My Girlfriends Discovery

A little while ago i started putting a website together (not finished yet) . my GF wanted to put a piece in it about how she feels about having a TG partner. I think you may find it intresting to see how she feels. Have a read... thank god for enlightened partners! ...


The Day I lost My Knickers
Hello, let me introduce myself. I am Jane, Paula’s partner. Yes, contrary to popular and very ignorant belief about Cross Dressers and TV’s they do have opposite sex wives and girlfriends and I am one of those. The reason I decided to participate in Paula’s site is really to bring a reality element to the site, that this is not some fantasy being fulfilled by her or me, commonly known as "bedroom fun". It’s real life, it happens and for anyone out there who is plain ignorant, or in many cases desperately wanting to come "out of the knicker drawer" then that’s what I am here for. To tell my side of the story and to say that should you, or maybe your partner need a friendly ear to bend I am here to offer support and understanding to both parties.
So, what happened "The Day I Lost My Knickers", well to be honest. I have to say I didn’t really freak. I am a very spiritually minded person, and have been on a very high spiritual path since I was a child. I have never been indoctrined into "society’s beliefs or faiths" I have always believed that each individual is on their own path of learning and experience and should follow where ever that path leads them. I have spent many years looking into relationships, how we all function, what can go wrong and I can only see the main basic reason for making life hard for each other is because we, (society), have been indoctrined to Victorian values of ignorance and fear.
For us it all happened one evening of bedroom fun when I jokingly made my partner dress up in some of my clothes, I meant it as a giggle and we did have some fun I can tell you, but he did say to me at the time "You do realise you could be opening up a can of worms here?" Well, me being me just laughed it off at the time, had a jolly wizzy time playing about all night and forgot about it the next morning. It became apparent over a few days that something was different. He seemed different. We were actually working away from each other at the time and spent what must have been about 6 hours on the phone one evening before he flew out to Spain to visit a business colleague talking about "the can of worms". I remember lying on my bed listening to him totally open up, tell me about his feelings, and all I did was ask rather in-depth, searching questions, each one helping him to open up and tell me EVERYTHING. From then on we talked more, in fact we talked each day. Perhaps because we were on the opposite ends of a phoneline there is a bit of distance between you. It would have been just the same as him writing it all in a letter to me. Some of you may find this way of dealing with it as a kind of cop-out and not being able to talk about it face to face. But, let’s do a reality check here. For someone to come out of a closet and say they are a cross-dresser or TV is one hell of an emotional upheaval for both parties and takes more balls than most men have.
There are two ways you can face this (1) get your trainers on and leg it, or (2) listen, cut out the ignorant indoctrination and share something very special and I mean special. As Paula’s partner I can say I have the most emotionally, in tune guy on earth and I know that every other wife or girlfriend in the same position as me will say exactly the same thing. To understand the psyche and where all this comes from is very deep and is something I shall be writing about in the future for the site. But I can safely say that from my perspective, I have someone to go shopping with for knickers, someone who doesn’t tell me "Your bum looks big in that" and I actually have no fear of "losing my knickers" well only if they are ripped off in a moment of gay abandonment, (that’s another story!). Paula is only the other side to my partner’s psyche that I have longed for and I am not talking bi-sexually. Come on, it’s hard to be bi-sexual with a **** in a frock is it ????
What I am trying to say is, that for those of you who are out there and want to come out of the closet, or those who suspect their partner, or who have just come out, then you are not going to actually lose anything you are going to gain something. If you have children then I can hardly see your partner prancing round in front of them, give the guy some credibility. He is also highly unlikely to disappear off on a Friday night wearing his suspenders and stockings to a local meeting either. The best way to handle all this is to talk, listen and share. Allow all your own feelings and emotions to flow. Paula and I have talked over and over about this subject and at any time when perhaps she wants to be out, but I don’t want her I say so, she doesn’t intrude into our lives, she isn’t there all the time. Once again I hardly think your partner is going to come out of the closet and immediately change his wardrobe and appear at work as another persona – it just doesn’t happen. I am also not saying it wont happen in the future, but as I have said previously we all have a path to follow, we are all here for a reason and whatever you do in this life to stop your partner, to shove that other persona back into the closet it won’t happen, because once "she" is out, she is there for keeps.
Perhaps you have been through something similar to me, or maybe it was harder for you then let’s all get together and share our feelings; share with each other. Feel free to mail us with your story, with helpful hints, suggestions ANYTHING. This site is for everyone. Send in your pics, show us who you are and be proud of yourself, send in your dirty bedroom stories or fantasies too – we all like those for a little adult entertainment
If we think back 20 years ago when gay men and women were coming out of the closet all we could do was ridicule them, but now we see the subject appear on everyday television. There should be no alternative lifestyles, we should never ridicule anyone for being "themselves" or who they know they are whatever gender that may be. Men are 60% male and 40% female, and women are 60% female and 40% male, this is a scientific fact and all that cross-dressers and TVs are doing is balancing out their male and female counterparts within themselves and we are the ones who gain. I have to say, I don’t want some emotionally ****ed up guy who thinks he is gods-gift, I would much rather spend an evening in the arms of my partner or Paula than having to plump up someone else’s rather small ego, or should that be penis !!
For those of you who have stumbled across this site out of shear curiosity and are now thinking "raving puffs" amongst other ignorant and uneducated sentences I can safely say that Paula is "more of man than you will EVER be"
Until next time.
Jane xxx

Bravo! Nice post. You go,girl! I agree on all levels.

Paula,
I believe your gf has hit many nails on the head. It is wonderful to hear form someone that is so realistic about having a cd,ing partner. I agree with her that this does not change the person inside but only is an enabler to bring out the real true feelings and emotions in all of us. I also agree to the fact that most outsiders do not give their mates enough credit to realise they are
not idots, and will start to do many stupid things to their family and children. There are those who do, as we all know, but there are other personality traits
within them that would make them do stupid things anyway.
A great post and good luck with your site.
Sara

A wonderful and enlightening piece!!


Thanks to both of you for that. I'll visit your site for sure

Pieces such as that are sooooo powerful.

Hugs Ellaine

It's ignorant and small-minded to think that our entire personality is what it is simply because of the box we were nailed into at birth is either male or female. I'm glad I found both. It simply makes me a better and more well-rounded person. It's the rest of the world that demands that we stay in the box. It's like telling Renoir that his "On The Terrace" is a lousy piece because we took it out of the frame. Ridiculous! Notice how beautiful it is WITHOUT the frame. We, all of us, are the same way. We just like to change frames from time to time.

You two actually put a lump in my throat with that one!

Thank you for sharing:o

Lynne

my SO has once again flip flopped on my need to dress.

She has been try ing to get me to stop until on day last week when she came home from work after having viewed a coworker halloween picture showig her husband fully made up as little bo beep.

She was curious so she asked how long it took to get him to want to do it. The coworker replied "no time at all" he likes to dress that way. My SO was shocked that but then reveled that so do I. Apperntly they talked for a while about it and when I arrived home that evening from work I got a big surprise. She said "why not get out of those clothes I have left your house clothes on the bed". When I arrived in the bedrom I saw jennifer's housedress laid out on the bed with some nice lingere (she has just bought me) and my wig. She follwoed me into the bedroom and insisted I be comfortable with what I wear aroud the house. Since then I have not won a single piece of my male clothing around the house. I also wore the linegere to work under my suit.

I am so greatful to halloween and her co-worker.

:eek:

thanks for the replies girls, we realy didnt expect such a quick response!

paula and Jane xxx