Moving forward Help!

I just started to see a new therapist yesterday that my old therapist recommended to me who has a lot more transgender experience. See was great we talked about me telling that one person to start. She told me that see knows that it's scary to tell someone but it could also be a great release. I'm going to talk to that person when I get back from vacation but my next step is to tell my adult kids 29 & 27. I'm not sure yet how far down that road I will go but I know to move forward I need to come out. It's who I am and I'm not ashamed of who I am. I need some advice on telling my kids, I don't know who to start that conversation or whether I should talk to there spouses at the same time. Help please Janelle

I understand the "release" concept, but I would suggest that you take care not to impose increasing emotional stress upon yourself. If your "one person" is your SO, that makes sense, but before I personally would approach others with my inner identity I'd hope to be very at peace with myself, first. Do I understand your post, and does that make sense? Take care dear, Elfin

Why do your kids need to know? Telling someone is a tremendous relief, but until you know where you are headed, what would you tell them? I'll assume you have no spouse so what about a brother or sister or close friend instead? There is less pressure there and you may learn some things about telling that you want to get right when you tell a loved one.

Revealing yourself may be a release, but, it also may create more stress. Do you want to just get a load off your mind? Or do you want to appear en femme before your wife? Your children? What will be your reaction if your wife totally rejects your cross dressing? And, you too? The same with your children and their spouses. Are to prepared for any potential negative reactions? What would your plans be if there is partial or total rejection?

My wife knows of my cross dressing. It did have an effect on our marriage for a very long time. It's DADT. I have no desire to appear en femme in front of her or anyone else I know. I dress to relief stress, no create more. You need to discuss how you will deal with any potential negative reactions.

If you decide to tell someone, I would recommend starting with your wife. See how it goes.

I think you need to consider the implications before coming out to the children.
Is it necessary for a start.
Stay within yourself and practice your CDing in private.
If you wish go out for trips where you can remain anonymous.

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Originally Posted by Jenniferathome

Why do your kids need to know? Telling someone is a tremendous relief, but until you know where you are headed, what would you tell them? I'll assume you have no spouse so what about a brother or sister or close friend instead? There is less pressure there and you may learn some things about telling that you want to get right when you tell a loved one.

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I do have a wife who has known for 31 years. I know that just CDing in my home is not enough for me I'm think of going on HRT and transitioning, the only thing I'm worried about is my wife. My wife is the only reason that I wouldn't go 100%. She has said if I do it will be hard but we would work on it, she loves me and just wants me to be happy. I love here and also want her to be happy. So I'm still trying to figure some stuff out in therapy which she has been a part of. My wife asked me why is it so important for me to come out and I told her before I started therapy I was confused and ashamed of my feelings and now I'm not, and if I have to keep it a secret then to me it's that I would be ashamed of and I'm not. Yes I worry how my kids will look at me after they know, but that's something I will have to deal with. I'm not going to tell them so I can dress in front of them. But if I do transition I want them to know already. Janelle

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Originally Posted by Shy Girl

My wife asked me why is it so important for me to come out and I told her before I started therapy I was confused and ashamed of my feelings and now I'm not, and if I have to keep it a secret then to me it's that I would be ashamed of and I'm not.

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For me, it was a matter that I couldn't continue to live a lie.

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Originally Posted by sandra-leigh

For me, it was a matter that I couldn't continue to live a lie.

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That's also part of it for me I feel like a phony sometimes like I'm bidding who I really am.

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Originally Posted by Shy Girl

That's also part of it for me I feel like a phony sometimes like I'm bidding who I really am.

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Sorry that was hiding not bidding not you just love auto correct.