Being watched

I'm sure this will have happened to others when out and about. That feeling that you're being watched as you walk along. A guy outside smoking gazing at you as you pass by on the other side of the road.

Initially my first reaction was to think I'd been read but when I looked back I began to view things differently.

Out one night, it's dark but not too late, early evening, I'm walking down a residential street. The boots I have on have plastic tips to the heels, one of which is worn so the metal stud is hitting the pavement making that distinctive sound.

There's a guy stood on the front door step smoking and I'm deeply aware that he's watching me. Spidy senses tell me. At the time I'm thinking I've been read but I later came to the conclusion I experienced what GG's experience, an uncomfortable level of attention. A voyeuristic episode bordering on sexual harassment.

It's a fine line between admiration towards an attractive GG and an intrusive prolonged stare.

As I say, I used to think it was me being read but as I've come to realise that as I can do a decent job of blending perhaps my initial interpretation of these situations was wrong. Not read, ogled.

So while I may never feel like a woman, I can experience what a woman feels and in doing so gain ever greater empathy for the lot of women.

When I first dressed it was clubbing in safe clubs in manchester, so short skirts etc fine. but going out in public is a whole different game, I first made the mistake of dressing like a hooker (wrong!), as you already know Helen the trick is to blend in, when im out I always look st other women who are going about there daily lifes and see what they are wearing.
Blending in is the secret, you would be surprised how easy it is not to be clocked, but also a bit of confidence goes a long way. And when I am feeling watched, I know its because I am a woman.

There is safety in numbers. The hunters and the hunted prove the old saying the lone wolf is easy prey. The few times I was on the receiving end of female lust was enjoyable, and usually I met them half way. The ego enjoys the attention, but being safe is more important. Usually after you catch the fish you end up throwing it back in. Be safe Helen.

I dress to blend and when out I hope I attract no more attention than any other GG. I'm sure I have been looked at but I ignore it and carry on my way. So far I have had no negative issues while out.

You speak the truth of it Helen. I can certainly empathise with real women more than I could before. The first time out for me as the 'full Daisy' and the very first person I walked past looked me up and down twice with a disconcerting stare. I said to wifey "Ahhh the very first person knows I am a man", she just laughed and said "that was not the 'I've spotted a tranny' stare, that was the 'I'll just undress that woman and imagine her under me' stare, welcome to womanhood". She was right. The next 10 people (all women) didn't give a second glance, nor did the children and old man that followed, then the next passer by was a man in his 40's, and yes you guessed it, he did the full visual sexual assault. Genetic women, I apologise for mens' behaviour, it is deplorable at times.

I believe there are always “people watchers” in public. I’m one. Many times, when I see an attractive woman, I think “how would that look on me?”, which could be misinterpreted as a stare. This causes me to do my best to blend in. In our town, during the day, women dress very casually...very..no makeup, heels, hose, etc. These things are immediate attention getters, which I’ve learned. I haven’t worn heels for a long time, but I do wear hose, which have been noticed, but I just go on my merry way. Night time is different.

I know everyone likes to male bash for the stare, but I have an interesting story to relate from a GG taking hormone therapy (becoming male). He described an unexpected effect. He became acutely aware that he was unconsciously ogling and that he was "stimulated" visually. When telling the story, he said it had created sympathy for GMs.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NancySue

I believe there are always “people watchers” in public. I’m one. Many times, when I see an attractive woman, I think “how would that look on me?”, which could be misinterpreted as a stare. This causes me to do my best to blend in. In our town, during the day, women dress very casually...very..no makeup, heels, hose, etc. These things are immediate attention getters, which I’ve learned. I haven’t worn heels for a long time, but I do wear hose, which have been noticed, but I just go on my merry way. Night time is different.

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I think that same thing. The other thought that often goes through my head in summertime, especially, is attractive woman, nice outfit, crappy shoes.

Sometimes there's a difference between watching and Watching. It's kind of in the body language rather than the physical act of pointing your eyes at someone. I had a friend who went to Paris and she came back totally in love with the city and gushed, "It was so wonderful walking down the street and having the men watch me." Which surprised me since she had always been a pretty fierce feminist who spoke harshly about men watching her on the street in Boston. So I asked about that and she said, "It's not the same. In Paris men watched me like they were looking at art in a museum -- they appreciated me but understood they didn't own me. Over here, men look at women like predators watching prey."

I'll have to admit I am guilty of watching women walk by. But it is genetic, my DNA I am programmed to be attracted to women. I have even asked my shrink about it and he agrees. Now I am just looking and dreaming certainly not lusting Well maybe a little but only in my fantasy.

I have also noticed it when Sallee is out and about and getting ogled and I dress to blend and seldom put that short skirt on or garrish makeup unless I am clubbing it and that is pretty much just a fantasy at this point too.
Maybe I am getting read and I was just hoping it was my striking beauty

Long ago a waitress came up to me and told me to stop staring at her! I didn't realize I was doing it. Looking at the most beautiful woman in sight is something I tend to do. Staring seems to happen when I'm kind of daydreaming while looking.

As far as dressing in public, there's a part of me that wants to be noticed by men. But there's also the fear of getting too much of the wrong kind of attention.

I have had female friends that have said the same thing about Paris and or towns in Italy when they visited.
I think its more about they are in a different place away from their homes than it is about men being different.
Men are the same all over the world so I don't totally agree with your friend Pat.
I have had European men hit me up online and they can be just like men here in the USA obnoxious,overbearing,childish,rude, sexist you name it.

Helen,
I had an interesting experience yesterday , I was in a shop holding my wire basket , when a couple walked past , I can't say what caught the husbands eye but I could sense he wasn't shopping but hanging about near me to have several good looks I could see him out the corner of my eye , his wife must have cottoned on and called him away . I have to say it didn't bother me I was more intent on choosing some day lotion , there could have been any number of reasons why he hung about .

Put it this way if you CD or a MtF trans person you will get looked at and thats just the way it is.

I remember one of the first times I ever dressed in public, my wardrobe didn't really have anything suitable for the street. So I ended up going for a walk on some quiet streets in a short skirt, high heels and fishnet tights. I did not wander too far from my car, but needless to say the flash of leg caught the attention of a driver passing by. It was dark out, illuminated by streetlighting.

Out of the corner of my eye i could see him slow down for a better look. My heart was racing but I resisted looking around and kept waling in the direction of my car. I then heard him speed up and pull into a vacant yard. He was turning around! I picked up the pace, crossed over to the car park where my car was, sat in and locked the door. I saw his car pull into the carpark and drive around. He clearly didnt see me get into my car and I pulled off and drove away before he spotted me.

What’s interesting though is if you are paying attention, even in guy mode, there are certain folks of both genders that you happen to notice looking at you that seem intent on holding a gaze, for whatever reason. This phenomenon has made me less sensitive to being looked at when dressed and out & about, as it appears it’s just the way some people are.

Sometimes if a guy is standing on his porch having a cigarette and a girl walks by he will look at her because she is more interesting than the houses across the street that are there every day and never change.

nvlady,

Your observation is a valid one. Something different is going to attract a gaze. That said I do believe that we need to carefully consider that there will be occasions were our first impulse is to think we've been read when in fact we've successfully blended/passed as a GG.

The occurrences I can think of where I've been aware of being observed for an extended period of time were both at night under relatively poor street lighting and viewed at a distance. It's not surprising that our first response is to believe we've been read. It's almost our default position. It could be that we do ourselves somewhat of an injustice and project a better femme image that we first imagine and so attract the same reaction from the viewer that a GG would. Those little gremlins sit on our shoulders whispering negativity all to often.

Pleasing to our ego as that may be it's nevertheless something the vast majority of GG's find unpalatable, witness the rise in the #metoo campaign seeking the end to discrimination of females in all it's forms. As the parent of two daughters I can only wish that they are able to live in a world of equal advantage. Sexual interaction is a necessary part of human existence. It just needs to be at the right time and the right place.

And in truth, as a male I can be as guilty of it as anyone. I'm only now having been out and about for a while beginning to realise what the reality is for women in society.

From the viewpoint of my male side looking at women there are two types that get a second look. There are women who have poise, nicely dressed and have a well maintained body. On the other extreme there are women who attract a second look because they are the extreme opposite. More of a spectacle than spectacular. I'm six foot and 200 pounds but well maintained. I am going to get the second look just because of my height. I just want myself projected to be non threatening to those who do not understand men who wear women's clothing.

I look at everyone some longer than others! Human nature! If some one looks at me I may or may not notice! As long as they keep their hands to themselves they are not hurting me! I am tolerant to a greater or lesser degree but I take crap off no one! Oh, I sound so tough, LOL ! Just my rant! Hugs Lana Mae

Helen,
On the whole I still feel it's more of a woman's World , maybe I'm only seeing from the UK point of view but the majority of men do appear to spend most of their life pleasing their female partners . That doesn't mean we can't look at distractions humans do appear to be drawn to what is not necessarily attrcative , we tend to look if it is out of the ordinary either it suggests an attractive proposition or a possible threat . It brings into mind the thread about the honking truck driver , he was obviously attracted to something but we will never know his motives .

It's funny how your own family situtation dictates your thoughts, you feel your daughter's need that protection , I have a son and daughter , I tried to protect my daughter but wanted my son to go out and find some action , meet the girls . ( He didn't need much encouragement , I guess like father like son !!)

I think I am watched for being a woman.

Occasionally there is a reaction that makes me wonder.