Why Therapy?

[Rayne1]

Why is there so much talk about therapy? I am new to this forum and would like to understand what it is that makes it necessary to visit a therapist. I feel like this forum is a place I can ask questions and get answers from someone who is having the similar feelings as I do.

[Sharon]

First of all, it is not necessary for everyone to see a therapist. If you are transsexual and plan on starting hormone therapy, however, it will be necessary. Endocrinologists don't just hand out prescriptions at the asking -- they want to be assured that someone has professionally diagnosed you as being TS.

Otherwise, therapists are just there for those who need them. But you may be shocked at how many people think they have everything figured out when, in fact, they don't. The forum is great and has been more beneficial to me than I could ever describe, but it's tough to beat that immediate back-and-forth you can have with someone who knows how to prod you. And it's more difficult to simply dismiss the other person's views when they are there in front of you expecting a reason why.

[tamarav]

Its just that a lot of us are lost without a second opinion...

[Emily Anderson]

Therapy is a two-way street, in which you can only expect to get out as much as you put in, and only hope that the therapist is able to provide you as much value as you're willing to provide insight into your wants/needs.

It's quite a delicate balance really, because the patient/therapist relationship needs to be a good match, otherwise one or the other will be left feeling frustrated.

Most people don't need therapy, at least not from a therapist. Usually, a good set of friends, or at least one good friend with insight into your personality is sufficient. For some people, on the other hand, a third-party can be a good way of validating one's concerns.

[Bernadina]

I'm still looking for a therapist that does windows.

[LaurenS.]

Rayne,
A therapist is someone that can help you get through difficult times. It's someone to talk to, to confide in and share your most intimate thoughts. Some may be so fortunate to have a friend to talk to but many don't. A therapist can be that friend. They can give you good advice or direction.
Some sessions are better than others. Sometimes you leave thinking you don't need to go anymore and the next session you're so thankful to be going. Therapy isn't for everyone but it's been a great help to me.
Lauren:)

[Melissa A.]

Having peers and other like-minded people to talk to is a wonderful thing. But we aren't trained to ask the right questions to someone who truly needs therapy, or who thinks they may be a transexual. Non-proffesionals aren't qualified to diagnose or attempt to solve many different issues. Please be careful taking advice in forums or chatrooms. I happen to be a Room Monitor in a TG chatroom where most of the people are very friendly and empathetic. But I always tell folks facing serious issues that while we are there to support and help, we are not qualified proffesionals, especially when it comes to imortant mental health issues. Unfortunately, Deppression and and alot of horrible related consequenses are too common in the trans community. They need to treated by a proffesional. But as Sharon said, Not everyone is in need of therapy (although I happen to think it's an important tool that usually works, if one takes it seriously), and sometimes all ya need is a sympathetic ear or two. Chatrooms and forums are for fun, friendship, a sense of community, and sharing experiences. All very important. But not for solving mental health issues.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[crossdrezzer1]

you have to hide this part of you every day because the world doesnt understand,, wouldnt that make one a little off? maybe thats why they talk about theripy alot,,,

[crystalann]

Hello, For myself I had always wanted to see a therapist but where I live I couldn't find one that worked with the transgender but after seeing her I came out to my best friend and found a transgender lady only a few blocks from my house. And now on hrt and people that do not know about me starting transition have said you seem so clam now so for some its the only way to go. And my therapist was the first one I ever talked to about it. Good luck on whatever you choose in your life

[Angel.Marie76]

My $.02 goes along the lines of this: I've been dressing off and on for years, and for whatever reason my femme side's been screaming to get out more... While placing your thoughts and ideas out on the forum here, when it comes down to questions like: Do I think I'm ready to handle the outside world? What about this or that? Is it my future to transition or just be a quiet closeted CD for the rest of my life or a while?? -- Having someone like a therapist is good to bounce those ideas off of.

While many of these questions you might find yourself answering based on experiences and content contained within, a therapist's job is to learn who YOU are (I assume of course) and help give you guidance in making those decisions when and where they're right for you based on their understanding.

Lastly, in regards to HRT, and separately, legal issues, it is often handy, if not required by certain circumstances, to have the advice of a certified professional by your side when it comes to particular situations and events. If you have custody issues with children, ABSOLUTELY! for example...

As i've said before, therapy is not for everyone, and myself going to a therapist I thought would never happen, but I concede, my GID-related questions were FAR more than I could handle quickly AND I fit the custody issues situation above.

[~Kelly~]

I see a lot of people who look at therapists as mere "gate keepers" to getting what they want. Whether it be HRT letters, SRS letters, or even just validation. However, there is a reason they were put in that position. For as many people who view them in that light, there is an equal number of people who would blatantly abuse the medical advancements we have now on a whim, only to be frustrated down the road as to why they are STILL not satisfied. Some may say that it is their body and they have a right to do with it as they please. Well, yes and no. Without therapist supervision to regulate the eligibility of transitioning, the rates of dissatisfaction would skyrocket. This would bring a serious disapproval from the general public as to the effectiveness of treatment and then be a rather difficult obstacle for ANYONE who truly NEEDS to transition. The system in place is a good system. Sometimes the red tape can be frustrating but it is there for a reason. I would rather deal with the tape than the alternatives.

[kristyk]

I worked out a lot of skeltons in my closet through a therapist sometimes it is greta to talk to someone who will give you information or advice or maybe a different way to look at the issue. I will probably see my therapist a few times this year kind of a check up on my mind to make sure it is all working corerctly.
KristyK

[Lisa Golightly]

It's good to talk.

[akaCathy]

I'm going to start seeing a therapist next week, March, 2009. I need an impartial, objective person to listen to what I say and help me to pull all these feelings out that I've spent a lifetime cramming back in the box.

Cathy

[Kimberley]

This forum and a few VERY VERY special people here were a significant part of my therapy in that they supported the directions my therapist was directing me. They had already been there and knew the drill so their assistance helped me through the process of self acceptance.

What they were not is a substitute for my therapist in any way. The therapist helped me come to terms with how my past was affecting me today. That let me tear down barriers I had put in place as defense mechanisms.

The people here were smart enough to not tell me what to do but were candid with me in sharing their own intimate experiences to help me see that I wasnt the only one. Along the way I got my bum kicked once in a while for stupidity but it was always done because they cared.

So, this forum was a part of my therapy but it wasnt my therapy nor could it ever have been a surrogate for that. This is why I am adamant about people undertaking therapy but not Cognitive or Behaviour Therapy but Humanist/Existentialist therapy where it is client centered not behaviour centered. Today, I believe I am a better person, more aware of the traps I can fall into and above all; honest with myself first and that is the greatest gift I have ever received. It is a gift I gave myself and only because of the therapy could I have given and received it.

:hugs:
Kimberley