Recently Caught again by SO
About 7yrs I came out to my SO we went and meet a couple who were open in their relationship, she seemed upset and allowed me to go out as long as she did not see me dressed. This lasted about a year. I was able to wear stockings with her a couple of times. I don't think she was approving but tolerant of it.
Time went by and I hid it not shaving my body down anymore I think she belived I wasnt dressing anymore. Last year sometime I accidently left out some stockings which she found made mention and that was the end of it. Just this week I had come home early and was getting ready to get all dolled up, she came home early too to my surprise and I had no time to undress and clean up my things, she came in saw me and said sternly " You know I dont want to see that." She hasnt spoken of the incident further it has been a few days, what direction do I need to take?
Direction...? Which way is the door?
>>She hasnt spoken of the incident further it has been a few days, what direction do I need to take?
Take this direction: do what you damn well please.
You've talked about it, she knows about it - she's beating you up with it and/or you're beating yourself up with it. Enough, already.
She'll get used to it, or, she won't. With luck, she won't waffle on you and you can both agree to seek happiness elsewhere.
But, again, do what you damn well please. Could be that your not following through and being strong about what you want is leaving her to wonder what she should do...
If my SO comes home and I'm dressed, or, getting dressed, I get myself to the door and help her carry in her computer, groceries, whatever.
Life is about showing up. Don't hide.
That was then, this is now.
Just to mention this again - that you don't tell someone something and they find out later, and they do nothing about not being told but gripe and harp - is their problem.
Yes, you omitted some facts. Yes, you knew something they didn't know and they got upset. But, again, if they don't hit the door, so what? Issue presented; it's the past; move on.
If they stick around, if you stick around, you both need to work together to get back to a happy place. If they don't, if you don't, then shame on both of you for not doing better.
Where you get to will not be where you were. So what? If it turns out better, so much the better. If you both wind up happier someplace else, with someone else, isn't that a good thing?
Everyone get their own results. Things do get dumped on you, but you need to do something about it besides stew.