No longer hanging by a thread

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year and to thank the members of crossdressers.com for all of the love, support, and advice during the difficult year that I have had. Despite covid and everyone's own difficulties this year your continued support has been a lifesaver. I honestly do not think that I could have made it to the New Year without you.

Right before Christmas I felt like I was hanging by a thread. My depression had seemed to have a life of its own and I felt as if it were a roaring wind pulling me deeper down and removing my ability to think clearly. I had missed several days of work and was drinking far more than I ever would have normally. I finally listened to the advice that a forum member had given me in a PM and I called my family doctor and told them what was going on and how I was feeling. I was told to come in immediately. After several long conversations with my doctor I was prescribed an anti depression medication and referred to see the clinics therapist.

Lexipro is a wonderful medication and coupled with a little therapy I have been feeling much better. I no longer feel like I am battling just to take my next breath. I have a long way yet to go but I know that I have the love and support of my daughter, brother and this forum to help me get through the divorce and whatever decision I should make regarding transition. Thank you!

With Love
Rachel

Rachel,

I don't know that we've ever directly interacted, but I just want to say that I am proud of you for making the decision to seek help. There is no shame in it, and I'm glad that you were able to find a positive path forward. I wish nothing but the best for you on your journey as we start fresh in a new year!

Amelia

Be confident knowing that this will pass in time & Rachel can be free & at peace.

Rachel, been there, done that. People do not understand what it is like unless they have been there. Proud of you for talking to the doctor. I know you still have a lot to deal with, but you can do it. You have people who care about you.

We all love you Rachel. I have found that this is a great place to be. We all need to support each other in times of need or delight. Best of luck not only to you but all of OUR sisters. Hugs to all Cassie!!!!

Hi Rachel,

That is great! Have a wonderful 2021!

Marion

Please know even though we never met, you matter to me. Never think you are alone in this.

Hugs. Natalie

Glad to hear you are taking positive steps.

I was in the same place back in July and also started lexipro. It helped tremendously with my anxiety.

My gender therapist has definitely been my life saver.

Here?s to a happy and healthy 2021.

CDRachel, I, and som others here can sure relate. I have been very close to suicide, the last ten yrs, with severe depression, and also my HSP condition. Highly Sensitive Person brain. My family of origin big problems, and my own lifetime issues, plus neighbor problems, my singleness and isolated life. I was in the VA hospital mental health ward for 4 days after telling my VA psychiatrist, in Dec 2017. They took my off prozac and lithium, and put me on Venlafaxine, the generic of Effexir. I spelled it wrong i think. I also take vitamins and minerals, and have pets to love. Went to mental health recovery classes twice a week for a month, and met other veterans who had been suicidal. It really helped. But, since then, have had near suicidal days or nights, but pray , and cry, and exercise, and get out, and actually got a part time job in 2020!.. I am 66yo lifetime single off and on CD. Guilt and shame and fear, and isolation, have been things, as will as family shame, in my life all my life. It is one day at a time. 12 step meetings help also, but with covid, they are pretty shut down now. We have to use all the tools we can find, and the serenity helps, knowing not one human being is perfect, or without some thing secret they have to deal with. Most are in denial. One day at a time.

Hi Rachel, thanks for sharing and glad that you are going uphill now. Being surrounded by people who love and support you, especially in this holiday period, is very important. Medical assistance was the right thing to do too, and the fact that your doctor is not just giving you pills but also making sure that a specialist follows you is a good thing. Get all the help you can.
Good luck and give us news again soon.

Rachel you are beautiful, you have a wonderful future ahead of you, I have been there too fighting depression, always, always remember there is a future and it will get better for you.