. I started dressing before puberty so in theory am transexual, there are fetish elements involved (transvestite?), I like to look as good as I can but am not overworried about passing. I'm happy in both m and f roles. At this stage I don't want to transition. I am therefore considered a t-girl which actually, as labels go, I quite like.

Though I personally don't like labels, we are what we are, I am aware that others do.

[whitewalls1222]

this forum is really helpful, crossdressing is awesome!