Extreme case of crossdressing or gender dysphoria?

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07-08-2005, 11:35 PM
emmicd

Extreme case of crossdressing or gender dysphoria?

What is gender dysphoria? And how do you know if you have it?

If you identify as female and like to dress but live in the world as a male and keep the female side under wraps and let not a soul know about it are you still prone to gender dysphoria?

If your content living as a male and are married with a child but have an intense need to dress up as often as possible and find yourself buying more femme clothes than male clothes are you suffering from gender dysphoria or an extreme case of crossdressing?

Can anyone answer these question to the best of their knowledge?

Thank you!

Emmi
07-08-2005, 11:57 PM
Chrissycd

Emmi,

I feel confident that the first "IF" you suggested IS a case of gender dysphoria, while the second "IF" is most likely a crossdressing sort of fetish. There's alot of gray in all of this, but I think the big difference is that the former that you describe is of an individual who is NOT happy, nor comfortable at all as a male, while the latter individual you describe seems to be content in his skin.
Sometimes, there are other things that come into play w/ the latter of the two, though, that he never would imagine or expect, with the passage of time...
Hope that helps,
Chrissy
07-09-2005, 12:21 AM
emmicd

Yes it does help a lot! Thanks Chrissy!

I feel sometimes I'm in between the 2 scenarios I indicated. I feel I can live in the world as I was born, a male. I love my wife and son very much. I just feel I do love to dress in femme clothes and sometimes catch myself saying to myself I wish I was a girl! But then reality sets in in addition to my family and work responsibilities. So I keep it inside and deal with it by dressing up and buying femme clothes when I can. It's hard but I take it day by day and I think of my beautiful son who i need to be ther for as his father!

Thanks for your response!

I really appreciate it!

Emmi
07-09-2005, 01:53 AM
emmicd

Are there any other girls who understand about gender dysphoria and need for crossdressing?

Would like to here from other girls who are in similar situation.

Thank you!

Emmi
07-09-2005, 05:05 AM
Tristen Cox

Okay this is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. Gender dysphoria and crossdressing should be seen as two separate things. Sure you may have a fetish for clothes or a sexual urge to wear them to feel more turned on, which is often confused with feeling like you are a girl. However gender dysphoria has to do with much more. You actually (really)want to be or think you 'are' a girl(or should have been born that way). You long for all the things women do not just dressing(that is minor), but everything about how they feel and live in the world. You don't even have to wear clothes of the opposite sex to have gender dysphoria. It is something you feel, a terrible wrong between your physical self and your inner self.
07-09-2005, 06:06 AM
Jonien

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristen Cox

Okay this is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. Gender dysphoria and crossdressing should be seen as two separate things. Sure you may have a fetish for clothes or a sexual urge to wear them to feel more turned on, which is often confused with feeling like you are a girl. However gender dysphoria has to do with much more. You actually (really)want to be or think you 'are' a girl(or should have been born that way). You long for all the things women do not just dressing(that is minor), but everything about how they feel and live in the world. You don't even have to wear clothes of the opposite sex to have gender dysphoria. It is something you feel, a terrible wrong between your physical self and your inner self.

Tristen Now that I have been terribly wronged and I thought I was just another mentle case
Love your new avater you are looking so beutiful "bitch"
sorry did't mean that just jelosy shoing through
07-09-2005, 06:21 AM
Tristen Cox

That's ok I am a bitch:D

By terrible wrong I mean the inside does not agree that it should be incased in the present physical self. So hence, you feel/think you have been born in the wrong body.
07-09-2005, 07:02 AM
Stlalice

Gender Dysophoria or Just CD ?

Emmicd,

Gender Dysophoria aka Gender Identity Disorder happens when your physical body (ex. male ) is at odds with your gender identity (ex. female). Have you always felt that something was "wrong", that you should have been born a girl? Is this conflict tearing you apart inside? This is a separate issue from the need to dress as a woman. CD's tend to be hetero males with a feminine side that they need to express but they identify as male and are content to remain so. The idea of undergoing SRS horrifies them as much as it would any "normal" male. Someone with GD/GID on the other hand is mentally a woman stuck in an inappropriate body and transistion and possibly SRS is the only real way for them to have any sense of peace in their own skins. Some will go all the way thru SRS and some perhaps many more will be content to live with being non-op with or without doing HRT - the reasons for this are many and there is no "wrong" decision. What I would recomend that you do is that you find a good therapist who specializes in gender identity/issues to help you sort out your feelings and what you need to do about them. Check with the International Foundation for Gender Education at www.ifge.org for listings of therapists in your area - or check the local version of the Pride Pages phone book for listings. Another place to look would be the local chapter of PFLAG - they also deal with transgender and could probably help. :)
07-09-2005, 07:09 AM
Jonien

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristen Cox

That's ok I am a bitch:D

By terrible wrong I mean the inside does not agree that it should be incased in the present physical self. So hence, you feel/think you have been born in the wrong body.

I tryed the Body shop for new one But thay dont do my size
I'm getting depressed now
I need sergery like now
07-09-2005, 11:07 AM
Sharon

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stlalice

Emmicd,

Gender Dysophoria aka Gender Identity Disorder happens when your physical body (ex. male ) is at odds with your gender identity (ex. female). Have you always felt that something was "wrong", that you should have been born a girl? Is this conflict tearing you apart inside? This is a separate issue from the need to dress as a woman. CD's tend to be hetero males with a feminine side that they need to express but they identify as male and are content to remain so. The idea of undergoing SRS horrifies them as much as it would any "normal" male. Someone with GD/GID on the other hand is mentally a woman stuck in an inappropriate body and transistion and possibly SRS is the only real way for them to have any sense of peace in their own skins. Some will go all the way thru SRS and some perhaps many more will be content to live with being non-op with or without doing HRT - the reasons for this are many and there is no "wrong" decision. What I would recomend that you do is that you find a good therapist who specializes in gender identity/issues to help you sort out your feelings and what you need to do about them. Check with the International Foundation for Gender Education at www.ifge.org for listings of therapists in your area - or check the local version of the Pride Pages phone book for listings. Another place to look would be the local chapter of PFLAG - they also deal with transgender and could probably help. :)

Excellent, Alice.
07-09-2005, 11:29 AM
emmicd

Thanks to all you girls who responded! I think I will follow Stlalice advice. I really appreciate the information and will seek more information and counseling.

I feel I could live as a guy but my feelings to dress en femme are so strong i wish I could do it 24/7 but for obvious reasons can not!

It does get frustrating! I sometimes do feel like a girl but repressed it so much that I am not free to explore or dress as I'd like.

You really provided me sound advice as did Tristen and all the other girls here.

Thank you so much!

Hugs and kisses to all!

Emmi
07-19-2005, 08:05 PM
Suekie

Gender Dysphoria

I am TS, fully diagnosed and going 'all-the-way'. As some of the previous posts said, you are transgendered/transexual/ gender dysphoric, call it what you will, when your body and mind are out of sync. Eventually, you simply cannot carry on as a man. I gave up my wife, son and home. I was having a form of breakdown, and could not go on 'living a lie'. Most TS' will tell the same story.
Some with a severe case of transvestism/cross-dressing will live full time as female, but have no desire to change their primary sexual characteristics, though a few will use various means to increase their bust. The thought of loss of function as a man will usually cause most to think very seriously about even taking hormones to make changes to their body.
I have done both, and personally think that if you have the slightest doubt about wether or not you may be transexual, you are probably not.
Sue.
07-19-2005, 09:50 PM
MarinaTwelve200

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suekie

I am TS, fully diagnosed and going 'all-the-way'. As some of the previous posts said, you are transgendered/transexual/ gender dysphoric, call it what you will, when your body and mind are out of sync. Eventually, you simply cannot carry on as a man. I gave up my wife, son and home. I was having a form of breakdown, and could not go on 'living a lie'. Most TS' will tell the same story.
Some with a severe case of transvestism/cross-dressing will live full time as female, but have no desire to change their primary sexual characteristics, though a few will use various means to increase their bust. The thought of loss of function as a man will usually cause most to think very seriously about even taking hormones to make changes to their body.
I have done both, and personally think that if you have the slightest doubt about wether or not you may be transexual, you are probably not.
Sue.

I agree---this is one of the main reasons for all the psychological tests and counciling "TS" people have to go through before they are allowed to transition. You gotta be damn sure that a candidate really IS TS rather than a TV/CD who is simply "blinded" so much by the "sexual turn on" aspects to think he really "desires" to become a woman-----the untimate fantasy BLAST! :D ----Even the subject cannot easily tell which is the case.

I like to stress in my little "rants" that the "sexual" aspects of CD/TV can be illusionary. We can also experience "Sexual excitement" from DEEP FEAR, from PAIN--(physical or psychological) and by crossing "Taboo lines"---established by society or by our own brains. All too often we may erroniously assume we are dealing with "sexual matters" when we really are not. The concept of "personal identity" for instance is a DEEPLY ROOTED element in the human psyche. ( Right up there with "Self preservation")---At a subconcious level there is a DREADFUL FEAR of losing it.-----Threatening those states induces a very strong "RUSH" that can feel "erotic" to most people. Thus we might feel this when our life, physical integrety or identity is threatend.

Our first CD experience (with a mature brain)--say about age 13 or so, either out of simple curiosity, or being forced by others, may set up an "IDENTITY THREAT" situation---the brain reacts with the deep subconcious fear---often to the point of eroticisim. ---- In many of us, this feels "GOOD" in an odd way, and may lead us to to continue to CD on our own just for the rush.---That it feels "erotic" and there is also a pseudo "gender change" one may very well THINK it to do directly with "sex".

Note also that a similar thing happens with "THRILL SEEKERS"--they get that RUSH by threatining the "Self Preservation" function of the brain--That too is said to be "almost erotic"---But is less likely to be confused with transgenderisim, as no cross dressing or gender manipulation is involved.

Thats what we are up against here,--- CONFUSION. Does a guy REALLY want to be a woman? Does a guy REALLY want to kill himself?---likely not on both cases, but the former case involving the CD is harder to unravel because of all the accompanying "associations" with the method and the goal---Is he just in it for the rush? and would becomming a real woman BE the ultimate sitation for this RUSH?

If such a guy gets made into a woman---you can beleive s/he would likely be "in heaven" --- for a while----but what happens when the noveltey wears off?--S/He is stuck as a woman which likely wouldnt be cool for an otherwise 'normal hetro male'-----Such misdiagnosed cases have often lead to another round or surgery and/or suicide.

Of course I am just giving some examples here of how difficult a real transsexual/gender disphoria situation is to tell from other psychological conditions---There are lots of other non-sexual/gender based conditions that can make the subject think he wants to change sexes.---the sexual feelings/urges can be very blinding to one's logic.

----Im saying never be too QUICK to assume a GENDER disorder--all might not be as it seems.
07-20-2005, 05:44 AM
ChloeJDav

Similar Situation

Emmi,
I can totally relate to your postings. I started dressing as a young child, always fantasising that I'd love to be a girl but at the same time enjoying boyish things. I got married at 19, telling my wife that I dressed but not to the extent that I wanted to. She was never happy with it but tolerated it in moderation as long as I did't dress in front of her or our children. I have three children from my first marriage who I love dearly and I couldn't bear to ever hurt them. Over the years I dressed as often as I could, when the children were not around and my wife out. After 22yrs of marriage my wife left me and the split became nasty, my wife telling the children (then aged 11,15 and 17) about my dressing, hoping it would put them off me. They just seemed to take it with a pinch of salt and remained with me when she left.

I have now been married for just over a year to my second wife Claire who I told about my dressing on our first date. She wasn't shocked at all and I can dress comfortably in front of her. I'm now as Chloe wrighting this with my 18 yr old son in the house with me, he has become totally accepting as has my 14yr old daughter who also lives with me. I also have a 1yr old daughter with Claire. I now dress more than ever and the urge to dress seems to be getting stronger as I grow older.

Like you my feelings are mixed, when there is a lot going on with my life I can happily live as the male me, but when things quieten down I just want to be Chloe and often long to be a girl. As Chloe I feel happy and content without needing the buzz that I need to be happy as a male. I often feel that I'd like to go the whole way but then realise how lucky I am having a wife and family that accept Chloe, but they also need their husband and dad. Anyway sorry to rant on just wanted to share my experience and feelings with you.
Chloe x
07-20-2005, 05:54 PM
Deborah757

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristen Cox

Okay this is just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth. Gender dysphoria and crossdressing should be seen as two separate things. Sure you may have a fetish for clothes or a sexual urge to wear them to feel more turned on, which is often confused with feeling like you are a girl. However gender dysphoria has to do with much more. You actually (really)want to be or think you 'are' a girl(or should have been born that way). You long for all the things women do not just dressing(that is minor), but everything about how they feel and live in the world. You don't even have to wear clothes of the opposite sex to have gender dysphoria. It is something you feel, a terrible wrong between your physical self and your inner self.

I think Tristen described it perfectly. For me, coming here and speaking to people as my, I think, "True Self", is as much, if not more, of a relief than actually dressing.

Unfortunately, if you grew up in the 60's and 70's you were labeled crazy and told to fix yourself. By the time you are in your mid 40's there are no longer any simple solutions left.