S.O. Won’t let me shave my legs

I’m currently in a long term relationship with a lovely woman who knows about my cross dressing side. We’ve been together for almost two years now and she’s come to accept (but not actively participate) the fact that I am a cross dresser. When I initially came out to her about one year ago we almost broke up and have seldomly talked about it ever since. Recently, I’ve dropped some playful hints that I want to shave my legs, which always end in a firm no.

Ive shaved my legs in the past and really want that feeling back again. Have any of you ladies been successful in convincing your S.O. to let you shave? Any tips you can give?

<3 Jess~

Humm, maybe asking was the mistake. I’ve been shaving for 15 years and I just went for it. Didn’t ask. Wife noticed shortly after. Freaked out a little at first. I was a big time runner and biker at the time and just kind of told her it was the thing, and it did seem more comfortable. I was in heaven! I still run and bike, not like I use to, but the legs are still smooth year round. She hasn’t said a word about it in years, with the exception of an occasional “your legs are always smoother than mine.” Guess it doesn’t bother her. Lucky me! -Meg

Hey Megan, that is lucky! Without her approval I’m kinda stuck, no doubt she will know my reasons for shaving at this point.

I wouldn’t drop any hints. I would just tell her that you would really like to shave your legs and ask her how she feels about it. Remind her that it isn’t permanent. Hair grows back, just see how it goes.

Alll the best with it.

I was shaving my legs before I met my wife, so it has not been an issue.

My advice is whether you think the benefit of rocking the boat is worth the risk your lady will be thrown overboard. If shaving is worth the risk she decides to leave you, would it still be worth it?

Even though she doesn't like to talk about it, how about discussing having a trial? You shave your legs with the agreement that the two of you will discuss how to go forward after your hair grows back, say in a month. You can make it into a new year's resolution so that she knows you will be doing it only once a year if she still isn't on board after the month.

This gives you a little of what you want while still respecting her feelings.

Good luck!

Sami

I started 17+ years ago when I took a Fall/Winter dance class: ballet/modern. When Spring came I just kept shaving. The only comments I get now is when I wait too long between shaves.

how bad do you want to be by yourself??

I have asked my wife about shaving my mustache and it was a hell no answer
be very careful they have a way of making a good thing go horribly wrong
she could say go ahead and do it but no more dressing at all or do it and I am out of here.

Sorry, but this is something that I just don't understand. Why ask for permission to do something that you want to do with your body that is not life altering. When I started to shave my legs, I just did it and received the comments later. I will not deny I have said something about shaving off facial hair before doing it, but that was as a warning than seeking permission. My wife is accepting of me, there are things that I do that she admits that she just doesn't understand, but she knows who I am on the inside and a little hair here or there is not a life changing event. Does anyone's spouse ask permission before getting a perm, or getting their hair cut, or dyed??? It's time for a little perspective here and look deeper into why someone would have a firm no about what you do or don't do with a razor.

I agree with Gillian.
Don't let your SO run your life like that because sure as hell she wouldn't let you run hers.
Just try it and see what happens.
I could go off on a rant over this subject but I would get put in the time out corner again.
If you want a deeper insight Jessicaa just PM me.

If you are thinking of a long term relationship with her, I would think it would be better to be upfront now. I started shaving all over my body shortly after I got my ears pierced. My wife knew I was heading into a more female mode at this time, but I have been honest from the start of my dressing. If you are having to ask now, what will you have to ask for in the future? It is easier to be your self. I'm just saying......

What I see here is a 23 year old guy/CD being bulldozed by his GF.
If its hair on the legs now in a few years he may not be able to do anything without asking.Just sayin.'
If she has already said get rid of your guy friends I don't like them then its over.
If you aren't married to her lay some law down now and at least she will respect you.

They're your legs ffs. Do what you like with them. Do you ask her permission to sneeze? No. Thought not.

I do get why she doesn't like it.
Many women don't and like their guys with the hair and some see it strictly as a feminine thing.
Sometimes the old saying "Forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission" is the way to go, although I don't know your situation.
Then again, its your body and as others have said, its not life changing thing ( like growing breasts) The hair will grown back...You have to be you though

The other thought I have about your original post is that you need to own the decision whether you shave or not. It's not "SO won't let me shave," it's "I'm not shaving out of concern for my SO's feelings." Or, "I am shaving regardless..." Whichever way you go, it is your choice to make.

My wife identifies as bi. She has dated women before we met. She is supportive of my dressing. We shop together. I apply makeup in front of her. I stay as well groomed as I can(clean shaven, brows plucked and neat) I shave my chest. I'm probably more girly than her when I dress. We've been out (dressed) together. She loves and accepts everything about me..... She likes her man with leg hair...? As much as I hate the hair, I'll suffer for now. I think I've got it pretty good.

Hmmm, It's your body, Try and tell her that you won't allow her to shave anything either! See what kind of response you get! Hey, It worked for me!! Huggs, Lill !!!

I will add this if you are trying to be the sensitive male that is understanding of his SO 's needs and gives in to her wants regularly you have made a big mistake.
Why you ask don't women want a sensitive understanding man?
No they don't in reality because once they know you will "give in" to anything they want they will use that trait in you to use you and step all over you.
Again been there done that ............twice. Thats right I didn't learn.
The term nice guys finish last is the truth and women will freely admit that because they want a man that will stand up to them and say no sometimes.
I don't understand it but I was told that by both my ex wives so its I believe them now.

I shave quite often and my wife has just rolled her eyes when she comes ionto the bathroom while I am shaving. At minimum ever two weeks just before a scheduled massage Bottom line is that she is used to it and accepts iot. Her only complaint is that If I let my hair grow is is too prickleyin bed. OK by me because it means that I can shave them again

Forgive me for making assumptions, but here goes?:

You didn't elaborate but during that 'almost broke up when you came out to her phase' did you make some concessions perhaps? I'm just guessing here but I think she gained some sense of 'i'll stay with you even through this but.....', otherwise known as power?

As others have mentioned at it, a spouse or SO telling you how you can look is just not healthy couple behavior.
You need to sit down and calmly tell her it's just leg hair, and many guys who for whatever non-CDing related reason, go hairless on various parts of their body.
Ask her if you've ever told her how she can look, dress, smell or otherwise present herself.

The request in this post is pretty clear:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jessicaa

Have any of you ladies been successful in convincing your S.O. to let you shave? Any tips you can give?

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What seems to have developed is a pig-pile of people rushing to tell Jessicaa her personal flaws and none offering experience or advice requested. And although I'm sympathetic to the advice, I think there has been enough.

Thread closed.