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hello all
well here i am led in bed in tights and knickers having just left my wife....another arguement about my not so secret hobby and hey presto 23 years of marriage up the swanny........i feel both relief that i can finally be who i want to be and sad at who i have trampled all over to get there.....
Tell me girls...is it worth it or have i made a huge mistake
steph:daydreaming:
No one can answer that question for you. You may want toa ask yourself quite honestly what is most important to you. You might also want to look more comprehensively at your relationship with your wife, what was good, not so good; and at the broader spectrum of your life and where your dressing and marriage fit into all of this. And finally, you might want to seek some counseling for yourself or as a couple to get a hopefully unbiased prfessional opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobble143
[SIZE="4"]I wish you and your wife the best in this difficult time ... talk to each other ;^)[/SIZE]
I am sure will find that your story is very much like a lot of folks here already..My marriage at about the same length as your aNd seperated now . My wife blamed Xdressing for the marriage termoil even tho she knew about it long before we took our vows..
You prolly should ask yourself what you really want? Did you wife call the marriage off? Are you planning a new lifestyle ?
As for me and if it was worth it?..Yes it was but it took time to see that looking back on my marriage ..I do miss her but not who she is today..
Good luck and welcome to the forum.. You will get overwhelming support from here..
Steph, good or bad, right or wrong, who knows. But where you happy living the way you where living? you talk of another fight, I know with my first wife I just had so many fights in me, and then it just was no longer worth it to me. I hadn't been married as long as you had, but long enough to see things where not going to change. I needed to find away to live my life with out the stress that was caused by all the bickering. Both my first wife and I went on to find a mate much better for ourselves, and I can say missing out on so much of my children's lives is the only regret I have ever had about it. I found a great and understanding woman, that excepts be for what I am, and I return the same courtesy to her. It's worked out pretty good for the last 40 years. and since I have retired, I spend more time dressed as a female, than as a male, and we are both fine with it.
I hope things turn out as well for you and your missus.
Tina B.
You have done what you had to, not trampled over anybody. Keep your relationship friendly. But most importanjt - are there kids involved?
Hugs
Is it worth it is up to you. I could not see going through life with out my wife as my side. But then she is accepting of my secret.:hugs:
Angie
Is it worth it? No.
Have you made a mistake? No. Absolutely not. This isn't something you chose. It's a characteristic you were born with. So how can it be a mistake?
I almost lost my wife a few years ago. I told her I would gladly stop, if I could, but can't. It's a part of me. Who I am as a person. She stuck around.
23 years of commitment...that's a year short of matching my age but I'm pretty much certain that the only one who can decide if this was a mistake or not is YOU. I could offer kind and comforting words but after losing someone you thought was "good enough" to be with for 23 years, I can only imagine those words feeling hollow and meaningless. Just don't give in the hollowness in your heart and eventually, the sun will shine again. *hug*
There is nothing to be gained by deciding if it was a mistake or not. The past is past, go ahead, hold your pretty head high, and go bravely into the future as the girl you are. Don't look back. You can't change what has happened, but I'm sure you will learn from the experience.
Best of luck!
life does go on, been this way for twenty years. yes it gets very lonely, and the bed is cold...but there is always next week. keep in the good thoughts and have a nice day.
Loni
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23 Years...that's like exactly how long my last one lasted. Since then, it's been like so totally the best last three years overall I've had. I've learned it's not me that's like screwed up, it's the world or wutever. I have finally learned to luv myself and live my life totally as the girl I am. It only depends on how bad you want it and what "it" is, CD full time/part time all the way to full transition full time I guess, so only you can like decide for yourself and go for the brass ring on life's carousel so to speak. Probably dropping the whole "other self" as though it wasn't in you is not a option.The longer you like wait or wutever making concessions, the longer you will be in turmoil trying to like please everyone else & society. Do what you need to do, the first step is the hardest. I wish you nothing but good luck in your decision.
When push comes to shove, MOST of those marriages were NOT so great WITHOUT the CDing issue! It just seems to be a handy nail to hang a hat on!:sad:
I couldn't make 10 years with MY ex. And, CDing had NOTHING to do with our break up.:doh:
Remember, over 50% of ALL marriages FAIL these days! How many of THOSE do u imagine r because of CDing!?:brolleyes:
My guess is; if your wife, or ANY wife, was really happy with u, she wouldn't throw out the baby with the bath water! CERTAINLY NOT after 23 satisfying years! :straightface:
I can only tell how it was for me. I got divorced 3 years ago [nothing to do with crossdressing] although she was 100% against it.
Now, after adjusting to my new way of life I can say I have never been happier.
I hope the same happens in your case bobble.
It just takes time.
Hugs, SUZY