ONE
A fact commonly remarked upon on this forum (and almost as often lamented) is that GG’s have to a great extent abandoned wearing skirts and dresses. The reason for this is obvious: they wanted to express their masculine side. This desire about a century ago was called “Penis Envy”, but that’s a very ugly name for a very laudable ambition on the part of women. After all, as we all know, the notion that there is a clear divide between the sexes in their psychologies, outlooks, behaviour and urges is false. Instead, any individual is a blend of traits that are arbitrarily and wrongly assigned to the male or female.
So why shouldn’t women want to become more manly? After all, it was a man’s world, wasn’t it? By wearing male clothing, by taking jobs formerly held by men, women were allowed to express their deep-seated manly urges that for so many centuries they had been required by a patriarchal society to repress. Furthermore, women were now allowed to develop manly virtues that had for so long been absent in them—virtues such as logical thinking, courage, fortitude, honesty and loyalty. It’s one thing I’ve noticed over the course of my lifetime: women are noticeably less emotional, fickle and petty than they were in my youth.
This transformation of society has obviously been beneficial for all of us. What man wouldn’t want a wife, who by exploring her masculine side, has become a more rational, mature and responsible human being? And who can express the blessed relief it has clearly been for women themselves? When a woman goes out to work as a doctor, lawyer, high-powered executive or construction foreperson, she finds the contentment that comes with the development of her masculinity at the expense of her often deplorable feminine characteristics. So let’s hear it for trousers! The sooner women abandon skirts and dresses altogether, the better!
TWO
A wish frequently expressed on this forum is that somehow GM’s could be persuaded to wear more feminine clothing, as that would make our situation as CD/TG people easier, since society would become more accepting of us. The benefit of cisgender men adopting feminine clothing is obvious: by making them feel more feminine, it would encourage them to explore their feminine side. The merits of this procedure are undoubted, given that, as we all know, the notion that there is a clear divide between the sexes in their psychologies, outlooks, behaviour and urges is false. Instead, any individual is a blend of traits that are arbitrarily and wrongly assigned to the male or female.
So why shouldn’t a man want to become more womanly? We all know that many men do, that they long to express the softer, gentler side of their personality that a macho society has long forced them to repress. Furthermore, it would allow them to develop feminine virtues that have so long been absent in them—virtues such as kindness, compassion, caring and nurturing. It’s one thing that I’ve noticed over the course of my lifetime: those men who have been in a position to explore their feminine side have become noticeably less immature, insensitive, brutish, aggressive and violent than they were in my youth.
Such a transformation of society would obviously be beneficial for all of us. What woman wouldn’t want a husband who by exploring his feminine side, has become a more sensitive, feeling, caring human being? When a man goes out to work as a nurse, child minder, receptionist or social worker, he can find the contentment that comes with the development of his femininity at the expense of his often deplorable masculine characteristics. So let’s hear it for dresses! The sooner we get men wearing them, the better!
So there you have it, Folks, the Old One-Two. Would anybody these days agree with One? I’m a bit doubtful about that. It’s not even sexist, not even insulting, not even patronizing, not even Neanderthal. It’s way beyond any of that. Maybe we should call it “Primeval” with the accent on “eval”.
Why then does Two make so much sense to us? Why has all of that stuff become commonly-accepted wisdom? Why is it that a woman’s “penis envy” is rightly regarded as antiquated, sexist rubbish, whereas a man’s “feminine side” is regarded as so obviously true as not even to warrant discussion?
I sometimes get the impression that there’s a bit of confusion as to what exactly transgenderism and cisgenderism are. It’s like this: cis-guys are different from us. We have a feminine side. They don’t. That’s what makes us Transgender and them Cisgender.
A cisgender guy doesn’t have a feminine side, doesn’t need a feminine side, doesn’t want a feminine side. Not that there’s anything wrong with being feminine. He just happens to be masculine. He doesn’t want to be feminine any more than a cisgender woman wants to be masculine. He might need to be a better human being, but that doesn’t mean he needs to be more feminine. There are many women who could be better human beings, but that doesn’t mean they need to be more masculine.
So when somebody moots the idea that some day men’s clothing might become more feminine, I remain sceptical. Why would a cis-guy want to look feminine? He doesn’t have a feminine side he needs to explore, nor feminine feelings that he needs to express. That’s our department. That’s what makes us “girls”. And that’s what makes us so baffling to cis-people. How, with our physical configuration, can we have the feelings we do? Cis-people find it virtually impossible to understand our feelings because they don’t have them themselves.
(And maybe the reverse is also true. I wonder what it’s like to be able to look at a gorgeous dress without feeling a deep longing to put it on. Cis-guys are weird, aren’t they?)
Yes, it would be nice if cis-guys were more like us, because then we wouldn’t be so all alone, we wouldn’t have to feel so afraid. But they’re not like us, and wishful thinking won’t make them so. We’re a tiny minority, a mysterious minority in the midst of an uncomprehending cis-world. So our strategy shouldn’t be to try to convince them that they’re more like us than they think, because they’re never going to believe that. It should be to convince them that we’re not nearly as bad as they think and that it really is OK for people to wear what they like, what expresses their inner nature. They might some day believe that. What we need is for cis-guys to become more open-minded, not more feminine.
Best wishes, Annabelle
