For MTF's with accepting or at least tolerant SO's

It gets kinda depressing seeing marriage breakups and so much stress caused by CD/TG/TS partners. Obviously it's not our fault we do what we do.

I'm one of the lucky ones being TS but no plans for SRS which would be a deal breaker for us. Boundaries here are no dressing in our own town and keeping my TS status private. She shops with me, goes out with me and is fine with it so far.

So.. if your SO accepts or at least tolerates (DADT too) you dressing please post and let us know what is and isn't acceptable.Thanks!
GG's and SO's are welcome to post too.:)

My wife saw a purchase for some lingerie on my credit card bill and thought I was haveing an affair. So she started to snoop around and she found my stash. We had the long talk, she said she was relieved it was not an affair. It took some time the usual ups and downs but things settled down and we are having fun with it. Boundaries, don't let the neighbors find out or our son or anyone we know. These boundaries are softening, I think she is starting to understand that this is who I am.

Getting my ears pierced :(

Not telling my son (22) who still lives with us, daughter of 25 already knows having found a picture of me in PC aged 13

Making sure neighbours and fiends do not find out.

Keep my leg shaving only over winter period (September to April)

Acceptable, all forms of female clothing, including breast forms. My two favorite bras, she picked out for me. We have clothes shopped together and we have also bought shoes together. Wigs and make up are ok, it doesn't matter if I am going for the "school girl" look, or the "business woman" look. As she says, "everyone has the right to have some fun". She gets involved in various ways, whether that be role playing, or asking me to dress a certain way. On this past weekend she suggested that we get a mani/pedi together, I said that I would want the whole nine yards, she said what color would you want your toes to be, hope it would not be too bright. I said, "how about a soft pink, or purple", she said, "how about black to match your personality".

The only boundary is that this is all done within the home setting. Clear nail polish on the hands only! She wants to be the only one to know about my habits. Yes she does know about this forum, and it is fine with her, she know of my girl name, but doesn't use it.

This has been a process that has taken many years to get to this point. Love conquers all, and with a little patience anything can happen.

PS. Keeping the body shaved, I had better have a really good excuse if anyone asks. It is easier to grow the leg hair out to a well trimmed point during the summer. It is amasing how short trimmed arm and leg hair is just enough to not draw comments, or maybe no one cares.

My wife had one rule "Don't embarrass me".

My GF didn't really have any rules but we had an understanding that I would be as classy as possible when we were together (so as to be the same class as she was)

I wish more of my dear friends had more acceptance, it could be so much fun dressing together and or shopping.But it begs to question their claim of love if the superficial wrapping paper of dresses and make up is a big deal

My wife fully accepts. She does not have any required boundaries - just about anything is OK with her. I do try to address her needs and to communicate as best I can.

I have a fully supportive wife. She hasn't really set any boundries. There are several things she doesn't like, such as breast forms. I just wear a size adding pushup Wonderbra....it's more comfortable anyway.

I make sure I am the man she married at least 90% of the time.

I have also told her that I will never embarrass her.

She knew Sami well before we married.

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Originally Posted by Marleena

...Obviously it's not our fault we do what we do...

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I disagree. Although the word "fault" isn't the most positive word, I take full responsibility regarding what clothes I put on and when. I am not a victim of my gender expression.

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I'm one of the lucky ones being TS but no plans for SRS which would be a deal breaker for us. Boundaries here are no dressing in our own town and keeping my TS status private. She shops with me, goes out with me and is fine with it so far.

So.. if your SO accepts or at least tolerates (DADT too) you dressing please post and let us know what is and isn't acceptable....

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In our household we have agreed that everything is acceptable that is a healthy, sensible form of gender expression. What doesn't fly is neglecting to take responsibility for what I do (see above). We do have a 7 year old in the house and we have agreed to not expose her to my femme side until we both feel she is ready for that, whenever that may be. It doesn't matter if she's 8 or 18.

My wife and I pretty much do everything together as we are virtually attached at the hip. Soul mates. Sometimes we do all the things we do as husband/wife, and other times as girlfriends so to speak. It's all pretty fluid at this point, without a lot of negotiation really. We very much enjoy and treasure one another.

She understands that taking issue with healthy forms of gender expression, no matter how you spin it, is still non-acceptance, and non-acceptance is rejection. We both came into this relationship having put EVERYTHING on the table prior to merging households and getting married. Looking back, we see that approach was indeed wise because we don't have to hide anything. That's the ultimate in relationship freedom...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Marleena

It gets kinda depressing seeing marriage breakups and so much stress caused by CD/TG/TS partners. Obviously it's not our fault we do what we do.

I'm one of the lucky ones being TS but no plans for SRS which would be a deal breaker for us. Boundaries here are no dressing in our own town and keeping my TS status private. She shops with me, goes out with me and is fine with it so far.

So.. if your SO accepts or at least tolerates (DADT too) you dressing please post and let us know what is and isn't acceptable.
Thanks!

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Don't know what good it will do, as everyone has different takes on this....

In my case, GF knows, and is fully accepting. I wear a skirt and stockings around her place. Haven't tried to dress, not sure i want to, but will probably explore that, with her help. We may go halloween shopping tomorrow, and see what we find. As an experiment, I came to bed wearing stockings, ( stay ups ) the other night, didn't do a whole lot for me, partly because they are a bit thermal, and it was too hot. I'm on the look out for a garter belt, and decent stockings I can wear, not sure if I'll enjoy them, but I've always liked the look. I think she is quite keen for me to actually come out, and has said she has no issue with me wearing a skirt at work, ( we work together ) I believe i can do that without hassle from senior staff, but not sure how to ask...She won't push me, but is giving little encouraging signs, at least, that's how I intepret it. We did go for a walk around the local neighborhood the other night. ( around her place, I'm not quite brave enough to do it around my own ) Only saw a couple of police officers, but they displayed no interest as they went off to interview someone else.

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Originally Posted by Lorileah

My wife had one rule "Don't embarrass me".

My GF didn't really have any rules but we had an understanding that I would be as classy as possible when we were together (so as to be the same class as she was)

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Thats for sure ,,, No Embarressments at all ,,, Hell I don't blame her one bit ,,, Who would want that ? Try an keep it on the down low like ya got some sense ? Most of the Time ,,,But hell look who your dealing with ,,,LOL,,,,

Boundaries are pretty easy: Tina is private with us and when she wants her man she gets him. Those two do have ramifications, but it all comes back to those two which makes it all pretty easy and rather simple! As with all things in our marriage, our consideration for our mate is paramount, and nothing we would consider a "rule".

We have unstated boundaries. Since she has not screamed or yelled for a number of years I am assuming I have not broken any of the unstated boundaries. With DADT you really do not know if you stepped in a pile until it's too late. I am assuming she would not want me to let others know, intentionally or unintentionally. I have ventured out for evening strolls and drives when she has been out of town. I am assuming she would frown on those activities, if she knew. Twenty-five to thirty years ago she actually told me to join a support group, if I chose. I called a group but found the telephone conversation to be immature and childish. My irritation about crossing by a straight faithful male is the number of women who will kick the guy to the curb although they have been married for decades. And, frankly, and, I do not intend or care if I ruffle feathers, this perpetual argument about deceit and lying is a bunch of crap.

My girlfriend is the one that put 2 and 2 together and noticed something was missing. Let me explain. First of all it took a while before i told her i dressed. But she guessed that much she told me, why else would there be womens clothing in a divorced man's closet? Even then it took a few months before i did it infront of her, actually, she was the one that told me to show her. So i did. Back then there was no make up involved. And she was the one that told me she wanted to fix me up right at least once. So i let her do it. And a whole new world opened up for me. She's the one that named me Myrdin, sexiest thing she ever did imo. All she set as a boundry is that she still wants the man she met every now and then, wich is fine for me, its not like i'm unhappy being a guy.

I am saving the longer story to tell later, but as of about 6 months ago, Meghan is 100% out to my wife.

She put absolutely no boundaries on what I do. I can dress and wear what I want, whenever I want. Moreover, she loves Meghan for what she is doing for all of us. My wife is extremely open-minded, fair and I trust her to never ever hold my femininity against me.

My boundaries are currently self-imposed. I don't openly dress in front of the kids or in the business world, although I do see that coming sometime soon (work). I do wear trouser socks when I do have to dress up for work, and of course panties every day. I sleep in a nighty or a soft shirt when kids aren't home, and a soft shirts when they are here.

The kids are almost grown so I expect I will be coming out to them at some point in the fairly near future. After that point, I doubt I will go back to male mode very often if at all. I am pretty sure they won't be surprised. No adult in my life has yet!

The most important thing I can convey is this: Without the help, support, love and care from my wife, I (Meghan) would have never seen the light of day.

Meghan

This is what I was hoping to see. Please keep 'em coming. It will give others proof that being an MTF is not always the end of a relationship.:)

My GF is perfectly fine with my femme self as she knows who I am.She also knows I have no plans to transition and is looking forward to going to the club dancing with me this Friday. She will get a "treat" as it is TG/CD themed weekend this week. She is relatively new to this kind of exposure but she values others for who they are as people. Works for me Marleena.:battingeyelashes::)

I am not exactly the "average" TG, I don't shave, i wear a mustache, and use no makeup. I wear panties 24/7, can regularly be found in a camisole and skirt and paint my toenails go-to-hell-red. I dress this way in public and around the house. My wife buys me skirts and other women's clothing, as well as earrings and bracelets. She does protest when I get a bit too "swishy", as she calls it, and says she wants a man for her partner, not a woman. She told me she will ask me to be a man when she needs that. Recently, she also asked hat I draw the line on shoes and not wear specifically women's (I wear unisex clogs with no issue), I believe she would balk at a pair of maryjanes. The other limits would be wearing makeup, forms, and shaving my body hair. It is a delicate dance, not always easy. I do wish we could be girlfriends from time to time, but she has pretty much ruled that out.

My wife is finally ok with me going out into public. It wasn't always that way but after a little more than a year she has relaxed on the whole thing.

Rule #1 Not to out myself to the world as it will out her and she is not ready for that.

Rule #2 Don't dress more than 40% of our time together as a woman.

Rule #3 Watch the amount of money I spend on my hobby, as she calls it.

Launa

My wife is quite accepting of this part of me. As for what "isn't" acceptable? All the things that I also think to be unacceptable. Makes for an easy time at home.

My girlfriend is 100% supportive, she finds Willow a lot of fun and really bubblely. She hasn't put up any rules or boundries, I've put up a few though. Its very nice that she supports me being trans and dressing. I love her sooooo much <3 :)

My wife has one demand, keep loving her. Everything else is perfectly fine. But I still do things for her. There are times that are probably better for him to be there even though she says she is okay with Sue. Our recent anniversary was a good example. Also, she loves to be in on the discussions when I tell someone about me, so I try and make those happen with her around. The support during those talks is tremendous, so it works out better anyway.

My Dear Sweet Wife is accepting as she can be. I can dress at home while she is around, provided, no wig, no make up other than light shades of lipstick, C size breast forms or smaller, and no dresses or skirts with out letting her know ahead of time. I can go out, but no where near our town. We shop together, for each other, me in drab. She has meet with other CDs (in drab) and their wives. She has gone to SO nights out, with the other wives. I can not and will never complain, she was not fully aware of my condition, before we had been married more than 25 years.

My wife accepts and supports my effeminate habits with only one specific rule, which applies to both of us and is something we agreed to a long time ago.

Don't let the baby know- unless we've discussed and decided that is what we are going to do (and have agreed upon how we are going to do it). The baby is now three.

My wife is .... different .... but then again, maybe not so different to some wives either. She has known about me from the beginning as we met on a CD forum (not this one). She is currently our TG support group's Vice President and is very active in our group. She's a huge trans ally and supporter and has TS friends as well as CD friends.

As far as her husband goes (although she never refers to me as the "H word" when I am dressed she always introduces me as her "spouse, Rachel") well ... I kind of don't really have any boundaries. Ok maybe one ... no transitioning! .. but that's totally ok as I identify as part-time CDer and so dressing just a few times a month is more than enough for me. I'm out to her side of the family as they live closer.

My wife is hugely supportive, encouraging and almost always participates in my dressing as we nearly always go out and socialize together as "two girls" either just the two of us on our own, or in smaller groups with other "crossdressing couples" and of course, we're out together at our TG support group's events too.

The other thing is, both her and I like to also go out together (just the two of us) doing "husband and wife things" too (movies, restaurants, a walk in the park etc) and my clothes are either unisex or only slightly girly when we do husband and wife socializing. It's a match made in heaven and I realize I am very lucky indeed to have her in my life.