The undesirables

I have had a thought
Painful as it maybe I have realized that cross dressing is the new taboo in society. Not only is CDing frowned upon but it is actually ridiculed upon in today's society. I was talking at length to my friend who I recently told about my dressing she was cool with it but our conversation went into depth as to why we dress and for what reasons we indulge ourselves. My friend who has recently returned to the UK from a long period of living in Spain. Attitudes in Spain are somewhat different from in the UK and cross dressing is more frowned upon on the continent than here in Britain. Our conversation turned into attitudes and the fact that the Spanish were old fashioned in there attitude towards most things and CDing is most defiantly not a thing that you can get away with outside the big city's. My friend lived in Tenerife for 10 years and the locals there are very backward in there thinking compared to us Brits and things like charity shops ie oxfam British heart foundation Red cross don't exist. What I am trying to say is that where I live in the UK is a small town and forward thinking in small towns doesn't seem to exist and if you want to take cross dressing outside then you need to move to a big city to be more inconspicuous. Are we that undesirable that we cant wear what we want without fear of persecution and ridicule. I used to live in London and I reckon that if you wanted to CD there no problem. I read a thread on this site a person went to a gay bar dressed and got the piss taken out them big time. For goodness sake it is just clothes why why why cant we just wear what we want without wondering if we pass or blend in we are not hurting anyone leave us alone.

You’re talking about a perfect world but it doesn’t exist.
I could never go out in my part of the U.K. without ridicule or worse.

We just have to make the best of things and not let what we can’t have affect our happiness.

It sure is not a NEW taboo. I'd call it an age old Taboo. Keep in mind, the larger the city, the more of a "melting pot" it becomes. More perspectives means more tolerance BUT cross dressing is on the edge no matter what. If it were really "just clothes" then no one would care. Cross dressing, to outsiders, is a major statement about sexuality and gender roles. If you expect the public to just roll with it, you will be disappointed.

Thanks Jennifer and Suzy I am new to openly cross dressing and thought that telling my wife was th ne biggest hurdle. Now that I am out it seems life has laid out a whole new set of hurdles each one taller than the last.

Unfortunately, this is why many of us are still in the closet. the only good thing about is that we don't have big balls, but very tiny ones -( makes it easier to tuck)

I live openly as a transperson in a small town in Ireland, and I get absolutely no hassles from anybody. At least that's the way it's been so far. I think it's just the luck of the draw. It's hard to predict how people are going to react. I certainly got very, very lucky, in contrast to lots of other people.

But Jennifer is correct: it's certainly not a new taboo.

Best wishes, Annabelle

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

I For goodness sake it is just clothes why why why cant we just wear what we want without wondering if we pass or blend in we are not hurting anyone leave us alone.

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Because people generally do not like others who are 'different'. That hasn't changed, and probably won't, any time soon.

I think you might over generizing. There will be certain people or area that frowns upon it but I think it goes on more than we think of crossdressing. It seems a lot on here have had a good expierences.I think you just have to have a safe place to visit. I can't speak from expierence yet so you might be right but you might be wrong. You will never know till you venture out. In the next couple weeks I am going to do it. Hopefully I don't chicken out. I don't have to do it but I need to do it. I love to dance and I really want to have a nice dress on and heels and dance the night away. I'm sure my feet will be hurting the next day , but you know what say no pain - no gain.

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Originally Posted by andrea lace

Thanks Jennifer and Suzy I am new to openly cross dressing and thought that telling my wife was th ne biggest hurdle. Now that I am out it seems life has laid out a whole new set of hurdles each one taller than the last.

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No, I think just different than the last. The stress of hiding, once relieved, opens possibilities you hadn't yet considered. Take your time.

We live in the UK, not in a big city and have not had any problems. We have had holidays all over the the country and apart from the add luck and stupid comment, we've had no trouble at all and have found most people just go about their own business.

Society has drummed it into the minds of people that anything outta the norm is wrong...and the only way to put this right is for people to try and get out and show that trans people are just ordinary people going about their day, just like others do.

We have areas here in the US that are very closed minded when it comes o accepting anything the inhabitants don't consider "normal". My suburban community is somewhat conservative and probably more judgemental, but the surrounding larger cities are much more forgiving, hence accepting.

Well, I wouldn't say it's new. It was only 40-ish years ago that it was often explicitly illegal. The people who were being arrested at Stonewall Inn, which triggered in turn the Stonewall Riots in the US, were largely transvestites and transgender individuals, with some arrests for missing ids or drugs. It was illegal to crossdress in public due to the framing of public decency laws. The original big movement here was started really by drag queens, trans women, and trans men, although the LGB community quickly tried to move those individuals out of view as marginal individuals that "might not be acceptable to the mainstream."

The sad tale, of course, is that was quite recent, and there are those who would go back to it. The positive side is that so much change has been seen, even though we are quite far from trascending those ancient taboos.

Fortunately, especially with the internet, one can now at least have a community :). The above, though, is why we should always try to be as inclusive as possible.

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

It sure is not a NEW taboo. I'd call it an age old Taboo. Keep in mind, the larger the city, the more of a "melting pot" it becomes. More perspectives means more tolerance BUT cross dressing is on the edge no matter what. If it were really "just clothes" then no one would care. Cross dressing, to outsiders, is a major statement about sexuality and gender roles. If you expect the public to just roll with it, you will be disappointed.

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^ This sums up my reaction. Nothing new about most of society frowning on CDing. Imagine being dressed in public in the '50s.

It's what the 'just clothes' represent to most folks. And it's more than just clothes isn't it? Wigs, makeup, breast forms are employed by out of the closet CDs in an attempt to pass. Maybe you're passing as a TS, not a woman.

My experience of the UK was a fair bit of tolerance more than the US.
Greater London was like San Francisco, quite tolerant.
The Continent is a bit more variable, they have the Euro.
You don't know where you stand there, in any country over there, I might add.

When the fears of people are played upon by narrowed minded individuals who want to extoll their own brand of "right" then we have intolerance, ridicule, and sometimes a violent reaction. "HATE BEGETS HATE"!!!!

Molly