Is your wife jealous of your femininity?

Just a thought. And I realize there are different ideas as to what "femininity" is. I honestly think my wife is jealous of my clothing, my sense of style, and my ability to switch back and forth masculine to feminine.
My wife was always was a tomboy, always liked (still likes) sports, grew up on a farm, and was the youngest of three girls - everyone was hoping for a boy. I think as a youngster she filled that role for her dad, and never learned how to express her femininity.
For myself....I was always into the girls clothing, and from the age of three or four have been dressing. I guarantee I wear dresses, skirts, nylons, and heels MUCH MUCH more often than she ever did. While I don't think this is a HUGE issue for her, I sometimes sense the jealousy in that I'm more comfortable expressing my femininity than she is.
This isn't a show stopper by any means, but it's still there. I sometimes think it would be interesting for me to take over that role completely, but we've got the kids here and I'm not that sure she'd be into it.

Anyone have a similar experience with their wife/spouse/significant other?

I can just see it. A TS couple that both transition to the opposite gender in the eyes of the world. How about that? sounds rather interesting indeed.

Amused, confused and supportive, but I don't think she has been jealous.

Not at all. She has a healthy sense of self and seems to enjoy indulging me in expressing my femininity.

not in a million years, my missus can wear a boiler suit and doc martens and i still wouldn't be half the woman she is

My wife is my confident/advisor to the world of femininity. She is the teacher, Tina is the student. In 20 years we might be on a more equal footing, but Tina is surely no threat to the wonderfully feminine creature who is my adorable wife!

tina

Crysten, totally understand what you are saying! My wife doesn't have any issues at all with my dressing but she has outright told me she feels jealous that my clothes are more feminine than hers, that she feels slightly intimidated by how pretty I look when dressed and this more feminine presence in the house, etc. It's probably very self centred of me to take that as a compliment, but well I do. But she's quite tomboyish too, not really into girly girl stuff.
One thing, I've not ventured out of the house yet so the dressing up is strictly at home, and I get dressed to the nines while she's in her track pants (tried both of us getting tarted up together but in the end she couldn't be bothered). When we go out and she gets dolled up she really scrubs up nicely though, so I guess she's comparing an apple to a pear. Or something.

Jealous of my masculinity, maybe...

It's real simple... My SO can "out girl" me just by sneezing.

She's got nothing to be jealous about and, frankly, it's a source of constant amazement that she constantly "girls it up" and likes going through all the motions of doing so. I would not spend so much time on my real hair, my nails, etc. But, she does and enjoys doing so.

On the other hand, there's no way she can match my height, strength, physical stamina, etc. She has no chance growing a beard, getting her voice as low as mine, or, being willing to "mix it up" with an *hole if the occasion arises.

Is she jealous of those "manly traits"? Well, maybe sometimes. But, she's figured out she can borrow them, as needed, from me...

But, seriously, neither of us is jealous of the other about anything...

Our life together is NOT a competition; it's a COOPERATION.

I wouldn't say that she is jealous of it by any means. She is the real deal and I am only a wannabe. But I would say that she is threatened by my feminine traits. She feels like it intrudes on her territory.

There is nothing for her to be jealous about. She is beautiful, well put together, and makes the life of a woman, wife and mom look easy and fun most of the time.

Its like world renowned heart surgeon (her) being jealous of a doctor on a soap opera (me).

I guess I am the jealous one!!!!

Like sands throught the hour glass....:heehee:

Femininity? No.

Legs, body, clothing, skin, getting to have all the benefits of a woman without having to have periods? Yes.

:)

Kathi

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Femininity? No.

Legs, body, clothing, skin, getting to have all the benefits of a woman without having to have periods? Yes.

:)

Kathi

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K,

Probably you're only jesting, but on behalf of my former wife, I took offense at this response because she'd sometimes complain about CDers, "You have no idea what it's like to be a real woman."

There were times when she'd ponder the biological differences between men and women and get into a minor lather about "why things are the way they are..."

She had some good points to make, about men horning in on women's space by doing it part time, doing only the "icing" on the cupcake part, and so forth.

One of her complaints was, "all playing with no responsibility - not even ONE period!" That she died of ovarian cancer, something no CDer will ever die of, tends to make her case in some ways, I think, about "real" women having to deal with real issues - while CDs can just borrow the clothes, the attention, and so forth.

I asked my current SO about your post, just read it to her without saying anything first, and she surprised me by saying:

"I celebrated the end of my periods by going out and buying all new panties. I thought, "This is great. I'm not going to have to worry about staining my clothes or ruining things anymore." It didn't turn out that way all the time, but it was still a great thing not to have to worry about so much."

It's interesting that she could celebrate becoming more of a man, when you think about it.

Of course, this is the same woman who remarked this morning, about the panty thread:

"I just assumed men's underwear were more comfortable... They're not tight fitting, they don't ride up on you... And, I just wear underwear because that's what I have to wear under the "costume" I put on to go to work. And, I just buy what's for sale... Some of it's cuted-up, but mostly I just buy whatever I can - doesn't matter that much how it looks or feels - so long as it fits because they never seem to have my size anyway."

She's very petite, very curvy, and very sensibly sexy.

Period.

Nope. Not jesting. I was just echoing the things my wife has said to me that she is jealous of.

You are correct, though. She does feel that it's not fair at times. She says that I get to have the benefits of being a woman - the clothes, makeup, shopping and the like - without the "downsides" - the cramping, bloating, "fat days" and more. :)

It's totally true. Still, I enjoy the things I do get to do, and let her know that she will never have to worry about hair - both the overabundance of it and the chore of removing it en masse. She won't have to worry about a shorter lifespan on average, and other things. There are benefits of being a man. There are benefits of being a woman. There are downsides to both.

I meant no disrespect. If you have read even a few of my posts, I think you would know that. It's not my way.

Kathi

Jealous? Ah, no. But it has changed her. Before I started getting my nails done regularly (every two weeks), she would chew on hers like crazy. Now we go to the nail salon together for fills and pedi's. Before she used inexpensive drugstore cosmetics, now she uses better products that last longer and are better for her skin. Shortly after I had my ears pierced, she had hers done. There are other things as well, but I think you get the picture. She didn't make any of these changes out of jealousy... she saw my skin respond to lotions and creams better than the $.99 a gallon stuff she was using. She saw that my nails looked nice and realized she could do the same thing. And the ears? She had instant access to a pretty nice collection she could use. Darn smart lady, she is.

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Originally Posted by mklinden2010

She had some good points to make, about men horning in on women's space by doing it part time, doing only the "icing" on the cupcake part, and so forth.

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As someone who eats only the top of the muffin I find nothing wrong with only the icing on the cupcake. In my opinion everyone's life could use a few more muffin tops and less stumps. :hugs:

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

I enjoy the things I do get to do, and let her know that she will never have to worry about hair - both the overabundance of it and the chore of removing it en masse. She won't have to worry about a shorter lifespan on average, and other things. There are benefits of being a man. There are benefits of being a woman. There are downsides to both.

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You know sis I never thought of it that way. I fuss about body hair constantly. Not only do I have to shave my entire cro magnon body on almost a daily basis I must shave my face too. Whats up with that! And that dying early thing that really stinks. I want reparations!!!!!

Ultimately this isn't about fair or unfair. Its about acceptance and roles more than biology. In today's world the lines of gender seem to blend more and more each generation. Bottom line she gets to do things because of her gender that I am jealous of and I am sure vice versa, but working through that I what truly makes for a loving relationship. Your right MK love is not about competition its about cooperation.

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Originally Posted by SuzanneBender

Its like world renowned heart surgeon (her) being jealous of a doctor on a soap opera (me).

I guess I am the jealous one!!!!:

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:thumbsup::thumbsup:

I lost two wives to dressing or at least it was a large part of it. Neither seen much of it so I would have to say no. However I do have anumber of GG friends that are jealous. Not because I make a better girl but because I live in farm country and they are jealous as to how well thier clothes fit on me and how well I walk in heels.

Hell, it sounds like you two are made for each other, except that you will continually invade each other's insecurities...enjoy.. and do .. do .. talk!
Kaz xx

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Originally Posted by Sarah Charles

Amused, confused and supportive, but I don't think she has been jealous.

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All that and I'm sure she loves sharing my clothes. Jealous of my daily shaving perhaps.

Dee :fairy1:

My wife is a bit jealous I can wear high heels and with her bad back and not so good knees can't. She always loved wearing heels. Other then that no jealousy here.:hugs:
Angie

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Originally Posted by Kathi Lake

Nope. Not jesting. I was just echoing the things my wife has said to me that she is jealous of.

You are correct, though. She does feel that it's not fair at times. She says that I get to have the benefits of being a woman - the clothes, makeup, shopping and the like - without the "downsides" - the cramping, bloating, "fat days" and more. :)

It's totally true. Still, I enjoy the things I do get to do, and let her know that she will never have to worry about hair - both the overabundance of it and the chore of removing it en masse. She won't have to worry about a shorter lifespan on average, and other things. There are benefits of being a man. There are benefits of being a woman. There are downsides to both.

I meant no disrespect. If you have read even a few of my posts, I think you would know that. It's not my way.

Kathi

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K,

So, in the correct spirit of the OPs question, that earlier post was your wife's response.

Thanks for clearing that up.

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Originally Posted by TraceyM

not in a million years, my missus can wear a boiler suit and doc martens and i still wouldn't be half the woman she is

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Same here, or my case I don't even have 1/4 of her femininity.

No jealousy here (except the occasional "my God, that fits you?" :eek:). We share lots of tops and some shoes as well as tips and comments to help each other look our best.

While my wife isn't jealous I did figure out that I shouldn't tell her even in jest, that I have better legs that her.:doh:

The results weren't wonderful.:spank:

My late wife was never jealous of my femininity! With very good reason! She was acknowledged by her friends, including my own sister, as the ultimate in femininity! No matter what she wore, she was very definitely feminine. I could not even come close to that, even with her help! Which I did get all the time!

But I didn't care, and still don't! I am not trying to be a woman1 I just like to wear thier clothes!!