Getting Obsessed

Hi all, I have only been on the forum for a week or so, and already I have learned so much from you all answering my questions and reading other threads.

But I think I am going to fast, I am getting obsessed with dressing and am thinking about it all of the time. I think I need to remember what it is like to be male again/ I am so obsessed with becoming more femme I am forgetting the pleasures in being male such that when I am not dressed all I can think about is getting dressed and being femme or progressing in my femme self (shopping, practising make up, etc) or underdressing all of the time.

Any advice girls?

Thanks
Natasha

It’s a bit like eating chocolate cake for the first time. You can’t wait for the next slice!:)

It will settle down in the end to just thinking about it for about 23 hours a day Natasha.:heehee:

Hugs.

Hi Natasha,
Sorry, I dont have too much advice to give, but I can tell you that I am in the exact same boat you are and feeling very much the same way right now. Something that has helped me greatly since being here, and taken quite a heavy weight off of my mental shoulders, is finally knowing that every feeling I have ever had has been shared at least at some point in time by most of the other members here and that has taken me a long way twords accepting and loving myself for who I really am. Please if you ever need another kindred spirit to talk to feel free to PM or friend request me any time.

Huggs and Support, April

Hi Natasha,
Your email brings a smile to my face.
I have gone through the same stages as you. I would spend all day at work yearnig to go home and take of these boy clothes and let Bobbi out!
If you dont have someone to share Natasha with, then it will get boring spending hours on the transformation and your the only one to enjoy it.
Just dont be silly and take sudden risks, Get to know Natasha, and take baby steps. Have fun!
Bobbi

Excellent response April!
I love this forum.

Excitement is nice, but if you feel your male side is not getting the space it needs, then go slow. Obsessions are by nature irrational and can absorb all of our energies while real life is passing us by. By all means walk in the rain, honey, but not in the fog.

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Originally Posted by suzy1

It’s a bit like eating chocolate cake for the first time. You can’t wait for the next slice!:)

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Your not helping me one bit..... 5 decades of being a chocolate addict... Sigh


My advice is if you think your getting out of control you need to find someone like my wife.... She will put order and structure in you life whether you want it or not!! Lmao.

Its not all that surprising that we obsess a bit when we first venture into the CD life. There's so many things we want to experience. I've read that its a bit like a teenage girl - we're learning what we need to present ourselves as women. It can be incredibly exciting and liberating time.

However, I do think there's a hazard in obsessing about CDing. Some of us, myself included, have problems with obsessive-compulsive disorder. If you feel you're harming other aspects of your life - interpersonal relationships, work, etc - due to your obsession with dressing, try to take a break and focus your energies on other activities. If you can't manage that, then perhaps some professional help may be merited.

"Any advice girls?"

Yeah I could use some help too :)

I don't care if Leslie gets any new clothes, but I wish I could stop obsessing over the ones I want to get to replace his. I need to slow it down.

Thank you so much for your support girls. I really appreciate the advice from you, it is re-assuring to know I am not alone. Thank you very much.

Natasha

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

I've read that its a bit like a teenage girl - we're learning what we need to present ourselves as women. It can be incredibly exciting and liberating time.

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My wife commented on the weekend that our bedroom looked like we had a teenage daughter. :)

I'm in the same Pink fog arena at the moment, but I'm sure the more we do the less compulsive it becomes. I wouldn't overly stress unless it is causing issues at home.

Have you tried reading a good book and a hot cup of cocoa instead :devil:

Rebecca x

I hope this doesn't frighten you, but you probably need to know what to expect. In almost all cases Transgendered Individuals start at some elementary (beginners?) level on what we call "The Spectrum." It's a Spectrum of behavior's and feeling's, you can think of it as The TG Highway. Usually, we all come to some sort of Branch in The Road, maybe two or three, or a hundred times in our life. Then, you have to make decisions.

Your new at this, and so far your wanting more and more dressing, and feeling gurly. Just can't get enough of "That Feeling," right? First "Branch" usually involves either leveling-out, and accepting your crossdressing as just a sexual, fun thing to do....or, moving on to a different feeling about it all. A Feeling of contentment when dressed, a desire to experience more time and feelings of femininity for other reasons. You may want to explore a lot more aspects than just dressing, and this might involve going out in public as a woman, experimenting with hormones, seeking counseling, joining support groups, and literally dozens of other choices.

For A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF US, The Branches might continue, and eventually lead to decisions about seeking medical intervention, and going The Whole TS Route.

Now that we have probably reminded you about what you may already know or sense, you can now confront this stuff, and start dealing with accepting yourself about whatever person you might become. It's Scary at first, and a lot of Gurls don't want to acknowledge what is there. But, that's not going to make it go away or change anything else. If you spend anytime reading a few of these threads, you will see some story about somebody "purging" their clothes and other Gurley Stuff. Doesn't take long for any rational person to realize it doesn't work! But that's an extreme Form of trying to not deal with all those decisions.

You can be anywhere on The Spectrum. You can stay right where you are, you can move sideways, back, forward, or try to make it all go away. But don't count on it! We haven't found anyone who could avoid "The Branches." Can't imagine you could be The Exception. Enjoy your Life! It's not as dark as it sometimes might appear. "The Road" is unavoidable, might as well enjoy The Road Trip.

Peace and Love, Joanie

I'm still stuck on the part ''pleasures of being male''! I don't remember any! Hugs!

Your feelings are all part of the proverbial pink fog, where you are focused on only one thing, your dressing. During this phase of your development, nothing will sway you from the intense feelings that you are not doing nearly enough for your dressing. With time this will pass, and you will level off and maintain a more consistent balance..........until it hits again, and it will.......

Right now all you can do is recognize that you are out of balance. You will compensate. Enjoy the feelings you are experiencing, thay are uniquely you, and represent your true soul. Not your only focus, but the important one for the moment. I am so happy that you embrace these feelings, and do not become frightened by them. They will be with you for your entire journey. Try to not avoid your male obligations, but do not obsess about your obsession...lol, but it is now an integral part of your exsistence. It is just what we live with in our life, and I do so love it.

Barbara

I think you are referring to being in the pink fog. It will lessen at times and then you will be back in the fog again. I'm not sure what triggers it but you will probabale miss the pink fog in the future. I've been in the fog since January again and during this time there has been a day or two I'm not. At this point I luv the fog and want it to stay around if this make sense.

But I think I am going to fast, I am getting obsessed with dressing and am thinking about it all of the time. I think I need to remember what it is like to be male again/ I am so obsessed with becoming more femme I am forgetting the pleasures in being male such that when I am not dressed all I can think about is getting dressed and being femme or progressing in my femme self (shopping, practising make up, etc) or underdressing all of the time.

I know exactly how you feel. Right now I'm going through the same phase.
My urges come and go( this last time was more than a year). But this time I found this site and it's very overwhelming. I think this site will do me much good in the long run as I don't feel alone anymore. But sure it will subside soon. I have a very loving and understanding wife and I don't want to wear her out.
But for now I am just going to enjoy it.
Best of luck to you

Erin

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

... if you think your getting out of control you need to find someone like my wife.... She will put order and structure in you life whether you want it or not!! Lmao.

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That has more truth to it than I want to admit! and I am NOT LMAO!

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Originally Posted by RainyNightGirl

Hi all, I have only been on the forum for a week or so, and already I have learned so much from you all answering my questions and reading other threads.

But I think I am going to fast, I am getting obsessed with dressing and am thinking about it all of the time. I think I need to remember what it is like to be male again/ I am so obsessed with becoming more femme I am forgetting the pleasures in being male such that when I am not dressed all I can think about is getting dressed and being femme or progressing in my femme self (shopping, practising make up, etc) or underdressing all of the time.

Any advice girls?

Thanks
Natasha

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One thing that will slow you down is your bank account. If you are just starting to explore you will have many, many things you "Just have to have, right now!" The other thing is when the Pink Fog is so thick that you begin to ignore those things that are needed for survival, like going to work, paying the bills, maintaining those long term obligations to family and friends. Recognizing that you may be going too fast is the first step in finding your best levels. Take some time to do things that fit your concept of "male" activities and then think about it later. It's possible you will say to yourself that you would have rather been home in a skirt or better yet, doing what you just did in a skirt with a cute top, heels, etc. You may need to just feed your CD side for a while to see the level at which you are both comfortable and satisfied and still able to maintain your "normal" life. The problem is those may not all be at the same level. It will probably take some time. Good luck and check in often.

I have the same problem, it is all i think about. Everytime i drive by a store I think I should stop. I am not a drug addict nor i have never been. But I feel like this how they must feel. I just can't stop myself.

Oh I can relate. I go through those times of obsession myself and while difficult, it's important not to lose sight of your responsibilities. Do what you can, when you can and make time for dressing where you're able.

When I'm stuck in the fog obsessing with dressing, I tend to push the limits and add new things to the mix. After the obsessive period has passed, many of the new items added along the way become new requirements. For example, once I added a good, high quality wig to my collection, I all of the sudden 'need' to wear it to feel 'complete' when I get dolled up. I was fine dressing up without the wig for some time, and then with a crummy one (sometimes), but now I'm not fully dressed until 'The Good One' is on and looking neat. I guess in a way, those 'pink fog' visits are like girly growth spurts. The fog has a way of forcing us to push our limits, take some risks and reap the reward or consequences. My best advice is to try to learn from these episodes and to be open to new experiences always.