Would you?

I HATE being a man and dislike being a male but love being a sissy. I hate my males bits with a passion but my wife loves them. I have never thought about having SRS and neither has my wife as she loves to have a sissy husband and the bits that come with it. In reality I'm a genetic male regardless of how I feel. Out of no-where my wife has asked me to do some research on SRS! While I'm happy to have it done if she wants me to I'm wondering what others would do if their partner asked them to do a full transistion.
I'm finding it hard to grasp a full transition. It's a big step that I'm willing to take but I wonder if, once done, that I would realy feel like a female or would I always be a male?
Are physical features realy what make us?

for me it dose not matter how much i make me look like a woman i will always be a man
for me to fully make a change that big i come to realize that i will alway be a man and this i have learned to accept
i have gone thought this in my head for over 40 years
do not know if this helps or not
most likly it may be removed to to being rude or uncaring
life is what you make it

My feeling is that both you and your spouse need counseling. SRS is an irreversible procedure and not one you undergo because someone else wants you to or because you wonder if it will make you "feel like a female". Someone who is a transsexual and a candidate for SRS already feels like a woman. The feeling like a woman in the wrong body is what leads someone to transition, it doesn't work the other way around. Transitioning will not suddenly make you feel like a woman.

Our physical features don't necessarily make us what we are as far as gender is concerned. Gender resides between the ears, not between the legs, and has to do with how we feel about ourselves, masculine or feminine.

-Joni Mari

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Originally Posted by belindat

I HATE being a man and dislike being a male but love being a sissy. I hate my males bits with a passion but my wife loves them. I have never thought about having SRS and neither has my wife as she loves to have a sissy husband and the bits that come with it. In reality I'm a genetic male regardless of how I feel. Out of no-where my wife has asked me to do some research on SRS! While I'm happy to have it done if she wants me to I'm wondering what others would do if their partner asked them to do a full transistion.
I'm finding it hard to grasp a full transition. It's a big step that I'm willing to take but I wonder if, once done, that I would realy feel like a female or would I always be a male?
Are physical features realy what make us?

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This is a decission that is never entered into lighty. Typically lots of hurdles are required to be met before a physician would every even contemplate completing SRS for a patient. I have to agree counseling is the place to start.


In my current situation I would celebrate, throw a party, nominate my wife for sainthood, and erect a three story statue of her in our front yard if she suggested SRS. OK, maybe the statue would not be three stories, but only because of our local zoning laws.

As Suzanne and Joni have already said--strongly--counseling. I am getting some now, and whether or not I transition, the counseling is important. I'm glad to be getting it from a well-qualified psychotherapist. I would urge anyone who has gender discomfort or gender confusion or dysphoria to seek it out.

Maybe your wife wants you to go half way...just cut it off! You both need to run for help.:D

Ahhh. Hell no! And who ever equated being a sisy with being female anyway? Most of the women I know would kick you ass if you said they were sisys!

I think she's trying to make you her b*tch.

You seem to want to be a sissy & that is what she likes. She wants more control & maybe thinks she will get it if you transition.

You seem pretty confident you want to stay a man. Don't let her change your mind for you. Know what you want to be stand your ground. Only change if you really know it to be true.

As a sidenote, I don't really understand the whole sissy thing. I've never found that or being a submissive very intriguing. I guess that's what finally led me to realize I'm not just a crossdresser for fun. I really feel like a woman and want to live as one.

If you don't want SRS then don't even think of the transition. You can't undo it. Your wife wanting this only shows her tendency toward other women. Ask her to invite a friend over and all of you can have a blast.

I guess I didn't write my post very well.

I don't think my wife actually wants me to transition in that way but is testing me to see my reaction and woud "I" actually take that step. She would never 'force' or 'demand' me to do it.

But my real point of the post was the last line. Does physical attributes actually make us femme or is it a state of mind?

As re the 'sissy' bit. I think the link is that, for me at least, it is striving to be as femme as is possible but in a frilly silly way. A bit over the top. While a CD may well be striving to be femme in a more 'conventional' manner.

Am I making sense?

I understand what you're saying Belinda. In my opinion, having a certain gender identity is more a state of mind than anything else. In fact, that's really what makes me CD...when I am dressed, I do feel feminine in body and mind. When not, I'm back to my male mode. For me, both are good and I have no interest in SRS. Physical attributes can be medically enhanced, or removed, BUT, as others have said, that doesn't mean your state of mind will accept you as such. Maybe the best people to answer this question are those who have actually gone thru, or will go thru, this transformation. SRS sounds intriguiging, but look before you jump. :)

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Ahhh. Hell no! And who ever equated being a sisy with being female anyway? Most of the women I know would kick you ass if you said they were sisys!

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i'm with karen
also if you dont already feel like a woman in a man's body then you are not right for SRS, simple. i wiould never go down that route unless i felt it was right for me, not for my SO. as you will regret it doing it.

:2c:

claire

Gender is in the mind. Regardless of what you're wearing - your brain is the most powerful sex organ in your body.

So. that being said -- you say you HATE being a man. In what context? Social? Work? Home? In order to be even considered for transition, you need to spend a year as a female - 100%, all the time, to everyone. This isn't a fetish thing - you need to present as a normal female to everybody. And that's the thing - transexuals don't wear clothes to feel feminine, they feel feminine, and the clothes come naturally. The clothing is not the issue, the gender is the issue.

It would seem to me (just my opinion) you got a fetish thing going on. There is nothing wrong with this at all - but it doesn't come close to being transexual.

Consider this - what it takes -- laser hair removal from your face (and possibly other parts of your body). For at least a year. Progesterone and Estrogen treatments (monitored by a physician) for a looooong time. Psychological counseling, and one full year presenting as female. Facial feminization surgery. Breast augmentation surgery. And after all that, the final SRS to replace your genitals.

My thought is - if there's even the remotest doubt this isn't for you, then, it isn't for you. If it was, you would know.

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Originally Posted by belindat

Are physical features really what make us?

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[SIZE="2"]No, unless you worship your physical features and display them to the world for attention. I consciously avoid being defined by my male features, but it all takes work (and time) to go against the grain…:straightface:[/SIZE]

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Originally Posted by Missy

for me it dose not matter how much i make me look like a woman i will always be a man
for me to fully make a change that big i come to realize that i will alway be a man and this i have learned to accept
i have gone thought this in my head for over 40 years

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[SIZE="2"]Yes, same here. I accept myself and use what I have at hand – what else can one do? I must be balanced in this way, since there is no conflict within my personality. I’m male, and I choose to be a certain definition of feminine by choice. I can’t make an orange into an apple, no matter how much polishing or peeling I do, so I accepted my fate a long time ago…:doh:[/SIZE]

My ex was just testing me when she asked me if I ever wanted to be a woman and if I had considered SRS. It was a prelim to her deciding that I was a transsexual in denial and pressing for a divorce. While telling her of all the things that had gone through my mind over the years, I saw in her eyes that she had already made up her mind after only a few words were out of my mouth. So be careful how you answer, and tread lightly unless you're already sure where your relationship is heading.

Would I? Well in my current situation, no, but if I had the chance to do things over, with the pleasure it gives me in the limited time I get to be Gillian, then very much yes, I would explore the real option hormones therapy then if it felt right I would go down the very tricky and difficult process of full SRS having watched many documentaries on this and using youtube I do think I have the internal desire to fully live the desire.

Don't think this will aid your question but it is now out there!

well lets see if u got shot in your privates and couldnt get them back does that make u women, no,
now if your mind says im a women and i want to be treated as one then u just might be a women ,geting your genitals to match is just part of it

Interesting dilemma, I agree with many of the responses, If you know you are a woman psychologically, then go for it. If you have doubt's you are not female in your psyche, so seek counseling. I am older and too many people would get hurt, but I believe if I were 20 years younger I would have no hesitation as I have always thought I was far more female in thoughts, not actions however. I just love it when my wife asks me to dress up really pretty, if she asked me to go thru SRS I think I would give it great thought, even now......Madilyn :daydreaming:

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Originally Posted by Daniela76

I think she's trying to make you her b*tch.

You seem to want to be a sissy & that is what she likes. She wants more control & maybe thinks she will get it if you transition.

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Knowing a little bit about the fem/dom and sissified lifestyle/fetish, I think this is right on the money. She likes you being her little slave girl. So much so that she wants you to cut it off so you'll always be a little sissy for her.

It is for sure that you should see a sex-therapist for this. Someone who has experience dealing with SRS and/or sissy fetish.

Self perception is an individual thing regardless of what one decides to do Hon.:)

I know I'm only 18 and all but I have always had thought float through my head.
"Would I be better as a girl,"
"I'm not much of a man a should be a girl,"
And so on and so forth. If that is something that really takes you it is something to talk about with your wife, a therapist, and friend and ask for support. I mine self has had so much support and that has really kept me going on in life. I don't like broadcasting this but I have a mental disorder. A chemical imbalance in my brain. It's call Bipolar Disorder and I have my very emotional times in my life and feel like I am a sissy and not masculine in anyway. What is important is that you follow your heart and kept going even if it gets harder. If you hit a brick wall, grab you pickaxe and start swinging.

good acdvice all around. If you "hate" your physical self, then counseling is a good idea for both you and your wife. But honestly, the male bits don't make you a man...if you feel like a woman, and your wife enjoys you as a women...then be one. Get comfortable with the feminine role, but try enjoy the bits with your wife ;) and relax.

transition is not a fantasy....get some help

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Originally Posted by Sweet Jane

transition is not a fantasy....get some help

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I totally agree with Sweet Jane. And being a sissy has nothing to do with being a woman. I'm sure no one here knows a real woman that's a sissy. Real women are strong, loving and equal partners in any relationship, and the backbone of our society.

Karen

Again, I'll echo the words of others.
Ive never considered SRS seriously. We've all probably had fantasies of orgasming as a girl, but Ive also had fantasies about Christina Aguilera bound and gagged :o...
Just because I fantasise, doesn't mean it will or should come true. Some fantasies are for thought, some fantasies command a real world take.
Life changing decisions are not the stuff that fantasies are made of. In fantasy, you can go back if you dont like it.
This is something you need to KNOW, not think or ponder...
Know it.
As I said at the staart, Ive never considdered it seriously.
I KNOW that I like the tackle I was given at birth.
Lets face it, we can take a pee pretty much where-ever we like... girls cant :D
Ad I KNOW that femme clothes bring out a kinder, cooler, more femminine side of me, the person I already am, the man that I am.
I dont want to be a gilr, just feel like one for a short while at a time.

Know who you are before you think about being someone else.

Also, If I may be so bold.
Your SO, to whatever degree of pushiness she sits in, is obviously a keeper.
She has shown acceptance beyond what even you had considdered before.
While a bit of a head screw, it's also sign of a GREAT deal of understanding and love towards you.
Respect to her for that.