Printable View
Ladies, if you want an easy, and very safe way to get out dressed, and be seen, try a drive through food place. You will have a short interaction with someone, and be wearing a get-away car. When I have been less than fully dressed, an obvious MIAD, the attendants have ranged from very friendly to amused. Keep in mind you may be seen on a camera there, and probably recorded. Doesn't bother me. Julie
That would work. The part about being seen struck me in two ways. I have to ask the uncomfortable question: When one of us (myself included) go out, does it serve some sort of exhibitionist motive?and to that extent, is seeking to be seen a potential imposition on the unwary person that does the seeing.
I never looked at it that way - "wearing a getaway car". LOL
A warning though, if you're not ready to be "made", avoid drive-thru's. You're voice at the speaker/menu board will create one expectation, and your appearance at the window will likely be jarring to their awareness. Not saying that Julie's rationale is invalid, just that one should expect "that look" at the window.
It's been tempting to do this on one of my drives, but since it starts with practically yelling into a microphone over the noise of an engine, I just don't think I can manage it. That's not a voice I've practiced.
Yep done it a few times and it was one of my earliest times when interacting with someone.
As the employees are often young and don't see working serving burgers as their chosen career it's not uncommon for them not to show a great deal of interest who's there at their window. One of the times going through a Mac's I'm sure the server didn't even look at me as he was too busy talking to one of the other staff.
It's also got that bit easier as most now do tap and go payments so you don't have that interaction of handing over cash and getting your change back. As for them matching the voice to the face, if you're in a queue of cars then the likelihood that they'll link the two isn't that great.
And as Julie points out, you're sat there in your steel safety cell and gone from view and most likely memory as far as the server is concerned. One thing, same as shopping in store, be confident. Look at the server, be like any other customer, hey be like you but just dressed.
Kim, I have thought about the why of being seen, and the impact on the seer. While it can be a thrill to be out and seen, I do it because I’m trying to get more comfortable with myself, and feel more normal and validated. Someone who has to hide from view all the time cannot feel that way. As for the impact on the seer, I know I have gotten odd looks, and have been talked about after I am out of range. Again, I am out to try to make my being out normal, for me and anyone seeing me. I’m not out to shock anyone, that is easy to do. Julie
You?re right, Julie. Speaking for myself, I surely am not going out to shock or titillate anyone else, nor excite myself. As you said, I am in a sense seeking acknowledgement that I exist and that I am OK. Its the same reason I felt compelled to come out to my ex, some family members and co-workers.
Last time I had a confusing interchange at a drive in was at an Einstein Bagels. I was in girl mode but the guy working the window told me ? Sir come up to the window?. When I appeared he apologized profusely and told me the speaker system was quite bad and blamed misgendering me on the speakers. The speakers are terrible and it was a great recovery on his part. I paid my bill, smiled nicely, and moved along.
Zoey
I've gone thru drive thru with short skirt and bra. No one ever reacted. They did not notice or care.
I started out by being covert, nothing wrong with that.
Now I literally go out to be seen.
It always starts somewhere.
I know everyone has varying thresholds and limits, totally fine.
:)
I would say the people who work the drive thru only hear the order and see the money. If driving thru with makeup, wig and a beard they may notice you but even then probably not. Their main interest is getting the burger out the window and the car behind you and shift end. At beast you might make their shift a little more interesting
I can understand the motivation of wanting to be seen, but, really avoiding an interaction. It sounds like an non-interaction interaction. Of course, there is always the risk the interaction will not go as smoothly as one would expect. Car in front with a rear view mirror. A car in the rear looking in. I assume one chooses the least threatening venue. I only seek validation of myself from myself. I do not eat fast food. The only time I do it is when my wife is with me and she wants a Sonic corn dog. The drive through is not as quick as you think, and, definitely not always fast at the pickup/pay window. My personal preference is to take a leisurely evening stroll in my favorite quiet residential neighborhood. That neighborhood has two 24/7 grocery stores. In the early evening it is very common to see a woman coming home from work and carrying a tote with the grocery store logo on it. Sometimes I return books to the night drop off box at the library. Mail a letter at the post office. Pickup one of those free newspapers. All require some effort to get out of my car and walk to accomplish the task. Even better concealment is taking the stroll in a gently falling rain with an umbrella. The umbrella is great to conceal my manly face and somewhat obscure my height. I've passed many people and nobody has been startled. Maybe because it is the fact both of us are in motion.
Do you present a female voice? I’d have to practice….
I have gone through a couple drive throughs while fully dressed with and without makeup. I don't think most drive through attendants think about associating the voice at the kiosk with the face at the window.
However, My daily driver is a white Ford F350 Dually 4x4 with some unique graphics on the back window. The female looking person in the HUGE truck usually gets a second look and with it usually comes recognition something might be a little different or unusual.
Being seen is a big part of the experience of crossdressing in public. It seems many CDs get a thrill out of being seen. OTOH, some CDs feel that it's important for others to see cross dressed men so the public will get used to seeing us.
When I first started experimenting with going out in public I would drive around dressed in a car. One night I got pulled over my a cop. Turns out a front head light was out. I looked at him sheepishly and said I was just coming home from a party. He just said ok, gave me my ticket and off I went.
When in the army I would go through fast food drive thrus wearing women's clothing. Never had a bad experience.
Ressie, that is quite a fine phrasing of the situation. For so long I was chasing after the next thing and going out has become the playing field for so many of us. I clearly remember the first time I went out the back door, then the front door, then to the car, then drove the car, etc. At this point I've come to understand those who were saying it wasn't such a big deal and to just go for it as no one notices or cares. I would adjust that view to say that the vast majority in public don't care but those who care about you are often incredibly concerned! This assumes you dressed somewhat close to the public you are out in, a short skirt and high heels in a supermarket or McDonalds will gather quite a lot of attention!
Since summer I have been out in public for probably about 40-60 hours, in public or driving, and can say that other than two up-close face to face interactions no one seemed to care at all. One stop was at a Panera and the counter person called my name when I picked up the order, calling out my male name (should have used the Jamie cc!) and gave a quick but giggling reaction. I'm larger and was nicely dressed but at that range I don't pass. As I sat there I waited for the rest of the staff to file by on some errand or another but none did, no one in the whole place seemed to notice anything at all.
To the point of your question, do we want to be seen? For myself, I have to say yes, especially after all the effort I put in to looking that good!
Do we want to be accepted? Again I'd say yes but with a few caveats; I don't think I want the neighbors to see me out as Jamie and then stop by to borrow a lawn tool, "hey, nice look last night, those boots looked great with that dress, can I borrow the weed whacker", make sense? For me, I want to pass as close as possible as a woman, for reasons important to who I am. The hours I've been lucky to spend in a mall, Panera, supermarkets, etc., have been so important to me but as to whether I want to anyone who knows me to see me as Jamie the answer is a big no, too many problems even with the currently almost complete ignoring of the blonde elephant eating a few seats over.
Great conversation starter, looking forward to other comments.