How far along are you?

*before we start NO I am NOT pregnant*

This has been an interesting weekend. My life had settled into a routine so no need to get into "I went out last night" stuff (there have been plenty of posts on that already.)

But twice this weekend I have been asked about my transition (I haven't). Now asking if I have ever wanted to transition is common. Many people I meet still believe that when one dresses like I do, that the natural end point is to be a woman. While this would have been what I would have done if things had been different years ago, it really isn't a likely thing now (never say never, money and other things could persuade me to have SRS, but it would be extraordinary).

The first time this weekend I was sitting at my normal haunt for a Friday night. I will say it was a dark and stormy night because we finally have rain (as evidenced by my wet floor in the basement again). Thus almost everyone was inside and not on the two patios. After talking to a "sister" for an hour I finally found a seat. The "Black Crown" is a piano bar here in Denver that is associated with an antiques store so all the furnishings are for sale and it looks like someone's house (not mine, mine is decorated in Early Poor and is never that clean). I sat in the very nice wing-back chair and listened to the jazz combo. I sort of felt bad because of course he place is laid out for people to have conversations and while I sat in one chair, the one opposite me remained open, until a man sat down. He asked if I minded and I said not at all. This happens frequently to me as I go out alone often. It is a great way to meet people if you want to and to not if you don't. Early in the conversation he leaned in and asked "Are you transitioning or have you finished?"

This to me was a high compliment. It meant that I presented as feminine as I could expect to (even though he obviously knew I was male). I "passed" as a TS! That is the almost pinnacle for a TG, I think. As I have explained many times there are just too many "tells" to ever allow me to ever be mistaken for a GG. I explained my situation, including the "I am too old" part where he (as many of my sweet friends here have done) said. "No, you aren't. You should do what you feel is right." I was flattered (twice now) by this nice man (he also gave me a truffle...Banana creme...:daydreaming:. I like being a girl :heehee:) It wasn't a hit on me. The man had no designs on me at all. We talked another half hour or so about many things. It was nice.

Then last night, different bar (and my dance lessons are coming along fine thank you very much, I don't fall down any more). A woman asked how far along I was in my transition. I told her I wasn't and she said I really should think about it as she thought I would do well. Again, I took this as a compliment. Someone actually thought I could do it and "pass" as they say. Bad me though because my first thought was "Would you date me?" because she was a lesbian. Sorry, there are things you just can't unlearn overnight :) (but maybe if I had the right equipment and she WAS cute and....nah)

Maybe it is the increase in confidence as I go along? Every time I go out I am less shy, more relaxed. Does this translate into the look? Or is it that when a TS goes 24/7 and starts believing in themselves, they send out a vibe (I am not 24/7 as such) that people who are in the "family" (the man was gay the woman was lesbian so they have inside info in my opinion) pick up. Gaydar for TS's? I wasn't mistaken for a woman, that has only happened from long distances, but I must present as a passable TS. Life is good. (well except today I get to wet vac the floor and I already cleared the gutters and I have to move furniture...I thought I was a Princess who should have someone that does all that FOR me!)

Perfect.

What a wonderful slice of your (real) life. I love the "family" reference, and I love the fact that your recounting didn't include a single detail about what you were wearing. The highest compliment I can pay you is that you my dear are the "real deal", whatever that is, (and you well know that I have my suspicions), but you are nothing if not authentic and I'm proud that people like you are part of the family.

Lorileah, Sounds like you are completely comfortable with who and what you are. Good for you, most of us (I think) are still trying to figure that out for ourselves. Sounds like a great weekend, hope you have many more.

Hugs
Jolene

I'm about "7 months" Hon. :heehee: I actually made a form to that effect when I went through that phase without intending to disrespect anyone. I do think that many of us here have mentally transitioned even if we have not done the physical follow up. For whatever reasons we may have, it's not pragmatic for us at this time. Even so, we project a certain air about us in that many see us as a woman or near woman. I think they may pick up on our confidence in being happy to be who we are. Many of us have gone past the point of squeamishness and go out as ourselves and enjoy it. For myself, I find I love interfacing and talking with people.
I've been pleasantly surprised many times as you have. Life is good and it works for me Lori.:)

Congrats! A very enjoyable read.

You look beautiful.

Part of that is likely the "vibe" you mentioned. You do seem to be very comfortable in who you are and that goes a long way to passing or blending or whatever. I think that a very good looking person (could be a girl, boy, TG or anyone) who was not comfortable in who they are, for any reason, would be less attractive than a less physically attractive person, or perhaps someone with "tells", who felt very secure and comfortable with themselves.

Your vibe says that this is me and I like me. Other people like that. The more "normal" you feel and behave the more "normal" others will see you most of the time. And by normal I mean - normal to you not the predefined bulls**t that others think you should be.

I'm no expert but I do think you are beautiful - if you are ever up my way I'll buy you lunch.

Lori, wow girl love your story, and when i was in Denver back in January,i visit the Black Crown they do treat us ladies very nice, love the layout, I can see why everyone ask you your so pretty and would think your am a woman now. Myself if are talking i would still be my first tri-, i don't know if i will everget out that level, i feel that i am more than just a CD, i say CD-TG, but if i was younger i would have love to trans, i did not know about such these in my early 20's. I knew i want to be a girl and that was it. I feel so luck to meet so many girls here. Lori enjoy all the coments you get girl,you earn them!

Well Lorileah I give you lots of credit for being out there and mingling. I think you have the look! I would take the comments as compliments too, remember none of us truly pass. Start buying lottery tickets if you're not already.:)

It sounds like you're really start to enjoy life to its fullest Sis. I think that also translates into a more confident you when you are out and that translates into a very passable look which is why so many are asking you if you have started your transition. If you present with confidence, and walk with confidence, and dress in a way that fits your persona, things like that WILL happen. Keep going girl and continue to enjoy the compliments. :)

As I have read your recollection I couldn't but feel certain clarity about this story. It is a wonderful and happy account of you connecting with others and surely result of your confidence and perhaps something even deeper yet. As I have read on, the words of these wonderful strangers sounded to me, not as coincidental remark, not as mere observation but a message in between the lines from someone who truly cares for you and wants you to know, maybe, just maybe, it truly is never too late, and maybe you are hearing your self say "perhaps I am ready"

Sorry, I tend to get spiritual too often, can't help it, but this is what I got out of this story, I might be wrong.........................but then................It could be true :)

All my love

Lori, great post. I am so glad for you. Things seem to be 'flowing', wherever the journey is actually going.

I am 59 YEARS, 10 MONTHS AND 309 DAYS into my transition. Another 20 years or so until its completed.

OMG! Sorta off topic but the post title made me start laughing like uncontrollably. One day about two years back in a Walmart, many lbs heavier around the middle, I was like checking out and the female sales clerk asked "Can I ask you a personal question?" I figured well....here's another chance to further explain the world of TG/TS. I said, sure go ahead as this has happened on other occasions past and I'll answer any reasonable question. She asked "How far along are you?" I liked to die and so totally started laughing & explained it was just fat. She started to apologize profusely and I told her no big deal or wutever and we both had like a good laugh as a couple of girls. I went out of there feeling pretty good really 'cuz a guy wouldn't have had that conversation, so I guess I "passed"......as a pregnant female LMAO. Hey I'll like even take the left handed compliments. Lost a fair amount of weight shortly after, but it's like so slowly creeping back over the years. .

Lorileah i enjoyed your story very well done and it sounds like a great weekend for you. sorry to hear that the real part of life had to end it all (wet basement) bin there done that Hugs Ronda

I would say with the confidence, demeanour and appearance I would probably ask you the same question.
If circumstances change and you do I wish you the best.