Why Did You Give Yourself a Name?

There have been threads here that dealt with why each of us chose the name we did and the reasons are interesting and sometimes profound. We can easily see that some names are somewhat fanciful and could never actually be used in society and that some names are ordinary - they are "passable" you might say.

I have a question directed largely to those of us who do not actually mingle with the larger world on any kind of interactive social basis:

Why, if nobody ever addresses us or even talks to us, why have we taken the trouble to give ourselves names? Certainly there is no social value, so why do we have feminine names? Do we think of our fem selves as being distinct persons from our masculine selves? Is the name merely an extension of the desire to look good dressed and, therefore, part of the image? Why do we bother?

Upon reflection, I think about never being called by my fem name (this does not happen in my case) and a great sadness comes over me. There is a loneliness in a world where nobody calls you by your name.

So, why do have a fem name...at all?

While it's not the screen name I use here, my SO gave me a name so she could introduce me as something other than my male name if I was dressed.

Now, that's a good practical reason. It sure beats "Hey, you"

It's the name in the back of my head since I could remember.. Maybe if my mother hadn't kept reminding me I was supposed to have been a girl when I was young, I would be happy... Happish.... Happier.... with my birth name?

It's all part of a larger process Cathy.:)

You know what's funny about me, is that I had two femme names I used online for the history of my crossdressing "career," from my teenage years into my twenties, originally I called myself "Zoe Carlyle" because it just sounded so sophisticated, and then eventually started going by "Alyssa Ryan" because the name Alyssa means truth and Ryan is my first name. However, what's funny is, the few times that I did actually go out with some friends and I was dressed up like a girl, the first time a stranger asked me my name I said "Ryan."

I don't attempt to pass in public, and so calling myself "Julie" has nothing to do with carrying a public persona. The only real reason I started using a femme name was so my wife and I could discuss something related to crossdressing in front of our kids without our kids quite understanding the gist of the conversation. "Honey, do you think Julie would like these shoes?" We have no actual friends named "Julie", so it offers no confusion for our kids. Of course, if we manage to acquire a friend named Julie, we'll have to come up with another name :)

I don't subscribe to the idea that I have a second personality that can be encompassed in the convenient box of "Julie". I am who I am, 100% all of me, which includes femme aspects and masculine aspects. "Julie" is just a name as a convenient tool, nothing more.

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I don't subscribe to the idea that I have a second personality that can be encompassed in the convenient box of "Julie". I am who I am, 100% all of me, which includes femme aspects and masculine aspects. "Julie" is just a name as a convenient tool, nothing more.

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Well put.

I picked the name 'ann' simply because I needed some other 'handle' when out and about. It has nothing really to do with me, except I'll respond to it when dressed.

I thought about using a different femme name each time I went out to the TOC or Angela's but I'm enoying enough already

All the Best,

Ann / Skirtsuit

Oh... It's way different for me. My male and female personas are very different. I love being 'Jenny'... But, I love my male self, too. While I'm getting dressed, my mind starts to 'switch over' to Jenny. I don't think about the things that my male self does. As a male, I love football, golf, NASCAR, martial arts... Those kinds of things. As Jenny, I don't even think about those things. It's more about my hair, do I match, does my makeup look okay? Yeah, in male mode I may think about Jenny and stuff, but I still love the male in me.

oddly, I chose a fem name for business reasons.

I used to write for a magazine that had a policy of never usingthe same byline twice in a single issue. So if they used two things I wrote, one beeded a pseudonym. As to why I chose a fem name, it's a pun on my male name. So the name existed before the fem persona did.

Well, if I want to talk to the girl I see in the mirror, I would feel pretty silly calling her my male name!!!

Hmmm .... I picked a name that would be appropriate for my background and sound feminine. In this case Maggie (I am Irish).

My therapist once asked me if I had a middle name and I was actually thinking that I should create one about the same time. I chose Katherine (spelled with a K).

So now when I leave voice messages for my therapist I will often say Hello this is Maggie Katherine. The funny thing is she will look for me in her phone list under my female name forgetting that she has me entered with my male name.

Hugs - maggie

Well, it separetes my male and female personas, and even tho I don't go out much, I do intereact alot here and having a name to refer to makes it a more personal experience.

I have reverted to using the first name of Sandie when in drab mode in all my dealings with people except family and legal issues. So far I have had no issues at all. A couple of times, I have been asked why and I just say that I like the name Sandie - no further issues. Nobody seems to have a problem with this. So I say do what ever makes you feel good.

Sandie

I needed a name for this site ..

Also like has already been mentioned here.. if I was dressed en fem I would not wish to be referred to by my male name :)

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Originally Posted by Crissy Kay

Well, if I want to talk to the girl I see in the mirror, I would feel pretty silly calling her my male name!!!

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Exactly! Calling myself Robert in the mirror or having my wife call me Robert would be weird.

I used to call myself Robbie, but that was weird because my mother called me Robbie when I was a little boy, and it just reminded me of my mother.
Eventually I started calling myself Zoey, because I thought it was exotic, but there's a lot of TG and CD girls named Zoey.
Now that I've come out to all my friends and stuff, I'm Bunnie, and it's actually an ironic name, I wanted it to sound like a tranny name.

I choose a name when I started here some years ago. But since then I have felt more and more that Stephenie is the real me and my male name (name is different enough to out me:eek:)is the one I have been hiding behind. I see myself as Stephenie wether I am dressed or not.

It happened quickly and, seemingly, naturally. My wife and I discovered Tina together, and since we wanted to find out who she was, we needed to let her have an identity. It seemed clear to us that blurring the masculine and feminine side of me was not a good idea and we still think that's true. Having a name lets us talk about how Tina thinks or acts without confusion. It followed that she would have her own e-mail address, etc.

I guess the short answer is that it gave an identity to the whole aura of being feminine!

tina!!!

I've just had two days of only being called Tricia or Trish. But then I've just had two days fully dressed. I love it! Not sure about Iain though :)

The story I stick to is, Lori was who i was supposed to be if I was a girl and it's better than being called "you with the skirt!"

But I must have three personalities because I also have another female name Mina Castor

I consider my femme side to be a seperate entity from my male side. Therefore "she" needed, demanded, and picked a name.

The name I picked was easy enough. A simple change of my "boy" name, Philip to Phyliss. As for the spelling, there must be at least ten different ways. I picked that way, just because.

Now to the question of why did I even pick a name.

A simple answer would be " I AM SOMEBODY " and I deserve a name.

Because my old name was not the one I wanted, but what someone else wanted for me.

Michael Kelly, as I am transitioning soon and essentially living and presenting full time at home and 80% at work I wanted a nicer sounding name than Michael Herbert Kelly. I chose a new first name and middle name from people I admired, that I knew. I came up with Kimberly Marie Kelly.

So for me a new name was a requirement and a need to be me. Kimberly Marie Kelly :battingeyelashes:

A sport group I belong to refers to me as Maxi already in male mode, so it is a name I answer to without a second thought.