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The other day I was with my neighbor at Walmart, wondering around with her and her brothers wife. Going past hardware, out of the side of my eye, I noticed to guys staring. Soon as we were past them, one of them said "It's a tranny!", then giggling.
Normally... I would just ignore them. But there was something about that day that had me in a good mood and extremely relaxed. So I turned around and asked if that was all they had to say to me. They both ran off. :lol2:
Easiest way to defeat a wannabe verbal "bully"
Look straight at them and fearlessly speak truth in a polite and civil manner.
I am all for saying something back, not confrontational but along the same lines of your comment. Most people don't expect it and don't know how to reply to it and like the guys with you just go.
good for you , never let them get to you , ask them if they would like to take a picture with you !
are we coming out of our shell Andrea!
I found one deadly tool that works the best......................Smile, every where I go I smile the most real smile, after all I have a lot to smile about, and I see them first puzzled, questioning their own perception, but finally they can not resist and have to smile back. After a day like this how can you not dance back home :)
Hehehehehe, two little boys afraid of their own shadow, that is what that sounds like to me Andrea.
In every single incident where someone has tried to 'out' me those that tried to start something soon wished the hell
they hadn't & the truth was I really didn't have to do a whole lot. The most important thing is always maintain your
dignity & don't show any fear or nervousness towards those bullying you. So be confident, quick witted & maintain
a strong sense of humour while being prepared to stand up for yourself.
So since we are sharing these stories here are my real life experiences where someone tried to 'out' me in public.
I had a couple of incidents when I started living full-time as a female, the first time was in a supermarket, it was late
at night & my voice was sore, so I was more lazy with my feminine voice back then. But there was an aboriginal guy
going through the checkout in front of me & he overheard me speak to the cashier. Well then he stopped another guy
& was pointing me out yelling 'That's a man!'. The girl who was serving me asked me 'I wonder what his problem is?'.
I shrugged my shoulders & said 'I dont know?'. We both started laughing. :heehee: Well when this guy realised we were now
laughing at him, he turned and ran out of the store. When I went to leave the store I realised that this guy had parked
right next to my car, so I was walking towards my car & when he seen me coming, he thought I was coming over to
confront him. He crapped himself & jumped in his car & took off, howling his tyres as he left the car park. Now that
was funny & it really would have been great to have caught the whole thing on video, but he learnt a lesson I think :heehee:
The other time was when I was in a thrift store & another transgendered woman who looked like a Samoan Fa'afafine to
me with a really masculine face overheard me talking to the cashier interrupted us & said 'You got the face of a man'.
I turned around & replied 'And what you don't honey? Then I added... And just because I think you have a face that
looks like a dog I am not so rude to interrupt the way that you did & tell you that' Well there was about 4 other people
standing behind us that heard everything & they just burst out laughing at what I said. I also had my purse in my hand
at the time because I was paying for stuff. So my drivers licence visible in a window. So I shoved it in her face & said
'Does my licence say that I am a man does it?'. She looked & then realised it had my sex marked as 'F' & she says
'Oh, so you are a woman'. I said 'Yeah, now get out of my face'. The staff told her to leave the store but by that
stage she couldn't get out fast enough after the way that she just embarrassed herself. I put this one down to it
was her own insecurity & she sometimes felt the need to try & take that out on others & bring them down to her level.
But last weekend when I was out with four other girlfriends & we were in a restaurant, this woman at the next table
was just staring & studying me for over 10 minutes, then she made a comment about my hair, saying how nice it looked
but then one of my girlfriends had also noticed her also staring at me for quite some time as well, so then she asked the
woman if she had a problem with me. This then got the attention of my other girlfriends. But when when the woman
replied she said 'he' then corrected herself & said 'she'. But my girlfriends didn't seem to appreciate it & I didn't say a thing
but my girlfriends all pounced on her, eventually forcing her & the male she was with to leave. One of my girlfriends told
me later that she liked how dignified I acted during the incident by not saying a thing to her.
I love these stories. Keep them coming!
I'm trying to, but some days I just get pulled back in. Luckily that wasn't one of those days. :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Aprilrain
I enjoy the ones that get the offender relaxed, then everyone learns and has a good time.
In Vegas, many of us walked into one of the casinos. While standing there talking, a man with two ladies was staring. One of our group broke away towards the man and starting talking "There you are. I was wondering what happened to you last night and kept looking for you. I was having such a wonderful time." First his eyes got big and her started backstepping. And when the ladies started laughing he did too. It turned into a great discussion.
Speaking of dignity and funnies although it wasn't related to any transgender issue while we were stationed in Charleston, SC one of the states where racial progress may be just a touch behind the rest my wife for the better part of a year watched two beautiful children for a black single father who worked a different shift at the same plant I worked at. If we needed to go out for dinner, errands or whatever we didn't really think much about it we just took my friends two boys with us. At dinner one night at a family buffet style restaurant after seeing multiple groups of people stare at my wife, me and those two babies and back again trying to puzzle it out I finally stood up and declared loudly "We borrowed them, ok? We're going to take them back right after dinner." With the great mystery solved we continued our meal in peace.
Your dignity in all three situations is amazing. It's also awesome to see that you have such a supportive group of friends although I would liked to have read that they acted with same dignity you did. The woman's initial curiosity and positive comment are unfortunately not the final impression she left with.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melody Moore
I was at Perkins Thursday night with my wife and a friend. Having a fine time, when 3 teen girls were seated in a booth near ours. Well, you know how teen girls are. They lack souls. The giggling and whispering and "nonchalant" turning and looking starts. And keeps up. For like 20 minutes. My wife, who tends to be VERY protective of me, is salivating at the chance to scream at these girls. Which is not my thing. i want the folks who point and giggle and don't know how to react to have a positive experience and remember me as a human - so that next time they see one of our sisters, there is more understanding and less pointing and giggling. So on the way out I stopped at the table just long enough to get their attention - watch their faces go white - and say "You know girls, when you laugh at people who are different than you are, it doesn't make you look cool, it makes you look insecure. Enjoy the rest of your evening!" I didn't wait for a response - I wasn't going to get one. I turned and walked to the counter to pay.
Anxious? Hell yeah. I had spent the last 20 minutes rehearsing my line. But the guy in the booth next to theirs came up to me in line and told me he thought what the girls had been saying about me was way out of line and that he thought what I said to the girls was awesome...
I don't know if it was a win or not - but I whole heartedly think that when we confront the cowardly bullies - we do more good than harm. At the very least we don't become complicit in their behavior.
At first, I thought this was going to be one of those stories relating to a misunderstanding. "Of course it's the tranny," the other guy responded "No other component in your car is going to make that kind of noise."Quote:
Originally Posted by andy85
Thank you all for relating how you dealt with your situations - it may come in very handy one day.
That's a great response Hope. I hope you felt good when you said that. Kids can be so hurtful... they just need to grow up a little bit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hope
You women are just awesome! Thanks for sharing these stories!
I think the response should be to say to them, in one's best femme voice, "You wouldn't believe how often I've heard that silly statement!"
Leave 'em guessing! :)
I know it's a shame, but there was some alcohol involved that night, but also I have to question whetherQuote:
Originally Posted by Jason+
the woman was sincere in her initial comments because at times her stares were very unnerving. I forgot
to mention in my first post that I actually asked her at first was she OK. Then she replied to me making a
comment about my hair. I forgot to mention how exactly my girlfriends made this woman & her boyfriend
leave. They were telling the boyfriend to 'Get him out of here' purposely using improper pronouns because
of the way she referred to me. They are really a good bunch of girlfriends who were really just sticking up
for one of their own. I am extremely lucky to have made such wonderful friends who will go to lengths for me.
We're here, we're people, we have rights
That really is the most important part, there's a lot to be said for you being you and friends that will support you to no end while you are at it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melody Moore