Being asexual

Here's a question for the crossdressers only please.

How many of you, NOT on HRT, consider yourselves asexual? or consider yourselves asexual unless you are dressed?

In other words, is the only turn on for you dressing or feeling like a woman in the bedroom? By that I mean, you need the typical foreplay and warm up like a woman to feel sexual? Or tactile sensations associated with the materials (satin, silk, velvet etc) to feel turned on? or both?

Please be tasteful in your responses. If you want to be more open than is allowed on a public forum, please PM me.

I actually looked up asexual and read the definitions posted. It is listed as "a lack of sexual attraction" and "sometimes considered a lack of sexual orientation"...My wife sometimes gets to questioning me about things. She will ask, "so when did you stop liking sex? or do you want to be a girl? I typically do not really have any desire to have sex. I have always been repressed with such desires. I usually always got picked up by women. I was never the persuer. I do prefer being with a woman sexually. (have been married for 22 years) When I see women dressed nice I usually want to be like them. I actually prefer dressing in femenine attire. I wish I knew more about it. Unfortunately I am not a psycologist! I have had this desire since the age of 9 or so. I do like the feel of the clothing (silky unders, pantyhose and the silk skirt linings). I still do not understand it and sometimes get upset with myself because I am this way. It however does not change how I feel. I do not know if this helps but this is just how I feel. Obviously everyone is different.

Rachel

All my life I always tried to make sense of my asexuality...sometimes I think it was a way to repress my sexual and gender identity ..sometimes I think it was hormonal or could be both...the thing is that only that when I asumed a female role I could find the key for my sexual and gender identity ..clothes and tactile sensation associated with materials dont do it for me...the inner feeling and softness of being femenine is what drives me.

I have to say, Christiesgirl's definition of asexuality is far different from what I have heard, and for a long times thought I was part of. My understanding is that it is the lack of wanting sex. To an extent I find myself in this category. This is evident due to that even with the GG, really wanted a platonic relationship, that is a relationship that is intimate and has everything but messing with the sex organs. Yes I know that sounds odd, but that is what I wanted. As time went by then perhaps a full sexual relationship could have started, but honestly I don't want sex with someone unless we both feel it is right.

Gads I am so odd when compared to most men.

There are times I think the great maker had a great laugh when it wired me. Most men would have jumped and gotten sexual with her ASAP...in fact several did...without her consent. Maybe being odd is not such a bad thing.

As far as having a response to tactile things like silk, and other clothing or materials. To me the clothing that is designated for men not only hides our bodies but also blocks off sensual experiences. Pantyhose, skirts, leggings, and other items that only women are really able to wear abound with sensual feelings. It is like men, like women are forbidden in daily life from feeling "sexy", but instead of being told to repress your sexual urges and fantasies, men are also blocked off from tactile enjoyment. I really don't know.

I will say I love the feel of hose on my legs. I love the gentle squeeze of my spandex jeans. I love how my legs look in both of those. The feel of getting into a skirt wearing nothing but tights under it is wonderful. The sensation of the hem of my skirt gently brushing against my leg, or the feel of my GG's fingers running up and down my hose covered leg. Why we men are limited from these feelings is quite beyond me. Why we are considered "fetishists" in the negative because we like these is just mind boggling.

I guess my definition is both not wanting sex, and/or not wanting sex in the absence of CD'ing. Yet, even saying the "absence of CD'ing" has several questions....

CD'ing from what I understand is more than just being dressed. It is wanting to feel feminine and like a woman, being treated as a woman would be treated sexually, extended foreplay, soft caressing etc... my ex (who may or may not have been a CD'er) typically needed foreplay to get going and would say things like, "I can't just turn it off and on!" etc.. Before being with him, I had never experienced a man that needed that to get erect.

I am a visual-tactile person, typically male traits. I am finding that I can't even explain myself however and I have a lot of orientation confusion or blending... I like the visual simulation of the female form, but when it gets right down to it, I don't want a 'real girl', I want a man with female characteristics. I also recognize that I have a more male oriented attitude and outlook. It makes it difficult to find a 'life partner'.

I'm finding things very messy in my mind at the moment, and trying to sort thought it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ChristiesGurl

Here's a question for the crossdressers only please.
-------------By that I mean, you need the typical foreplay and warm up like a woman to feel sexual? Or tactile sensations associated with the materials (satin, silk, velvet etc) to feel turned on? or both? --------------------------

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This is the only part of your post I can relate to Gurl.
Dressing is quite sexual for me. Oddly enuff, not dressed, I generally orgasm often and fairly quickly!

When dressed the style/type of clothes I'm wearing affects how sexual I feel and the complete image I see in the mirror, how excited I get!
Regardless, when dressed it nearly ALWAYS requires lengthy female type of foreplay before I finish! I've come to appreciate that extra time and effort!
And, it separates my male from my female persona in a VERY distinct way!

I find mysef being attracted to some women that are obviously available and give me a feeling that things could spark. But I then introvert into my little world of being Tina, perhaps I fear the hassle of a realionship. It is easy to be Tina, but a realionship could be a hassle.

I have a separation between my mind and my body, making it difficult to enjoy sex. I am mostly repulsed by the act. But I like the idea. I've the discovered I need more foreplay then your average woman to get in the mood. And still I will almost certainly withdraw when it becomes very physical. If not you must have done some magic enhancements or something nice like that. Probably with a bit of alcohol.

I agree with Pythos on this. Same here. The one or two times i was alone with a GG, and touching everywhere EXCEPT the sex organs. I just would not go all the way! I always have felt like a PREDATOR, when pursuing a GG. I always felt women were afraid of me, and my advances, so have always felt guilty about being the pursuer. However, when dressed up, I feel sensual and attractive, and think about being with a gentleman, though i am attracted to women.

As usual, there are far more varied responses than I expected!! Which is not a bad thing...