Need Help Suppressing It For A Little While Longer

So this might be a bit offensive to some of you or contradicting to your beliefs (which I already know all about and believe myself to be a CD without much experience) so if this offends you in any way I'm sorry.

So I've found myself to be a bit conflicted as of late. My urges have been stronger than ever and worse I know precisely what to do with the clothes and items and everything once I get them, even of how to get them. This isn't the normal daydream that I usually get anymore, now it's just a matter of should I do it or not. The thing is I'm still living with my parents and I'm going to college next year but I'm moving in two months. I meanwhile seem to be conflicted with the feeling of crossdressing.

Lately the months have gone by quickly without incidence and now I find myself on the threshold of wanting to find a makeup kit and some lingerie and have at it. The problem is that I don't have anywhere to do it. I have a tiny bedroom at my house surrounded by family members who don't give me enough time to be alone. Therefore with limited information as to where to crossdress outside of my house and no real way to transport my clothing during the move as my parents will be packing it and unpacking it without my knowing about it that means that the only thing I can do is suppress it.

So I ask you what do you do to suppress your urges when you absolutely have to?

Tough situation. I'm personally not offended by anything you've said here.

Right now, I think you're saying that it is in your own best interest not to dress for a while until your circumstances change. There is an end in sight, so I would try to focus on other things in the mean time. Play video games, hang out with friends. Get out of the house, go for a walk. If you have any hobbies, sports, etc - focus on those things. Let's call this suppression by distraction. It's a temporary fix, for a temporary situation.

I have been in this situation myself, what a joy it is I know.

Unless you have trans friends where you live now who can help, you might want to wait until you move.

You can do anything if you really want to. Sometimes it is a test of patience and will power.:)

You should try to focus on other things, sometimes the urge is crazy though & I know what you mean. I think the first reply says it all & you can always check in here if it helps you.

I'm glad to see that you're thinking so clearly about this, Emily, and trying to make wise choices. You're right that now would be a very difficult time to indulge this particular need. Fortunately you have so many other things to occupy your time and mind: last months with friends before moving, classes, preparation for graduation and moving. Enjoy the present and plan a better future where you can have a safer situation for dressing up.

Miriam

The way to keep one's mind off it is stay busy with other things. Do anything especially things require attention and thought. Hang out with friends and play games or anything else that reuires you mind to stay focused on the here and now and not a possible fantasy. Turn the urge on itself engage youreslf in a mental debate ask yourself questions about the urges. Make it academic it keeps it in the mind and takes power away from the emotional side of the urge. The hardest part I find is going to sleep when the mind needs to relax. that's usually when the thoughts flood back in. I had alot of nights of insomnia. If you have work or other things that will prevent you from sleeping in. In an emergency You could do what I did once go out buy clothes, then drive to a secluded parking lot, dress then purge the clothes. Its not glamorous but it can ease the tension.

You can still work on your body, exercise and diet as much as possible until you move and then let the fun begin. Good luck and try to stay busy xoxo

Regardless of your difficult living situation, Em, my advice to stem the dressing urge is ALWAYS to give in to it! Otherwise, there may be no distraction(s) that will get your mind off of it!

And, as far as getting your things out of the house and actually dressing? I believe Kate is rite!

what do u think of trying to get a locker somewhere and dressing up at a motel room

You are probably among the youngest on the forum (18). You have urges and you have responsibilities. Right now, in your parent's home, I'd say 'suck it up' and endure until the fall when you get to college. You're probably getting into a more potentially restrictive environment. Will you have a private single room at college? Will you live of campus? Alone? Group setting?

At college you will have a lot of pressure to perform academically. You will have goals. I believe once immersed in those activities to achieve those goals will reduce your angst about dressing. If you are going to be near a large city, you may be able to find a support group where you can express yourself.

During my lifetime I was put into situations where I could not engage in cross dressing (military service). There is going to be some degree of frustration at college. However, look at the end goal. Education means achieving the means to get a decent job and live alone and to be able to do whatever you want and to the degree you want. Establish that goal. Set your eyes on it. Work for it. There are many things in life that will take time to achieve.

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Originally Posted by Emily

...The problem is that I don't have anywhere to do it....

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Emily, you ask for help to supress your feelings, I can't help you there. But in the middle of your thread you say the problem is you have no where to do it, so I look to see where you live. Dallas!
Oh girl, Dallas has one of the largest, certianly most active CD/TG communities in the country. Last night (Saturday, May 26) there was a concert at Sue Ellen's by Chix, an all transgirl band. The place was full of girls. The Thursday before at the same bar was a girls night out with 8 girls, same thimg the monday before.
We meet several times a week, every week. The group has over 250 members. We do dinners, theaters, clubs, renaissance fares, clothing swaps, shopping trips and more.
If you decide that what you really want is not to supress, send me a PM, I'll get you in touch with our group. It's totally free, it's not a support group that sits around in a meeting room talking about it, we are a social group whose goal is simple, have fun.

Emily, absolutely nothing to take exception to in your post. It is great that you recognize what you need to to, and that is to refocus and get some other interest activated right now.

Another thing you can do, is take charge of your move. Your parents dont need to pack everything, and most certainaly not unpacking. I know how hard it is for parents to have a loved young one move out, and we feel the need to do everything. Please know that we do not get our feelings hurt when you take charge of some aspects of your life. It is really something we look forward to. Get some boxes on your own, with strapping tape, and begin to box up the stuff you dont need, and put some of your clothes in the bottom of the box. Double and triple tape the boxes, and mark personal, do not unpack of several of them. If asked, just say that they contain personal things you have written or collected from friends while growing up and you can't discuss them with a parent. Then say please. and smile.

You need to be in charge of your move, it is part of your life maturing, and you can tell them this. THey will love you even more.

Good Luck, Barbara

Emilly, your post certainly had nothing to offend, at least IMHO. I think it commendable that you are acknowledging what your feeling and are trying to face them.

I can tell you from experience when I headed to college, my mother had told me she would pack my room. At first I was okay but as the days went by, I was not. In part because I remembered I already had makeup in my room and various womens clothing. I talked to my mom and said to her, "Mom, I know and understand why you want to pack for me, one of your babies is leaving home, your first born. But Mom, I need to pack my room myself, it is important to me as I leave home to attend college. My room holds many memories for me and I'd like to cherish, respect, reflect and be alone with my emotions of leaving home by myself. Can you please just let me pack my room?" And you know, that worked. She did leave my room a lone, both when leaving home and when arriving in my new place. Try that, it may work. Otherwise, refocus on some other activities while you make you leap from home to college. Just don't suppress your emotions so much that you start feeling unhappy or depressed.

Good Luck! Were all here for ya! HUGS!

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Originally Posted by JessHaust

Emily, you ask for help to supress your feelings, I can't help you there. But in the middle of your thread you say the problem is you have no where to do it, so I look to see where you live. Dallas!
Oh girl, Dallas has one of the largest, certianly most active CD/TG communities in the country. Last night (Saturday, May 26) there was a concert at Sue Ellen's by Chix, an all transgirl band. The place was full of girls. The Thursday before at the same bar was a girls night out with 8 girls, same thimg the monday before.
We meet several times a week, every week. The group has over 250 members. We do dinners, theaters, clubs, renaissance fares, clothing swaps, shopping trips and more.
If you decide that what you really want is not to supress, send me a PM, I'll get you in touch with our group. It's totally free, it's not a support group that sits around in a meeting room talking about it, we are a social group whose goal is simple, have fun.

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As much as I would like getting to Dallas all dressed up, there's just too many variables involved. For one, my school year is ending so for the most part I'll be at home so I won't have a reason to come to Dallas, so transportation might be a bit of a problem. Another thing might be getting the clothing. I mean I have experience and I have instructions on what to do once I have them, but I don't have it with me. Then there's always the fear of getting caught, and then there's the amount of time from when I was gone. Things are just too complicated for my dressing.

Emily look, doing things you want to do seems like an eternity away right now. I am guessing you are still young enough to need that fake or borrowed ID to get into clubs or whatever.

There comes a day sooner than you think where you will have almost unrestrained freedom to live as you see fit.
Just don't do anything to ruin your own freedom such as getting some girl pregnant or getting married. Too many kids, like myself at one time, make life changing choices and have to put freedom on hold for years to come.

I don't know what to say about circumventing the desire to dress cause honestly, I live full time as a woman and I never get the "urge" to dress, in fact as I have to do so each day to uphold my image, on my days off I am glad i DON'T have to do it.

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Originally Posted by Nicole Erin

I am guessing you are still young enough to need that fake or borrowed ID to get into clubs or whatever.

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I suppose you're right, but just out of curiosity what is the minimum age for getting into clubs?

Emily,

My advice is very straightforward... focus on college and get the most out of that experience. It will help you sort out who you are. I have had periods (years often) when I put this on hold... just keep it in your head. Think 'chameleon'... just change your outside appearance to fit your surroundings - inside you are you. There are so many rich things in life to experience and enjoy... don't let this stop you in any way... Go and have fun as a young man in college... you may even enjoy it! But... I can assure you that if you are CD, it will return when the time is right! And stay on the forum and tell us about your experiences!

Hello Emily

I have the same urges too. What I do sometimes is sit back and reflect on my life, the goods and bads and the ups and downs. Then I wonder whats ahead. I sorry this doesnt make any sense but try it some time.

Thera