Lifetime single? Still hoping, or resigned to solitude?

[SIZE="3"][SIZE="3"]Are any of you long time, or lifetime single? If you are, have you been seeking a dating life, friendship? Or, are you giving up, coming to accept, that you will be solitary, never have a mate? I did a lot of dating in my 30's, but, i was not cding then. Now, at almost 56, lower income, and, soon having to care for my dad, i don't see a lot of hope, and am becoming accepting, that i likely will never be a husband, or father. At times, it hurts tremendously, especially when people talk about their mates, kids, and grandkids, and me being the loner! But, a minority of us, never had the chance, to have SO and kids. CDing , of course, does it even slimmer. Maybe I'm belly aching now, as i am in pain, from hernia surgery! Enjoyed the superduper bowl.[/SIZE][/SIZE]

I'm single and quite happy. I can't afford to date. I like haveing sex with many different people, I'd hate to be stuck with one person for sex, especially if they aren't open minded enough to try differnt things or don't like what I like.
I've never wanted kids. I don't believe in cheating or divorce, so that only leaves 2 things stay single, or murder.
Besides all that, I don't trust anyone so I wouldn't be able to live with anyone. And I'm incapable of love, trust me on this. I've killed pets, because they pissed me off. AndI've dumped "good" friends for the same reason and have never spoken to them again.
It's just best, I stay single.

[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Lisa, I can relate to what you say, some. I can be hell to live with, an can't handle arguing, being criticized! I don't know how couples, and families do it! They have strengths i don't have. I realize I am narcissistic more, and more, as i age, as a loner, but, still help others at times. It is kind of like being alone makes us more narcissistic, in spite of trying not to be.

i guess i am lifetime single. not good at getting dates.

it would be nice to have a body next to me on those cold winter nights. but not to many ladys out there willing to put up with my working life. the hr's are a bctih.

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I seem to go through months of single and then a couple of months of relationship, then single again. Every once in a while I can find some gal into CD and other fun stuff.

im still too young to think about it but so far i've never had a girlfriend yet. i was in a relationship that lasted barely 2 weeks but i guess that doesn't count. other then that every time i had the opportunity to start a friendship that would later turn into a relationship always ended at what it started. girls that i thought i had a chance with simply became my good friends and that was it. and they all knew very well to trust me with their secrets. well things they did with guys and how hot it was and bla bla bla. at first i was shocked that my lady friend was telling me all that. i guess somehow they got the idea that i wasn't a typical macho guy and so they accepted me just as another friend. back then however i had no idea i was a cd. on my side though even now days whenever i see a pretty girl i really don't know what to think. do i want to be with her or do i want to have her body. so if i would have a girlfriend i would just end up being jelouse of her body or just any other feminine trait. so.. ye.

it does put a deffernt kink into the saying,
boy would i love to get into her pants:heehee::heehee:


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Originally Posted by Treetop Louise

[SIZE="3"][SIZE="3"]Are any of you long time, or lifetime single? If you are, have you been seeking a dating life, friendship? Or, are you giving up, coming to accept, that you will be solitary, never have a mate? I did a lot of dating in my 30's, but, i was not cding then. Now, at almost 56, lower income, and, soon having to care for my dad, i don't see a lot of hope, and am becoming accepting, that i likely will never be a husband, or father. At times, it hurts tremendously, especially when people talk about their mates, kids, and grandkids, and me being the loner! But, a minority of us, never had the chance, to have SO and kids. CDing , of course, does it even slimmer. Maybe I'm belly aching now, as i am in pain, from hernia surgery! Enjoyed the superduper bowl.[/SIZE][/SIZE]

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Well I was going to say "I'm right there with you," except I'm 26. :P But I do understand what you mean: I get jealous of all the pretty young couples getting married all around me, I kind of have a "whoa, never thought that would happen" moment when I find out some old friends are now parents, etc. And I know I still have lots of time, but I'm seeing the pickings get slimmer and slimmer every year. It *IS* discouraging. I'm with ya.

"born alone die alone no crew to keep my crown or throne" - nasir jones

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Originally Posted by Treetop Louise

Are any of you long time, or lifetime single? If you are, have you been seeking a dating life, friendship? Or, are you giving up, coming to accept, that you will be solitary, never have a mate?

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[SIZE="2"]I’m a lifelong single. I came close to getting married about eight years ago, but it didn’t work out. I had fun dating, but I’m comfortable being single and solitary – it suits me just fine, because a lot of frenetic activity and worry just wears me out. My original GF is still out there, and I see her from time to time (in fact I should be writing to her rather than writing this post!). I may see her later this year, as a matter of fact. She always tells me she loves me, and I keep wondering if we will end up with each other when we get older – I think that is the un-discussed question between us, in fact she has brought up the idea from time to time. I cannot remember what my response was. I take care of my sister, who is eleven years older than me, and I’m trying not to think about what life would be like without her. My longtime GF has her problems, and I may prefer to live alone and avoid a situation where friction would arise (frequently). We’re soul-mates, but we just never got things aligned properly. Maybe that has happened for a reason. So, I haven’t quite given up yet, but the older I get the less active I become (in terms of dating). There may be one more romantic episode in my life, and I may have just enough strength to handle it…:straightface:[/SIZE]

I have been with lots of women/relationships and have been married/divorced 3 times. (two were gold-diggers, all had affairs leading to divorce). Last divorce was 14 years ago, and I have a teen daughter as proof. I lost my career, house, 6 figure income and declared bankruptcy in that deal...hehe. I am not criticising affairs, it is just something I am not interested in dealing with in a partner.

I am back on top again, and it will not be the last time I go from riches to poverty and back again. No regrets.

I am alone, but never lonely. I am always happy. I am just more realistic in expectations now. I have decided I am good at many things, but picking a partner is obviously not one of them. lol

Every person has positives and negatives about them. When you are dating someone one of your goals is to find out these aspects and then make a decision as to if you want to carry the relationship further.

Being transgender from most peoples perspectives is going to go down as a negative so with that said you MUST have a whole lot of positives to ofset the negative.

Another little tidbit. Have confidence!

I thought I was going to continue to be single for a long time. I actually like being single though. To my surprise though I met a girl...........so far all seems really awesome.

I think the best advice I ever got was - don't judge yourself by the person you're with, find happiness in myself, and if the opportunity presented itself, to share that happiness with another person.

As for kids, there are millions of children that need a supportive person in their lives - biology doesn't make a parent - caring does. Maybe you can find one child that needs a loving adult...or a classroom of kids and give of your time.

From the vantage point of fifty-plus I'd have to guess that we will see more and more single, never married, gender bending people in the future. There was a lot more sublimation, most of it at the sub-consciousness level, twenty and thirty years ago, and people got involved in 'normal' relationships and perhaps never really questioned why they felt certain 'inappropriate urges.'

I've been married 3 x, four kids, five grandchildren, and I don't regret any of it. However, I occasionally wonder if I'd grown up in a more open culture whether or not I'd have discovered the bisexual/TV part of me in my teens or twenties, and never have been involved in the suburban, backyard Barbecue, soccer and Little League scene.

On the other hand, let's make sure we all realize the threat which is posed to non-traditional lifestyles by the religious right agenda. You'd be terrified to know how many people there are out there who would like to criminalize homosexuality and transvestitism. The American Taliban is Christian, but it's policies are as homophobic and misogynistic as the Islamic version in Afghanistan.

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Originally Posted by Treetop Louise

[SIZE="3"]Are any of you long time, or lifetime single? If you are, have you been seeking a dating life, friendship? Or, are you giving up, coming to accept, that you will be solitary, never have a mate?[/SIZE]

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Yep, lifetime single. I let one get away who probably should have been "the one" and no-one else ever came close. Perhaps because I am transgender, although for years I denied it, GGs have always tended to confide in me as a "best friend" rather than look on me as a potential mate.

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Originally Posted by Treetop Louise

[SIZE="3"]I did a lot of dating in my 30's, but, i was not cding then. Now, at almost 56, lower income, and, soon having to care for my dad, i don't see a lot of hope, and am becoming accepting, that i likely will never be a husband, or father. At times, it hurts tremendously, especially when people talk about their mates, kids, and grandkids, and me being the loner! But, a minority of us, never had the chance, to have SO and kids.[/SIZE]

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I am in a similar position, just a couple of years younger, but also looking after my widowed dad on a low income. I am good with children, but can never see myself becoming a parent at this stage of my life; besides I now know I am a woman in a man's body, so I wouldn't get into the parenting game in that way.

Been single way to long have tryed free dating site but no success think females see me and run a mile. Not realy into pubs and clubs scene that not say I drink as I do but just social drink or pint while watching football in my local pub. I hope that one day I find my princess hopefully that is fine with my female side, also be help if she same size in clothes hehe.

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Originally Posted by Nylon Zoe

Been single way to long have tryed free dating site but no success think females see me and run a mile. Not realy into pubs and clubs scene that not say I drink as I do but just social drink or pint while watching football in my local pub. I hope that one day I find my princess hopefully that is fine with my female side, also be help if she same size in clothes hehe.

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Zoe, I doubt that females run when they see you... Honestly, I don't know how people ever meet people, except by getting out there (not the pub scene necessarily, but out interacting with other people in a myriad of environments). I don't believe there is "one" person, but rather a range of people that can work well with any of us. But the key is always to love thyself...in doing so, you become appealing to others and are capable of truly loving others.

I think your right there as never truly loved meself. I have start getting out there more as pub full of men watching match don't count and any females that are there are taking. Are woman still after romantic men. I've not giving up as someday I meet someone and the spark be there.

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Originally Posted by Nylon Zoe

I think your right there as never truly loved meself. I have start getting out there more as pub full of men watching match don't count and any females that are there are taking. Are woman still after romantic men. I've not giving up as someday I meet someone and the spark be there.

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just be yourself...and let life surprise you

I am married for 15 years and I love it. No way would I want to be single ever again!

Then again, my wife knows all about me, is completely accepting and on top of that deals with all of my crap.

I got it good!

Treetop Louise, I have been divorce for the last 18 plus years and have dated maybe five woman since then three out of the five knew I crossdress. The last one lasted the longest and it ended about five years ago.
Right now I don't really care if I find somebody or not, yes it would be nice if I did, but not in any hurry to find anyone. I can dress whenever I want, keep my body hair free, would like to lose some weight, been thinking about signing up for nutri-system as my feminine self.
I may be the odd person in a group but that don't stop my friends from inviting me to functions.
They don't know I dress as a woman and if they did I probably wouldn't get invited. That side of me stays in the closet but will still go out for drives dressed as a woman. I am hoping to go more as a woman but will have to travel to another city for that.

I am about to be divorced.
At 35, I am really wanting to taste freedom.
I have heard though that people tend to want to marry when they get older.

I think you could find a mate, just look at this - have you honestly tried to meet someone? I mean really tried? Just work on what you need to fix.

Thing is, make no mistake that kids are a real pain to raise. Yeah people act like it is a happy happy joy joy thing to have kids but behinds the scenes it is pretty tough. Some people tend to want to display their kids or grand kids as trophies. What you don't see is the amount of hassle involved.

Ya know with dating though, I don't know what the singles life is like for someone older than my age but aren't there sites for dating, like decent ones such as eharmony? I mean yeah there are jokes like craigslist but if a *real* dating site would work, would it be worth trying?

Wow I just don't know. I am on the other side, married but wanting my freedom.

For some of us, being single comes much easier than being coupled does.

At 60, I have spent a lifetime single, with little likelihood of that changing.

There is not even crossdressing to blame, because that is a recently adopted hobby for me.

Five or ten years between dates has not been unusual for me. For the most part, I rarely ever meet single women; sometimes none for years at a time.

One benefit of dressing up is that now women approach me, and initiate contact, which absolutely never happened in my pre-dressing, drab days.

It is not so bad being permanently single. A lot of conflict is avoided. When I have a dating relationship, I leave if conflict arises. The conflict is something that I don't need.

From time immemorial, going back over 40 years, marriage was not a life goal of mine. I did not want children or a wife.

And the fear of divorce was another factor that kept me away from marriage.

All in all, I vote for single.

i feel that if i put erica in a box and hide her then my odds of finding a gg are better than 30/70. im 44 divorced and have two son's, ex never knew about erica, its now 5 years later i have had one gg girlfriend and it lasted about two months she wanted erica to fly the cd flag and step up and step out, (just not my thing)

im coming to terms with who i am and what i must do ,if i want some one (so)

1 hide erica( in a box)
2 meet and greet (gg's)
3 find one i thing is or could be excepting of cd's
4 build trust and then tell her about erica
5 cover up and hide in cave if 4 go's wrong
6 if 4 go's wrong start over at 1 after 2 or 3 years in cave
7 if 4 works then take what she is willing to give, dont push and complain (die mostly happy ) its the best we can hope for


i have 1 down (never been cought and every thing fits in two big trunks

just cant seem to find where to meet gg's (any idea's) please....

It's never too late. I turn 58 last Nov 25 and got married for the first time when I was 57. Also had my kid, a great little 4 year old when I was 53. thats proves that it is never too late. I wouldn't suggest people as long as I did; but the right person did come around, it just a long time for me.