You do everything like a girl!

This weekend the wife and I went downtown to the strip district.... Wholesale shopping food etc... And hit a lot of stores, I would usually grab a basket and just naturally sling it onto my right bend arm.. Like you would a purse... And she would take off in one direction and me in another and on 3 accounts she came rushing accross the store and said "give me that... You carry it like a girl" the last time she added.... "You do everything like a girl!!"

Wow.... Thanks for the revalation!! Not like I go out of my way and force myself to.... Just seems natural..... She seems to be getting more and more upset lately over the way I act... Which is the same way I have always acted... Maybe she is just noticing it more? And resenting it more? I don't know...

We had a big fight over something petty and stupid on Sunday evening and I left the house for 3 hours just to get away... I was so mad that I just felt like driving till I ran out of gas and where ever that was... Start over fresh... But I have too many commitments that I would never abandon.... The fight wasn't over crossdressing but I think that may be at the root.. Or at least an irratant..... For years now she has turned a blind eye and not brought it up at all but we may be heading towards a confrontation... Frankly it might be nice to get it all out on the table and let the cards fall where the may.... But I really doubt she wants to dredge it all up again... What are ya going to do?

Well I think I've sucessfully cheered myself up enough for one afternoon! Lol. I need to go play some hockey and hurt someone..... Hopefully not myself!! Ha!

Just don't play like a girl! Your fights sound like my old fights with the wife, off driving for a few hours, calm down & everything's cool NOT :heehee:

I feel for you Karen. I really do. And I will stifle the "guy" thing and not voice my opinion for "fixing" it and just be a sister and listen. If you run out of gas in Phoenix - look me up. I have an extra basket you can hold. :)

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

This weekend the wife and I went downtown to the strip district.... Wholesale shopping food etc... And hit a lot of stores, I would usually grab a basket and just naturally sling it onto my right bend arm.. Like you would a purse... And she would take off in one direction and me in another and on 3 accounts she came rushing accross the store and said "give me that... You carry it like a girl" the last time she added.... "You do everything like a girl!!"

Wow.... Thanks for the revalation!! Not like I go out of my way and force myself to.... Just seems natural..... She seems to be getting more and more upset lately over the way I act...

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Karren,

Do you conciously NOT do things like a girl when you are at work or on the rink? I find when my guard is down and i am comfortable with my surroundings... i do things more like a girl [ naturally]. As soon as the guys show up... i feel the need to puff up and over compensate...to be the man.


PS: i hope you get everything into a good place with your wife.


ohhh if the car runs out of gas near new hope....call me.:heehee: Cocktails are on me.


hugs

msniki48

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Originally Posted by Kittykitty

Karen, those things that come naturally to you are.... just you.

Btw, if you're still letting things surface, have you considered you may be more TS than CD?

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Ya think?

To add to the "When you run out of gas" posts here: After refilling quite a few times and then when you finally run out of gas in the SF area, send me a message and I will pick you up for a Toot, Toot, grand engineer's time out on the town. I will also bring my old Toot book bag as a conversation piece. Please diregard the fishy smell, since I use it for fishing now. And, being that good engineer, I will recommend all kinds of ways to resolve your problem. Multiple options is the only way to go, unless one option seems to reign supreme. Good luck and I hope you hit someone hard on the ice after all that.

Karren, I'm both sorry and a bit glad that you're heading fro at least a confrontation. Although "ripping the BandAid" of ignoring the issue off hurts, sometimes it's the best way to clear the air. Wouldn't it be nice to actually know what is bugging her instead of suspecting? At least then you both have a common frame of reference in order to solve the issues, and not just sweep them under the rug (whether you sweep like a girl or not :)).

Kathi

Wow! Now dont check the players too hard:)

Florida's nice this time of year!:D
It does sound like it might be coming to a head after all these years. If I remember, she ain't too fond of Karren. I wish you well dear.:hugs:

If my wife said that to me I don't know if I'd be pleased or angry. I mean, on the one hand we all try to cultivate more feminine gestures and atributes so that would mean I'm succeeding. On the other hand: what did she mean by that? Was it just an observation? A complaint? Or a compliment? I gather from some of your other posts that the last isn't a option, but I'd be wondering if my wife said that to me.

If your wife isn't one of those "I'm right and everyone else is wrong" types, therapy might be in order. I suggest avoiding LDS, Baptist, and Muslim ones though ...

It really helped us -- but it's a long process.

Sorry about your rough patch.

-- Diane

People have always tol me that. Especially the walking part. I don't consciously do it. But after people point it out, I make a concentrated effort to not do it.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

And she would take off in one direction and me in another and on 3 accounts she came rushing accross the store and said "give me that... You carry it like a girl"

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[SIZE="2"]When I shop at Wal-Mart with my sister, she usually drapes herself over the shopping cart while I frolic from one aisle to another, “acting” rather girly, affecting a Kansas accent whilst ogling the Texas Toast. She tells me in a hushed voice to “Stop it!” and “Behave yourself!” It’s fun to be the youngest in the family! Later, after we’ve left the confines of Wally World, my sister says “You’re a lot of fun to be with, you know,” and I can tell it’s not meant to be a sarcastic comment…:)[/SIZE]

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I was so mad that I just felt like driving till I ran out of gas and where ever that was...

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[SIZE="2"]I did this once, years ago, because of frustration over a family matter. I got as far as West Warwick, RI (not from here, silly – I was living near Boston, MA at the time) before turning around. The situation at home resolved itself fairly quickly – I think my absence helped…[/SIZE]

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Well I think I've sucessfully cheered myself up enough for one afternoon!

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[SIZE="2"]Are you sure? :heehee:[/SIZE]

Maybe it's that time of year or something, my wife told me today after seeing a guy in drab carring a gucci purse (good taste) that I would like to carry one and wear heels, of course I had made the remark that I liked the bag he had. This time unlike others I said yes I would, she came back with the regular, good thing I wont let you. SOOO Karren I wish you the best and if you run out of gas make sure you have a nice skirt so some nice man will help the lady in dis-dress. ;)

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

I need to go play some hockey and hurt someone..... Hopefully not myself!! Ha!

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Originally Posted by kristinacd55

Just don't play like a girl!

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Hell yes --- DO play like a girl!!!! For example, Hayley Wickenheiser. :) (oh what I wouldn't do for a Team Canada shirt with her name and number on it!)

Seriously, Karren, I do understand how that sorta stuff can make you feel when its said as a put down. My mum used to say thing to me like that --- the topper being "Why don't you get a regular haircut. With those earrings you look like a dyke"

I hate to see your marriage and you suffer over this since it doesn't have to be that way. My prayers are with you.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

I assume your out to your wife, I,ve seen your posts, easy to say been there done that, but the constant evening lectures eventually, drove me to thinking I would be better off out of this relationship. She assumed it was a failing on her part, that I did it because I did,nt find her attractive enough, so we split, truth is as you know, we cant stop. So, you have to ask yourself some telling questions, is your dressing bigger than your relationship!

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Maybe she is just noticing it more? And resenting it more? I don't know...

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I think you should ask her.

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

For years now she has turned a blind eye and not brought it up at all but we may be heading towards a confrontation... Frankly it might be nice to get it all out on the table and let the cards fall where the may.... But I really doubt she wants to dredge it all up again...

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You do a lot of things together, and it sounds from your other posts as if you get along. Now that she knows the CDing is not going away, and you've survived, intact, all those years (the CD police didn't come to lynch you), it might be well worth bringing it up again. You could ask her if anything in particular is bugging her lately. It doesn't have to be confrontational. But if you are asking her how she feels, be prepared to also talk about your feelings with her.
:hugs:

Well, you are a girl Karr. A leopard cannot change it's spots ya know or a CD her mannerisms. Some women are way too touchy, no?

I am going to assume for the purpose of thsi post that you weren't "acmping it up" but were just being yourself.

What really matters are not the words - you aren't butch, so what? If she meant that she does not like you to have feminine aspects to your behaviour then you do have a problem, because you were being just yourself, ie she is in effect asking you to "butch it up". Many have already given you advice so I will refrain, I have nothing special to add other than listen more than you talk (advice I never take). I would also try to avoid being self conscious; you will only tie yourself up in knots.

This caused me to reflect yet again on how confining gender roles can be. But I will save that for an appropriate thread....Dee

Whatever you do, don't play hockey like a girl. It's all about love. how much we put out wives through and how much they will endure. For some accecptance was the key. For those of us who didn't have an accepting wife, we had fights. As men we usually lost.

Karren, your posts and pics are always so cheerful and beautiful that I constantly forget that your wife isn't 100% behind you on this.

I agree with what others have said...something is clearly bothering her, so maybe it would be good to get it in the open. It's obvious you love each other very much, so there's a strong foundation there to rely on, I think.

I know I don't need to say it, but please keep us posted. You and she are in my prayers, Karren!

Ä tried to discuss the subject tonight and she doesn't want to talk about it at all...

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Originally Posted by Stephanie Miller

I feel for you Karen. I really do. And I will stifle the "guy" thing and not voice my opinion for "fixing" it and just be a sister and listen. If you run out of gas in Phoenix - look me up. I have an extra basket you can hold. :)

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Thanks... I can feel the moisture leaving my skin as I think about Az! Lol.

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Originally Posted by kristinacd55

Just don't play like a girl! Your fights sound like my old fights with the wife, off driving for a few hours, calm down & everything's cool NOT :heehee:

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Even the girls on my team don't play like girls! I haven't driven off in decades... I did get 2 hours of good exersize walking the parking lots of a local strip mall...

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Originally Posted by msniki48

Karren,

Do you conciously NOT do things like a girl when you are at work or on the rink? I find when my guard is down and i am comfortable with my surroundings... i do things more like a girl [ naturally]. As soon as the guys show up... i feel the need to puff up and over compensate...to be the man.

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I don't try to act one way or the other... When in drab or enfemme.. It all feels the same to me..

Karren if there is anyone on this site that acts like themself it is you and we love you for it.

If you are going to drive point your car west. You would be more than welcome in Kansas. We will find you a pink Chiefs Jersey :hugs:

Hi Karren,

I've heard this [ the flip side] from some GGs who wanted it out in the open and were tired of the distance from their spouse.

IMHO I think the door is open [ maybe just a crack ] but it's a good time to talk.
Wouldn't you just love to get to the other side?

I wish you the very best, And Mrs. H too.

Presh GG
Just my
:2c:

Hi Karren-

I just want you to know, even if I don't have any advice to give, that I feel for you and wish you the very best. You have my best wishes, I hope it all works out for you.

Hugs...Joni Mari