Do you have an ally?

Does anyone have an ally and would you say they are different from friends? I read a post by Helen Boyd on enGender where she makes a passing reference to "being an ally". This was not the topic of the article but it lead me to think that an ally of a crossdresser might find it easier to offer rational support without getting too close and drawn in to providing support on an emotional level. A ally might not even have to be comfortable with crossdressing but still accept and support it.

... and then there are confidants but maybe that is another topic. Any thoughts?

Hi,

Well the woman i was married to for 35 years is the only one i would say is more that just an ally & still is ,& will be ,
we are not married because we had our marrage annuld still thats not a issue, & as to others i would say yes though you may say they are friends for me they are more than just friends,

there are many i can talk with & have done they are the ones i can trust, most are women of cause because what we talk about really concerns women, as to men i dont think so, not in the way we women do, men well those i know & that means most i wont talk about issues that are ours . i mean its just, many men have no idear any way & why would they , part of our difference,

...noeleena...

Ally, confidante, best friend whatever.
I think they are all very similar and you would ask help of them and also confide in them.
Who else do you trust.

I think an ally is quite different from a confidant and best friend. A ally my help you when you need a place to dress or maybe help you hide stuff from your wife. Not someone your going to confide in. Where as a confidant and best friend would be there for you in time of trouble and someone you would regularly hangout with

I don't have an ally but I do have a best friend (even better) that would go the extra mile for me and never question why.

As I recall the joke
A good friend will be at central booking at 3AM on a Wednesday morning with bail money for you.
A real friend will be sitting next to you in central booking at 2:30 AM on a Wednesday morning saying "Well I guess we're out of the closet now, but what a great time when you ...."

My ally is the TG "Force" and a powerful ally it is indeed. :)

i only wish i had an ally to go on an outing with, makeup help or a shoulder to cry on when I am losing my mind :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rachael.davis

As I recall the joke
A good friend will be at central booking at 3AM on a Wednesday morning with bail money for you.
A real friend will be sitting next to you in central booking at 2:30 AM on a Wednesday morning saying "Well I guess we're out of the closet now, but what a great time when you ...."

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Well, the version I've always liked is: "A friend helps you move; a real friend helps you move a body..." ;).

well, I'm not sure where to classify my supportive friends based on this nomenclature. My wife is certainly an ally and confidante. One of my best lady friends(and a former co worker) probably falls into the ally category quite well too.

I have 4 girlfriends and I LOVE them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kimdl93

well, I'm not sure where to classify my supportive friends based on this nomenclature. My wife is certainly an ally and confidante. One of my best lady friends(and a former co worker) probably falls into the ally category quite well too.

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I think there might be some advantages in differentiating an ally from a friend.

For the sake of argument I will define an ally as an acquaintance you don't expect any emotional support from, only acceptance. I would expect them to agree in principal with your freedom of choice. In social situations I would also expect a good ally to at stand up for your fashion choices in principal (even if you appear odd to them). Having a few more of these people around could not hurt, it might even open up new benefits. I propose we expand our social networks to include ally's; acquaintances (not friends) with whom we can openly discuss cross dressing.

Good idea, or a pipe dream?

It seems like I am always looking for a partner in crime, an accomplice. For some reason, ever since I started telling people about my CDing, it seems to almost doom the friendship. It seems like every time I have told a friend or gained an ally, that person and I split ways. Never on bad terms, they just seem to grow distant and disappear. Even though I understand that life is like that, people come and go constantly, but it does seem odd.

Having an ally outside of a friend seems like something that would be pretty difficult to establish. Today I'm actually hoping to gain an ally with a cousin of mine, I am meeting her for coffee today, I've barely seen her in the last few years but I think she would be a good accomplice as she's quite liberal.