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So for those of us who we're not born and grew up thinking we were girls. What made you realize that you were not a crossdresser but transgendered person?
I'm on the fence. I feel now transgender but I didn't feel that way as a child. I guess I was to busy being bullied and just trying to survive childhood that I don't remember transgender feelings.
I'm not sure there is any "realization" per se, just feelings. We know when something just "feels right" regardless of what anyone else says. Then it's up to us to take any necessary steps to be happy.:)
I think for me it was more like the opposite, it's when I realised I wasn't actually just a crossdresser. Actually I'm a pretty terrible crossdresser dressing for comfort more than sexiness and glamour. Not so much a realisation as an acceptance of what I am. There was no one moment for me but it was gradual over about a year or so.
Also in retrospect I could see that I was in denial for a long time. I knew all along but couldn't accept it.
Briana I completly understand where you are coming from. I don't have any memory of thinking I was a girl as a child. No though I have started having some more transgender feelings. Right now I would probably classify myself as TG but not TS....I am definetly a little bit come than a crossdresser though.
I started the other way around, sort of... I crossdress because I realized I was TG, and it makes me feel better.
What really cemented it recently, was (1) getting my ears pierced, and (2) realized I wanted feminine casual clothes, not just dresses... So stretchy pants, cami, and sweater. It's just comfortable.
The ears thing... It's a constant sign to me of who I am inside.
Growing up I never was into boy stuff and would played with girls toys, connected better with girls then boys, CD'ed, and very feminine in a lot of ways, but I never had that feeling of I was born in the wrong body. I don't if was do to my upbringing or some other reason. As I got into adulthood I began dressing more and it felt natural and at one point the desire and feeling of being a women hit me a ton of bricks.
If feelings grow stronger then I feel seeing your doctor who would then refer you to a gender therapist if you feelthat way inclined.
Calling transgenderism 'the next step' of cross-dressing is a crude oversimplification of the transgender spectrum. Also, there's no such thing as 'just a cross-dresser'. If you want to know if your cross-dressing urges are the result of a transgender gender identity consult a therapist.
Since I started very late and very suddenly, I didn't understand there was a difference for a number of years. All I knew was that Tina suddenly appeared and the only way we saw to lead her life, where ever that might be, was to let her be as feminine as she wanted...and she did/does want. So, I crossdress because I'm transgendered (bigendered?), starting from a full stop.
Personally I think there is way too much hang up of the term transgender. It is an umbrella term for anyone who acts, feels or does things (such as crossdressing) of the opposite sex. I am not saying anyone needs to consider themselves TG because they CD, no one has to consider themselves anything. I do consider myself to be transgendered. I feel more feminine than the average guy does. I can relate to women better than most guys do. Dressing in women's clothing is enjoyable to me, and is a way to express myself and connect to the femininity I feel. If it was free, and no one at all would have a problem if I were to go 24/7 or transition, I still wouldn't. I still enjoy being a guy. I do not think that being TG is some form of gender purgatory. To each their own though.
I do believe you hit the nail on the head for me!
Once I came out to my wife a couple of years ago, and we tried to figure it out, it became pretty clear that I had always been more interested in girls and feminine things, but didnt know what to do about it. Most of my girl friends enjoyed me because I was much more gentle than the other guys.
The only exception to me femme side, is cars, but I have very few friends that are into the mechanics of cars. most of them know all the Nascar numbers, but couldn't tell a finigin pin from a dooly wahop. So I put on my sports bra, small forms and off to the Garage I go.
So am I TG. who knows. All I do know is that now I have to work at bringing Bob out, instead of working to bring Bobbi out. I much prefer my day to be in a dress, and that's where my day always starts.
Bobbi
For a long time I considered myself a crossdresser. And that may indeed be what I am. I have discussed with my psychologist if I am transsexual and she just tells me I am "fluid". It is a bit frustrating because I have been seeing her for years.
I HOPE I'm making sense here, for what its worth I 'underdressed' from around age 8, but it was never enough,to full-fill myself,I struggled with my inner self for years, bore my own personal cross, totally because of 'my peers' around me, at the time,now I have no pressure and im free to explore myself, my inner self, I only wish i could turn my life clock back ,and start over, with the knowledge i have now.
First of all I really don't think that it's the next step, I just needed a title. However, I do think many of us start with CDing and then realize that these clothes fit us better. I think that was the question at the heart of the matter. What was the feeling or process that made you determine you were really a female and not just a crossdresser?Quote:
Originally Posted by Zylia
Fair enough. Maybe we're too hung up on the whole concept of feeling something, e.g. feeling feminine, girly, a woman, et cetera, some kind of special feeling that reveals our true gender. Having the urge to present yourself as a woman (not as part of some kind of fetish) obviously make people doubt their gender identity. So what came first? The cross-dressing urges or the so-called transgender or 'fluid' identity?
What matters most is how you see or think of yourself. Is your male body just a vessel of your female identity that you express through cross-dressing? Is the female you just an expression of a part of your identity? Do you just want to look like a woman for one reason or another?
Yes... it's that way with Emily.Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbimo
Regarding the OP: I think it became more when I began reflecting on my life, my choices, and my preferences. I haven't changed much (except that maybe I've calmed down a bit) But what I have always done, how I've behaved, when looked at under the TG light seems to fit into that arena.
So, have I always been this... I think so, but I couldn't see the forest for the trees so to speak.
Ok, I'm putting the label discussion aside, and addressing the question. I realized that dressing was, for me,more than a fetish or sexual kink long ago. I knew I was different even as a young child. But a child doesn't know what TG is. And as a teen, when I was old enough to know....even as an adult I lived with a fear that people could see that I was different...I was so uncomfortable whenever any story about transsexuals came on the tv....so sure it would reveal my secret....and I was so afraid I would inevitably be force by personal need to go down that path myself.
Really, it is all about you and how you feel as a woman. Making that final step, is, well, a huge step. Being a CD is one thing, being a true T-girl quite another. It takes a lot of courage to begin HRT and you really need to be committed to that..........the fact your body will change and you will become a woman and everything that goes with that. Instead of just wearing a bra for fun, you will need to starting wearing them. And then, the hardest part.......work, will your employers accept you as a woman and what washroom facilities are available to you?
I have no regrets with doing what I have done...........full HRT, to this day I am not sure that I will go through with full SRS, but I really love the woman I have become, real, natural breasts and a ladylike form.
Last but not least.......it matters not that you wear a girl c**k in your panties, lots of women like us do.
Kisses and best of luck!
For me I think it was when I realized that the clothes were not the end, but the means to an end.
Somewhere along the line it stopped being so important "what" I was wearing (meaning dresses vs jeans) and more important that they provided the means by which I could demonstrate to others just how I felt inside.
It's not progressing from CD to TG (whatever that means).
It's misidentifing yourself as a CD when you are Gender-Nonconforming or perhaps TS.
I have a need, urge, from deep within the unconscious, to CD. Thus I define myself as being TG.
I do not have a need to be female, nor appear female. I just need to cross dress in order to satisfy that need, urge, from deep within.
When I cross dress I feel good about myself, I feel confident and enjoy being me. I would not really call myself CD here but Trans or bi-gender. I feel feminine, I like being feminine, it is not so much that I am trying to copy women or act the part, this is how I feel. At the same time I do not hate my male self, I am for once starting to like all of me and be comfortable with who I am. To those that do not understand gender spectrum to well but are open minded I usually explain that I am a CD, not as a fetish, but it is just how I feel comfortable with myself.
Transgender - the umbrella term for crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestites etc... so you aren't going to the next step because it's an umbrella term people need to start learning, threads like these are becoming annoying because all you're doing is spreading confusion.
Thread done.