Dressing at work (an experiment)
This week, my workplace has been officially shut down, but for complicated reasons, I had to work 3 days. Knowing that very few people would be around, I had decided that I would dress distinctly femme while I worked, and that I would move around the building a bit and see how comfortable I was with going over the edge from my usual "not definitely not male" wardrobe.
Note that on these days, I did not wear a wig or any makeup other than some lipstick.
Day 1, I wore an ankle-length denim dress that buttoned from collar to knee, and my size 8 asymmetric forms (E-cup or so) forms. The denim pulled in on the forms rather than flowing around them, and the net effect was a modest bust-line that would not have attracted special attention if it were on a GG. There turned out to be about 30 people at work between the pair of buildings, far more than I expected, so I did worked with my door closed. I chickened out on going down to the vending machines, but I did go to the washroom a couple of times. One of the times that I went to the washroom, I stopped and studied my reflection in the mirror, and decided that Yes, I did feel like I would be moderately comfortable looking like that at work. At the end of the day, my wife came to pick me up, so I put pants on over my dress right at the end of the day... and a moment later, briefly encountered one of the management team. If they had wandered by about 5 minutes earlier, they would have seen me in the hall in my dress. (I think they would have been surprised but not upset... but might have happened to mention something to my boss as just a "curious thing" without thinking about the implications for me.)
Lesson learned from Day 1: if you wear pantyhose and something slit to the knee, then if you work with your feet up on the desk (as I tend to do), then not only will your legs be visually exposed, but they will probably be a little cold too!
Day 2, I wore a white cotton-like top with a bit of a V-neck (I've worn it to work before), with the same bra and same forms, and I wore a long denim skirt, this time with grey microfibre tights that weren't really much thicker than the pantyhose of the day before but were a denser weave. There were even more people in than the previous day, and the cleaners were going to be around, so again I worked with the door closed. I found that without the pressure of the dress to hold things up, that those forms were sagging too much in that bra, so I switched to smaller (C-cup) forms. Again I chickened out on going to the vending machines, but I did again go to the washroom, once near the beginning of my workday and once about an hour from the end of it. When I studied my image in the mirror the latter time, I decided that (partly due to it being a bad hair day), that I would not be as comfortable wearing that particular combination to work: the skirt was fine, but that top was too loose and was too "fly away" to look good, at least with forms. At the end of the day, I took the bus home without changing first, venturing down into the common area with my clothes mostly hidden under a long jacket; another employee did happen to see me briefly, but probably didn't take note that my denim wasn't pants. The way out was past the security desk, but I know that guard wouldn't say anything to anyone even if he did happen to notice.
Lessons learned from Day 2: (1) a Bad Hair Day that exposes your receding hairline can be a downer all day; (2) make sure you wear a bra with enough support; and (3) check out your overall appearance before you go out.
Day 3 I work a black knee-length dress & jacket combination, with a smaller thinner front-closure bra and mid-sized forms (D triangles), and much thicker brown cotton-like tights because of the cold. Fewer people were at work, but a co-worker about 4 doors down was in, so again I worked with my door closed. The dress hung straight down and had no slit and was not stretchy fabric, so the movement of my knees was a bit constrained (but I like wearing those kinds of dresses and skirts), so I didn't put my feet up on the desk and had to sit up straighter -- so the dress promoted healthier work posture! As it was New Years Eve Day, I figured that probably I could openly wander into the common area towards the end of the day, as probably the only person who would see would be someone who knows about (but has never seen) Sandra. But I didn't get around to it as I got lost in my work until my wife called and offered to pick me up. I did check myself out in the bathroom again, though, and felt that I would feel pretty comfortable wearing something like that to work.
Lessons learned from Day 3: (1) if I were to get to the point where I felt wearing a skirt would be acceptable at work, then I would also feel comfortable wearing at least some styles of dresses such as a dress-suit (I don't have much difficulty wearing a plain skirt in public with guy-face; wearing an obvious dress with guy-face is usually harder for me, but not much so if it is a dress-suit); and (2) Yes, I really would like to be able to wear skirts and dresses at work.
Overall result: I did actually get a fair bit of work done, even though no-one really expected me to do more than go through the motions of showing up and doing some light work. The distraction level of having dressed was not especially high, and I could easily see that if I were indeed to wear skirts and dresses and even a visible bust at work, that although the transition period of other people getting accustomed to the idea might involve some unproductive anxiety for me, that I would indeed be able to work and would not spend my days thinking about what I had on. But then I've been wearing borderline or stealth clothes for about 3 1/2 years, and I already knew that (for me) for things like fancy tights, that once you get past the "But what if someone notices?" phase, that such things just become part of your wardrobe, an expression of who you are, not a preoccupation.
Would I do such an experiment again? Yes, I'm sure I would. Indeed, in a way it would have been easier on me if I had felt uncomfortable or easily distracted or had otherwise felt like obvious clothes and work do not mix: instead, I now have the difficulty that I feel that I would dress at work if I felt that the local leader would be accepting (currently I feel that our local leader would resent the ripple of disruption my coming out would cause more than they would care about what I actually wore -- even if it were just a "one day wonder", that would be a day of lowered productivity in difficult times.)
All I can say Sandra is that
Out..... If 30 people were in the building, some of them saw you for sure, there would be no doubt that some saw you. So what I'm saying is this, if you want to come out at work speak with your HR rep about the dress code. If your just CD and would like to dress at work, many companies have a transgender policy that would allow you to dress as a female, as long as you meet the dress code for women. If your Transsexual I think it's time you consider coming out at work. Just my opinion. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:
