public views (I hope I was not too confusing while writting this)

So the wife and I took our Son to the beach today to enjoy the weather. We found a spot were we wanted to set up at, and we began to take off our shoes. I removed mine and realized that my toenails were still painted. The color is not a subtle one either. I have an blue iridescent color. It's the kind that changes with the angle of the light hitting it. There were people all around us, and I thought someone was going to say something for sure. I got a few strange looks from some of the guys there, but no one said anything. I was kind of nervous since I just kicked the hinges off the door this past week. I am still getting used to my Son and other people knowing about Bethany. I have been in hiding for soo long. I think it may take some time too change the habit of trying to hide the little things I used to hide so well. I am not going to dress in front of my Son. Even though he knows and is cool with it. Man at only thirteen he is such a well adjusted kid. Anyhow to continue with my point. So many of us worry about others noticing our shaved legs, or our nails, or other things that my stand out. I am learning what a few of our more tenured members say is so true. No one really cares for the most part. Sure there are those narrow minded rednecks out there that would probably try to hurt one of us, But for the most part I think most people are either too embarrassed to say anything, or they just could care less as long as you don't try to shove it down their throats. I wonder what You my peers think of this? For the most part do you think that people really care what we do as long as we don't try to too blatant about it?:eek: Or am I just fooling myself in thinking that the world is changing in ways where we can in some not so distant future be whom we really are?

Depends on the situation I think.

my example would be, the fear most of us share when trying to go shopping, yet realistically no one ever says anything to us while we do it.

I guess anyone who finds it weird just does not bother saying anything, so as you say we have either A: a more open society these days or B: people dont like talking

And she is us!

So much is the self loathing and the lack of confidence. Things have changed for the better, but I think it's boards like this, conferences and support groups that have helped the most.

Once you are over the hump, then it's not a big deal.

Love, Tracy

In my experience, a good 99% of men dont care or notice, 100% of women dont care. The odd 1% of guys that notice or care usually just make some snide remark or give a weird look. Women, just seem to be more accepting (again in my experience, Ive never had a woman say anything negative to me or even make any negative remarks). Kids are different, Id say almost half of the young girls will either stare at you or if they are in large groups make comments to themselves, they just find it funny or they dont know what to make of it. I just give a friendly smile and usually get one in return. young boys...well I dont think they notice much of anything unless it directly concerns them. Again, its just my experience. But I learned along time ago people surprise you. I think the more nervous and suspicious you act the more people will take notice of you, sort of llike your up to no good.

I went camping this past weekend with about 15-16 of our close friends, and it was the first time I've worn shorts around them with shaved legs. If anyone noticed, they didn't say a word, and no one acted any different than usual. On the way home my wife asked me if anyone had said anything to me at all, and I said "nope". She said that she was probably the only one who noticed anyway.

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Originally Posted by TSchapes

And she is us!

So much is the self loathing and the lack of confidence. Things have changed for the better, but I think it's boards like this, conferences and support groups that have helped the most.

Once you are over the hump, then it's not a big deal.

Love, Tracy

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WELL said. Most CD's are so wrapped up in hiding their secret they get overly defensive.

I have found that those who notice generally don't care. Except the occasional over compensating jerk might feel the need to say something. It is easy to ignore them or "kill them with kindness"

Thanks Jasmin [quote= It is easy to ignore them or "kill them with kindness"[/quote]


This is something my Mother has always told me to do. Kill them with kindness. I absolutely love that saying.

Sometimes I can tell people are freaked out by certain things but they generally dont say anything.Others handle it well.The other day I was buying some feminine products and I know they guy looked for a few seconds right at my nails.The moment there didnt seem to bother him and he treated me no differently.People surprize me all the time...on the internet too.The other day I opened my inbox on a site to see a message from a guy telling me how much of a sick freak I am :heehee: Im just like whatever guy..but I also got a message from a very wonderful woman in Texas who is just so sweet.It was a place where I am on there as Kayla.On the site Im still on as my male self (but still have a few pictures in a album like you see here),there have been a few women recently that I told right away and they had no issues.Basically,I was gettin hit on but they seemed to have missed a few important pictures.I had to say,normally I wont look like the guy in the main picture if Im not at work.One is funny,shes like,Im bi if it makes you feel any better :heehee: but Im fine with things.This is my normal.I am transgendered and thats just the way it is.I have no problems with me but if other people do,that is their issue to work out.People are different and its something the world needs to get use to.The old ways of thinking have to go.

What is normal?

If X amount of the population is gay and that is just the way it is in this world,would that be considered normal then?If X amount of the population are transgendered and thats just they way it is,wouldnt that be normal then?If X amount of people are straight and have no gender issues,that would be normal too.For each it is normal for them.For each of the different people who inhabit this place,we are just who we are.Just because there is more of something doesnt mean its the absolute right thing or better.

Its all ok though.If Im not normal,I dont want to be :) This is too good.

I think you're fine. I almost got caught twice by our workmen working on our concrete steps today. First, I just about answered the door in bare feet---same deal, but pink toenails. Then I went out the door to work with my pants zipper down---which one of them pointed out. Fortunately I had run out of clean panties and had to dig up a pair of torn drab underwear. Do you ever get the feeling that these situations are created as an early warning to be more careful?

At the end of the day, who cares? I'll never see these guys again, and you won't see beachgoers either, so...paint em blue, red, or whatever!

Marissa

I don't normally, but this weekend I painted my fingernails a nice sparkly pink and kept it on all day and night. Well, the next morning my family and I decided to go out to the store to do some shopping. Turns out, I forgot that we had run out of nail polish remover [D'OH!]. Soooo needless to say I had a decision to make...stay home and let them go without me or just suck it up and go. Well, I went and spent as much time as I could with my hands in my pockets :lol: But as we were checking out I had to take the bags and put them in the cart obviously [my wife is 7 months pregnant so it's not fair to make her lift them into the cart]. I don't think the cashier noticed, but it's possible the people in the next lane over did. I just really didn't pay much attention and that seemed to help.

People might notice because it's strange, unusual, different, whatever. But the more people see it around, the more comfortable (or indifferent) they'll become with (to) it. Hopefully next time I won't feel the need to hide it so much :)

Well today, as part of Dylen's "growing up", I went to pay for my college course wearing sandals with my toenails painted in purple. I also wore shorts with my legs shaved. I'm not sure if anyone noticed or not. I did feel like they did though. Probably just my imagination running away with me. I consider it a baby step.
Then this afternoon I painted my fingernails a dark maroon color. Cooked supper and then when the SO came in I chickened out showing her and cleaned them up. I did leave my bra on (which I wore on my errands including paying the car insurance agent) all day and night. Another baby step.

Dylen,
really thats all it takes is baby steps and before you know it you are rolling on to bigger things. Or at least that is what everyone says anyhow:). I hope you continue to take those steps and move at your own pace.


Good luck, Bethany

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Originally Posted by Bethany38

Or am I just fooling myself in thinking that the world is changing in ways where we can in some not so distant future be whom we really are?

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[SIZE="2"]I think we’re evolving very slowly, but evolving nonetheless. Of course, out here in Kansas they’ve never heard of Darwin. It’s embarrassing. Not many people can conceive of something beyond their own life-spans, either, let alone a million years. I hope it doesn’t take that long for us to be seen as “normal.”[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Kayla Shadows

What is normal?

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[SIZE="2"]Normal may be what our predecessors hammered into our brains while our heads were still soft. I’ve seen no evidence to support the validity of this programming, so I reject it…[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Marissa Anne

At the end of the day, who cares? I'll never see these guys again, and you won't see beachgoers either, so...paint em blue, red, or whatever!

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[SIZE="2"]Visual illiteracy saves us time and time again! I say wear your painted nails openly, like a badge of honor, and let the world at large know there are other ways to BE. They won’t notice, of course, but you’ve got to try…[/SIZE]

Sure people notice, perhaps they even care, but most don't say a word and you'll never really know the difference. It's called being polite and it doesn't mean peeps, whether friends or strangers, don't have a word or two about it when all is said and done. And again, unless someone engages you in conversation, you'll never know one way or the other.

That said, there is certainly nothing wrong with going about your life with smooth legs or whatever. I happen to be in my second summer with smooth legs and I've only had one comment. But I don't fool myself to think that because of the silence everywhere else that no one noticed, that somehow I'm being stealthy. It's just happens that no one else has said a word.

One last point, shaved legs may get people thinking but TG is not likely to be at the top of their list. Add other markers of femininity (ie - painted nails) and 2 + 2 starts looking a lot like 4.

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Originally Posted by TSchapes

And she is us!

So much is the self loathing and the lack of confidence. Things have changed for the better, but I think it's boards like this, conferences and support groups that have helped the most.

Once you are over the hump, then it's not a big deal.

Love, Tracy

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there is a way to trace it took many years to find out it was my sister the only one who loved me in my family and she was my role model. i wa s to young to analyse this the but afetr years it became apparent. to be likeher dress like her look like her is all i ever wanted just to thick to realize it with all my guy stuff going on !

Hello...
I attended a recent musical at the Muny in St. Louis this past Friday night (Music Man -- it was very well done). In any case, my toenails were painted (fairly neutral, but clearly painted), wore a nice pair of SAS sandals and a kilt. The kilt is a very lightweight microfiber job, looks more like a skirt than a real kilt. Wore a guys polo, not tucked in, but draped down over the kilt. No kilt socks or little man bag (sporran) hanging from the kilt. Get the picture?

In any case, a guy starts talking to me and finally says he was delighted to meet someone who appeared to be "so comfortable in their own skin" that they would wear what I was wearing....

Well, that made my day. I was comfortable and it certainly worked for me.

I really haven't had any disparaging remarks about that outfit, someones my friends poke a little fun. I figure they are just jealous.

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Originally Posted by Bethany38

Dylen,
really thats all it takes is baby steps and before you know it you are rolling on to bigger things. Or at least that is what everyone says anyhow:). I hope you continue to take those steps and move at your own pace.


Good luck, Bethany

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really if you have a din constantly in your mond you might seek medical help. it is a side of mania and if it is interfering with your dyatime and night time thoughts and keping you from good sleep there are some excellent meds to put you down so to speak
:love:

Most peaple dont care what you are wearing because they are too busy with their own lives to even notice or care if they do notice, the few who do notice are really kind and accepting.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TSchapes

And she is us!

So much is the self loathing and the lack of confidence. Love, Tracy

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Tracy hit the nail on the head! Do you really care what other people think about what you wear? I personally don't give a d***! Well, except for my son or daughter! The general public does not have the right to tell me what to wear, or whether I should paint my nails. That is my business and mine only! As most of you know, I dress enfemme in public most of the time and in warm weather wear open toe sandals so people can see my painted toes. No wig and no makeup. Just a guy in a skirt with painted toes and fingers. People hardly even look at me!!

This is the "ME" generation, and it shows! The majority of people, especially the younger ones, are only interested in themselves, not others passing by!

Love thyself, and be confident!!:)

I go out a lot in my bra and forms, Female shorts and a T shirt. My legs are shaved and have been for a number of years, My nails are long and always have been. i have painted them a clear with glitter. I may wear some eye shadow and mascara but in the summer i do don the shades, i can't handle bright light. Today i went to to my laundry at a laundry-o-matt, bras, panties and every other piece. then went to the CVS for make up. No one ever said a unkind word. Next i want to go out totally made up in a dress or skirt.

I think Aesilip is partly right as it depends on the situation that you are in ,
i have had my nails done in an iridescent purple with a red and gold design on them , toes and fingers, the only reactions that i have had are a young female who served at a club i went to could not stop smiling every time i went to buy a drink and my daughter who keeps saying " your weird why do you have to have nail varnish on " most people just don`t care .

(Imagines a large crowd gasping and saying "A man with painted toenails?!?!? :eek: ) :heehee:

Bethany, in the avatar photo, you look real good. :thumbsup: You have it pulled together well.

Look, most people are too wrapped up in their own world to care about what others do. Even if they notice something different, they don't really care.

People that DO care or make stupid comments or give weird looks - they don't really have much of a life and probably have a habit of sticking their noses in everyone else's business. Doesn't matter what you do or why, they have no life so they want to know what YOU are doing or wearing or seeing etc... Aaaand - they will probably have a problem with it. Not cause of what you wear or do or see but cause they are jealous that you have a life and they don't.

But now let us move onto the important stuff - Bethany, what was the color and brand of the nail polish? I like how you describe it, and it reminds me of Christina's corvette that she is always bragging about with it's color change paint.

[SIZE=4]Nicole,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4] The nail polish I used is Sally Hansen's Nail Prisms. The color I have is #16 turquoise opal. I have several of these colors and I think they are so cute. Any yes it is alot like the paint on Christina's' Vette. So there is you answer hun. Have a great day.:hugs:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4] Always Bethany.[/SIZE]

In my very limited experience I believe that most people will just ignore or avoid people who are cd/ts if they are not forced to deal with it, but hopefully that will change for the better one day and people will be more accepting about it.

As bethany's SO I had to reply. Bethany honey:daydreaming: you dont have any nail polish, your actually stealing mine.:battingeyelashes: Oh wait I know whats your is hers and whats mine is hers. sorry i forgot:heehee: