Is it lonely in your closet?

As I explore my CDing in therapy I'm feeling better about my self and about my fem side which as I explore my feelings I'm allowing my self to be okay with the fact that my fem side is more than just a side. It's more of who I am. I want out of my closet, and I know my wife is not ready for that. And I'm not either but I know staying in my closet is not in my future. Some times when I'm all dressed up the hole nine yards and I'm feeling so good sometimes I get really sad because I feel so lonely all locked up in my house. My question is it lonely in your closet.
Hugs, Janelle

Mine was, that's why I left it. Never going back.

Hi Janelle,
Very lonely in my closet. I dont currently have any clothes whatsoever...no lingerie, lipstick, nothing. I have not had any for years. My wife doesnt like it. We have had some nice times with Jennifer in the past but she prefers me more in guy mode. However, since joining this site I feel Im changing and coming into my own. The woman in me is emerging and she is a beautiful person. I cant dress up but my wife is seeing another side that she likes. I feel more relaxed and comfortable in my own skin without the guilt and shame that unfortunately has been a major factor in my life regarding Jennifer since I wore my sisters panties at the age of 12. Good luck with therapy and if you choose to tell your wife.
Take care,
Jennifer

I've been out of the closet for a while so it is hard to remember exactly what it felt like; however, I do remember wanting more than being trapped in its confines so out I stepped and have not looked back since then.

One thing to check into are transgender groups in your area. They are often safe places so you can get out and meet others. Think of it as an extension of your closet.

Mine wasn't... Because a rarely am alone in my normal life and I really enjoy my own company!!

Don't forget I was in the "closet" but going still going out in public enfemme.... If that's possible. Lol.

It was very lonely for me. Getting out is like escaping confinement.

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Originally Posted by Melissa Rose

I've been out of the closet for a while that is it hard to remember exactly what it felt like; however, I do remember wanting more than being trapped in its confines so out I stepped and have not looked back since then.

One thing to check into are transgender groups in your area. They are often safe places so you can get out and meet others. Think of it as an extension of your closet.

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Best advice you will get here. It was just exactly that that got me out. I now can't even imagine life without my girlfriends that I met through a local TG group.

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Originally Posted by Melissa Rose

I've been out of the closet for a while that is it hard to remember exactly what it felt like; however, I do remember wanting more than being trapped in its confines so out I stepped and have not looked back since then.

One thing to check into are transgender groups in your area. They are often safe places so you can get out and meet others. Think of it as an extension of your closet.

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Where I live the closest is two hours away but I have meet some others already and do plan to go to some of there events. But I what to be free to dress and go where I want when I want. Janelle

It's definitely lonely. I have gotten bored with dressing up and sitting around the house, feeling trapped, in a sense. Isolated. It's just not as fulfilling anymore, either. I need to get out. I didn't always feel like that, and there was a time when I was perfectly content to spend my time dressed alone. Not anymore. I have decided to tip-toe out of the closet and I'm feeling good about it. Two weeks from today I will be meeting others, getting a makeover, and going out in public with a group, all for the first time. My hope is that this experience will be the kick start I need in order to begin a new chapter.

Caution, Don't let the "Pink Fog" get you! While your closet may seem like a lonely place, if the wife is not ready to deal with it, you could cause a great riff in your relationship. You want lonely, wake up and find yourself alone.
Tina B.

i know how hard is to come out but the only thing stopping me from bring me is me. only afew people know i am a cder my wife sister and 1 good freind i now live alone and the colset is getting very lonley but i still have to get passed me to come out completeley i hope this helps you understand yourself

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Originally Posted by Shy Girl

Where I live the closest is two hours away but I have meet some others already and do plan to go to some of there events. But I what to be free to dress and go where I want when I want. Janelle

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That's great to hear Janelle, I know how you feel and I am with you in spirit all the way hon.

Hugs Charlotte

I don't know if lonely would be the exact word for me. As far as shopping en femme and public displays I am still comfortable within the cocoon of the closet. Socially, I know there are others like me in this area that I would like to have the opportunity to meet and engage friendships with, so from that aspect - yes it is lonely.

I am alone in my closet, but it is not lonely at the present time. i am still so new at this that i find my closet to be a fascinating place filled with the wonderful clothes and shoes, and there are more types of clothing I haven't tried yet. So, I am lucky in a way that I am older, 65, but a young CDer, 7mos, and I have not yet gotten over the utter new and appealing feelings when i dress at home.

I know I will tire of this, and have already begun to develop the plans to venture out of the house as Barbara. Dont know who, what, where, when,or how, but I see it in my progression. Think that public interaction with other like minded girls is way in the future, but after my smallish closet, just being out in the sunshine driving, or walking for awhile will be so wonderfully expansive.

Barbara

Just before I retired, I realized that my closet (House) was way to small.
So I doubled the size of my "closet" just yo accommodate my expanded dressing.
But I am still not leaving the friendly confides of safety of the closet.
Rader

Yea its pretty lonely in here for me atm. I do occasionally drag my SO in here with me, but nothing really happens.

My closet is still pretty small (my bedroom, I need to start living on my own) but it may expand soon given I have no more uni and everybody else will be out for a good while!

Still would prefer a more permanant space.

My closet can be lonely at times. But I take advantage of my opportunties to leave it I'm still learning a great deal so for now, the extended closet, with occasionally forays away from it is the best place for me to be.

Its not just a questions of lonely but, who are you going to share it with, and the sense of filfillment it gives to you and your life. So lonely at times maybe, but not secretive either.

Left the "closet" a long time ago Hon. To really get in touch with yourself and your feelings you will need to eventually get out and interact with folks. A one man (or one woman) show gets old after awhile.:)

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Originally Posted by Shy Girl

As I explore my CDing in therapy I'm feeling better about my self and about my fem side which as I explore my feelings I'm allowing my self to be okay with the fact that my fem side is more than just a side. It's more of who I am. I want out of my closet, and I know my wife is not ready for that. And I'm not either but I know staying in my closet is not in my future. Some times when I'm all dressed up the hole nine yards and I'm feeling so good sometimes I get really sad because I feel so lonely all locked up in my house. My question is it lonely in your closet.
Hugs, Janelle

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The question in my mind is what has dressing to do with feeling fem? If those 2 things were connected, GGs wouldn't be able to stay put for a minute. It seems to me that you might benefit from trying to define the things you call fem, and how they relate to life in general, and your life specifically, and what the dressing to the nines has to do with having "feminine feelings" because they are not connected.
There are members of this board who dress for reasons other that feeling fem. Dressing to the 9s might have some "exhibitionism" attached, like any other costume. Some folks wear camo "to play soldier" but would never join up, some guys dress like gang wannabes, but are not of the ilk. I'm in the closet, yet I dress in women's clothes every day, and go out doing my usual business. No, I don't wear a skirt, because that has nothing to do with having a "fem" outlook or inner feelings. You could be stark naked and still have fem feelings.If you get together with some baseball buddies, do you go home and put on your baseball uniform so you can get together? Not likely.
So getting out of the closet is not an issue of dressing IMHO, but some other aspect yet to be discovered.
Your quote from NIN in interesting, but there are a number on the forum who would probably say that "blossoming" did them in , in more ways than one. It is dangerous to live by fictional quotes, especially those written by her. Be careful what you wish for! You may get it. or "a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, but sometimes journeys of a thousand miles end badly"
best to you in sorting it all out. I know it is not an easy task.

It's lonely, cold, and dark in my closet. While I have most of the place to myself a lot of time while the GF is working, i still want to pass through that threshold and go out. Some days I am a bit more bolder than others and actually walked into the yard fully dressed but quickly returned to the closet.

I've been out of the closet for year, I'm not lonely.

Closet, cave, tomb, etc, it does get lonely at times, but luckily I can find joy in my obsessive photo sessions.

No room in mine for me...too many clothes...(oops...did I say too many?????)

The closet that you live in is one you have made, you have the key to the door. I am a closet CDer only because I choose to be there. I underdress every day, the clothes that I wear do not make the person that is inside of them. We are who we are and CDing is just the same as wearing camo to the store or a hocky shirt to a resturant. ( thanks busker for the thought).
There are those of us who have no intention of ever going out fully dressed in Femm, I went to a car show this weekend underdressing with stockings and a Danskin sport full top. I had heel dress boots and a leather coat and I still talked "cars' all day long. My wife was with me, so no it's not lonely in my closet, sometimes it's scary and sometimes I wonder what I am doing there, it's mine, I have made it what I want and am happy to reside there. This site and the Ladies that are here have helped to make the world a lot less scary, thank you!