Something I have not read about yet

Hi all! Hope you're having a wonderful day.

Anyways, I have not read about this in this forum so I wanted to bring the topic up and hear what you all have to say. Well, I'm 23 and not a very experienced. However, I do have a slim type body so some girly simple clothes make me look really passable and I love it. However, I feel my body is now changing from that of an adolescent to that of a man and also as a guy I find it really healthy for my life to go to the gym.

Now here's the great dilemma. As my upper body gets bigger and broader I like it (since I'm getting manlier, chicks dig that, plus gives me confidence as a guy), however, it makes me feel sad that I'm losing the little femininity I have left. If I ultimately would have to choose what gender I want to be I would choose male, I know for a fact that I'm male, but I can't deny the fact that part of me wants to go on a rigorous diet and lose all possible fat that I can lose (I even think I can pull curves if I do that :)).

I know that as I'll gain more experience I'll learn to hide my male attributes better. But right now the body that I have allows me enjoy myself without putting much effort into it and I'm having trouble pushing my male improvements forward.

I would love to hear what the people here have to say about this. I'm sure this happens to many of us. How did you cope with yourself to make a decision or perhaps there is a balance in all of this or a way to make it all work.

your dilemma is something that we all I think go through. some how we still have to live the fantasy or whatever you want to call it of wanting to be a real girl or at least look like one it does not matter if we are fat,skinny, toll, short, there a force that makes want to be that pretty girl.

The actual balance you speak of Hon is between mind, body and spirit. It takes a lot of time and work to get there, no easy achievement. Some folks, in fact, never get to that point. The first step is getting in touch with yourself and your feelings, taking responsibility for your own actions, and being true to yourself. No easy row to hoe for sure but perseverance pays large dividends in the end (or should I say the beginning of real life). Then you can indeed be anyone you choose to be.:)

An idea of an upper body corset...... Shoulder binding just popped into my head. Lol. Its a curse being an engineer!

Wanting to feel feminine is in your head and your soul, however you look. If you're looking to match your feelings with your appearance, you can go the the gym, but not bulk up too much. Find the exercises that will tighten you up, without adding too much muscle. Like working the stair-master or treadmill, lighter weights but with more reps.

Having been a gym rat for much of my life I have some experience in this area. My advice is to stick with lower weight, higher reps on your chest and arm exercises. This will give you good definition and reduce the bulking associated with heavy weights and low reps.

If you bulk up you may lose or reduce your ability to defend yourself in a physical confrontation and most of the guys I have seen who are large go to fat fairly quickly
as they age.

You may also place a strain on your over all health reducing your life span and inviting disease later in life.

You also may want to re-think attracting women who are primarily interested in a muscle bound male.

Stay slender, hit hard, live long and play with gender to your hearts content.

I was always a 98 lb weakling and worried about pulling chicks.
That all changed when a couple suggested I go to a party dressed as a girl.
It was an extremely successful exercise and I had the company of a lot of girls after that.:)

Hi,

Never ever thought about most of what you said, oh well comes with being different, iv been 11 stone = 154 lbs pretty much most of my life since i was working active fit on building sites so had to be, no over eating did gym running & played sports, did 300 miles & over a week on my bike so i was fit.

im now allmost 65. same weight with in 5 lbs, ether way, not a masculine figger more in line as a woman should be for a woman at age 35 to 40 clothes sit & fit right,yes hips , im happy with my body from that side of things ,

At 23 i was hard out working yet not looking like a male.body wise, i was working on bridges & climbing down & up on the centre bridge surports 1 / 4 of an hour each way, 7 sec drop from the top. hand over hand. so strength & fit, yet agile . railways n z .

My hormones gave me what i needed, yet did not take away what i needed as a woman. im one of those whose hormones worked well for me & long term,

...noeleena...

I agree with Kim; stick with high reps and low resistance to maintain muscle tone and avoid low reps with high resistance. Muscle mass by body builders are a result of tearing muscle fibers and scar tissue appearing as a way of repairing the muscle. High levels of testesterone also contribute to your changing physique along with, of course, how well you picked your parents; genetics are a strong indicator of how you will end up.

There are millions of women who look like they could be men but if they think that they are feminine; that is what counts. When I dress as Annie and I think that I am a woman, I am confident and accepted.

Talk to Jocelyn here, she's gorgeous and pretty muscular as well. As an aside- i dated gymnast before i met my wife- lots of fun- she was VERY strong, even though she was not that muscular looking.

You can do different things at the gym- if you do standard 12-10-8 repetition sets- you are going build muscle and bone mass. It's not a bad thing, but it definately makes you look less 'petite' when crossdressed. Consider doing sets with many more reps- think of it as aerobics for other muscles- besides legs- you will build more slender muscles- they will have incredible stamina- instead of 12-10-8 reps, stay with lower weights, increase to 30-25-20 maybe, and go UP from there- on the back extension and crunch machines i well over 100 at a time- and as your muscles get used to it- the weights can increase without too much increase in size- just remember that if you push it like the testosterone drive in you tells you to do- you will fall into the area of buildign a lot of muscle- you have to think in terms of stamina- not mass.

For instance- if you normally do 12 reps at 180, 10 at 200, and 8 at 220 to build your muscle- drop to 90 pounds, and see how many it takes until your muscles are shaking- probablay 50-100. take a longer rest inbetween, then go do 100 pounds. by the end, you'll have close to 200 reps in, and have not strained you joints much- no need to build more tissue- but you will be training you muscles to work for longer periods (women typically are thought of as have more stamina in certain areas than men). They will tone up better- and this generally means losing a little bit of mass at first as you burn of the fat reserves incorporated.

To gain strength with building too much muscle- you'll need to make more nerve activation, and carefully build you tendons and ligamants to take the strain- over a period of months- you'll want professional guidance at that point if you choose to go that far.

personally, i went about half and half- i built more upper body, but not as much as would have been easy, I wanted to be able to fit in a size 14 (maybe a 16 in certain brands).

That, and get into running. if you run regularly, you WILL stay trim. I don't run much anymore- i want to get back into it- but i do cycle a lot- and that is conducive to much longer periods of exercise- I typically include a 4 hour ride once a week into my routine- Lots of fun- and a helk of a feeling knowing you just covered over 100 kilometers (62 miles), especially while wearing girls' shorts, shoes, socks, gloves, helmet, etc... :-) Granted they are rather 'unisex' in color/design,it still makes me look forward to exercising more than if not.

-Kristi

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

Having been a gym rat for much of my life I have some experience in this area. My advice is to stick with lower weight, higher reps on your chest and arm exercises. This will give you good definition and reduce the bulking associated with heavy weights and low reps.

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re: lower weights & higher reps:
d'accord!
Kristi

To me, this is easy. You are a guy. You play at being a girl. Play is not real life. Live your real life, and enjoy your play-time on the side.

I am 25. I consider myself to have a fairly athletic body type. Being a man doesn't necessarily mean you have to have big muscles to look good. When working out do less weight but more reps. Work on a lot of core body stuff and run. You will have toned muscles without the huge bulk up. A gg will definitely like to see you with toned 4 or 6 pack abs compared to a 240 pound man with a beer belly. Your body will look good in a bikini and a mans bathing suit.

We slowly change physically as we age, and a lot of it just has to be accepted. I've had the struggle of wanting both a male physique and a female's. As it turned out, I've never been real muscular, though I may appear to be. If you truly want a fem body, you may want to consider hormone therapy, surgery, etc. Anyway, just work with what you have and accept what you cannot change.

Stepping back a moment to get a broader view, it seems to me you are in a wonderful situation. You are in touch with your body and you are in touch with your gender expression. You've started to talk about a "style" for your feminine self, so as you focus more and more on the style that you want, since you are in touch with your body, you can then determine how to "sculpt" your body to what suits you.

The body does change as we age, but after this change that you are going through the rest of the changes will be slow. Even this change can be managed once you decide what your femme self will be!

Enjoy it all!

I used to work out regularly and still do some! I do exercises that tone and do aerobic, but I do not look for exercises that add bulk. If you look at a lot of fit women today they can be toned and even muscular and I think they look fabulous just check out the olympics those women in track,swimming soccer gymnastics etc are gorgeous to look at of course I like there uniforms too! I think maintaining the body keeps your waist slim and as long as your not bulky you can look great in a dress! Just my opinion.

You are at the point where you have to make a decision. Do I want to want to look big and muscular like a guy or do I want to look smallish and feminine like a girl? If you want big and muscular hit the weightroom and go for it. If you want to look feminine hit the weightroom to tone only and do arobics for fitness. Only you can make that decision. I know what my choice would be.

Wow, thank you all for the responses. I cannot believe the amount of support I receive here. I valued a lot all the knowledge, experience and point of views you all shared. After thinking about the issue myself and reading what you all had said I've realized that I fooled myself into thinking that a guy must be bulky in order to be considered attractive. I know now that this is not the case and that I don't have to be bulky in order to be happy with myself. So I will be going down the road of more reps and less weight and will be running or cycling a lot more now. Fit, agile, healthy and great on a dress :)

now you got it...i just lost 50 lbs over the last year and being the dork i am, i had no idea what to do along the way...then a trainer made it easy to understand...tone up..don't muscle up..eat right and make the treadmill a friend...low weight and high reps and fast walk...mix it up and be thankful your young...enjoy the mind body thing babe!!

Honey,

Do not go to the gym. Do yoga and aerobic stuff. Yoga is very intense and will help you with out changing the lines of your body. The muscle is very difficult to take off, and easy to live without, your clothes will fit you much better(yes girl clothes silly).
If you want to be a pretty girl be careful here. I applaud you for having the presence of mind to be aware of your actions.

Girls will still like you. Many do not like buff guys and want tall and slim and handsome, with a great job of course....

Again, I would not lift weights. I am in the entertainment business and see that people are far more versatile as performers when they are slim and not bulky. Look at the best actors. Chicks dig them, no.

♥
Noemi

ohhh my dear you are soooo where I was at your age. Except I had a wife who liked the girly side of me almost more that the guy side. At 20 I was 6' and 140+- pounds...wet. If I put on anything "girly" I positively looked like the tall girl next door. Add some makeup, style the hair (which she liked touching the shoulder blades) and I completed the picture...my wife used to say the HOT girl next door. To be honest, we did more things together as two girls (Lesbian couple) than as husband and wife.
The main thing I'm saying is don't think that the perfect girl is hiding at the gym exit. She may be hiding at VS waiting for you to come in....

Jenn

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Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

An idea of an upper body corset...... Shoulder binding just popped into my head. Lol. Its a curse being an engineer!

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Karren:
Your new picture looks very close to that co-host on NBC Hoda Coffey. Maybe you should be on TV,
It just might pay better.
Rader