The way we choose to CD

[GaleWarning]

It seems to me that each of us, when choosing our level of CDing, is somewhere along a continuum where, at one end, we choose to remain deeply in the closet, and at the other end, we choose to go out there and really push the limit by outrageously flaunting it.

It also seems to me that each of us, when thinking about our personalities, is somewhere along a continuum where, at one end, we espouse the virtue of selfishness (my individual needs, wants etc are more important), and at the other end we espouse the virtue of service (the needs, wants etc of others are more important).

When choosing the level of our CDing, is there a correllation between our position on the "closet - out there" scale and the "I am - others are more important" scale?

Where are you on each of these scales?

What do you think?

[Karren H]

I think the level chose me... not me choosing the level.... all a matter of comfort..... and I'm ver comfortable dressed enfemme in a crowded store.... or malll....

[GaleWarning]

Where are you on the "I am - others are more important" scale, Karren?

[Karren H]

I'm on the Family First plan.... any time left over is Karren's which equates to 99% on the others are more important...

[DawnRodgers]

I don't think the continuum has points on it where we fit in at all times. Many of us have positions on this that vary over time - from days to weeks to months Even the seasons can affect us in what we can do and how often.

[sandra-leigh]

I spent too much time putting others first, leading to quite tough health problems. I started crossdressing after that, and crossdressing became something for me. I still spend large amounts of time helping others, but at least I have something now to help balance myself out.

[Joanne f]

I think that there is going to be a difference in attitudes between a single person to a married one with children or even someone in a serious relationship, plus an older Cd to a younger one as there are so many things that come into play when you make the decision to be out or not and if you are out how much in the public eye you would be putting your self.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't believe most of us tend to think in terms of this or that scale, we just do it. How much and to what extent depends upon who and what we are as a person.:)

[Rachaelb64]

I'm not sure what point I'm at. 've have accepted myself as a CDer, and I've told those I want to tell. Other will have to ask but wont get a denial.

My kids are always going to come first in my life as do my family and close friends.

I'm happy dressing around my apartment, with a few nocturnal outings. still deciding weayher or to join a tv/cd/ts group.

So this is my point in the continuum :D

[battybattybats]

It seems to me that each of us, when choosing our level of CDing, is somewhere along a continuum where, at one end, we choose to remain deeply in the closet, and at the other end, we choose to go out there and really push the limit by outrageously flaunting it.

Hmm... presenting as a guy I have long painted nails, long hair and often makeup. But besides my goth androgyny im not out to many people I've only been outside en femme a handful of times and as Goth fashion goes mine is a little on the tame side.. so I'm.. both?


It also seems to me that each of us, when thinking about our personalities, is somewhere along a continuum where, at one end, we espouse the virtue of selfishness (my individual needs, wants etc are more important), and at the other end we espouse the virtue of service (the needs, wants etc of others are more important).

Oh but I have been fighting for everyones rights and needs to be of equal importance for years, definately agree with service to others (while disabled I've not been employed but have managed volunteer work even before my disability got bad) but also have seen peoples lives ruined by excessive self sacrifice that was wasted and that when the needs of the community are held over those who are different that injustice follows so I see that niether can be true in isolation, that each is interdependant, that to serve others fairly everyones needs must be equally important, for anyones needs to be met the needs of others must be important.

So... Both!

Have i just bent your spectrum into a moebius strip?

[Tasha McIntyre]

I am married with children, so finding the happy medium was / is very important.

The wife accepts that Tash exists, but doesn't want to see her, and especially doesn't want the neighbours alerted. I have no problems looking after my wifes wishes in that regard. In return my needs are catered for, in that Tash usually gets a several hours every week to herself.

Works for me :)

[JoAnne Wheeler]

It is just what ever we feel the most comfotable in

JoAnne Wheeler

[GaleWarning]

Have i just bent your spectrum into a moebius strip?


You have!!!!! :D

Made me laugh, too, which is a good thing early on a Tuesday morning.

[charlie]

Hello Clayfish!
Karren got it dead on the money on this question. Our level of CD is directly related to who we are and our personalities. There is no level for this or that, just who we are.

[xAnne_Mariex]

I'm at the point where i'm just about still in the closet, and despite seriously considering coming out to my mum, i'm still putting her feelings first right now.

[PretzelGirl]

Hello Clayfish!
Karren got it dead on the money on this question. Our level of CD is directly related to who we are and our personalities. There is no level for this or that, just who we are.

And, I would like to add, that changes as time marches on. We all grow as a person and those changes we go through as we grow also can have an impact on our CD tendencies and behaviors.

[docrobbysherry]

Rite now, I'm in the closet. Since I have child that lives with me part time, I'm probably about 50% on the "selfish" scale.

SO, r u saying when she graduates in 3 years, and goes off to college, I'll move up to 100% on the "selfish" scale?

And promptly leave the closet to engage in drag ball competitions in Hollywood and Frisco?:eek:

I'll make SURE she goes to local college, in that case!:brolleyes:

[Sally2005]

It is not selfish to do something that is personal in nature. It is only selfish when it is done at the expense of other people. I see myself as being somewhere in the middle and Cding is not really the reason either way.