CD'ing and your GG's children

I was talking with a CD friend of mine, who is on this forum, and mentioned in conversation that when I was dating a CD that my daughter had gone out with us with him dressed. My friend replied that it was amazing that this man not only had a GG willing to accept him but also my daughter. I hadn't thought much about it until then but my daughter, who is a hair stylist, even helped him do his makeup and hair.

Until my friend had mentioned how amazing it was that my child's acceptance would have meant so much to him I hadn't given it much thought. It just kind of helped me to see how isolated and closeted that many CD's have to live. Of course when dating one has to live through the experience of their partner's family's acceptance or rejection but CD'ing would add a whole new layer of anxiety for the CD that I had never realized until my friend mentioned it.

So, I thought I would throw the idea out there and ask other CD's what their thoughts would be if they not only had a GG that accepted them but also her daughter who accepted it to the level of helping you do makeup and hair and going out to a club with you dressed?

I would hope that the GG I fall in love with, would raise their children to NOT be judgmental upon things that in the grand scheme of things matter not one whit. The fact I CD should not make my character as a decent person better or worse (I have seen some CDs that were still intolerant of others which blows my mind). I would want very much for the offspring of my lover to accept all manner of people, not just CDs. I would also hope they would shun those that truly deserve to be shunned. Our society shuns for the most part the wrong people and "praise" the ones that deserve to be shunned. You know...those people that purposefully ruin lives, or get a joy out of hurting others, and other such horrible examples of humanity.

True and I did raise my daughters to be accepting of all others. However, a parent can bring them up and they still be closed minded to many things. I just wondered how many CD's are able to let their GG's children know about their dressing or they have to keep it in the closet with them.

The guy I dated hadn't even told his own grown daughter so my daughters knew things about him his daughter didn't know.

Well, I am married, but keeping in step with the main thought... I have a GG friend that has a teenage daughter. She has openly stated to me that she wants to raise her daughter to be accepting to all. Have I dressed in front of her? Now I am not even sure. I have been over to their place dressed enough times for it to happen, but CRS is in the way. I have had her mother help me choose make-up at an Ulta with her standing there commenting. She is pretty much ambivalent.

As you know, for most of us single CD's, finding an accepting woman is our holy grail for a relationship. Finding one whose children and family also accepted would be like dying and going to heaven. I would have no problem coming out to a partner's children if that ever became an opportunity.

I would suspect that I had died and gone to heaven. :)

The woman I married was totally non-accepting, no compromise, ignorant about crossdressing and refused to learn about it. She felt that the counselors we saw who told her that it would be best if she could come to terms with me being a CD were "against" her. She wouldn't consider that CD'ing was anything other than one step above child molesting, so I can't imagine how indescribably wonderful it would be to be in the situation that you've described.

Carol

This is the ultimate dream scenario... acceptance from those closest to you...

Well my SO has 4 kids, and while they all know about me, and are very acepting, we have a unique set of circumstnaces.....
Oldest son = gay, married, and he and his husband are about to adopt a child
Middle son, = Miltary man, GG wife and kids
Only Daughter = Lesbian
Youngetst son = Redneck, but I think being raised arround such things has made him acepting of alternitive lifestyles.

I would suspect that I had died and gone to heaven.

The woman I married was totally non-accepting, no compromise, ignorant about crossdressing and refused to learn about it. She felt that the counselors we saw who told her that it would be best if she could come to terms with me being a CD were "against" her. She wouldn't consider that CD'ing was anything other than one step above child molesting, so I can't imagine how indescribably wonderful it would be to be in the situation that you've described.

Carol


Wow, Carol, that's how this man's whole family treated him after his ex-wife insisted that he tell them when getting divorced. You would have thought with me as his only social support system he would have done more to hold onto what he had. And yet nothing I did was good enough for him or the fact that my youngest daughter accepted him whole heartedly. I didn't even realize what a plus that was til my friend mentioned that too me when I mentioned her going out with us in passing. All I heard from this man was how he gave all and got nothing in return (which was totally untrue) and now to learn that he had that much extra going for him with my daughter's acceptance only makes me think his issues are bigger than I initially realized. Some people can hold the whole world in their hands and let it slip right through their fingers.

Let me add that now that my daughter has seen how irrational and delusional he is she has told me over and over that she never wants me to talk to him again. It has nothing to do with his CD'ing but the fact that he's a nasty individual.

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

As you know, for most of us single CD's, finding an accepting woman is our holy grail for a relationship. Finding one whose children and family also accepted would be like dying and going to heaven. I would have no problem coming out to a partner's children if that ever became an opportunity.

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I only WISH this had been true for the CD I dated. I would have gladly given the rest of my life to love and accept him and participate at my comfort level, which I think would have grown and grown had he just stepped back and given me the time I needed but sadly, his selfishness won out.

Lately I find myself missing all the little extra things that I did for him. It brought me great happiness to do things to make him happy. I just hope I get the chance for someone to come into my life so that I can love them with all my being and that the next time it will be appreciated and reciprocated.

Wow WsprsOnTheWind, you sound so much like me. Or at least your situation sounds the same, though yours was doubtless deeper than mine. I question if I will ever help someone, or try to show that I care as much as I did. Question however does not mean I will never do it again, but I will be very very wary of things before doing as I did. What would be grand is if I meet someone that is well adjusted enough where she only needs my love and affection, and her being with me is because she WANTS to be with me rather than needs help from me.

This is not only a CD thing though, this happens in all circles of life. People who do not deserve to be treated like dirt, get such treatment, and those that do deserve dirt treatment are placed on pedestals and worshiped like gods.

I think I will love again. I'll just be more careful and make sure next time it's someone who is truly worthy of my love.

I happen to be blessed with the situation you described. Not only is my gilrfriend ultra accepting (and encouraging and supportive) but her children are too. Her daughter is 20 and has seen me dressed. She spent an evening helping me choose wigs and colors and has helped pick out more than a few items for me to wear, including a ring she picked out for me that quite frankly I feel like I am not dressed any more unless I wear it. Like someone said earlier, my own daughters do not know about this side of me yet and here I am fully accepted by my girlfriends daughter. My girlfriends son is accepting too. He is 14 and I had many many misgivings about letting him see me. Finally his mom asked him one day if he knew about it and he said he knew - he had seen me months earlier and neither one of us knew about it. It is absolutely a blessing.

My Wife told her twin boys about her new friend liked to dress up,but we waited till a cpl of months after we met in person to introduce them to Sophie,the two lads were brand new with me and they were fine with being around Sophie,last week was their birthday and they both gave me a great big hug,Im lucky I Know that they are ok with it,where my own son is dead set against it.thats my only regret

Sophie

It's great to read your stories of love and acceptance. Keep em coming.

I'm blessed to have an SO who is accepting and sometimes participates, but am even more blessed that my BI daughter thinks my being a CD is absolutely fantastic and loves to do my nails (foot and hand) AND has enough fashion sense to actually pick out clothes for me. While I've never had a BI experience myself, she also knows I am BI in outlook towards life even when drab, but also while in Femme mode. While in Femme mode it's possible to fantasize about the prospect of being fully female in the sex department without actually performing in that capacity.

Caitlyn,

I have come to realize that my ex-CD bf was also BI when in femme. He denied that and I am not sure he was denying it to himself or he really knows and was simply lying to me about it. He was too caught up in being a woman and fantasizing about totally being sexually treated like a woman to not be bisexual. I am honestly not sure how I would have dealt with that if he had openly admitted that to me. It probably would have been a deal breaker b/c of my preferences not in the reguard that I couldn't have accepted that about him, I certainly can. However, accepting something about someone does not mean that the attraction to date them will be there. I just would not want to date someone who is bisexual as the attraction for me is not there. That particular lifestyle does not fit into what my needs are in a relationship and from here on I have to be true to myself as well as my partner. I think it's great that you have that acceptance from your own daughter as many have already said their children do not know and more often than not it's the GG's children that do.

I am fortunate to have a wonderful wife, who accepts thsi other side of me, I doubt that she will ever be ready to go out with me, But if I were to find myself in that type of a situation, with a great woman and children that accept and assist in the experience, It would truely be a dream come true. Certain a woman to be cherished and times to be remembered forever.

I think it would be easier for at least myself to find a female that is Bi, but is also monogamous (oh how old school :P), The Bi part would help with excepting and liking me in "fem" mode. Maybe I am wrong there though. What I would really like is someone that separates someone's look and style from mental stability, and sexuality.

Pythos,

I really don't think she would have to be bi to accept you in femme. There are many women out there who aren't but are very accepting.

I think I'd just be happy with a man who didn't hang a price tag on everything he does for anyone. It's a little unusual to get a bill from an ex for everything he did for you. I shouldn't have expected any less though as he did tell me he has a log of every dime he's ever spent on his children and his ex-wife. I just want someone to love and be able to love me in return and not put a dollar amount on it. Just like you want someone to love and accept you for who you are.

WsprsOnTheWInd, sorry to hear that your CD friend didn't appreciate you. I sincerely hope that you soon find your special someone. Hang in there! :)

Carol :hugs:

I told my accepting SO a few months into our relationship when things were looking serious. She has 4 kids ages 20-14, 3 girls and one boy. The oldest found out by accident ( I won't go into the details) and was very accepting, the two youngest were told a few years later and have also accepted me. All have seen me dressed at various times and we have gone out to symphonies and restaurants together with me dressed, all without issues. The second oldest daughter still does not know since she has been the most resistant to my relationship with her mother and is the most closed minded of all the siblings. Since she in a private school thousands of miles from where we live it has been easy hiding that small fact from her. My own children have not been told and they are full grown with their own family and children. I may someday tell them but I have not had the courage to do that I will, however admit to it if I were to be confronted by either of them. One lives in the same town as I but the other lives on the other side of the country. One could possibly reject me solely on his religous beliefs, the other most likely would be open minded to it, but I am not 100% sure about either one.

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Originally Posted by Julogden

WsprsOnTheWInd, sorry to hear that your CD friend didn't appreciate you. I sincerely hope that you soon find your special someone. Hang in there! :)

Carol :hugs:

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Carol, the word friend couldn't be used even by a stretch of the imagination regarding him. I've got a couple prospects on the line currently. <wink>

Laura, I can see where the "religious" issue would be a problem for some. That would have been an issue for my parents and some of the rest of my family had they known. Luckily my youngest daughter is open minded and accepting of things.